People who see entire demographics of humanity as “the enemy” are so baffling to me, whether they’re incels/misogynists or racists or radfems or whomever I just look at them and wonder why you’d choose a life of such misery. People of a certain gender, sexuality, race or whatever demographic are not inherently your enemy just because they are part of said demographic. Gender and race essentialism is incredibly dangerous and untrue and it especially confuses me when people who claim to be trans allies abide by the former because that mindset is especially dangerous to trans people.

People are individuals, not a hive mind. Society as a whole has massive issues, and some groups may benefit from them more than others (like how the patriarchy hurts men but they still benefit from it far more than women ever will because it has men in mind, albeit only a certain type of man), but individuals are individuals. And what a depressing life it must be to instead navigate the world believing that millions of people are beneath you before they’ve even spoken a word.

I'll just say (once more) that the absolute vitriol and violence aimed towards radical feminists compared to actual hate groups is very telling.

Being concerned about the potential exclusion of women is TERFy

I know SEVERAL afab nonbinary people who, as soon as they came out as nonbinary - immediately began dressing in ridiculous hyper-femme outfits they never would have worn before.  A lot of people see this and say shit like “Theyfab” or say they are only nonbinary for attention.  After all, look how femme they are.

But to me, this makes perfect sense.  When you are forced into the category of “woman” against your will, femininity is a chore.  It’s a job that you have.  As soon as you say no, I’m not a woman, suddenly femininity isn’t your job anymore.  It’s not a requirement.  It’s just a fun hobby you can get into.  Or a little treat sometimes.

the idea that reading is 'supposed to be' some kind of unenjoyable gruelling intellectual penance is also so goofy because like, good fucking luck disciplining yrself into cultivating a habit you hate and that makes you miserable i guess! it's like if you insisted people's food should be bland or unpalatable in the name of Health and anyone who ate something tasty was morally inferior and a societal danger. oh wait

"Bitch" does not belong in the mouths of men, at least not to be used on women. I know it's not popular to make comparisons, but it is no more your word than the R-word is to the intellectually-abled or the N-word is to whites or the K-word is to gentiles. What have women, as a class, experienced if not oppression as real and historic as any?

"It's just used so often." Yeah, and that's a second problem; ubiquity does not a non-issue make. The universality of sexism doesn't make it "less" of a problem--it makes it a bigger one. The fact that "bitch" isn't taken seriously as a slur and the fact that it is so commonly-uttered are factors that walk hand-in-hand.

If you look at its history (and present!) and the way it was intended and the secondary class women have historically occupied in relation to men, it absolutely does fit the classification for being a slur. It's not technically one which men, as an oppressor class, can reclaim for themselves. It literally means "female dog" and to this day is still used to degrade women--even if it is also used in other ways (men & women calling men "bitch," women reclaiming it, people using it rather more to indicate an unpleasant person (even though this person is still statistically female.))

Women have received other pejorative language, some of them animal-based, others targeting their character: this is one among many, and all are evidence of misogyny.

The word, itself, targets a particular, oppressed sex, and words have an effect on the collective cultural psyche--the little things matter. Sociology 101.

Also, being oppressed on some other axis does not magically cancel out sexism or privilege. If we can understand that racial slurs don't belong in the mouths of white women even though they are women, then we can understand why gendered slurs should not be used on women even if the man is oppressed elsewhere in the political hierarchy.

It blows my mind how fucking tone-deaf men can be to what makes women uncomfortable. We're raised in a society that tells us as children to watch out for half the human population or we'll be assaulted, but then as we grow up we're gaslit by that same society to "give them a chance, not all men are that bad!" BUT we also see the SAME society blaming assaults all on the women who gave them a chance! As if she should've known better when you hamstrung her instincts for who's dangerous by telling her everybody and nobody all her life! Anybody can be dangerous! But not that one and you're a b*tch for thinking he is! Even if you were right! But if you gave him a chance and he assaulted you, you should've known better!

And then the "safe" men, who have never given an ounce of empathy for this to a woman in their lives, will happily invite a woman to hang out and then talk about or play music about p*rn habits, putting a woman in her place, "b*tches and hoes", "suck my dick", all that shit and have no clue she's uncomfortable. It won't even have crossed his mind.

And he'll have the gall to act offended when you finally tell him off.