You're a RatGirl

I have experienced all of these things. 
The fucking isolation I've experienced most of my life. 
The Anxiety. FUCK YOU FOR MAKING THIS. 
I love you sister. 

Parental divorce and being thrown away like trash as a child. 
I am still on my healing journey. I am still stuck in a fucking room that I feel isolated in without my door open. But atleast its not a basement, I have lived in rats nest like dirty rooms, and several basements in my life due to poverty. My Faith has been a big part of keeping me going. Psychiatry, therapy,friends help. But I'm still so fucking broken.  

Recently I was in a very open windowed comfortable cozy apartment with another trans girl. The light was shining, it wasn't dark. The Air was flowing. I could hear birds chirping. And I feel inside of my chest feelings again. Kiss her. I have never felt so loved, affirmed, and safe in my life. But I don't know if this relationship is going to last. She's busy has two other girlfriends, and wants to be friends first which I don't mind. 

Ever since, after my first partner broke my heart pre-transition. I have been unable to truly feel love. My heart has been numb. But a little bit ago I met someone who makes me feel worthy. Worthy of appreciation. I just hope I can see her again soon. 
I hope that she doesn't give up on me like so many other people have. 
I'm fucking terrified of abandonment. The Priest from my parish is leaving for a new position in the church. She is a queer woman and has lead the lgbt group for a year now. She has shown me what feels like true inexhaustible love coming from God. I cried in front of my friends when she told us this. I told her I wish she could stay. I'll miss you so much. I have severe trauma related to abandonment. My queer parishioners consoled me placing thing hands on my shoulders. Hugging me. 

But I've realized that she will be ok, I will be ok. Shes going to go help other people. Shes moving on. I wonder if this is what the disciples felt when Jesus left. Their teacher their Rabbi. 

I'm so used to abandonment, destitute poverty. 
I was going to be homeless last January, but then I found faith. I found other queer friends through my episcopal church and they helped me. I feel furious at the world, all of the greed. I'm Glad I'm still here because I've seen the lives of others around me get better. And I've seen others do things for me out of the kindness of their heart. A lot of trans people may not like it but Faith in God keeps me going. 

forgiving my parents has been hard. Sometimes I don't know if I am able to. 
i try. 

This work made me tear up. Writing my story here to you made me cry. 
 
This work triggered me. It made me remember things I didn't want to. But also sometimes its good to cry. To let myself heal. Crying no matter where you are means you are healing. Especially at church I've learned this.  
I'm tired for apologizing to queer people who reject my faith. 
They see me as a pariah, but i fucking need this. It gives me immense safety.
I do not betray them, I never will. I know God Loves them, and Loves us. 

I'm sorry for rambling about Faith, but it's helped me. Exploring my emotions, crying, finding love. Affirmation is important, Queer lives are important. Sometimes we need to acknowledge our trauma to start healing from it. Sometimes we need to face the evil we've experienced and talk about it. Sometimes we need to look at the future to keep going. Sometimes we put our hopes in someone to keep going. 

-Lina Campbell

I don't know what I expected from this jam entry but it wasn't this. /pos

As a queer person who struggles with mental illness (anxiety, depression and C-PTSD) that resulted not only from childhood trauma but also the fact I was undiagnosed ADHD and autistic for over 3 decades of my life, this game hit a nerve.

I wrote Hang In There, Little One as a way to try to help my wounded inner child begin to heal and it was hard enough fitting all I wanted to say onto one piece of paper. I cannot fathom how much more challenging it must have been to express such a thing in merely 12 words, making each of them count. On top of that, all the graphic elements help make the message pop and gain extra weight. You can almost feel the emotion like it's something palpable that is right there, so near yet so far, almost within your grasp but just barely out of reach. It's truly remarkable how much depth you can get across in only 12 words!

I can't put into words what coming across this game today meant to me. Thank you for sharing. The world needs more games like this. /gen

So, I'm confused what the gameplay mechanics are supposed to be for this.  There's no instructions on how to play.

I can't be sure about all the subconscious processes that took place here but I think I made this because of your game.

I keep returning to this game. I mean this is the 3rd or 4th time that I can recall reading through. I have an urge to praise it but can't really find the words right now. I just wanted to say that you should definitely keep doing this. I feel a kinship to it.

The 12 words combined (just on their own) may not make you feel something... but THEN you realize this is not "just 12 words" put together... this is a real struggle and there is a huge effort behind it.

Thanks for sharing this document and for putting yourself out here.
Hope every Ratgirl escapes from their trauma!

Great game! Love the layout and the art. I can really feel the emotions in the 12 words.

Twelve words that pack a lotta punch. Sometimes less is more.

This is a piece of ingeniousness! Thank You! <3