Cool as a Cucumber

This is normally where I'd suggest you play the downloadable build instead of the web build but tbh I think the crunchy loading adds to the jank here

You've woken up with amnesia so all you remember are your name and pronouns :( But that's fine! Your memories aren't important anyway! What's important is that you get to meet all the cute guys you live with! They're all kinda weird, but one of them stands out to you...

He's so...cool...

Like a cucumber...

💙💙💙💙💙💙

(This is an entry to the "Worst Visual Novel Ever" Challenge and the REALLY BAD IF jam. Adjust your expectations accordingly.)

Featyres

• Renamable protagonist
• Pronoun selection...technically...
• Creative Commons assets chosen with zero negative regard as to style or thematic cohesion (please don't take their inclusion in this project as a statement on the assets' quality LMAO)
• Fully non-custom default Ren'Py GUI
• Meaningful choices that truly matter :)
• 3 endings
• A heartfelt(?) 1.8k-word story making fun of my favorite love interest archetype
• You Can Fix It ("It" meaning "this game" and "Fix" meaning that the game is under a CC BY-NC license so go wild)
• I typoed the word "Features," fixed it, then decided the typo was funnier so I unfixed it

Assets used

• Sprites by LinXueLian, Banya, Dandelight, ClaraNoctis, onboroo, runeraccoon
• Backgrounds by Spiral Atlas, Delphinium Interactive
• Music by Fatal Exit
• Blood spatter by Blue Rose Sonata
  
• Story text by me, except for the portions which are pasted from the Wikipedia article on conflict resolution
• Art on the cover image by me, scribbled with one finger on my phone's notes app
• Wrench icon by Freepik