In considering Legally Blonde within the framework of the Homestuck universe–more precisely, Alternian culture–Elle Woods’ hemocaste becomes crucial to understanding her journey. The film’s core message is that of an underestimated woman defying expectations, which can be mapped onto Alternia’s complex social hierarchy. I’ve narrowed it down to three possible interpretations for Elle Woods: olive-blood, jade-blood, or fuschia-blood, each offering different perspectives on her character and thematic function in Alternian media.

(This analysis blends elements of both the movie and the musical, so any lore differences between them should be regarded as inconsequential.)

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(Content warning: religion, cults)

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Characters: Safron Zergaz, Zaros Stellon, Leyraa Azubah

(Leyraa -> @windy-trickster)

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Your name is Safron Zurgaz, and, for the first time in your stay at the House, you feel trapped.

Daily life has continued as usual. While you’d been asked a minimal amount of questions regarding Leyraa’s sudden disappearance, they had been of a tame manner. What had the two of you talked about? Had Leyraa been acting strange prior to her disappearance? Did Leyraa ever say anything that may have indicated she was planning on leaving?

Your answers were easily verifiable via the security cams the Church had variously stationed throughout the House. It helped that you’d never exactly been assigned to Leyraa either, per se, so you were never in charge of her whereabouts or what she did, especially seeing as she was a rank higher than you were. You’d been given… certain relevant information, of course. It had been given to all the other authorities in your sect, solely so those of you who interacted with her knew to be careful.

She’d had a troubled past, Deacon Zarios had said. It’s best if you avoid mentioning her past at all. At her request, we’ve wiped her memories. Help her start her new life here, Safron. Keep her from making the same mistakes that brought her here. You, of all people, should be able to understand.

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Part 2: Sentire

(Content warning: drowning, gore)

Part 1 // Google Docs

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Part 1: Divenire

(Content warning: drowning)

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You press the button on the historical display, inspecting the order of battle hung behind the glass.

“The final blow to the near 100-sweep war on Eraniel was dealt by none other than Major General Viktor Kazmir, who commanded the 94th Imperial Division. Although his superiors had their doubts due to his youth and lack of experience, Kazmir did what no other commander had been able to do at the time: he ended the war, finally bringing Eraniel into the league of Her Imperial Majesty’s planethood. For his exemplary service, Kazmir was promoted to Lieutenant General of the East-Malexian Imperial Corps.”

A rugged looking imperial guard, leaning back on the stucco wall of a long-abandoned building, scoffs under his breath. “The brat wins one war, and suddenly he’s in charge.”

(Content warning: violence, drowning)

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——————————————————————————
Hypoxia: Noun. Refers to low oxygen conditions
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Darkness.

An inky blackness surrounds you. No light accompanies the burning in your chest. Your chest is burning, your throat is aflame, and your lungs are on fire. Yet as you go to speak, you find you have no voice. No mouth. You try to move but can’t even feel if a body is connected to you. Who are you? Do you have a name? No words come to your mind—if you even have one. What are you?

Do you even exist?

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speaking of writing drabbles on your phone

is that anything