when i was really little and had just learned how to write my full name . i noticed my twin brother had really messy handwriting. while mine was like … as nice as it could be for a little kid. so i wrote my name in his handwriting on a wall and i waited to see who our parents would get mad at . and they blamed him. and that was when my life of crime began
all joking aside it’s really funny that like little kids do things like that sometimes . my mom would look at her phone everytime she was at a red light so i got into the habit of saying “green” once the light changed so she would know . one day i was like “i wonder if i say green while it’s red if she’ll go” and so i did . and she did . and i got yelled at real bad
though looking back on it what the hell was she doing relying on like a five year old . who was a chronic shoplifter and liar . for that . i’m surprised we didn’t get into more accidents
maybe i didnt come back wrong maybe i was just a weird freak when i was alive but i hid it and acted so normal and after i died i decided to stop pretending. maybe being resurrected was the perfect opportunity for me to be myself because i knew you would chalk it up to the horror of me coming back wrong. but the horror was always inside me. did u think about that
tumblr user 1: you guys should drink more plain water, it’s good for you
tumblr user 2: actually you can drink whatever you want all the time
tumblr user 3: yee and water is icky :(
tumblr user 4: I literally can’t drink plain water as I’ll instantly start throwing up, some people’s bodies simply can’t process it, you can’t make blanket statements about what’s good or not good for someone else’s digestive system
tumblr user 5: ooouugh.. tony the tiger hairy armpits 😩
