Very cool! Thanks for posting!
Witching Metal Productions
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Sorry to say, but this idea is on hold for now :( My buddy Geno helps me out a lot with some of these more far-out concepts, and I need to schedule some time with him to smoke a bowl and brainstorm. This is one of those "needs Geno's touch" games if you get what I mean.
I appreciate your interest though, I like the idea a lot.
This is extremely good stuff! Thanks for this. I will be using it with my upcoming horror mystery VN, Innocent Creatures.
I thought this was a very strong and well-polished piece, both in terms of writing and art. The characters were well defined and fleshed out, and the worldbuilding was easy to comprehend if a bit much to digest at times. The beginning was a bit heavy on backstory and slow to get going, though. I could see this being made into something like an anime!
Thank you for the kind comment! And I'd say your take on the story is accurate. It's been a while but I do plan on following this up with a proper sequel.
I agree re: the sprites having color that matches their names, I like that idea a lot! I will let you know when I update this game and follow it up with a sequel. 🫡
Hey, this is a really good little narrative experience! It ran a little choppy on my system, but that's almost certainly due to my outdated drivers. The graphics, writing, and sound design came together really nicely despite being a rather short experience. The effect with the world falling away when you approach the door was cool too.
I have just a couple minor bits of feedback regarding QOL:
- The sound balancing seemed a little iffy in places, the sirens at the start seemed a good bit louder than everything else for example.
- Escape key seems to quite the game immediately - would be nice to be able to access option settings in game if possible!
- I'm a slow reader, and the text boxes sometimes disappear before I'm finished reading them, requiring me to back up and walk up again. It would be nice if they stay open until you dismiss them or walk away
- The mouse sensitivity is a little high for my liking even on lowest setting - I would prefer even lower settings.
- The phrasing on the college letter threw me off at first, it's either missing a word (inform/tell) or it's an intentional fragment of the letter, in which case it might help to include part of the word "inform" at the edge of the paper or something like that.
- This is a super minor one, but the model used for the airplane doesn't seem consistent with a commercial airline, which the note mentions the MC flew. The model chosen looks more a single-seater hobbyist type of plane. Totally understandable with the small team and limited timeframe, but as a player it's the kind of thing that throws me off a bit while experiencing the narrative.
Great work Vera, Matt, Corentin, Yuliya, and Jaryn!
Hey, space jammers!
I'm a writer/programmer working on a Visual Novel for this jam entitled A Long Walk. I was wondering if anyone's potentially interested in joining an ongoing project.
My submission is a short neo-noir VN that follows Gregory Ward: A ranch hand employed by organized crime to hide "packages" on the private property of a remote farm in Arizona. When the cops finally show up and shut down his operation, Ward takes a deal to put his associates behind bars in exchange for just a year in prison. But only a week into his sentence, the power goes out and the prisoners overwhelm the guards. Ward and the other so-called "snitches" must make their last stand in an empty basketball court if they want to leave the prison in once piece.
If anyone is interested in contributing, I could use the help of artists, testers/editors, voice actors, musicians, and anyone else who would like to share their talents on the project.
Hey! This is a great one-pager and I dig the looseness and freedom you give to the players and GM alike. Keeping that ethos in mind, I have a few suggestions for polish:
- I would try to reduce extraneous explanations to the bare minimum so you can save as much space as possible for rule explanations. For example, I think the first two sentences of the Roles description can be simplified as "Each role comes with special knowledge and some gear."
- I think the specific rule explanations are great (e.g. rolling and health) but it's a little vague in places, such as "negates electric damage" or "negates all chemical damage" - as a GM I'd be likely to ignore these if it's not referenced at all elsewhere, such as in the Consequence Ideas
- Generally speaking, I think these rules would benefit from an additional one-pager that gives Scenario ideas. Better yet if they provide character some character archetypes that players can base their own characters on!
I look forward to seeing more of this, especially some scenarios!
Great art style with slick and fun point-and-click mechanics!
I made a few notes for critique and bugs I noticed:
- During dialogue, it would be nice if each major character had a unique color to their name. It gets a little disorienting when they all have bright-red names when they're speaking, but when they say someone else's name it's blue.
- On that note, I'm not really sure what the pattern is behind certain words being colored green in dialogue.
- Movement is a little slow - it would be nice to be able to run!
- When you mouse over the perfume, the tooltip says "Parfum" - seems like this got missed in translation.
- When I talk to Marc, his name changes to Doug.
- Some of the dialogue is hard to follow, possibly due to translation. For example, when you interact with the barman: You can ask "Are you hugry?" (misspelled "hungry" or "angry"?) and the bartender replies "Of course, what questions!" I'm not really sure what's being communicated here to be honest.
- This is mainly personal preference, but I find a bit of the side dialogue to be rather banal and doesn't add much to the characters or story. Instead of something simple like "Are you hungry?" "Of course I am!" it would be cool to be able to find out something more pertinent to the character or story. For example, even just asking the bartender something like "How long have you worked here/owned this establishment?"
- The transition between scenes is jarring and abrupt. I think it would help to include some kind of visual indicator that you're moving from one physical location to another, plus maybe some text or dialogue that indicates the shift in perspective from Nyck to Owen.
Overall this is a great little prologue and I think the full game has tons of potential to be an awesome point-and-click experience!
Content warning: This game features descriptions of war, death, gun violence, and drug/alcohol abuse. There are no graphic images in this game.
There are a few casual mentions of suicide in conversation between political adversaries (e.g. a character saying "If you want to commit suicide, there are better ways to do it" to reject a plan you proposed to them).
Additionally, there's a hard-to-reach path where the player becomes the new dictator of the country, and if specific conditions are met, the player is given the option to commit suicide in a manner similar to Adolf Hitler. I hope this is considered within acceptability for the game's dark themes, and if it helps, this specific path is unlikely to be seen by the majority of players except people who specifically try to get this outcome.
That said, I'll gladly withdraw my submission if the mods feel this crosses a line. Thanks!
Thank you so much for this kind review! It means a lot to me that you enjoyed the game so much.
Progress has been slow, but I'm working on an update which will expand and add new endings, so I can definitely look into adding an extra ending that includes Artur more heavily! Especially if the player picked Helthien, since I agree that's a great opportunity for an alternate or "hidden" ending if you play your cards right.
Thanks again for your feedback and stay tuned for more updates!