>I cut a lot of corners in the art and the visuals, grudgingly saying "this looks bad but it's the best I have without dumping ten thousand dollars into this" a whole lot
As long as it's something you're keeping it in mind, I'd say you're good fam. Let me say it clearly too, I think everybody who enjoyed your work is happy you released it regardless (this includes me). A VN with some minor flaws is 100% better than no VN, or a VN that spends forever in development hell.
I actually have a lot of respect for people who work with what they've got and actually release it fully, rather than seek perfection on every work, you know?
>I have more money at my disposal to throw at the project
Before that, I might look toward ways you can make the VN more visually appealing without the use of money. The little things, like UI, or if a character fits into the background. Tsukihime, Higurashi, and Katawa Shoujo all used photo filter backgrounds when they were doujin works like yours, and they became breakout successes despite the industry having visually beautiful, heavy CG works for a time before them. It's possible, but tricky, and requires some creativity, I suppose.
>when I decided it might be interesting to go and visit them. Then Kate's presence in the game kind of grew like a metastasizing tumor.
Hey, sometimes that's the way the writing takes you. It made for a good plot which is why I hesitate to criticize it. But just a tad more attention diverted to the heroine might have been good. Ideally, you'd have both the ranger and cool scenes for Cynthia, but that requires more work in all aspects and this VN is already at a good length.
Also, I may have been wrong here. Looking at the store page now, there's no overwhelming impression that this VN is for Cynthia only. It seems to be be a more general than that. So my B.
>I have no idea what you mean by the suspension bridge effect.
Ah, it's a writing tactic/dating advice based on the concept that a couple undergoing a dangerous trial (such as crossing a rickety bridge together) will grow stronger and trust each other more.
One more thing. I'd be surprised if this was your first visual novel work. If so, it's really impressive. Even if it's your second or third, there's a lot you've done that surpass expectations. Pacing and length of the story, the characters are sprightly, choice structure is solid and useful, achievement system with integrated New Game mechanics... It all clearly has a lot of effort and balancing put into it. There's talent there, you know?