Okay, Daniel is the best. Such a sweetheart! I love him to bits and I'm so worried I might be messing up, but I really hope I'm not. Also, I have to ask: Is the butler a reference to a certain person with the same (first) name and appearance? Because when I saw him, I immediately thought of said person (avoiding spoilers as much as I can, even though he's not a super big character). And the draaaamaaaaaaa, OMG. More alsos: is there a point where you can say you're not interested in women? Cause I know there was one point where you can tell a character you're not interested in men, but one for the opposite would be nice. I noticed some grammatical errors/misspellings/other oopses. Any where I could list them to be of help, if it'd be of help? Aaaaand I love this game so far and am excited for more. It's amazing. Thank you for all your hard work!
Viewing post in The Wedding (Episode one-six) comments
Thanks for the feedback. The name of the butler is just because that's the name my Patreons voted for.
The game is very romance-focused so the ROs you chose will show interest. The best way to avoid this is to choose them as the gender you're attracted to.
Or
Choose Cass as your best friend.
Block romance with Micah
Avoid the flirt options, I think I started marking them in episide 6.
For the typos and grammar, a list would be very helpful. You can post them here or send me an anon on Tumblr.
Thank you.
Sorry, didn't mean to sound rude or anything, I was just curious about that since when said character flirts with you, you can say you're not interested in guys. I thought it was an interesting conversation and wondered if there was one similar with anyone else.
I did have a moment with Tara (/Tariq) looking really upset after not choosing them and then them witnessing Danny leaving my apartment. Does this happen no matter what you say to them before that? Is it affected by if you choose to go talk with them over things to try to mend things with them?
Also, I'm very curious how the romance/friendship meters change. Is it just based on who you choose to take with you? For instance, I didn't notice any changes to Danny's when I was talking with him, no matter what choice I chose. Is it calculated after the ends of the chapters or is it not really affected until after you chose them and then is affected by the flirt options that will come in later chapters?
You're not rude at all. I write instalove, so the characters all pretty much have a crush on MC whether you're romancing them or not. That is why for some, I added the block romance just to make things easier for people who are not romancing them.
The "not into guy" is just a line I added because Lip was coming on too strong, it doesn't affect anything.
The stats are not fully implemented, so some will rise and some will don't.
Tara/Tariq will be sad no matter what. And if you choose them, it will be Danny who is sad.
Overall the story is a drama/comedy/romance and some reactions from the characters are added for dramatic effect.
Thanks for the reply! I did realize that after playing through with Tara/Tariq chosen. I don't know why it didn't actually click until then.
Ah, okay! I was worried if I chose it someone else would take that as my character not being interested in them even if they're the one I go for. Makes sense with the stats. I look forward to seeing how they change in the final product! I was going to make myself a little guide because I can be hit or miss with my choices (Yo-Jin-Bo: The Bodyguards... OMG, I could not get Muneshige XP), but I'll be making it after the game's full release, then. ^_^
I really love the writing and the storyline. I've played through almost every different thing so far. Just need to go through each RO with Micah as an ex instead of a bully, and I'll be done with everything until the next chapter releases. ^_^ Thanks for replying again and for all the hard work put into the game. Wish I had chosen a higher tier on Kickstarter now XD
Corr. = Correction, Sugg. = Suggestion
I did not write down the full sentences.
Before choosing RO
Danny: "Plane ticket? Where are we going?" Corr. "tickets".
"And all the calls, and favors are" Corr. no comma.
Cass: "No, Daniel?" Sugg. no comma (unless he's supposed to pause here).
Dream sequence:
(Micah was bully when I noticed this, but it is likely also in the version where Micah is your ex): "Same school where you ended up being" Corr. add "The" before "same" and lowercase "s".
Option: "You're joking, right!" Corr. change exclamation point to question mark or add question mark before exclamation point (?!)
Cass route:
Cass (platonic friendship): "because it's going to be our first time" Corr. capitalize "because".
Cass (FwB): "doesn't ruin the connection that we laready have" Corr. misspelling of "already".
(not sure if only in Cass FwB route, just the one I noticed it in) "You quickly nods and look away" Corr. "nod".
Cass: "Only rich people do stupid things like naming island after themselves." Corr. "an island" or "islands".
Option: "It's maybe just the thrill." Corr. switch "it's" and "maybe".
Tar route:
(may be in multiple routes, but noticed in Tar's) "After a few minutes, of kissing and your hands romaing over each other's bodies, Tariq" Corr. no comma after "minutes" and misspelling of "roaming".
Tar: "I'm still pump that" Corr. "pumped".
Tar: "if mommy's and daddy's money will ever" Sugg. "mommy and daddy's".
"Believe me, you haven't seen nothing yet" Corr. "anything".
Playing as Tar: "yet worried he might be even more upset with you" Corr./Sugg. add "if you do" at end.
"Never again you'll meet" Corr. "Never again will you meet".
"Tariq's face lights up with a smile as he runs a hand through his hair" Sugg. Tar is wearing a bonnet in the sprite, maybe change the sentence for consistency?
Option: "At least, he's/she's not snoring." Corr. no comma.
Tar: "the universe is rewarding me with some nice time" Sugg. change "some" to "a".
Danny route:
MC: "whole mess of an argument started?" Corr. change question mark to period.
Cass: "Heard that Daniel is going to be your plus one for Micah's Wedding?" Corr. lowercase "W" and change the question mark to a period.
Danny: "I'm even surprised that another rich family decided to marry their child to Micah" Corr. get rid of "even" or move it to between "family" and "decided".
"It's been a long flight and I can use the warm water to relax my sore body." No speaker tag, pretty sure Danny is supposed to be the speaker. Also, suggestion: change "can" to "could really". Sugg. 2. if change to "could really" get rid of "my sore body" or "to relax my sore body"; ie "It's been a long flight and I could really use the warm water to relax."/"It's been a long flight and I could really use the warm water."
Playing as Danny: "you're this close to do something you might regret." Corr. "doing".
Danny: "What would your favorite person would be like?" Corr. get rid of second "would".
Option about bonuses for employees "I's never a bad thing to give back a little." Corr. "It's".
No specific RO/all routes:
Hayden POV: "you know that you've done a considerable damage" Corr. get rid of "a" or add "amount of" after "considerable".
Flashback (talking to Danny?) "but do you mind elaborate on" Corr. "elaborating" or "could you elaborate on".
(don't remember exactly where this was) mc: "I think you should be Careful, Chief Cassidy." Corr. lowercase "careful".
(don't remember exactly where this was, had it under Danny's route) "Here, you're hoping that Daniel" Corr. get rid of "here", capitalize "you're".
"but it doesn't seems like he can hear you" Corr. change to "seem" or "seems like he doesn't (or "can't" instead) hear you".
Therapist thoughts: "You jolt down even more notes" Corr. "jot".
??? (Freddy): "you will notice a section called 'Liability And Equity." Corr. add apostrophe before period.
??? (Freddy): "current Liability came to" Corr. lowercase "L".
Option: "Wow. she's that desperate" Corr. capitalize "she's" (referring to Micah).
Cass FwB, let in:
"claiming your lips into a passionate kiss" Sugg. change "into" to "in".
"and pulls himself up all the while" Corr. add comma after "up".
"Cassidy makes his way down kissing and licking making his way" Sugg. "Cassidy moves (or leave as makes) his way down, kissing and licking, making his way" Sugg. 2. "makes his way down" twice in the sentence is a bit repetitive, maybe get rid of or change one? Perhaps rearrange the sentence a little if you get rid of one?
at Danny's:
"all while awaiting for Daniel." Corr. "waiting" or get rid of "for".
"as your hands grips the edge" Corr. "grip".
"Of course, you're not." Corr. remove comma.
Danny: "stop stealing copies of my keys and show up" Corr. "showing".
Go to talk with Tar: MC: "you doing livestream in your underwear" Corr. "livestreams".
"the echoes of camaraderie of the team gathered at the entrance, still" Corr. no comma.
(don't remember exactly where this was) "as soon as your fingers intertwine, a spark of electricity shot through" Corr. "shoots".
"You spend countless hours with (chosen RO), poring over" Corr. "pouring".
??? (Summer): "You must be (MC) and plus one, right?" Sugg. add "his/her/their" before "plus one".
"and the young maid, Madeline turns to you" Corr. add a comma after "Madeline".
Madeline: "This was Mr. Bennedict" Corr. "This" to "That".
Micah: "How dare you speak to me like that?" Corr. change question mark to period (or exclamation point).
Micah: "from which low-life dating site you plucked him out, but" Corr. add "of" after "out".
"(RO) gets even closer to me, entertwining" Corr. "intertwining" or "entwining".
Tay: "I know that Micah used to be your bully/ex, and maybe those coming days are what we all need to set things straight." Odd sentence, don't quite understand the meaning. Sugg. "I know that Micah used to be your bully/ex, and maybe you're what we need in the coming days to set things straight." or instead of "you're", maybe: "those past days"; "the past is"; "your past is"; "your shared past is"; "your shared history is".
(don't remember exactly where this was) "You raise an eyebrow, curious" Corr. missing period at end.
"by the large balcony that offer panoramic views" Corr. "offers".
"When you wake up, the night has fallen" Sugg. get rid of "the".
"meticulously dusting the stairs railings" Corr. "the stair railings".
Tay thoughts: "you fall back silent trying to ignore (Micah)" Corr. "you fall silent, trying to ignore (Micah)".
"but when you step inside, two pairs of eyes are staring at you" Corr. "a pair of eyes"; "two pairs of eyes" only makes sense with Danny due to their tattoo.
"Summer, who is keeping score, gleefully announces the score." Sugg. clunky and repetitive, change to "Summer gleefully announces the score.".
"It may not be a real vacation, being in the Caribbean" Corr./Sugg. add "but" before "being".
Tay: "Now that the boat is here, so it's time for a different kind of fun." Corr. get rid of either "so", "now that", or just "that".
"He lowers his voice just so Taylor can hear." Corr. switch "so" and "just".
"but you also catch a glimpse" Corr./Sugg. change "a glimpse" to "parts of the conversation" or something similar.
Tay: "Ive learned to manage his moods over time." Corr. add apostrophe to "Ive".
Tay: "We have greenlight to disembark." Corr. add "the" after "have".
Option: "It's the Caribbean. Of course, it's going to be cute." Corr. get rid of comma after "Of course". Sugg. change cute or add other RO's making cute comment so it makes sense for all; only Tar calls it cute.
Tay: "Great. let's go have fun." Corr. capitalize "let's".
Option: "Give me one good reason to forgive you?" Corr. change question mark to period.
Option: "It's just a boat, Micah, Chill." Corr. lowercase "C" or change the comma after "Micah" to a period.
Micah: "You're right I don't." Corr. add comma after "right".
(Male Micah, not said by, just context, talking privately, bully) "especially after all the bullying she put you through".
"Micah takes another deep, meeting your gaze." Corr. add "breath" after "deep".
Sprite/BG/sound issues:
Danny side profile sprite with raise eyebrow missing a lot of his tattoo (unsure if same with female Danny). Have a screenshot with the textbox hidden in case I did not describe it well.
If skip after letting Cass in, BG stays as outside of apartment.
If you skip at the fire station with Cass as FwB, when the camera/scene pans, the BG goes black. Cass' sprite and the text box are still present and visible.
When skipping with Cass, Danny and Hayden, Cass' sprite ends up underneath Danny's.
Humberto's sprite seems to have a filter over it, the one of his hands in his pockets. Colors are muted. Could be the opposite problem if his jacket is supposed to be brown and not orange.
Ringing continues to play when skipping from the conversation with Micah's parent to talking to Tay on the beach.
Should have a night version of inside mansion BG for when you leave the room after RO suggests practicing kissing in the tub, since the BG has sunlight coming through unseen windows and it is dark at that point.