Friendly reminder.

You don’t know who is hiding from a stalker.

You don’t know who is in the witness protection program.

You don’t know who told their abuser they were somewhere else.

You don’t know how much damage you can do by documenting someone’s face and putting it online for anyone to see.

You can get someone killed.

I"ve been causing a little ruckus on YouTube I"m afraid

Not only does viewing abusers as a discrete type of person impact your ability to recognise when your own behaviour is hurting somebody, it also impacts your ability to recognise when someone you like and/or trust might be abusing you or someone else, intentionally or unintentionally.

Imo, abusers often aren"t TRYING to hurt their victims. They"re trying to protect them, or preserve their relationship, or they"re just upset and unaware that their outbursts are hurting the people around them. Equating abusive behaviour with malicious intent prevents you from recognising abusive behaviour in people who mean well and genuinely care.

Notably the "abusers plot etc etc" thing was an argument my verbally and emotionally abusive ex husband used for why he couldn"t possibly be abusive. He wasn"t planning anything, he was just angry at me all the time because he had decided that all the reasons he was unsatisfied with his life were my fault. Also I was fair game to lash out at because I was financially dependent on him. He was really fucjin startled when I managed to leave.

One day, I was in target with my dad. We were just picking something up for dinner or something. I forget why I was even with him.

We were on our way to the check out. We passed the lamps. I saw the cutest lamp I have ever laid eyes on. It was in the shape of a sleeping kitten and I loved it.

I squealed with delight just because I enjoyed seeing it. I pet the display on the head and said “That’s soooo cute!”

Then I started to walk away.

My dad reached over me to grab one off the shelf.

I told him I wasn’t asking for one. He said something that made me feel so loved.

“When your daughter makes a sound like that, you have to get her whatever caused it.”

I am currently no-contact with my father.

This man threatened to abandon me on multiple occasions. This man attacked my brother. This man screamed at me until I cried. This man vandalized my belongings as a form of punishment. This man threw trash at me and told me I was a miserable burden.

This man also held me and made dumb jokes all night while I cried from a toothache. This man also scowered the internet to find discontinued merch for a show I was obsessed with. This man also started his play through of Portal over from the beginning because I wanted to watch. This man also bought a thirty dollar lamp for no other reason than it made me happy.

I was loved. I was abused. These are both true statements. Dad never wanted to hurt me. He just would hurt me if it made things easier for him. He just would hurt me if it made him feel better. He just would hurt me if it solved a problem

But he never wanted to hurt me. That was never a goal.

I was loved. I was abused. And as much heartburn as I have with the memory attached to it, I still really love that lamp.

playing music in public should get strong social disapproval

Recorded music, anyway. Live music is different rules. If you want to lug an entire cello up a mountain you can do whatever the hell you want.

Carrying a speaker on a hike to make everyone listen to your bullshit, and simply sitting under a tree and playing a fiddle in the woods, are two activities so different they may as well not exist in the same world.

I think the critical difference is that the bringing of recorded music with you ties the space to Elsewhere, whereas the creation of live music with an instrument you brought both binds you to the space, and drags everyone who hears you play into it as well.

I think you"re right.

Yeah I"ll accept this into my belief system.

I think it’s the difference between passively changing the space for your own selfish comfort vs doing something in the space

Okay yeah alright

@tiredgaytheatrekid @thatonecrazysidekick @viismain @baileyboo2016 @waterspoutskies @aeghina

Same for you Faye

@aurora-boreas-borealis @musical-chan @kheprriverse @gryphonlover @crazylittlejester @sraksha @bokettochild

Ditto to you, Aeghina!

@silvercaptain24 @skyloftian-nutcase @skyward-floored @telemna-hyelle @apparitianhanako @tayashia @twinkbetweenworlds @1caru @sraksha @la-sera @ovegakart

Thank you Ketto! 😭💕🫶🏻

@la-sera @arecaceae175 @starwolfie @zarvasace @across-violet-skies

Aw so kind of you!! Let"s do this, then! :)

@vagueandominousvibes @batrogers @enrolio (you know) @hotcheetohatredwastaken @undertheopensky @skyward-floored @sraksha @pokegeek151 @seatrisa @artemistorm @seafoamgalaxy @youmixxx @gozwaocculture @localicecreambiter @deleetrix @zolanort @arecaceae175 @guardedchild and a thousand others <3

aww thanks for the tag!!

@mizaruwu @fromwindtosea @indigostardust @bluutooth @adel-memes

@moonmoonthewoof @deuynndoodles

Wasn"t tagged but I saw tgis post and therefore must spread the positivity :)

@yourlocaltreesimp @anime-obsessed @kaochisayuri @trippygalaxy @tashacee @somer-writes @gardenpatchbaby @sillystupidgayartkid @mirensiart @yliisnear @randomalienencounter @i-am-a-fish @i-am-a-snom @theecholegend @thetoyboxs @legendofmorons @chatter-crow @sunnylighter @rupeenotruby @grenapple0547 @localicecreambiter @petrllchor @crazylittlejester @mizaruwu @phantom-peachie @phantomrev @icy-watch @ezdotjpg @theshitpostcalligrapher @transit-fag @tsukinoshinjiu @spinchip @nell0-0 @sea-salt-lemon-sugar @roselock22 @calypsolemon @nyaskitten @somerandomdudelmao @covehearted @orphetoon @thatdeadaquarius @skullkidxv @cloudninetonine @inumbrapugnabimus-maybe @melinaforfun @chookoflan @asooffa @blueskittlesart @chiangyorange @teshiee

Thank you for tagging me!

Oh, man. So many people to tag. I"m just going to go thru the last day and a half of people in my activity log, bc tagging everyone? Impossible.

@mirinexo @angninjin @deadlock @leftysupremacy @arosaceae @eschercat @nacho-business1 @takibikaen @gyte098 @ogzieoggleton @user-without-a-cool-acronym @ghostscrown @acepolish @mafik-sun @weirdestarrow @differentdragonpeanutknight @agent-de-la-spl @where-is-my-beheading-ceremony @arkad322 @silvermags @localcryptid3 @lionessprince @penofwildfire @maiwashi @stellarxjewels @boundlessjoyreblogs @starsabovethesun @scatterbrainedgremlin @clockwork-krow @mostie01 @mephilesthedork @favesgrave @ultraviolet17 @starwarrior18 @band-joe @peachypop0208 @bloodyneonwolf @weepingtreegiver @bunearybunny @coconut-ice-cream-137 @theghostreblogs @louieblue223 @fantaghoul @aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaron @emperor-pavoom @pink-gladioli @one-1-lobster @sillystupidgayartkid @starrbuggie @caseyjonesisinthehouse @aggable @mostdefinitelyahumanperson @pinkninjas @mevfew @angeldrawsstuffs @waterwind4 @probablynotreallyhere

As always, there"s never any pressure to participate or do this right away. And if you"ve been tagged before, you don"t have to participate again unless you want to.

@grungekitty-77 @starsfic @vegalocity @draw-of-the-moon @lennon-cuddlywump @purble-turble

@ladytauria @ninja-go-to-therapy @thelorewriter-inator

ILY guys 🩶🩶🩶🩶

aaand I know I have never had a conversation with them, but @jeanjauthor too. You are a sanctuary of sanity on my dash sometimes. I can tell you regularly touch grass and it reminds me not to take some utter nonsense that I see too seriously.

When someone says they have a Favorite Spoon, ask them why and what they do if they cant find it.

You will find that Divergents tend to have Big Opinions on Spoons and there is a Big Difference between "favorite spoon" and "All Other Spoons are just Wrong", whereas NTs biggest reaction to not having their favorite spoon will be like *sigh* "Oh well, guess I"ll grab a different one then," and move on with their day like nothing.

Ok where did I lose you? It sounds like I lost you at “spoon”.

The point is not “Well neurodivergents have favorite spoons in different ways”

The point is that we assume things like having a favorite spoon in the first place is neurodivergence by itself.

It’s not always a spoon. Sometimes it’s mistaking normal rejection with rejection sensitivity because no one wants anyone to know getting interrupted actually hurts their feelings. Or thinking you have anxiety because only anxious people talk about hating to call their doctor, despite it being a generallly unpleasant chore for anyone. Or thinking you’re OCD for having a strong preference because most people don’t want to appear “picky” by making preferences known. Or thinking you have executive disfunction because most people don’t admit to how much procrastinating is typical for them. Or thinking you’re autistic because you’ve never heard anyone else complain about how loud a room is so it must be weird that it’s bothering you.

The point is that “normal” people are weirder than they let on.

Fun fact, most people have at least one texture sensitivity. If pressed, I have yet to find a single person that can’t give me some kind of example of something they would have to be paid to touch. Otherwise completely neurotypical people will confess that they hate the feeling of cotton balls, or orbeez, or sand, or nylon, or play dough, or tinsel, or wax paper. These are all answers I’ve gotten from, again, neurotypical people that thought it was so weird and would only admit to it after I admitted to mine. Meanwhile, many people think having a texture sensitivity is only a neurodivergent thing.

That is what Favorite Spoon Theroy is.

No but really, it’s such a different environment. I think a lot of bullies calm down because it just …doesn’t work anymore.

School the point is to give everyone an education on mass. It is a requirement that you receive this service. Teachers are paid by tax dollars to teach you. We don’t want to spend too much on that and we certainly don’t have time to waste, so the cheapest and most efficient way to do that requires you be put in a group of students so you can all be taught at the same time.

This unfortunately means, you end up legally obligated to spend time trapped in a room with the people in this group. It’s super hard to change your group on a whim, so you have to interact with these people for an extended period of time.

Work, the point is providing the service. You are paid to be there. It’s a lot easier to change things because you are the one dealing with it instead of a government funded system. Even if a transfer is denied, you can always quit! You can get a different job and there is no consequence. Hell, you can be unemployed and the truancy officers are still not coming to your door!

Furthermore, the needs of the bully don’t factor like they used to. The bully isn’t a client anymore. They are an employee. Which means they can be thrown out for making things hard. Your boss is not your teacher and has no obligation to deal with the problems you cause.

Finally, the social life of an adult is so different! Most your friends will not be your coworkers. Even if you mutually hate all your coworkers, you will still have people to invite to your birthday party.

So work bullies have lines school bullies didn’t. You can’t disrupt the work too much or you’ll lose your job. You can’t be too mean or your victim will just quit and you’ll have to start over. You can’t mess with their friends and isolate them because most of their friends are out of your reach.

It’s so much less of a power trip for them. The social influence they have means nothing when people are more focused on paying their bills than about being liked! Half of them just quit doing it, the other half live for those moments when they get a lukewarm taste of what they once had.

And it drives them crazy!