chore: (Hopefully) make jupyter_execute_request
test less flaky
#23689
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A bunch of small things, mostly around timing and making sure the jupyter kernel is actually running and ready to respond to requests. I reproduced the flakiness by running a script to run a bunch of instances of the test in parallel, where I could get failures consistently. After this PR, I can't reproduce the flakiness locally which hopefully means that applies to CI as well