I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man.
He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish
gleam in his eyes, ready to beardsplain with extreme precision.
“Actually”, he says with a grin, “Linux is just the kernel. You use
GNU Linux!’ I don’t miss a beat and reply with a smirk, “I use
Alpine, a distro that doesn’t include the GNU coreutils, or any
other GNU code. It’s Linux, but it’s not GNU Linux.”

The smile quickly drops from the man’s face. His body begins
convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a
sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams “I-IT WAS COMPILED
WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT’S STILL GNU!” Coolly, I reply “If windows
was compiled with gcc, would that make it GNU?” I interrupt his
response with “-and work is being made on the kernel to make it
more compiler-agnostic. Even you were correct, you won’t be for
long.”

With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man’s life is ejected from
his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I’ve womansplained
Mr. Stallman to death.