Que faites-vous si votre discours suscite la controverse ou des réactions négatives ?

Sometimes communication the speaker didn't intend to be destructive with becomes controversial. It might be an emotional outburst, a word of profanity, or vulgar slang expression, or spiteful criticism, but once the words leaves the speakers' mouth, they cannot be unsaid. As speakers hot mic incidents often reveal an all-too-human side that seems to counter our persona. However, as I became more experienced, I have learnt to keep my cool when the mic gets hot (through controversy or backlash!) - a skill I recommend cultivating if one wants to maximize their impact as a speaker. I have had my share of mishaps before live audiences. But I have learnt to keep calm and use open dialogue to display my authenticity as human, and professional.

Often you would know that your topic is controversial and this is much easier to prepare for. In this case preparing your audience is important. Using phrases, some people may have an emotional reaction to this topic, or some people may feel uncomfortable with what I am about to say. However, the main issue is when you say/do something that you do not expect to create a reaction. Remaining calm is paramount, if you react badly, this is all the audience will remember. This has occurred to me and I didn't handle it very well the first time, but now I simply pause, breathe out slowly and LISTEN.

It depends on the nature of the controversy. If the controversy is focused on the language that was used (inadvertently using a slur, crude or profane language), the first step must be apology, and the sooner the better. It must be honest and direct. "I'm sorry I hurt you" is a much better apology than "I'm sorry you were hurt." After apology, the speaker must show good faith efforts at reflection and self-improvement, and should remain out of the spotlight for at least a while. If the controversy is about an idea or position that's in line with company values, the best response is an invitational double-down. "We celebrate the culture of disagreement and believe we all benefit from criticism. We remain, as always, guided by our values."

Listening means we care as speakers. It gives the speaker time to fully evaluate the situation in other not to take premature steps after sparking a controversy. Imploring active-listening is a better approach, where the speaker makes a conscious effort to hear not only the words, but places importance and focus on the COMPLETE MESSAGE being communicated. Both the positive and especially the negative. I usually focus on not forming counterarguments whilst my audience is speaking. From my experience, becoming a good listener has helped me improve my productivity, and increase my ability to influence, persuade and negotiate. This has been useful in addressing conflicts and misunderstandings resulting from sparked controversy.

I find active listening an important part of engaging in a respectful dialogue. Without feeling heard it is hard for people to take in different perspectives. I aim to create space for all to be heard, and if that has not landed as intended then I would like to learn and adapt moving forward.

Perspectives may differ relating to a particular subject a speech seeks to address. This can cause misunderstanding hence seeking to clarify our intent is pivotal to resolving backlash from our speech. I remember one instance when my female audience got the impression that my message was targeted against them. This was due to an example which I introduced through story telling, but didnt sit well that subset of my audience. I had to take time and meet almost the 50 women after the event to clarify myself and reassure them of my commitment to women's developmental agenda. And showed examples of what I am doing to champion women's cause. I apologized, clarified my intent, then I openly retracted that aspect of my speech in my next invite.

Clarify, yes. But don’t be afraid to apologize if that’s the right thing to do. We each have a limited worldview and need others to teach us when we make mistakes, no matter how unintentional.

Once you have listened, clarify by asking questions or paraphrasing what has been said and asking whether I am understanding the issue. Using phrases "I hadn't considered seeing this topic in that way" or "from that perspective", sometimes the response may be "I may need to take some time to reflect on that", "I am sorry if this hurt you in any way". Validating others feelings is critical for them to feel heard and respected.

You can only engage respectfully when you respect the other person/s, this is one that is difficult to fake. You can say all the right words but if deep down you believe this person/audience is not worth your respect then no polite words will work. I have seen this at a conference where a researcher was talking about personality disorders and some of the audience was people with personality disorders and it was obvious that the researcher believed they were superior. Their words simply sounded patronising. Know who your audience is.

In my experience as a speaker, I would always engage respectfully, especially when a part of my speech has generated controversy and hence a backlash. Engaging respectfully fosters high level of attention and creativity. This approach has usually sparked more attention and calmness to share ideas. I have seen instances where very angry top-ups have relaxed and shared their concerns about what sparked the backlash and sometimes some even advice and recommend ways to help resolve them. In some situations, engaging respectfully has encouraged more reflections which generates great perspectives that leads to great solutions. Being open minded and displaying empathy also goes a long was to help resolve backlash from my speech.

This is something that is paid a lot of lip service but for most part we don’t practice what we preach. If we could always hold in mind that each person is inherently due respect as a person, regardless of status, diagnosis or any other characteristic then we have a better chance of meeting each other on a level field. Engaging respectfully often requires us to shed the learnt attitudes (often associated with ‘professional’ or other social delineations).

I personally have more difficulty when someone gives an uninformed opinion that is not based on knowledge or lived experiences. Sometimes I will simply say we need to disagree on this and sometimes I ask what is your evidence for that.

If I get any feedback or if it stirs any commotion, I look for what I could have done better. Maybe I shouldn't use a hot button issue or it is a language issue. I would check in with the organizer to get a full picture of this situation to move forward.

Been there, done that! Public speaking isn't always sunshine and roses. If your talk stirs the pot, use it as a learning experience. Here's the magic: 1. Reflect on the feedback. Was it a blind spot in your research? 2. Consider your audience. Could a tweak in delivery connect better? 3. Embrace growth! Controversy can make you a more versatile, responsive speaker. Remember, even the best gardeners encounter unexpected weeds – it's how they adapt that matters most

I think adapting can be the hardest part of the process. For many of us, it is hard to admit we may have made a mistake and moving forward can be challenging. I’ve learned to think of adapting as a way to strengthen my message and engage a wider audience. By understanding what precipitated the discussion and adjusting to it, future audiences may be more receptive. On the flip side, it is important to not always let one person dictate your presentation and discussion. Some items truly apply to a wide group, and some are just a single “one off”. It can be tricky to learn to navigate this.

When you speak on controversial topics, you need to expect backlash. However, we tackle controversial topics on a daily basis and it is always about the delivery, we take people on a journey and get them to 'experience' the topic, rather than talk about the topic. Most times the audience sees the controversy from an alternate perspective.

When your speaking sparks controversy and backlash, it's important to reflect and consider adapting but also... it's ok to change nothing. Someone can always be offended by what you say and do. If you still believe in your message and understand that your delivery isn't for everyone... it will be a lot more sustainable to continue speaking.