Comment instaurer la confiance dans les grands groupes en étant authentique et vulnérable ?

Authenticity is about self-awareness, trusting and being tuned into our own individual frame of reference that provides solid ground to evaluate our own internal process as well as distinguishing between and being in touch with the experiences of others around you. Vulnerability literally means being open to attack! In the context of LGF this refers to the willingness to be authentic, openly revealing one's thoughts, feelings and experiences. It's about letting down our guard and showing other that we are human -fallible... magnificent... and everything in between, just like everyone else.

Authenticity and vulnerability can only be expressed when there is room to allow it to breathe and grow. To understand this, is to create a space for anyone to trust their instinct, to provide genuine guidance while allowing them to grow and process.

As a leader one must set the tone for authenticity and vulnerability. These lynchpins of culture are always propagated through demonstration of action not articulation of sentiment. Recognize that how you are comfortable being vulnerable, perhaps in large groups on stage, does not to apply to others. Demonstrate, recognize how others like to be vulnerable and then create that safe space.

My journey as a coach helped me realize, Authenticity is abut alignment and Vulnerability is about being true to and open about yourself. What is common between Authenticity and Vulnerability? Foundational to both are (i) self awareness, (ii) mindfulness and (iii) courage. While self awareness is the start point, mindfulness and courage relates to the being and the doing in a state of evolution and emergence.

Authenticity is the capacity to channel our self-awareness and self-knowledge into our self-expression. It means to speak truth from the heart, with an awareness of both what we know and what we don't know. Vulnerability is our capacity to bring places that are usually more hidden to light, talking about our inner worlds from a place of inner clarity, choice, and power. Neither of these can be faked, and neither is "self-exposure".

Being authentic and showing our humanness can leave us vulnerable and those witnessing this, know that. If someone in a group is being honest or reveals something personal about themselves… and this is welcomed and acknowledged respectfully i.e nothing bad happens!, it lets people know that its ok to be genuine, inspiring and encouraging others to do the same. It gives permission to be real, and the accumulation of authentic expression reinforces people’s trust in the group environment and are more likely to be willing to be honest and open about who they are and what they stand for. This adds to the richness of the group experience and can help build a counter narrative that being authentic can lead to positive experiences.

David Whyte, poeta, autor y orador, dice: “Huir de la vulnerabilidad es huir de la esencia de nuestra naturaleza, el intento de ser invulnerables es el vano intento de ser algo que no somos y muy especialmente, cerrar nuestra comprensión del dolor de los demás. Más en serio, al rechazar nuestra vulnerabilidad, rechazamos la ayuda necesaria en cada giro de nuestra existencia e inmovilizamos los fundamentos esenciales, mareomotrices y conversacionales de nuestra identidad”. Justamente, los cuatro pilares de la confianza nos invitan a ser vulnerables: -Honestidad. -Competencia. -Confiabilidad. -Compromiso.

Trust includes; Credibility - which is authenticity, do I do what I say and say what I do? Reliability which is dependability. Intimacy is about Security & safety, Respect demonstrated through Vulnerability. By role modelling these as a facilitator or coach, it builds the relationship between you and the group / individual or team.

I love sharing from my own personal experience. I think there is great value in telling people that you’ve messed up, you’ve had a great success, or you’re worried about something big. Pausing to let participants reflect on what you are sharing is also important. Ask participants to reflect on their own experiences too.

In my experience being authentic is a constant internal clarity which shows up in how your behaviour is aligned to your intentions. Creating collective agreements and allowing others to hold you accountable to them. Being okay to share your moments of vulnerability in the space.

Firstly, you need to have a healthy measure of self-awareness and be aware of any unhelpful beliefs or narratives you hold about yourself and others that are not true. Your work to distinguish reality from fiction is likely to be an ongoing one but will help you maintain an authentic presence in the group and enable you to fulfil your facilitation role more effectively. As a facilitator, balance engagement with your own perspective and the group's, staying grounded in both. Be authentic and vulnerable, but only to the extent it doesn't hinder your presence and effectiveness. Share experiences relevant to the group's needs. You’ll know when an icebreaker is needed or when gentle encouragement is required.

Modeling vulnerability and honesty sets the right conditions for trust and authenticity to flourish. In my experience, possessing self–awareness through self–reflection/reflexivity is critical to great facilitation. One of the most important key steps for me has been developing clarity of purpose of my role as a facilitator. I ask myself: Why Am I Here? And, I practice WAIT (Why Am I Talking?). To learn how to create safe spaces for group dialogue, partnering up with a more experienced facilitator is a great method to learn how to attune to the group dynamics and flow of conversation—of knowing when to share a relevant personal story to spark honest and meaningful dialogue, versus knowing when to silently step back into deep listening.

As a facilitator, for me, authenticity emerges when I've walked my talk. If I'm sharing from a place of having actually practiced what I'm preaching, tapping into my own experiences, and connecting with both moments of success ornthe opposite. In this sense, authenticity is a creed, deeper than a practice - it's about being willing to actually engage with the concepts and contexts one is talking about, to be in a journey of ongoing learning, and to allow that to inform your work as much as the structure or principle or tool you're taling about. One balancing act to keep in mind as a facilitator is that even though I am sharing my story, the purpose is not for my story to be told - it is to offer a window for the learning of others.

Vulnerability begets more vulnerability. But first, a definition. Vulnerability does not mean sharing all the things, at all the times, with all the people. That’s called oversharing. Vulnerability is about appropriate context. Facilitators, speakers and leaders ought to go first and raise the emotional lid of the room. That makes it easier and more welcoming and accepted for others to follow. When we are vulnerable, we wear our strengths and limitations on our sleeves. The business case for this is that it’s great for teamwork. When we know one another’s strengths and limitations, we can better team together. We know who should step up, back and move to the side.

Empathy and communicating in a respectful way that is understood will be your friend in LGF. Empathy is one of the greatest gift that we human can give to one another. It lets people know they have been seen, heard, and understood. Commit to understanding things that gets in the way of you being empathic in the group setting. Get the help you need to understand any blocks to being empathic and round out your own character. If you haven't done so already, seek opportunities to be on the receiving end of a well held group experience. Take notes, write a journal and gain more understanding of lived experiences you want make available in the groups you facilitate.

Apoyar la vulnerabilidad y la autenticidad en el grupo implica mostrarlas personal y congruentemente, modelar comportamientos y abrir conversaciones profundas, enriquecedoras y colaborativas. Poner los temas necesarios sobre la mesa, escuchar la diversidad y favorecer la inclusión también será favorecer la seguridad psicológica en la que cada uno de los colaboradores pueda aparecer cómoda y seguramente desde su ser auténtico.

Trust is built over time. You can build the safest space and some people still won’t feel safe to contribute. We have to take into account trauma and previous experiences of leadership betrayal. Acknowledging that our systems have been corrupted and some leaders are not trust worthy is the first step to trust. Own the truth. The second step is to expand on the concept of trust between individuals vs psychological safety as a group. When I work with leadership teams I invite courage not safety. It’s not safe to speak the truth but are you willing to be unsafe and uncomfortable for the sake of our collective connection and better outcome for all?!

The meta skills a facilitator or coach need are; Presence and Use of Self. Tapping into your presence of the other and Using yourself as an Instrument for sensing about yourself in the moment. This clarity would enable a Facilitator or a Coach to be and to create Authenticity and Vulnerability in the group.

Start off small and build upon your craft. One person plus yourself is still a group! As a group gets larger, so does its potential for intensity and richness. Things tend to be amplified when groups of people come together. Your job is to welcome each member, set the tone and provide the structure so that your coming together is harnessed in service to whole point of the gathering in the first place. Ritual, or repeated practices or processes, serve to bring and hold people in their togetherness. Ritual is an age old practice and is an essential element to community building. A known structure, practised over time, becomes familiar and helps to create an environment of creative possibility.

In a way, authenticity and vulnerability make you more human, reducing the psychological distance between you and your participants. An important piece to remember is that while you are all human and your vulnerability and authenticity are beautiful, and add value to the lives of those you're reaching, you still have a role to play. This is about clarity of roles and boundaries that come with that.

La vulnerabilidad es la exposición emocional. No necesitan ser expresiones grandilocuentes o llamativas, como gritar de rabia , llorar o maltratar. Por el contrario, los líderes vulnerables son conscientes de su propia emocionalidad y desde ella captan el flujo emocional del entorno organizacional. Brené Brown cambió la visión de la vulnerabilidad - antes considerada indeseable y vergonzosa - a partir de su Charla TED de 2010 (58 millones de visitas), al relacionarla con la compasión, la conexión y la alegría.