Bill Nye's Comic History of England

by Edgar Wilson "Bill" Nye

For works with similar titles, see Comic History of England.

 

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Bill Nye's

 

Comic History of England

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HEREIN WILL BE FOUND A RECITAL OF THE MANY EVENTFUL EVENTS WHICH TRANSPIRED IN ENGLAND FROM THE DRUIDS TO HENRY VIII. THE AUTHOR DOES NOT FEEL IT INCUMBENT ON HIM TO PRESERVE MORE THAN THE DATES AND FACTS, AND THESE ARE CORRECT. BUT THE LIGHTS AND SHADES OF THE VARIOUS PICTURES AND THE ORNAMENTAL WORDS FURNISHED TO ADORN THE CHARACTERS AND EVENTS ARE THE SOLE INVENTION OF THIS HISTORIAN.

 

King Richard traveling incog, through Germany.

ILLUSTRATED BY

W. W. GOODES & A. M. RICHARDS

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Thompson & Thomas
Chicago, Ill.

 

 

Copyright 1896
by
J. B. Lippincott Company

 

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Copyright 1906
by
Thompson & Thomas

 

PREFACE.

 

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THE readers of this volume will share our regret that the preface cannot be written by Mr. Nye, who would have introduced his volume with a characteristically appropriate and humorous foreword in perfect harmony with the succeeding narrative.

We need only say that this work is in the author's best vein, and will prove not only amusing, but instructive as well; for the events, successions, dates, etc., are correct, and the trend of actual facts is adhered to. Of course, these facts are "embellished," as Mr. Nye would say, by his fancy, and the leading historical characters are made to play in fantastic roles. Underneath all, however, a shrewd knowledge of human nature is betrayed, which unmasks motives and reveals the true inwardness of men and events with a humorous fidelity.

The unfortunate illness to which Mr. Nye finally succumbed prevented the completion of his history beyond the marriage of Henry VIII. to Anne Boleyn.

 

TABLE OF CONTENTS.

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CHAPTER I.
	PAGE
Invasion of Cæsar: The Discovery of Tin and Consequent Enlightenment of Britain	13
CHAPTER II.
The Various Roman Yokes: their Growth, Degeneration, and Final Elimination	23
CHAPTER III.
The Advent of the Angles: Causes which led to the Rehabilitation of Britain on New Lines	32
CHAPTER IV.
The Influx of the Danes: Facts showing conclusively their Influence on the Briton of To-Day	42
CHAPTER V.
The Troublous Middle Ages: Demonstrating a Short Reign for Those who travel at a Royal Gait	50
CHAPTER VI.
The Danish Oligarchy: Disaffections attending Chronic Usurpation Proclivities	59
CHAPTER VII.
Other Disagreeable Claimants: Foreign Foibles introduced, only to be expunged with characteristic Pugnacity	68
CHAPTER VIII.
The Norman Conquest: Complex Commingling of Facetious Accord and Implacable Discord	80
CHAPTER IX.
The Feudal System: Successful Inauguration of Homogeneal Methods for restricting Incompatible Demagogues	91
CHAPTER X.
The Age of Chivalry: Light Dissertation on the Knights-Errant, Maids, Fools, Prelates, and other Notorious Characters of that Period	99
CHAPTER XI.
Conquest of Ireland: Uncomfortable Effects following the Cultivation of an Acquisitorial Propensity	113
CHAPTER XII.
Magna Charta introduced: Slight Difficulties encountered in overcoming an Unpopular and Unreasonable Prejudice	123
CHAPTER XIII.
Further Disagreements recorded: Illustrating the Amiability of the Jew and the Perversity of the Scot	133
CHAPTER XIV.
Irritability of the French: Interminable Dissension, assisted by the Plague, continues reducing the Population	141
CHAPTER XV.
More Sanguinary Triumphs: Onward March of Civilization Graphically delineated with the Historian's Usual Completeness	152
CHAPTER XVI.
Unpleasant Caprices of Royalty: Introduction of Printing as a Subsidiary Aid in the Progress of Emancipation	165
CHAPTER XVII.
Biography of Richard III.: Being an Allegorical Panegyric of the Incontrovertible Machinations of an Egotistical Usurper	174
CHAPTER XVIII.
Disorder Still the Popular Fad: General Admixture of Pretenders, Religion, Politics, and Disgruntled Monarchs	182
Appendix	195

 

LANDING OF THE ROMANS 54 B.C.