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Looney Tunes: Back in Action

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Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003) is a feature-length Looney Tunes adventure combining live action and animation about a hapless stuntman, aided (and confounded) by his animated Hollywood friends Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck and a studio executive, who stumble across a plot to possess a mysterious blue diamond in the course of rescuing his famous actor father.

Directed by Joe Dante. Written by Larry Doyle.
Real life has never been so animated.taglines

Dialogue

[first lines]
[in the opening cartoon sequence, we see a series of "Rabbit Season" signs all over the forest, as Elmer Fudd sneaks towards Bugs Bunny's rabbit hole]
Elmer Fudd: [to the audience] Shhh. Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits. Baa!
[the camera zooms over to Daffy Duck putting a "Rabbit Season" sign on a tree, as Bugs Bunny helps him out]
Daffy Duck: I am a duck bent on self-preservationum.
Daffy Duck: Hold everything. [looking over the script] "Daffy gets blasted." Mm-hmm. Page 7: "Daffy gets blasted." Uh-huh. Page 8: "Daffy gets blasted again!" What's the matter with you people? We can't do this kind of stuff anymore. Brothers Warner, show biz legends like me shouldn't have to play stooge… to that long-eared, carrot-chomping, overbite-challenged--
Bugs Bunny: What's up, doc?
Daffy Duck: [to Kate] Some grip, lady.
Kate Houghton: [to D.J.] I need you to eject this duck immediately.
D.J. Drake: Lady, this is Daffy Duck.
Kate Houghton: Exactly. Not anymore. We already owned the name.
Daffy Duck: [to Kate] Oh, yeah?! Well, you can't stop me from calling myself D... [gasps] D... [gasps again] Well, what do you know?
D.J. Drake: [to Kate] You fired Daffy Duck?
Kate Houghton: No, I didn't. I did... I mean... They did.
D.J. Drake: [indicating Daffy in hand] Miss Houghton!
[as a result of the Batmobile crashing into the Warner Bros. studio water tower, it starts to overturn in front of D.J., Kate, Bugs, and Daffy]
Camera crew: Get out of the way! Watch out!
[the water tower overturns, dousing Kate and Bugs and their car in water]
Bugs Bunny: Well, what do you know? I've found Nemo.
Daffy: [to DJ, about Kate] I think she likes you.
Kate Houghton: [turns around, and looks at D.J. and Daffy with an angry look on her face]
D.J. Drake: Oops!
[cut to a close-up view of D.J.'s right arm, as a security guard's hand rips the Warner Bros. Studios badge off of D.J.'s right sleeve, then cut to the security guard and the security guard employees looking at D.J.]
Security Guard: [to D.J.] Your father would be so ashamed of you!
D.J. Drake: But I was... it was...
[the main gate shuts tight behind D.J. as he walks away]
[Porky Pig and Speedy Gonzales chat and have lunch in the cafeteria]
Porky Pig: [to Speedy] Eh, at f-first they tell me to lose the stutter. And now, they tell me I'm not funny anymore! [sighs] It's a pain in the butt, being p-p-p-politically correct.
Speedy Gonzales: You're telling me.
[pan over to Shaggy and Scooby-Doo sitting across a table from Matthew Lillard, who portrayed Shaggy in the live-action adaptation; Shaggy is chastizing Lillard for his performance]
Shaggy: What kind of performance do you call that?! You made me sound like a total space cadet, man!
Matthew Lillard: I'm sorry you feel that way. I was just trying to be real to your character.
Shaggy: If you, like, goof on me in the sequel, I'm coming after you!
Scooby-Doo: Yeah! And I'll give you a Scooby Sna-AAAAAARRRRLLL!
[both Shaggy and Lillard become surprised by Scooby's snarl; pan over to Kate and Bugs discussing an upcoming Bugs Bunny film]
Kate Houghton: [to Bugs] There are a few areas of the script I think we need to address. There's no heart, no cooperation, nobody learns anything...
Bugs Bunny: [as Sam Sheepdog and Ralph Wolf both enter the cafeteria, and then sit down at a nearby table] Daffy learns not to stick his head in a jet engine.
Kate Houghton: He's gone.
Bugs Bunny: No, Daffy always comes back. I just tell him how much I need him. We hug, we cry, I drop somethin' heavy on him, I laugh.
Kate Houghton: The duck is history, okay?! [calms down, as Ralph attempts to eat a sheep with a fork, but Sam stops him] So, the question is, how can we help you reposition your brand identity? Answer, we'll team you up with a hot female co-star.
Bugs Bunny: Usually, [spins around and dresses up in a woman's dress, wig, and makeup, and then speaks in a falsetto voice] I play the female love interest.
[at a nearby table, Michigan J. Frog sees Bugs in drag, and then attracts her with his singing and dancing]
Michigan J. Frog: [to Bugs, singing] Hello, my baby. Hello, my honey. Hello, my ragtime gal.
Kate Houghton: [to Bugs, as Michigan continues singing] Okay, about the cross-dressing thing. In the past, funny. Today, disturbing.
[Michigan stops singing and dancing, as the construction worker that tries to capitalize on him arrives with his box; Michigan hops into his box, and the construction worker then closes it]
Bugs Bunny: [as he takes off the dress, and the wig whilst the construction worker walks off with Michigan's box] Listen, lady, if you don't find a rabbit wearing lipstick amusing, you and I have nothin' to say to each other.
Kate Houghton: [gets serious] Look, I'm trying to be nice, but I was brought in to leverage your synergy! And I'm not going to let you, or some wacky duck...
Bugs Bunny: [wipes the makeup off his face] Daffy.
Kate Houghton: Wacky, daffy, nutty, fruit cake, crispy over rice, it doesn't matter!
Bugs Bunny: Well, these matter. [gets out his eight Award statuettes from underneath the table, and then puts them on the top of the table] And this. [gets out his Hollywood Walk of Fame tile with his name on it from underneath the table, and then puts it on the top of the table next to the Award statuettes] And they say we get Daffy back. [to his Award statuettes] Right, boys?
Bugs's Award statuettes: [in unison] We want Daffy! We want Daffy! Bring him Back! We love Daffy!
[a very disappointed Kate receives a smile from Bugs]
D.J. Drake: [to Granny] Hey, Granny. [to Tweety] Hi, Tweety.
Tweety: How was work today?
D.J. Drake: Eventful.
Granny: [about D.J.] What a nice young man.
Sylvester: [yowling in pain] MEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!
D.J. Drake: Hello?
Damian Drake: Son?
D.J. Drake: Dad? What are you doing in the painting?
Damian Drake: I wanted you to keep out of this, but there's nobody I can trust.
Bugs Bunny: [coughing and groaning while all bandaged up from Elmer's gunshot] Oh! Oh pain! Oh agony!
[Kate sighs with an embarrassed smile as the Warner Bros. look at her calming but in disgust]
Mr. Warner's Brother: You're fired.
[Kate in disbelief and horror while trying to explain]
Mr. Warner: You got rid of our best duck.
Kate Houghton: What?! You can't fire me! My films have made 950 million dollars!
Mr. Warner: That's not a billion.
Mr. Warner's Brother: Nope. Not a billion.
Kate Houghton: Okay, I think we can all agree that the decision of firing the duck was a bad one. But it's time to move on. And by move on, I mean reverse course and get Daffy back.
Warner Brothers: By Monday.
Kate Houghton: I'll have Daffy back on Monday.
Bugs Bunny: [while playing dead]: Doesn’t anyone knock anymore?
Kate Houghton: [aggravated]: Why are you torturing me? What have I ever done that… [before she can say anything, she sees posters of Damien Drake and a picture of both him and his son, D.J., in front of the Warner Bros. Studio and she quickly gets her answer] Great. I just fired the son of our biggest star. This has been a career making day, Kate. First you get rid of the Duck that everybody hates, but then, of course, they all want him back. [Bugs appears in a knight’s armor with a sly, arrogant and narrow look and smiles upon her confession of her wrongdoings and saying that he was right from the start about the bad decision she made and should’ve kept Daffy before she begins to tears up] And worst of all, you get into a big fight with Bugs Bunny… [these words soon cause Bugs to lose his mischievousness and turns surprise and wonders with thought] who you revere, and who you've tried to model your life after.
[her words were finally enough to make Bugs' eyes turn all puppy like and begins to tear up as he rises out of the armor as one of his tears roll down one of his whiskers]
Bugs: [finally unable to bear it any longer] Oh, I hate to see a grown man cry! [acts sarcastic to audience] Especially when it's a girl.
Bugs Bunny: You’ve got no music in your soul, sister.
Kate Houghton: I am aware of that, yes.
Bugs Bunny: He sure went for all the extras. What a maroon.
Kate Houghton: Don't touch anything. This is Damien Drake's car…
[before she could finish, Bugs presses a button with a bomb, causing a missile to launch out of the rear and blows up around a valley area]
[D.J. and Daffy Duck drive to Las Vegas]
Daffy Duck: Here's our plan. We'll go find the Blue Monkey Diamond, and your father, get our jobs back, and make history. That's our plan in a nutshell. If you do anything stupid, like cracking wise, and smooching dames, you better leave that to me. But if we want any security guarding needs...
D.J. Drake: Very funny, duck! I'm not a security guard! For your information, it's just a job. It's what I do for money.
Daffy Duck: Mm-hmm.
D.J. Drake: What I really do is...I'm...I'm a... I'm a stuntman.
Daffy Duck: Hah! You, a stuntman? Please!
D.J. Drake: I am! Did you see those Mummy movies? I'm in them more than Brendan Fraser is. [Daffy rolls his eyes, complete with cartoon sound effect] Oh, no, you couldn't stand that! One day, he decides to say, "No-no-no! The Bren-Master does all his own stunts"!
Daffy Duck: Let me do all the stunts.
[we see the first view of the ACME boardroom and its members]
ACME Chairman: This is unacceptable! We cannot have nine-year-olds working in sweatshops making ACME sneakers, not when three-year-olds work for so much less! [the VPs jump for their buzzers; VP Child Labor hits his first; The Chairman points to him] Yes?
VP Child Labor: But, sir, they require naps.
ACME Chairman: Put double espresso in their sippy cups!
ACME Chairman: We can't let the good guys win this time, people!
[at the Wooden Nickel, diva Dusty Tails changes while she talks about her career]
Dusty Tails: I also work for the Agency. Professional assassin. It's really hard for me to juggle the two sometimes. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I have kids! [comes out wearing a shiny black leather catsuit] Do you know how hard it is to find a nanny with advanced weapons training?
Daffy Duck: [gives a wolf-whistle then his usual whoo hoo] How many galoshes died to make that little number?
[D.J. tries to take the Mona Lisa Queen of Diamonds playing card from Dusty, who instead slips it inside her outfit]
Dusty Tails: That is so sweet! You, trying to take over for your father. These evil forces, they're bad people!
Daffy Duck: Relax, sister! I don't know the meaning of the word "fear"! [opens the door and finds himself facing a lit cannon with Yosemite Sam and his henchmen]
Yosemite Sam: Say your prayers, Duck!
Daffy Duck: "Fear: Noun. A state of terror". AAH!
[Yosemite Sam chases D.J. and Daffy through the Wooden Nickel casino, guns a-blazin']
Yosemite Sam: Come back here, ya card-carryin' cuy-ote! [and slips on a banana peel] Yikes! Ooooh! Dad-burned slapstick cliché!
Foghorn Leghorn: [to D.J.] Card, sir?
D.J. Drake: Hit me.
Foghorn Leghorn: Don't-I say, don't 'cha wanna look at your cards first, son? Boy's 'bout as sharp as a bowlin' ball.
Yosemite Sam: Hit me.
Foghorn Leghorn: We have-I say, we have a winner!
[Daffy and D.J. finally escape the Wooden Nickel]
Daffy Duck: I say we do Cirque de Soleil and call it a night. [D.J. makes a mad dash for his car] How 'bout the Liberace Museum? All right. Let's see what this baby can really do. [suddenly the car sputters and turns to pieces from all the long driving] Now that's an interesting feature.
Yosemite Sam: [to Jeff Gordon, who is dressed up in his racecar driver uniform] Outta my way, fancy boy! I'm-a commandeerin' this here clown car!
[Kate and Bugs drive through the streets of Las Vegas, looking for Daffy]
Kate Houghton: There's gotta be 314 hotels and 142 casinos in Las Vegas! We are never gonna find that duck.
[suddenly, Daffy runs into the street and is promptly plastered onto the windshield; Kate gasps and Bugs laughs]
Bugs Bunny: Hee-hee. Daff never misses a cue. [D.J. arrives, peels off Daffy, and tosses him into the back seat, upside down, next to Bugs] Eh, what's up, Duck?
Daffy Duck: Don't you start with me.
[D.J. notices Kate in the driver's seat of the car]
D.J. Drake: You!
Kate Houghton: You!
Daffy Duck: [to Bugs] You!
Bugs Bunny: Him?
Daffy Duck: Her!
Bugs and Daffy: [in unison] Them!
Yosemite Sam: [driving fast]: Out of my way! [He crashes through a clothing stand, and then he and his henchmen are seen wearing clothes from the stand crash] Dagnabbit!
[driving alongside the good guys, Nasty Canasta lights a stick of dynamite to throw into their car]
Kate Houghton: Dynamite?! Who has dynamite?!
Daffy Duck: [scoffs] Welcome to my world.
[the good guys take off, leaving the bad guys with the lit dynamite]
Yosemite Sam: Throw it out the window! Throw it out! Throw it out!
Nasty Canasta: But innocent people could get hurt.
Yosemite Sam: Throw it out the window! Throw it out! Throw it out!
Cottontail Smith: But it'll send the wrong message to children!
Yosemite Sam: I said, "Throw it out the... Oooh! Gimme the- [dynamite explodes in front of them] Ooh!
[D.J., Kate, Bugs, and Daffy approach a dead end]
Bugs Bunny: Eh, just a suggestion, but all those in favor of not hittin' that wall, say "aye".
D.J. and Kate: [in unison] AYE!
Daffy Duck: Mother!
Spy car computer: Taking you to Mother!
[the car takes to the sky before it can hit the wall]
[just before the heroes' flying car crashes, it stops a few feet above the desert ground]
Bugs Bunny: Ha. Outta gas.
[fade to black]
Kate Houghton: What?! It doesn't work like that!
[cut back to car, which smashes into the ground]
Bugs Bunny: Thanks, Toots.
[in the desert, D.J. spots a Wal-Mart store, rippling in the heat]
D.J. Drake: Hey, look at that!
Bugs Bunny: Is it a mirage, or just product placement?
Daffy Duck: Who cares? With shopping convenience at such low prices! [runs toward the image] Water! Fresca! Mountain Dew! Your product name here! Woo-hoo-hoo!
D.J. Drake: [to Kate] Is this your idea?
Kate Houghton: [opens her mouth to object, then gets defensive] The audience expects it. They don't even notice this kind of thing anymore.
[D.J. shares his disappointed look with the audience; later, the intrepid adventurers depart the desert Wal-Mart with beverages and new clothes]
Bugs Bunny: Nice of Wal-Mart to provide these Wal-Mart beverages in retoin for us saying "Wal-Mart" so many times.
[Wile E. Coyote observes the heroes trudging through the desert]
Bugs Bunny: I told ya we shoulda made that left toin at Albuqwirky.
Daffy Duck: Don't start that again!
Daffy Duck: Except for the water tower, the Batmobile, and the pile of rubble formerly known as Las Vegas.
D.J. Drake: There's no one as rich or famous as my father who just disappears into thin air.
[he continues walking, and suddenly vanishes into the Area 52 force field door]
ACME Chairman: [to a miserable Wile E. Coyote] Oh, my God! Young man, what am I going to do with you?! You've done nothing but screw up! You've walked off mesas! You've been smashed by boulders! You've been run over by diesel trucks! And don't blame the equipment! The equipment is good; it's ACME equipment. You're a coyote! Be wile! [calms down] All right, now... buck up and let's see a little smile. [Wile E. smiles, briefly and unenthusiastically] Little bigger. [Wile E. gives a bigger one, this time holding it] Little bigger. [Wile E.'s smile spreads to a disproportionate size] Oh, that's nice. Now, just go take a shower, and don't come back until you smell better! [Wile E., now cheered up, heads upstairs] But be careful! There's some men moving a safe up there, and I don't want you to- [a cartoonish jet-engine, followed by a "crash" sound, is heard] And be careful of the box of fireworks, because- [released fireworks are heard] I suppose I should mention the plate-glass window- [shattering glass is heard] Oh, It's tough being the boss.
[inside the Area 52 lab, chief spy-scientist Mother talks to the good guys, including D.J., et al.]
Mother: This isn't about the giant ants, is it?
Kate Houghton: Giant... ants?
Mother: 'Cause they're not really ants... anymore. [drinks from a flask of blue liquid]
D.J. Drake: Tell me about the Blue Monkey Diamond.
Mother: [spews her beverage on D.J.] How do you know about that thing that I've never heard of in my entire life?
D.J. Drake: My dad told me.
Mother: [pauses] What is the point of making them pinky-swear?!
[Marvin the Martian releases aliens from various classic films and TV shows in Area 52]
Daffy Duck: Yikes! Illegal aliens!
Dalek: Exterminate them!
Mother: Darn! I knew this day would come...
[she goes to an alarm labelled "PUSH ONLY IN CASE THIS DAY COMES" and triggers it]
[at the Louvre, as Daffy grabs the playing-card lens, Elmer Fudd jams his shotgun into the back of Daffy's head]
Elmer Fudd: I'll take that!
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what gives, Doc? We made thoity-five pictures together.
Elmer Fudd: Well, as it tuwns out, I'm secwetwy evil.
Daffy Duck: [snorts] That's showbiz for ya.
Elmer Fudd: Now, make with the card, so I can pwease my dark masters!
[Bugs and Daffy enter the Persistence of Memory painting to evade Elmer Fudd; Elmer follows, enters the picture, and takes aim, until his gun melts, remaining true to the theme of the painting. Bugs and Daffy laugh at them, and run off, but, they, too, start melting; their voices are slow and toned to a low key]
Daffy Duck: Well, this is surreal.
Elmer Fudd: [producing icons that represent each word he says] Stop, or I'll fire! [attempts to take aim again]
Bugs and Daffy: [in unison] Yipe!
[Elmer fires, but the bullets are only propelled a few inches away by Elmer's side; Elmer starts to melt completely out of shape; Bugs and Daffy make their way to the next painting through the wallpaper]
D.J. Drake: There's a man there! He's got a woman! She's tied up in a burlap sack and he's taking her to the Eiffel Tower!
Pepe Le Pew: Ah, eet eez Spring, eez eet not?
[after Daffy and Bugs jump out of the painting, Elmer Fudd leaps out of La Grande Jatte (by pointillist Georges Seurat) at last, but he remains in painting form; Bugs reads from a museum guide]
Bugs Bunny: Pointillism. A technique using individual dots of pigment, which, taken together... [whips out a pocket electric fan] ...make an image. [turns on the fan]
Elmer and Ralph: [in unison] Aw, crud! [Elmer's dots start to disperse, until only his shoes are left]
Bugs Bunny: [to the audience] I think, when you go to the movies, you should learn somethin'.
[Daffy is busy redrawing himself]
[as Granny's elephant progresses through the jungle, a flock of multicolored Tweety birds fly around]
Tweety: I've discovered my woots!
Sylvester: I've discovered my lunch!
[the birds attack Sylvester]
Tweety: [in his African garb] Cry freedom!
[from behind, we see the elephant come upon a picturesque lost city in the jungle]
Daffy Duck: What a fantastic view!
Bugs Bunny: Unless you're in the audience, in which case you've been staring at an elephant's behind for thoity seconds.
ACME Chairman: Now, this, my friend, is the ACME Train of Death, which is not good news for your father.
Damian Drake: Don't worry about me, son. I've gotten out of worse scrapes than this one.
[Wile E. Coyote lights several sticks of dynamite around Damian]
ACME Chairman: You see, if the Train of Death doesn't kill him, then those crates of TNT will. Not to mention the 2-ton anvil hanging over his head. And- [sees a giant bladed pendulum swinging over Damian] Oh, look. There's the Pendulum of Doom. What's the Pendulum of Doom doing there?! I did not order the Pendulum of Doom! It's overkill! Get rid of it!
[Wile E. sheepishly pulls up the Pendulum of Doom]
[outside the ACME satellite, Marvin the Martian (who Bugs and Daffy previously almost got rid of) holds an ACME Bubble Gun on Bugs]
Marvin the Martian: You tricked me!
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up, Darth?
Marvin the Martian: Now I must incapacitate you with my bubble gun. [shoots once]
Bugs Bunny: Aww, ain't that cu- [touches bubble, which bursts, sending him flying back] Yikes! [he lands on the satellite] Of course, you realize this means war. [draws a plasma sword akin to a lightsaber from Star Wars to fight Marvin]
[while Bugs fights Marvin outside a spaceship, Daffy cowers inside, sucking his thumb]
Daffy Duck: What am I gonna do? What would Damian Drake do? What would Duck Dodgers do? [pause in realization] Wait a minute, I am Duck Dodgers! [spins and changes into his Duck Dodgers outfit] Yes! I'm going to be the hero of this picture! [straps on a rocket] Duck Dodgers to the rescue! [the rocket explodes; he straps on a second rocket; dazed] Duck Dodgers to the- [another explosion; he straps on a third; dazed] Duck Dodgers- [yet another explosion; angrily glares at a fourth rocket] Duck. [yet another explosion; straps on the last rocket and appears undamaged] A-ha! It's You-Know-Who to the rescue! [to the camera] It helps if ya don't say the name.
Marvin the Martin: Thwarting evil makes me so angry.
[Marvin aims at Bugs again until the bubbles holding him pops; he tries to shoot Bugs again, but the rabbit sticks his index finger inside his gum gun, clogging it, and seals the Martian in his own bubble, and then flicks it away, causing the Martin to float away]
Bugs Bunny: Well, that takes care of that. [quickly on cue after he said it, he is grabbed by the claw] Yipe!
ACME Chairman: [coming out] Are you all monkeys yet? [sees one of the laser beams that shot out of Daffy's nose coming right at him] Uh-oh! [the beam heads straight towards him, and then suddenly disappears in a flash of the beam]
[D.J., Kate, and Damian arrive to see a monkey with glasses, revealing to be the ACME Chairman in monkey form, next to Mary, who is sobbing]
Damian Drake: Checkmate, Mr. Chairman. [holding up tiny handcuffs the size of monkey hands] You're going down. [crouches down in front of monkey Chairman and starts putting the handcuffs on his wrists]
[last lines before the End Credits]
[Bugs walks to the car]
Bugs's Butler: Bugs is here. Gotta go.
Bugs Bunny: [to Daffy] Daffy, you're right.
Ryan: [to Bugs] The usual place, Mr. Bunny?
Bugs Bunny: Very good, Ryan.
Bugs Bunny: [to Daffy, as Gruesome Gorilla, Egghead, the Squirrel (from Much Ado About Nutting), and the other Looney Tunes characters and Merrie Melodies characters give him some carrots] From now on, you and I are going to be equal partners in this thing. No more second banana for you.
Daffy Duck: Well, thanks, pal. I really appreciate this. [the car drives away from him] At last, my star is rising. All my hopes and aspirations... [a giant light appears falling into the floor] Well, what do you know? My luck is changing already.
[a giant metal circle landed on Daffy; finally, Porky pops out]
Director: Goodnight, Porky. See you tomorrow.
Porky Pig: [to the audience] Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th... Go home, folks.
[the lights went out]

Taglines

  • Real life has never been so animated.
  • How do they solve a mystery when they don't have a clue?
  • The biggest animated adventure ever to hit real life.
  • That sounds really boring.

Cast

Live-Action Characters

Character Voices

Wikipedia
Wikipedia
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