User:Darwinbish
Be afraid
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This user is an alternative account of User:Bishapod, and is the evil twin of the gormless good User:Darwinfish.
Pet names
- Pet name, per user:Tex, is Little Ankle Biter.
- Another pet name, from User:Elen off her Rocker: Psychofish.[1] Good one!
- Jaws. I invented that one myself. Hope to become widely known by it!
- Bish the Knife. Suggested, some ways off, by User:Ched.[2][3]
Animations
The sweet little twins play a harmless game: 
Little Ankle Biter learns to smoke stogies: 
Darwinbish studies the article Cheroot, educating herself. "The term stogie is often misused to refer to any cigar with a foul stench." Aha, excellent! Good word! Foul stench scare off all silly visitors! Come smell my stogie, Fish ! darwinbish BITE 21:08, 8 June 2011 (UTC).
Sigs
I made myself a fine alternative sig per Big Tex, look, haha: little ankle biter
Templates
Liberate your evil side! All are welcome to use my templates, teach people a lesson. The templates must be substed or some of them won't work right.
Anti-wikilove templates
Too much wikilove in this place. These are for posting on people who have received cookies or kittens.
{{subst:User:Darwinbish/looting}} expands to:
[Breathing out a light spray of {{cookie}} crumbs as she speaks :] A friend has stolen your cookie! The cookie made her happy and she'd like to give you a great big hug for leaving it where she could reach it. Spread the WikiLove by giving her more {{cookie}}s, unless you want her boys to pay you a visit!
{{subst:User:Darwinbish/teeth}} expands to:
A friend has taught your Virtual Wikikitten to bite you shrewdly on the ass. Hopefully that has made your day better. Kittens are cute and have very sharp teeth! Spread the goodness of kittens by giving someone else a bitey kitten, whether it be someone you have had disagreements with in the past or a good friend.
Fish-hitting template
{{subst:User:Darwinbish/Stockfish}} expands to:
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Krunch! Wham! Biff! Urkkk! You're way beyond getting whacked with a wet trout. A friend has walloped you with a rack of dried stockfish. Better take this seriously. She wants you to know she'll send her boys next time. |
NPA template
{{subst:User:Darwinbish/insultspout}} expands to:
Don't call names, you beslubbering bat-fowling minnow!
You have been noticed using opprobrious epithets. It's payback time from the Shakespeare Insult Generator! To activate the Insultspout and receive fresh insults, click here. Note that all insults generated by the Spout are guaranteed literary and cultured, unlike the nasty things you said, you errant hedge-born minnow.
(Note: always post this template near top of delinquent's page for the "receive fresh insults" functionality to work well.)
IP warning template
A warning of what might happen to slimeballs who log out in order to attack others.
{{subst:User:Darwinbish/anonymouscoward}} expands to
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You have been observed posting rampant assholery while logged out, presumably in order to avoid sanctions to your account. See the hungry Grizzly tipping up stones looking for woodlice? Better desist before she finds you.
Scary portraits of me
Poetic tributes to me
Lotte Lenya song
Don't blame me, I'm just following orders on user page.
[sings like Pirate Jenny:]
Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And he shows 'em, pearly white
Just a jack knife has DeeBee, dear
And he keeps it, er, out of sight
When that shark bites with his teeth, dear
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves, oh, wears DeeBee, dear
So there's never, never a trace of red
On the sidewalk, on Sunday mornin'
Lies a body, oozin' life
Someone's sneaking 'round the corner
Could that someone be Bish the Knife?
--T-RexxS (Rawr) 19:28, 19 August 2012 (UTC) --
- There once was a fish named Bish,
- who had a wonderful wish...
- for lack of a fin,
- the teeth grew in,
- now ankles fill the dish.
--
Haiku
with apologies to Bashō:
Flog leaps in old pond
Sounds of teeth; frog sound no more
Darwinbish is full
--
Sonnet
With apologies to whomever your preferred SA is:
Poor Bish, the centre of the sinful earth,
Bite hard these rebel powers that thee array;
Why dost thou chomp so much yet suffer dearth,
Painting thy dorsal fin so costly gray?
Why so much rage, having so short a fuse,
Dost thou upon thy feeble brother spend?
Shall worms, awaken'd from their snooze,
Eat up thy bro? is this his body's end?
Then Bish, bite thou upon thy brother's butt,
Get Lil' Stupid to stock up thy store;
Get filthy rich by selling tons of smut;
Then thou art fed, and shalt be poor no more:
So shalt thou feed on Death, that feeds on fish,
And Death once dead, there's just Darwinbish.
You call'em; we fill 'em. --Famously Sharp (talk) 01:19, 23 August 2012 (UTC)