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Just a few points that sprang to mind while going over it:
The lead doesn't give the impression that the aim of the police raid was apprehending McCrudden – it looks like it was only drugs related
surveillance in October 1997: any idea how long it was in place?
"at approximately 0430": shouldn't that be 04:30?
The suspension of the officers: as far as I'm aware, it's standard procedure to suspend firearms officers if they have been involved in a shooting: it may be worth adding a line about that.
It may be worth a line or two about how a second inquiry came about. Who made the decision and why sort of thing.
"The police admitted false imprisonment negligence in relation to the planning" needs a bit of a tweak to make sense
Move the drugs tip-off info into the prelude? It would seem to make more sense to have that all in the build up
Mention that there were six flats – it reads as if the three of them alone shared the building, rather than other tenants
You repeat the positions and first names of 'Sussex's chief constable, Paul Whitehouse, his deputy, Mark Jordan' a few times, which can be trimmed
Overall I think this covers all the main points I would hope to see, with only the details above that point to anything missing (I know nothing about the case, and so my impression is only based on what I've read here). It's an interesting one overall and nicely pulled together. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 22:34, 6 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Not all of these need to be covered for GA, (which this is broadly at already) but these may help for any next steps
Lead
"Armed officers had been sent to raid the flat based on reports that Ashley kept a firearm and a quantity of cocaine there, and to arrest Ashley and another man in connection with a stabbing, but no firearm or significant quantity of drugs was found, the other man was not present, and it later emerged that Ashley was not implicated in the stabbing." This is a bit of a monster sentence! Full stop after "connection with a stabbing" and restart? The second Ashley (in "and to arrest Ashley") can be "him" too
"House of Lords (the United Kingdom's highest court)" -> "House of Lords (then the United Kingdom's highest court)," as some smartarse like me will ask about the Supreme Court without realising the dates concerned.
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
All information is cited to reliable and appropriate sources
That's fair enough. The rest looks good enough for GA. I hope it does well at FAC, and doesn't attract the attention of at least one of the individuals who is making the process rather unpleasant at the moment! - SchroCat (talk) 06:13, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
The following is a closed discussion of a requested move. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section on the talk page. Editors desiring to contest the closing decision should consider a move review after discussing it on the closer's talk page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Is there a reason this isn't at Killing of? I didn't see any discussion other than the multi-article move request from Death of. Valereee (talk) 16:14, 1 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]