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Talk:Earthshot Prize/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]
Pass - Tim O'Doherty (talk) 12:41, 15 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: MSincccc (talk · contribs) 18:12, 19 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Tim O'Doherty (talk · contribs) 14:50, 31 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

  • "'waste-free living', and 'climate action'" - don't need the Oxford comm
 Done
  • Introduce Attenborough
 Done
  • "Prince William and Attenborough" - drop Prince
 Done

Background and launch

  • What's the rationale behind the massive quote at the start?
Could you please elaborate further? Should it be rephrased or removed?
  • "crucial decades for the environment [..] We must have some hope" - MOS:..., should be "crucial decades for the environment. ... We must have some hope"
 Done
  • "to be given to five individuals or organisations who provided impactful and sustainable solutions for the planet's environmental problems between 2021 and 2030" - open to misinterpretation: five people/organisations over the 10 year span, or each year for ten years? Finding solutions for the planet's problems between 2021 and 2030, finding solutions for the problems that existed between 2021 and 2030, or the prize to be awarded between 2021 and 2030? Needs a rework.
  • "cited the work of his grandfather Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, father King Charles III" - why is it "Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh" but not "Prince William, Duke of Cambridge"? Charles isn't king by this point. "father" -> "his father".
 Done
  • Inconsistent between "the prize" and "the Prize".
  • "former US President John F. Kennedy" -> "the former American president John F. Kennedy"
 Done
  • "launched the project in October 2020, with a prize budget of £50 million" - not separate points: "in October 2020 with a prize budget of £50 million"
 Done
  • "To commemorate the launch, William" - ditto, the comma shouldn't be here
 Done
  • "Prince William and Attenborough both appeared" - repetition, "the pair" or similar is fine
 Done
  • "detailed the importance of environmental work" -> quite a fuzzy and vague phrase: a bit of detail would be nice
  • "In July 2022, it was announced" - drop comma
I would have dropped it had only the year been mentioned. When the month has been mentioned, we don't drop it. I have checked with the other articles.
  • "The Royal Foundation" - T -> t
 Done
  • "the Earthshot Prize had become" - don't need the full name again: it's like writing "Paul McCartney" or "Eric Cantona" at every instance in their biography in place of "McCartney" or "Cantona". Just "the prize" or "the organisation" is fine.
 Done
  • "Zoë Ware, and Jean-Christophe Gray" - comma again
 Done
  • "Jacinda Ardern later joined the board" - introduce her: "the former prime minister of New Zealand" or similar
 Done
  • "later joined" - an idea of time would be useful: "joined the year later" etc
 Done
  • What has the last paragraph got to do with the launch? Should be moved or merged into the next section: "Management and funding"?
 Done

Funding

  • "Conservation International, and the Bezos Earth Fund" - ditto
 Done
  • "In an interview about the Earthshot Prize broadcast on 14 October 2021, William told the BBC's Newscast about the rise in "climate anxiety" among younger generations, and suggested that rich entrepreneurs should be "trying to repair this planet, not trying to find the next place to go and live"." - what has this got to do with funding?
 Done Removed it. William's statement, although relevant to the overall context of environmental concerns and the ethos behind the Earthshot Prize, does not pertain to its funding mechanisms. It could be more appropriately placed in another section. What do you suggest?

Categories and nomination process

  • "In September 2023, ahead of the second Earthshot Prize Innovation Summit in New York City, animal rights and climate activist, Genesis Butler, partnered with Generation Vegan to request the Prince of Wales to add an "Advance a Plant-Based Food System" category, matching the sum that the other five category winners receive.[24]" - did anything come of this? If not, why is it relevant?

More to come. Tim O'Doherty (talk) 14:50, 31 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Tim O'Doherty Thanks for taking the article up for GAR. I would be addressing your comments soon. Regards. MSincccc (talk) 15:18, 31 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
What's the rationale behind the massive quote at the start? @Tim O'Doherty Do you want me to remove it or modify it? Please let me know of your thoughts on this. Regards. MSincccc (talk) 05:45, 4 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Earthshot Prize Council

  • wide range of varying sectors dedicated towards positive action in the environmental space - word salad. Don't need both "wide" and "varied" or "positive" and "space". "range of sectors dedicated towards environmental action" would be much tighter.
  •  Done
  • Cate Blanchett, David Attenborough, Ernest Gibson, Hindou Oumarou Ibrahim, Indra Nooyi, Jack Ma, Luisa Neubauer, Naoko Yamazaki, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Stella McCartney - introduce these people.
  •  Done
  • To commemorate Earth Day 2021, the Council published an open letter in The Times, urging the public and communities to help with accelerating the fight against climate change - what's the relevance here? Is the open letter that significant?
  • Removed
  • Luisa Neubauer and Ernest Gibson - introduce
  • They have been introduced in the paragraph above.
  • were presented by Prince William and David Attenborough - "William and Attenborough"
  •  Done

Earthshot Prize Global Alliance

  • In September 2021, it was - drop comma
I would have dropped it had only the year been mentioned. When the month has been mentioned, we don't drop it. I have checked with the other articles and mentioned this previously as well (see above).
  • will help "scale up" ideas - it's been over two years - can we have an update?
  • Fellowship Programme - why the capitals? Alternatively you could do "The Fellowship Programme, lasting nine months, was launched in 2022 ..."
  • with various businesses and organisations that are part of the Earthshot Prize Global Alliance - again, you don't need "various" if you tell us which ones later in the sentence.
  • Since 2022, the Earthshot - comma
  • The OED does not recommend doing so in this case.
  • In May 2023, the Earthshot Prize - same
See the dual responses above
  • In May 2023, the Earthshot Prize announced a two-year partnership with YouTube, which would include "co-branded campaigns, events and creator collaborations". In July 2023, Prince William joined with YouTube channel Sorted Food to serve veggie burgers from a food truck in London. The burgers were made and served with items sourced from the 2022 winners. In March 2024, the Earthshot Prize Launchpad was initiated as a matchmaking platform to connect Earthshot winners and innovators with investors and philanthropists. - out of place in this section.
It's part of the activities with regard to the Earthshot Prize Global Alliance. Where else in the article could it be placed? Looking forward to knowing from you.

More to come. Tim O'Doherty (talk) 14:44, 8 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Tim O'Doherty I have tried to address your comments in an effective matter. Looking forward to your response. Regards. MSincccc (talk) 17:04, 8 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

2021 Award winners and nominees

  • "The location of the ceremony will alternate each year." - not relevant to the section
  • " The 2021 Earthshot Prize ceremony took place on 17 October 2021" - repetitive: "the ceremony" is fine
  • "Alexandra Palace, and was broadcast" - comma
  • You give the venue as Alexandra Palace but you don't say where it is: London. Not everybody knows where it is and it should be added.
  • "Emma Thompson, Emma Watson, David Oyelowo and Mohamed Salah" - introduce them: actress, actress, actor, footballer
  • "60 cyclists pedalling on bikes provided the power for music performances" - per MOS:NUMNOTES this should be "sixty", but the sentence reads oddly as well: a bit more information would be good. What was it powering? Lights, speakers, instruments? How was it converted? etc...
  • "None of the celebrities flew to London and the stage was built using non-plastic material" - I'm guessing the focus here is on the flying and not London, but it doesn't seem like it the way it's written. "None of the celebrities travelled to London by plane" would be better. What material specifically?
  • "All of the guests were advised to choose environmentally appropriate outfits" - what makes an outfit "environmentally appropriate"?

Tim O'Doherty (talk) 14:39, 15 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Tim O'Doherty Thank you for your time and suggestions. I have addressed all your comments. Looking forward to knowing your thoughts. Regards. MSincccc (talk) 17:01, 15 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Tim O'Doherty Pinging as it's been over a fortnight since I last received comments from you. Looking forward to your response. Have a great day ahead. Regards. MSincccc (talk) 14:13, 2 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

2022 Award winners and nominees

  • "Boston, United States" - you could probably drop "United States": you didn't say "London, England" before.
  • "Nominations for the second prize ceremony opened on 6 January 2022, with 300 nominating partners eligible to submit" - this is the second sentence in this paragraph, but the corresponding sentence in the previous section is first.
  • "15" - "Fifteen"
  • "2022, and the winners" - comma needed?
  • "Sir David Attenborough narrated" - "Attenborough"
  • "the Princess of Wales" - you've linked her above

Tim O'Doherty (talk) 19:29, 2 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Tim O'Doherty I have addressed all your comments except for the second one which I could not understand clearly. Could you please elaborate further on that point? Regards MSincccc (talk) 15:01, 3 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

2023 Award winners and nominees

  • The second Earthshot Prize Innovation Summit took place in New York City - can we have a mention of the first?
  • Remove false titles: pop stars Bastille, OneRepublic and Bebe Rexha -> the pop stars Bastille, OneRepublic and Bebe Rexha; Actress Cate Blanchett -> The actress Cate Blanchett; etc
  • Remove link to Singapore: MOS:OL.

Tim O'Doherty (talk) 21:54, 20 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Tim O'Doherty All your concerns have been addressed. Looking forward to your response. Regards. MSincccc (talk) 10:47, 21 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Rollinginhisgrave

In the first two sentences, award is used three times, and one appears to be mistaking reward for award. The fact that winners correspond with categories is jarringly introduced. I checked if Attenborough and William were still involved, and they are, but Yao Ming, who is listed as currently on the selection committee, is not. MOS:DATED should be utilised. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 16:28, 10 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Tim O'Doherty Do you concur? Additionally, do you have any further remarks, or have you completed the GAR? As it has been over two months since the GAR was transcluded, I felt it was important to follow up with you. I look forward to your response. Kind regards. Regards. MSincccc (talk) 16:52, 10 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I'll follow up soon. Tim O'Doherty (talk) 12:02, 11 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source review

[edit]
  • Remove ISSNs
  • Add url-access parameters to all paywalled sources
  • Consistency between
  • "BBC" and "BBC News"
  • "the Guardian" and "The Guardian"
  • Some refs have quotes while other's don't
  • Make sure all titles go by MOS:TITLECONFORM
  • Ref 55 has its work linked while others don't
  • Why does ref 69 have its author down as "Amsterdam"? What is "English site"?
  • Some refs don't have a work listed at all, eg 37, 40 and 70
  • Ref 5's author (Reporter, A) is generic text and should be removed
  • What makes the following reliable?:
  • DAWN.COM
  • Nation
  • GeekWire
  • Business Green
  • Deccan Herald
  • E&T
  • 44.01
  • City of Amsterdam
  • Enapter
  • Coral Vita
  • YouTube Official Blog

Spotcheck soon. Tim O'Doherty (talk) 14:37, 18 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source spotcheck:
  • 2(a) - checkY
  • 4 - (along with 2b) checkY
  • 11 - ☒N - cannot see where the Benioffs, Allen Foundation, Green Belt Movement or Conservation International are mentioned in any of the three sources.
  • 12 - ☒N - Ditto
  • 23 - checkY
  • 27 - checkY
  • 34a - checkY
  • 48 - checkY
  • 54 - checkY
  • 65 - checkY although this is not a very good source to use for this claim.
Earwig tool:
The tool gives a top figure of 89.6%, but the overlap from the first article is mostly quotations and titles. The second article flags the blockquote from Prince William. After those two the numbers drop to a more acceptable level. I might cut down on the number of quotes, but that's a personal opinion. Tim O'Doherty (talk) 13:00, 25 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Tim O'Doherty The blockquote has been removed, reference no. 65 has been replaced with a reliable secondary source and the concerns regarding references 11 and 12 have also been addressed. Looking forward to your response soon. Regards. MSincccc (talk) 04:49, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Remaining outstanding issues

[edit]
  • "to be given to five individuals or organisations who provided impactful and sustainable solutions for the planet's environmental problems between 2021 and 2030" is still unclear
  • We still have inconsistency between "the Prize" and "the prize"
  • "detailed the importance of environmental work" is still very vague
  • Still commas where there shouldn't be
  • It's still not clear whether the "Advance a Plant-Based Food System" prize was ever introduced
  • There are still false titles
  • Several people are not introduced in the text
  • I'm still not sure of the reliability of Nation, GeekWire, E&T or 44.01.

Tim O'Doherty (talk) 12:22, 8 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Tim O'Doherty
  • GeekWire is generally considered a reliable source for topics related to technology, startups, and innovation.
  • Nation Media Group is a well-established and reputable media organization, particularly in Kenya and East Africa, its coverage of international topics like the Earthshot Prize is reliable.
  • 44.01 is not used in the article.
  • The suggestions pertaining to the presence of false titles have been addressed though you may suggest further changes if you still find any.
  • "detailed the importance of environmental work" is still very vague Could you please suggest alternatives?
Looking forward to your response. Regards. MSincccc (talk) 05:45, 12 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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