User talk:Under user/Archive 9

RAPE!!!

This is all Yetties fault he did it to me so i'm just paying it forward. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 10:22 10 June 2008

DAMN IT! I MISSED IT BY FIVE MINUTES! ~ 10:31, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Ha. Ha. Also hello Mordillo I don't believe we've been in the same conversation before. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 10:33 10 June 2008

Probably not, let me look for something to drink. /me starts opening cabinets looking for free alcohol ~ 10:44, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Aww, don't tell me I've missed out on all the rapey goodness! Ah well, at least we'll get to see Mordillo drunk again. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 10:47, Jun 10

Leddy you're another person I don't think I've spoken to. Hello. I should rape user pages more often oh and Mordillo, I found you alcahol!
Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 10:51 10 June 2008

/me wanders past drinking the last of his booze stash. What're you doing in my tumble dryer Mordillo? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:52, Jun 10

hick I'm never drunk hick w3hats with oll of uu free alkohol hick ~ 10:53, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Note to self: hmm, that spin cycle has been a bit strong of late. And it seems to have imparted a lot of static to Mordillo's hair. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:55, Jun 10

Ah!

Your UnScripts suggestion has inspired me to create me previous idea, Slightly Below Average Man, in UnScript form. Before I began, however, I noticed that you had an UnScript called "Average Cop". Please note I'm not ripping you off in any way, I had my idea for my article a long time ago. --~FAG! chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH)

That's cool, I like the idea, look forward to seeing it. You might want to have a look at Kaiser the Bjorn's Übermensch as well, for reference. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:05, Jun 11

I caught that!

Just before you archived. Sneaky that. I guess I keep having a go at myself to keep myself in check or something, lest the beast underneath stir, or some equally clichéd phrase. Also, I can't believe the tank thing stuck, chalk that one up to Lj and IRC, dammit. Also also, revel in the suckyness of my plain as hell sig! Also also also, congrats on the VFS nom. It's definitely going to be hard to choose, glad I don't have to go through it! Also also also also, I forgot why I came here in the first place...oh yeah, to reply to the archived topic. Anyway, see you, have a good day/week/incremental time period! ~~Hv 10/06 20:03

Well, if my presence in the vote was going to make it tough in any way, I've eased that a bit (see below). Look, I'll say it one more time and that's it: you are a tank, goddamn it! Now, I think it's about time I had my lunch. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:10, Jun 11

Yummy, lunch, that'd be nice for once on a weekday! Well, I guess you've got to do what you feel is right here, and I applaud you for declining the nom (I know I've thought about doing it, but I figure that it won't affect VFS much anyway). And yes, I did write that before I knew I was nommed (damned Manticore), it's even harder now with so many good candidates! I reckon five could get through to the second round, though I definitely want Modus to win. And and, point taken. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 11/06 15:18

You sure about that?

I was just dying to see your ban summaries. ~ 08:15, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Pretty sure, yeah. This time. For a start, there are some really excellent candidates up there, who I trust to do the same job I'd have done, except possibly betterer. For a second, I suspect my contributions to the site may decline in the next three months as my wedding creeps inexorably closer. For a third, I'll then have a 3 week break for honeymoon. If I'm nommed again after that, it may be a different story. However, I was chuffed and flattered to get the nom - nice to know I'm thought of as competent enough! (Besides, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's dying to see Modus's ban summaries!) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 08:21, Jun 11

You too with the wedding?! sigh Mine is September 2nd. When is yours? ~ 08:25, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

14th of the same month. Good luck with yours man! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 08:27, Jun 11

Thanks! Likewise! I say we skip the wedding and go get hammered in Leeds. ~ 08:30, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Blimey! My g/f is putting down the pain at the moment wanting a date for the big day... Maybe we should perswade them to get an on-line wedding on Uncyc to say money? Hmm... Maybe they might not agree to that... Also, I'm on a pants computer today, no mouse and the like so thanks for sorting the smithing UU. It's a nightmare trying to do it here! MrN 10:40, Jun 11

Except you just beat me to getting rid of the drama vote by nano-seconds. And my edit summary was waaaayyyy funnier than yours! /me throws mardy fit. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:24, Jun 11

Oh, Sorry! I put my serious trousers on there just for a second. That vote was really pissing me off. I'm glad Mordillo stayed out of the drama allowing him to give an neutral ruling... Go on? What was yours summary going to be? :-) MrN 11:28, Jun 11

Can't remember. Seriously. I live in the moment, for the moment. I'm a free spirit and can't be chained down. Well, except by the chains of wedlock, obviously. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:13, Jun 11

UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!

June 12th, 2008 • Issue 7

Cajek banned - New, shittier writer assigned to this stupid job by Qua Recently Cajek, an Uncyclopedia user who has been labelled as a mystical creature, was been given a one month ban by the council of Wikia. Users who feared that UnSignpost would not be written or delivered. But don't worry, Qua (Uncyclopedia's shittiest n00b) and half of YTTE have taken over UnSignpost, well...until Cajek gets unbanned. Qua, who is currently in a state of shock, said that "Cajek was a good guy, I didn't expect him to get banned for a month. He was about to help me, I don't know what he was going to help me with but he was going to help me with something.". Many Uncyclopedians that are known have a hold a grudge against Cajek celebrated his recent ban saying "While he might be back in only a month, we should take the time to celebrate and rejoice a Cajek-free environment." Flumpa "taking toys and going home". by lots of different people It has been reported that Flumpa, Uncyclopedia's very own pimply faced ginger-nut has left Uncyclopedia forever, due to irreconcilable differences. He cites the banning of users, fights between the two, the treatment of IP's as "real people" and the lack of cookies in mommas cookie jar. One of our reporters spoke to Flumpa as he was packing his wagon to leave Uncyclopedia "I like the holding hands and the fairy floss but Sophia has icky wiki germs and I just couldn't get past that. However I hear this new EDwina down the street is available, she may play in mud but I hear she has yummy yummy cookies." 127.0.0.1, leader of the "IPs are Real People, Too" Foundation had said that "Flumpa makes some great points on IP treatment, such as telling them that behind that string of random numbers lies an actual person; A person with heart. A person with brain. A person with spleen." When asked whether he would share his hard earned money on a badge from the Keep-the-IP's-out-of-Bannation-Foundation, this reporter simply told them to bugger off and get their own alcohol addiction gawdammit! We do, however, wish Flumpa the best of luck as he travels across the wiki-street with his trademarked brand of Off-topic forums to meet this EDwina fellow. Internet safety month has begun. By Dr. Skullthumper We at the UnSignpost would like to remind all Uncyclopedian editors that June is Internet safety month. Through the efforts of Uncyclopedia and other sites across the Internet, we can help protect innocent children and frail grandmothers from seeing offensive content PEARL NECKLACE Uhm, we're sorry about that. The editor that wrote that previous sentence has been fired, in accordance with the rules of Internet safety month. UnSignpost would like to remind all editors to use extra padding in tables, because we don't want the little kiddies touching the sharp edges and getting hurt. As per Internet safety month, all uploaded porn will be closely monitored to see if the models are engaging in safe fucking. I mean sex. SEX! I meant SEX! We apologize for the previous two editors. They have been shot, out in the hallway, in the most safe method possible, we assure you. We even laid out cushions for them to fall on. Anyway, Websense and other Internet blocking sites will up its sensors to block over 99.99% of the Internet. What will remain is available is the Wikipedia article "Frog", weather.com, and anything unblocked in China. We at UnSignpost wish you a happy Internet safety month, and hope that you stay safe. Remember to always use a firewall. This column has been blocked by Websense. Websense has blocked this column for the following reason: This column contains "humor". Finals approach for student-Uncyclopedians, procrastination triples By TheLedBalloon Aww, kitty! Isn't he cute? Difficult times lie ahead for schoolbound Uncyclopedians. A series of semi-challenging tests lie in the near future for many, and everyone's workload seems to be growing. Unfortunately for Uncyclopedians, finals are nearly here. However, luckily for Uncyclopedia, finals are almost here! This means that, as procrastination rates skyrocket, Uncyclopedia activity grows proportionally. Haven't been studying for your math final? Those fancy words mean that Uncyclopedia usage is going up, just as teachers pull out their hair worrying about keeping their kids' averages above the department bottom line so they can keep their jobs. However, here at UnSignpost and Uncyclopedia, we pride ourselves on allowing for multi-tasking. So, here is a series of brief study guides that are pretty much all you need: Science: For this final, you will be asked questions about science. However, simply remember a few facts, and your science final will be a breeze. These include remembering that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny, pyruvate and phosphofruktokinase function as glycolytic enzymes, and the kidneys are located three ribs up from the malnuric sphincter. Math: Just prove to your teacher that 1=2, and any answer you give is automatically right. English: ENGLISH, MOFO, DO YOU SPEAK IT? History: To pass this, just try to remember a few important dates: 622BC, 394BC, 211BC, 5BC, 11AD, 24AD, 300AD, 906AD, 1102AD, 1619AD, 1791AD, 1963AD, and 2012AD. Tech. Ed.: Basically, you take a saw and cut shit up. Fucking A. Music class: Try not to fail and blow any notes. You'd sure look like a real tool, then, huh. Art: Just explain to your teacher how deep and misunderstood you are, and paint your feelings. Take a few pictures with a black and white camera setting and write a few "dark" poems, and if your teacher knows how often you cry then you'll have an easy A. Foreign language: THIS IS AMERICA, SPEAK AMERICAN! Gym: If you're really planning on studying for this final, then only God can help you now. NONSENSE CATASTOPHE by Cajek An article by Zombiebaron has caused a huge feud between the all-powerful admins that could ban me again. Thekillerfroggy has charged that the "Nonsense Watermelon Catastrophe" was not newsworthy enough, while Zombiebaron charges that the article is newsworthy, and therefore should not be deleted. In the fight, many people have cried "drama" and run for their lives. "Oh, this is deliiiicious!" said resident fucktard Drama. We spoke to Drama in his white linoleum mansion. He stopped seductively petting his gay snow leopard long enough to talk to us. "I loooove drama. I want their drama dripping all over my linoleum castle. I want their orgasmic screams of anger to rattle the walls! What do you think, Puffles?" "Oohh, puurrrrr" said Puffles. Some of the more regular users have claimed that the drama will bring unwanted side effects. RAHB has recently said to one of our reporters: "Remember, when there's drama, Ljlego touches himself." [Ed note: he said that on IRC, I swear. to. god. ban: banbanban.] Zombiebaron, an administrator who just happens to be a spectre of the unwept dead, spoke at his crypt this Tuesday dressed in his ceremonial black and red robes: "Hhhgggrrrr, I do not like speaking to the public: They give me a rash. As far as how random uncyclopedia is, we have two admins who are a balloon and a frog, so my article is perfect. The drama will not be settled until I taste the frog's flesh. Suffffeeeerrrrrr..." The Killer Froggy issued a statement soon after, with his frog army in the background: "ribbit? RIBBIT! ribbit. ribbit ribbit ribbit!" Both administrators have promised to ban the poor, misunderstood writer of this article if their statements were printed, but that's the risk we take to bring you the news. That's just how cool we are. Drama is the real winner here. As of this printing, he is planning to buy his gay snow leopard a fluffy red cape with the profits. And remember: every time there's drama, Ljlego touches himself. I'm not fucking kidding. He's all like, "oh yeah, oh, oh yeah I love you drama" and they're both in the love coven, snugglin' n' shit. I have pictures, guys! I swear it's totally ins AS OF THIS PARAGRAPH, CAJEK HAS BEEN BANNED INDEFINITELY.

Check out these pages! How dare you! Google is the new 42 Join Scientology Or Else! Wikis different from our own PWN'D! From our logs: 09:42, 5 June 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Bringing Uncyclopedia in to disrepute (or even further into? whatever.)) 15:33, 5 June 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (time served already.....reduced sentence) 13:42, 4 June 2008, TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 221.154.246.169 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (Sorry, you're too dumb to edit this wiki. You can come back when you grow a brain.) 12:35, 4 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 47 seconds ‎ (ZOMG LINKIN' SHOCK BANBANBANBANBAN) 03:55, June 10, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 122.2.113.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (TAGLOG MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK TAGLOG?!) 20:07, June 10, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Are you ban hunting or something?) 05:56, June 11, 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.0.83.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (You fail at funny. Read HTBFANJS. Slowly. Then copy it out 100 times in longhand and maybe, *maybe* I'll let you edit here again.)) Biopic of the Week 127.0.0.1 ~ Quite possibly the greatest IP that has ever lived. He is literally everywhere at once. He is in your computer, destroying it bit by bit. He is in your living room, eating your Flamin' Hot Cheetos. He is in your bedroom possibly getting laid. He is in every room you could possibly think of. All Hail 127.0.0.1!!! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Euroipods and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "Can-in-the-pan" ~ Showcasing the unerring ability of the British to come up with expressions that bear no connection whatsoever to the item or act they're describing, this is used by the Cornish to refer to a somersault. A small template glorious prize is on offer to the person who comes up with the best suggestion as to why. Answers on a postcard to UU's talk page. Page Quote of the Week: Oswald's guilt was assured when he was witnessed running the 397 yards from the Book Depository Building and began teabagging the President Warren Commission Best New Article of the Week: That Guy Standing Behind You with the Freakin' Huge Chainsaw, no words can sum up how incredibly good this article is. It tells this story about a guy who wasn't cared for who started chopping things up with a chainsaw. Sure some critics are skeptical but we at the UnSignpost think this is the best new article yet. Well until it gets deleted of course. Article of the week: That one written by Cajek all the way at the bottom was pretty damn good. I love articles that have references to sex in 'em. I don't have much to do in this trailer, and when I see a reference to sex it's like my pants fly. off. It's okay, the cats don't understand what's going on. Well, the dogs and the chimp may understand but they're not complainin'. Nope, reading Uncyclopedia articles gets me too hot to care about social constraints.

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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:53, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Umm... I'm here for the "Can-In-The-Pan" thing... where do I sign up?

Ok... umm... so on 28 June 1914, Pan Samochodzik (aka The Drywall Guy) was working on a house in Teignmouth, Deveon in our Great Britain. As fate would have it, Pan was renovating a victorian age mezzanine, complete with lead paint, and asbestos insulation, while smoking his eleventh pack of rich, Nicaraguan cigars that day.

"Can" is short for cancer, as his doctor soon informed him. A few days later, Mr. Samochodzik somersaulted off of a high bulding. That, my friends, is your humble narrator's explanation of the expression "Can-In-The-Pan". GOD SAVE THE QUEEN! Regret Tenenbaum 03:24, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Thank you Under user

Thank you! for your support. May your socks stay forever dry! Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 21:03, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

'Grats

On the milestones, I guess. Getting closer to those overoptimistic totals I set you on the HowTo, that'd be an achievement! Sheesh, 120 reviews... seems huge to me, and I've done 50! Imagine what that must feel like as a new reviewer seeing someone with that amount. Tremendous work. Also, I'm shattered, as evidenced by my lack of bottom-table updating, if at least feeling better now (damn stomach bugs). Also also, as usual, I'm rambling. Damn. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 16/06 20:49

To be honest, doing another 5 before the end of September will be enough of an achievement, given my hectic summer (see discussion with Mordillo about weddings above). Also, last time I tried editing while ill, I got my only ban from Mordillo - don't do it kids! Seriously, stomach bugs suck dude, hope you're up and at 'em again soon! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 20:55, Jun 16

It seems everyone's getting married around here right now! What with you guys, and Cheap, and I'm sure there's another couple I'm forgetting... I definitely picked an inconvenient time to be ill, between exam-stress, family-stress and VFS-stress, it definitely doesn't help! I should be fine by tomorrow though hopefully. And again, congratulations on the wedding! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 16/06 21:01

Thanks for review

I just found this thank you template, ta for review - it was very helpful--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 11:19, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Rejoice, Under user! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

You are very welcome - I enjoyed the read, and a good reviewer such as yourself deserves someone taking some time over reviewing your stuff. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:24, Jun 17

Irish

For your vote in favour of today's FA, please allow me to serve you a modest Irish breakfast:

Cheers. NaturalBornKieler (talk) 19:55, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Oh-Kaaaaaayyyaayyyaayyyyyyy...

thanks for the, um, comment. mind telling me which articles and why? always good to let the person know and give them a chance to fix things if they see fit before you press the "please delete" button. and i checked out illogicopedia or whatever, seemed less streamlined than uncyclopedia, but i'll do some more looking. thanks. ~ Mgr. ManEatingBadger

As you left this message both here and on your talk page, I've replied there to make things easier. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:02, Jun 19

HAHAHAHAHAHA (cough cough)...

Yes.... Um.... thank you, Under User, for choosing my "Can-In-The-Pan" scenario out of the proposterous influx of sumbissions you must have recieved (that I somehow can't find... meh, it's probably a glitch...) I am honored to recieve the cake thingy, which I will eat with pride. I feel so useful! :D Regret Tenenbaum 23:36, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Unsignpost

UU, thank you so much for helping! Me and Skullthumper want this to be an uncyc tradition: the kind we pass on to our grandkids! Hurry, write... things...! Thank youuuu!   Le Cejak • <11:06, 20 Jun 2008>

I'm trying! Honest! The slight problem being that a guy who has written no articles in over a month is really struggling to come up with enough funny to fill the damn thing! Arrrrgh! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:08, Jun 20

pishaw: you have enough funny to fill two unsignpost editions!   Le Cejak • <11:15, 20 Jun 2008>

I wish. Someone seems to have stolen my big pile o' funny ideas and hidden the bugger. As soon as I track it down, I'm going on an article writing spree (although not one to match yours, just a spree by my standards!) I'm due a couple of good articles. Or at least, I hope I am! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 16:14, Jun 20

UnSignpost: June 19th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!

June 19whenever-th, 2008 • Issue 8

UnSignpost abandoned by creators! by UU Uncyclopedia's popular newspaper/tacky tabloid rag (delete according to preference) the UnSignpost - already floundering following the loss of founding editor Dr. Skullthumper - has been dealt another, possibly fatal blow, with the news that popular feature-machine and international diplomat Cajek has not been arsed to edit the latest issue. When thursday June 19th dawned without the by-now-traditional UnSignpost dropping onto their talkpages, Unycylopedians everywhere could be heard bravely dealing with the incident by pretending they hadn't noticed. We asked prominent Uncyc contributors for their reactions to the journalistic crisis facing their favourite wiki-based news delivery system. "SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON.... SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON!" said Don Leddy, obviously coping badly with the news. Sensing a possible catastrophe, DJ Irreverent bravely leaped into the breach and created a forum topic that galvanised the community, while UU declared himself too busy to help, then promptly wrote about half of the paper. While still suffering from writer's block, which explains the total lack of lulz and inspiration thus far. It's probably about time to link to nobody cares and close this story now, isn't it? Industrial mogul joins Uncyclopedia, promises great wealth to all. by DJ Irreverent UU Donald Trump, the man, the legend, the Tower, the hairstyle, has taken time out of his busy international schedule to create a forum topic promising affluence beyond the dreams of avarice to all on Uncyclopedia! Despite the impeccable credentials displayed on his userpage, so far only Qua and SysRq managed to take advantage of the popular billionaire's altruism before he was ruthlessly banned by noted anti-capitalist Codeine. UnSignpost was particularly impressed with Codeine's ability to resist the temptation to use "you're fired" as a block reason, as we are sure it would have been all but overwhelming. It is to be hoped that, on his return from bannination, Mr Trump will use his undoubted wealth and business connections to help Uncyc beat the ever-encroaching threat of Wikia's advertising plans. N00b ties knot by UU Popular recent NotM winner Cheapinitreal has further embarrassed the Uncyclopedia community by becoming all respectable and getting married. Confessing to his transgression, Cheap added "all and all, it was a right fine week". The UnSignpost would like to write something really funny here, then wish Cheap all the best, but this issue is being rushed out as it's, like, way late, so we just don't have time. UnSignpost resorts to blatant filler by UU In a move heralded as "an exciting development in journalism" by guest editor UU, the UnSignpost today employed blatant flannel to fill an annoying white gap at the bottom of the page. It is believed that this is the first such instance of using blatant rubbish to fill a newspaper page in journalistic history. "I'm proud to be at the vanguard of such a groundbreaking technique" said UU, before going off to scour Cajek's ideas page in a desperate hunt for inspiration. "Is this long enough yet?" he added, before concluding "not quite, another few words or so should do the trick".

Check out these pages! If people are gonna do it, might as well keep 'em off the streets Tuber tales The Cult of QVFD spreads! Don't think there's enough to vote for? Fag to the rescue! From our logs: 13:12, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You will be better appreciated at that cheap whorehouse down the road. Take the third left) 21:59, 17 June 2008 Hinoa (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.38.121.240 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (UN:VAIN: It's what's for [INSERT GENERIC MEAL HERE]) 09:07, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 220.128.148.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Budha says: Blanking shall not lead you to enlightment. Write funny articles, my friend, and be happy) 04:59, 16 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.107.246.135 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 day ‎ (No no. When was that last time YOU had a really big solid shit?) 01:35, 15 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.2.209.140 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You know, you're probably the dumbest person I've ever seen. That's saying a lot, you know. You should be proud.) 17:57, 13 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 84.168.60.159 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Banning Italy, one IP at a time.) Biopic of the Week Zombiebaron ~ Zombiebaron? Zombiebaron, zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron. Strong Zombiebaron. Text-based Zombiebaron. Also, Zombiebaron. Finally, Zombiebaron. Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Bubble Wrap and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "I wanna new wicker wacker" ~ Discerning Uncyclopedians finding themselves in the heart of Liverpool, but worryingly badly dressed, should fret no more - this handy phrase allows them to ask "can I have a new suit please sir?" like a native. It's anyone's guess as to what they'll end up clad in though. MrN UU's delete reason of the week: The_possible_lovechild_of_Mark_Twain_and_Oscar_Wilde ~ Delete - Holy crap, I've actually read this at least twice. I can't understand why it never occured to me to put it on VFD --Kip the Dip

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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 00:58, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

RE: My spiffy sig

I like the spiffy sig there Regret. Er, that's all I have to say right now. --UU - natter 15:42, Jun 23

Well.... thank you, sir. I see you've chosen to shorten your sig. Why is that? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 18:37, 24 June 2008 (UTC)

Eh, a change is as good as a rest. This is my third sig, and I'm sure there will be others to follow. --UU - natter 09:53, Jun 25

By the way, what's talk page whoring? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 18:21, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

Ah, well, if someone is up for an award, or has an article up for VFH, they sometimes pop around talk pages trying to encourage people to vote. Different people have different views on it (YTTE positively encourages it, while THINKER gets right shirty if you try it with him). Personally, as someone who votes on pretty much everything on this site, I'm just not keen on having my talk page clogged up with it when I'll be voting anyway. There's much less important stuff I'd rather be clogged up with... --UU - natter 18:32, Jun 25

Oh! thanks! (and please excuse my noobie questions) -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 19:44, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

Not at all! Feel free to fire any questions you have this way - happy to help. --UU - natter 07:56, Jun 26

RE:PEE

i removed the tag. i am taking a break. Baseball^{1 6 Join Here} 20:00, 24 June 2008 (UTC)

OK, well, good luck to you with that, hope to see you back some time. --UU - natter 09:54, Jun 25

On Several Things

Hey U.U. Firstly I... Have cpmpleatly forgotten what I came here for. No, wait, I remember now, sorry, senior moment, do you fancy doing a review on my article? You're from the UK too so you stand more chance of 'gettin' it' than some of our american buddies and I'd really apreciate a review from you (or even just some quick thoughts). Also to do with PEEING I really haven't forgoten about Fag's article, I've had it tagged for ages and I keep getting distracted but I've almost got it finished. Also in the same yellow vain, is there anything after the Platinum Pisser yet? For 75 or 100 in depth reviews? Cos I'm getting nearer the 50 mark and I'll need something new to aim for after that. What about a Titanium Toilet?

Yeah, the UnLibrary, I've not forgotten (I've used that word too much already) about it either. I'll probably work on it in a userspace for a few days then let you see, if I can think what I really want to do with it. Well what I want it too look like. I think that's all for now. Oh what do you think of my new sig? Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 02:27 26 June 2008

I'll give you a guarded "probably". Work is now expecting me to do something for the next couple of days (I know, how unreasonable), and there are things I really need to do towards my impending nuptials - I don't want to get on the future Mrs UU's bad side at this point! So I can't promise, but if you see my booking tag go on it, I will have made time, OK?

I haven't come up with a further PEEING award yet - it's wayyyyy down on my list of priorities, to be honest, although I might knock something up. We'll see if I get the time! And the library - well, I've ordered the UnBooks mainpage a bit better now, cut out some of the crap and so forth, so the further fine tuning is more of an ongoing thing. If you're happy to work on it in your userspace, then great stuff. Good luck with that!

As to the sig, nice and colourful! (Possibly the first box could do with white text to show up a little betterer?) Always good to have some cheery colours about the place. Maybe I'll dig up my nice, summery, grey "UU classic" sig at some point... --UU - natter 08:07, Jun 26

Oh, hey that's cool, thanks. Just thought I'd ask. Yeah I've noticed you'd been doing stuff with the UnBooks mainpage and it's looking much neater now! And as for sigs: no, I've seen that gray thing in archives and that's where it belongs. My sig though: the correct answer is "Yes". Yes you like it, none of these possiblies (Seriously I would do the writing in white for the first box but that'd mess up the colour scheame I have going). Oh and yeah good luck with the whole marriage thing! Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 15:56 26 June 2008

Rollback

Just a note to say that I've noticed your requests, and I have no problem with granting you rollback rights either. In fact, I just love doing bureaucratty stuff, so if you just wanna canvas a couple more admins in the interests of pretend democracy, I'll happily sort it out for you. :) -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 11:40, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

Cool, well you were pretty much next on my list after Leddy, so that's another tick. I'll ear'ole that Mantiwhore type as well then, and if there are no objections, I'll be doffing my cap on your talk page soon. No, that is not a euphemism. --UU - natter 11:45, Jun 26

Hea UU. I noticed your doings in this respect. I wonder if what we really need is a bit of a change in policy in regard to the old rollback thing. Personally, I think there are a good few users who probably should be given this rather useful tool. I have been thinking about a dump post about this for a while, but like yourself, I'm keen to avoid the associated drama. I wonder if there is a way to get the good ol bureaucrats to grant this right more often rather than people having to ask like this. It does appear to all be a bit backwards to me... MrN 11:53, Jun 26

Well, the process arose from drama in a Miniluv forum when Skullthumper requested it in the first place, and I don't have a major problem with it - I don't think it's a major hassle to ask a couple of admins, and then find a 'crat to do the deed assuming you meet with appropriate approval. Most of the people whose contributions would benefit from such a tool can easily ask around, and shouldn't encounter too many problems with getting approval. --UU - natter 12:02, Jun 26

I'd avoid the dump, following last time's drama. I think we can keep it simple for now. ~ 12:09, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

Does it not say somewhere that people are not supposed to ask for rollback though? That's kinda what I mean about it being a bit backwards. I think that there are some users (like HV for example) who would REALLY benefit from the tool, but that don't ask because they don't want to be considered to be power whoring. Obviously I do not think you are power whoring UU, but when people ask, some will always think that they are. I totally support you getting the tool, I just thought it might be better if the bureaucrats granted the tool more often based on merit. Without people needing to ask. Hoe, hmm... I guess nothing will change... MrN 12:15, Jun 26

We always go back to the same issue of - if it's needed. I've used the JS rollback for two years. Granted, it's not perfect, but it works. I think it's better to keep it unofficial than start yet another process/voting page/whoring campaign/mass murders. Not that I think that UU is doing any of that sort. Except for mass murders perhaps. ~ 12:33, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

/me hides knife, looks guilty. Who, m-me? Mass murders? Of vandalising IPs? No idea what you're talking about guv. /me kicks severed heads out of sight. -UU - natter 13:34, Jun 26

Was I suggesting another process? You lost me there Mordillo. I was not suggesting anything new, but just a comment or hope that perhaps said tool would best be granted without the need to ask. Currently it appears that it's not. Regarding if it's needed or not... Obviously it's not "needed" it's just a lot less effort for the user involved. Why it's not granted on a much wider scale I have never understood. However I don't understand most things, so there is nothing new there... /me tries to stab UU in the back, but snaps his blade on UU's general awesomeness... MrN 14:40, Jun 26

"General awesomeness"? /me chokes on mouthful of tea. I think you'll find that's my kevlar body armour. You can't be too careful in this day and age... --UU - natter 14:54, Jun 26

Anal Sex

Just a note to say that I've noticed your requests, and I have no problem with granting you anal sex either. In fact, I just love doing anal sex stuff, so if you just wanna canvas a couple more admins in the interests of pretend love life, I'll happily sort it out for you. ~ 12:11, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

I hate you. Also, you have Gmail. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 12:38, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

Death to England, England, England, Britain, Europe, England

Oh c'mon, UU! I hardly ever get to vote against! I don't understand tennis, I've never heard of these people, and... that's why I voted against.   Le Cejak • <14:30, 26 Jun 2008>

Fair enough. I'm not questioning your vote - your opinion is your opinion - but the reason of "England England etc" just rubbed me up the wrong way a tad - it almost feels like you're just looking at it, thinking "not my country" and ignoring the rest of it. I know that's not the case, but y'know. I don't have a clue who the fuck Jerry Falwell is, or what a Chex Mix might be, but I haven't voted against the articles they cropped up in with a reason of "America America etc". If you don't find it funny, you don't find it funny, and I'll never try to change your vote - I respect your opinion. But the reason just... Y'know? /me waves flag pathetically. --UU - natter 14:39, Jun 26

I did vote for mickey15's other tennis dude. Also, I think that America has been under the thumb of British tyranny for too long, and at the next continental congress, I'm going to suggest a revolution. Don't tell your English buddies, though. shhhh!   Le Cejak • <14:46, 26 Jun 2008>

Duly noted. I'll make sure I don't have shares in any Boston-based tea companies... --UU - natter 14:48, Jun 26

You both suck! Now, the colonies have real class and don't need poor stereotypes - Canada, Zimbabwe, that random island in the middle of nowhere... where's that kangaroo gone with my beer? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 15:00, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

Thank you all for coming to my little soiree. Now, I'd like to coooool things down a little with my Didgeridoo ballad, "Honey, Let's Fool Around" bwaaawaaaa-waaaaa-bwaaaaa-bwaaaa   Le Cejak • <15:07, 26 Jun 2008>

/me picks up tambourine. Sure, go ahead. I think we can all agree the British Virgin Islands are the pick of the bunch anyway... --UU - natter 15:11, Jun 26

Hey

A while back you voted against on my article up for feature, hippies. There's ill will or anything, but I've done a lot to it since you voted. Feel free to see if you think it's any better. Thanks, bye! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 01:43, Jun 27

I promise faithfully to have another look through shortly. Probably this evening, although I can't be certain about that. --UU - natter 14:16, Jun 27

Congratulations

Welcome to the wonderful world of rollback! Anything that allows me to do less work is a good thing :) -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 10:01, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

Ooo, shiny. Hmm, this could take a little getting used to. Thanks dude! --UU - natter 10:12, Jun 27

Hi

Hi --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:22, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

I --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:22, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

don't --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:22, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

know --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:22, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

why --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:22, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

I --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:22, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

am --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:22, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

doing --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:22, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

this. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:22, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

Good --UU - natter 14:25, Jun 27

as --UU - natter 14:25, Jun 27

it --UU - natter 14:25, Jun 27

would --UU - natter 14:25, Jun 27

be --UU - natter 14:25, Jun 27

really --UU - natter 14:25, Jun 27

worrying --UU - natter 14:25, Jun 27

if --UU - natter 14:25, Jun 27

you --UU - natter 14:25, Jun 27

had --UU - natter 14:25, Jun 27

a --UU - natter 14:25, Jun 27

reason. --UU - natter 14:25, Jun 27

Can Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 14:42 27 June 2008

I Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 14:42 27 June 2008

Play Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 14:42 27 June 2008

Too? Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 14:42 27 June 2008

IFounding Member Baseball16 13:56, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

AMFounding Member Baseball16 13:56, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

BACKFounding Member Baseball16 13:56, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

FROMFounding Member Baseball16 13:56, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

MYFounding Member Baseball16 13:56, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

BREAKFounding Member Baseball16 13:56, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

I --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:13, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

don't --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:13, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

really --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:13, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

care, --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:13, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

except --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:13, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

you --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:13, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

have --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:13, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

a --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:13, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

nice --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:13, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

hat. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:13, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

I'm --UU - natter 13:25, Jul 4

doing --UU - natter 13:25, Jul 4

this --UU - natter 13:25, Jul 4

wrong --UU - natter 13:25, Jul 4

again --UU - natter 13:25, Jul 4

aren't --UU - natter 13:25, Jul 4

I? --UU - natter 13:25, Jul 4

Oh - [08:28 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

wow - [08:28 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

this - [08:28 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

looks - [08:28 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

super - [08:28 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

duper - [08:28 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

fun! - [08:28 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Fun? --UU - natter 10:14, Jul 7

Man, --UU - natter 10:14, Jul 7

you --UU - natter 10:14, Jul 7

kids --UU - natter 10:14, Jul 7

these --UU - natter 10:14, Jul 7

days --UU - natter 10:14, Jul 7

have --UU - natter 10:14, Jul 7

a --UU - natter 10:14, Jul 7

strange --UU - natter 10:14, Jul 7

definition --UU - natter 10:14, Jul 7

of --UU - natter 10:14, Jul 7

"fun". --UU - natter 10:14, Jul 7

UnSignpost: June 26nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

June 26th, 2008 • Issue 9

Uncyclopedia running out of Interesting Stuff. UnSignpost in Jeopardy! By Qua Recently. Uncyclopedia, in its maternal state. Is running out of interesting stuff as most users keep filling her with the same old stuff day after day. Most if not almost all of the staff at the UnSignpost panicked as this meant that their newspaper, which faced the threat of disabondement yesterday. Could be folded by the Uncyclopedia Cabal (there is no cabal) itself. Cajek, the UnSignpost's co-founder, commented on the shortage of interesting stuff saying "...". Mostly this is a time of crisis for the UnSignpost which has been falling into a state of crisis for a while now. and we need you to help. All you have to do is send money to the UnSignpost offices. And please, refer freinds to do the same please! We need it more then you. Penis Man returns! By THEDUDEMAN At exactly 12:29 AM Monday morning, some local idiot decided that it would be a great day to stir up drama and piss people off with some long forgotten shit. And with that, Penis Man made his way back to our great Uncyclopedia with the intent of vandalizing Boomer's userpage. Soon after, the Town drunk Eugene Kay decided to follow suit by uploading the same image by the name of Zombiepenis. Why he decided to make such an apparent strike at the admin who has beat him so much is currently unknown. We at UnSignpost give them both a 25000000:1 chance of being banned. Local Uncyclopedian starts up Devil-Worship Wiki By Qua In a recent devil-related press conference. Cartoon Diablo, the younger and sillier version of Diablo. Has started up The Devil's Wiki, a wiki dedicated to worship of Satanism and The Devil itself. In a recent interview, Cartoon Diablo has said personally that "The wiki's going to contain a lot about the devil, no seriously. There's going to be articles about the caverns of hell, the kind of foods the devil eats and also various artworks done by the Devil himself. And if your asking if it's going to be great. Well... Yeah!, It's going to be satantastic!". Immediately after this was posted on the UnSignpost, 2 people have joined the satanic wiki. The 2 people are described to be a Himilianian Yettie and an Male Amish Human. Both of them have pledged their allegiance to the devil in return for absolute power. In today's weather report, make sure to bring an umbrella as Hell may be raining over within the next few days. Uncyclopedia's Reign of the Newbs Begins By Cajek and whoever else Interestingly enough, lots of new noobs (and old noobs) are getting featured articles these days. Somehow, the cult of the newbs has awoken, and Uncyc has felt its presence link to Double Entendre. Oh... did I say that out loud? "I don't trust the young 'uns," said Farmer O'Dell at his grain silo, "They write funny articles, yeah, but what do they contribute to the community?" Actually, writers like Hyperbole, Cheapinitreal, and The Woodburninator have stepped up, and are already commanders. Except that last one, who is close enough. Big time contributors like YesTimeToEdit, Qua, and Orian57 are cleaning up this pig sty. Older members of uncyc have become less active, and are paving the way for these rising stars to shine. Uh, speaking as myself? I've never been more proud of Uncyclopedia than I have in the last month or so. Keep it up, guys!

Check out these pages! Try winning this game U...N...P...R...O...V...I...S...E...! link link From our logs: 00:29, THEDUDEMAN (Talk | contribs) (uploaded a new version of "Image:483922.jpg": <3 you Zombiebaron! ) 20:10, 22 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.179.141.146 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (No means *no*) 06:21, 22 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked .cx (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Oh for fuck's sake) 05:30, 22 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Dunquin (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (The Irishg defence forces are a bunch of wankers who were dominated by the brits who are even greater wankers. They eat potatos, drink guinness and fight imaginery wars) 03:42, 22 June 2008 Hindleyite (Talk | contribs) blocked 217.54.74.232 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games. ) 12:42, 21 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Page blanker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I wonder if you realize just how easy your name makes it for me to permaban you...) 07:26, 23 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 124.170.144.245 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (You have been autoblocked by the Uncyclopedia penis-size-detector. Rylie, I'm afraid your penis is too small to edit Uncyclopedia. Please try again after puberty.) 08:48, 20 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Bl4nker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (LOL YOU BLANKED SOMETHING THAS SO FUNNIES. Now fuck off, eh?) 18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.231.38.117 with an expiry time of 1 week: (No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.) 14:59, June 25, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked KBD5196 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (I hope this ban log gets featured in the UnSignpost. Also, you are a wanking blanker. Or a blanking wanker. Whichever.) Gripe of the Week MantiBot, Yes a bot, this bot has been going around causing terrorism to articles in the form of interlinking. Not only does he support terrorism, he also supports the de-opping of TheLedBalloon who has been known to hate every foreign country that's not America on the Planet. What's worse, he isn't even properly marked as a bot. FU Mantiwhore! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Russian Adolf Hitler and the Crappy Translation Quote of the Week: "Listen, here's the story: The other night I saw Jackass the Movie 2 and they extracted sperm from a horse so one of the dudes could drink it. It was that moment when I realized how little I know about nature, or rather, animals and their private parts. You see, it turns out horsies have big ol' peepees, and the first picture I expertly designed was actually close to the reality, and I needed to start from scratch on a new picture. The result of that is what you see on the right, the one with the bigger censored penis." -So So

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:48, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

RE:Pee Review/Insomnia

Wow, that was fast, thanks! Your scoring seems fair enough (to be honest I think Yettie was trying to get in my pants again) and I'm glad you addressed length as that was something concerning me. Tenses though I did get Fag to look through it but I guess he missed them, have to ask again maybe as I'll just miss them again (except what you pointed out). I shall definitely sort out the things you mentioned and then I might put it on VFH (if nothing else for the sake of curiosity). Also I just noticed I'm in the unsignpost! and it's not the "username" thing! That's made my day that has. Thanks again! Have I given you one of these before?

I, Orian57, hereby award you with this fancy crab-hat (modeled by this lovely 16 year old) as I deem you in some way exceptional, although don't take this personally, I'm not well.

Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 10:30 29 June 2008

No worries, happy to do it when I can find the time. Would like to have done more reviews in the last couple of months, but that's the way it goes. No, I don't believe I've had a crab hat template. It goes into the place I reserve for all such stuff. --UU - natter 08:35, Jun 30

Hello Under user

Can you promote me please? Come on. I gave you women!!!!! – Preceding unsigned comment added by Satan. (talk • contribs)

/me rubs eyes. Hnurphgurph snurph, what now? Is this worth waking up for? --UU - natter 08:31, Jun 30

Thanks for Voting!

HEY, GUESS WHAT?! YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN A BURNING KNUCKLE OF THANKS!

...for voting on HowTo:Get Around In A Fighting Tournament.

Victoly for you!! - User:Hanyouman

---

- Hanyouman 15:30, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

Ah, I see.

(cont. from [1])

Do I have to do all this footwork myself or can I get help? 21655 15:32, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

All this footwork? It's what this place is about, dude! Writing is fun! Of course, there are people out there who enjoy collaborations, but it's really up to individual users if they want to pitch in and help people with stuff. If you find a user whose work you enjoy, ask them if they want to collab with you - most users are nice and friendly, so the worst you'll probably get is a "no, but good luck!" Or you could raise a pee review request, and if you're lucky, you'll get a good review from someone who can suggest ways to expand it first.

However, all these things tend to work best if you already have a few ideas in place - people tend to be more inclined to help if it doesn't look like you're asking them to do most of the work on your idea! So you don't have to do it all yourself, but it definitely helps to make a really good start. Good luck! --UU - natter 15:40, Jun 30

Eh, I'll let it die. Seems there's a duplicate... 21655 17:42, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

VFH

Hey, you wanted me to let you know when I was done with UnBooks:A Story, About a Man, that Comes to an Eventual Conclusion. I am, but I really didn't make too many changes. Mostly that last chapter got some new stuff, and got rid of a little bit. I think that chapter was really what was bothering me. It is an odd article, so its a little tough for me to get back into the mindset to write it. Anyway, I doubt the changes are enough for you to change your vote, which is fine. I'm happy with it, which is all I really need. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 15:15, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

I have TWO secretaries now!

One to answer questions and another to archive my talkpage! Also, Heat Death is like Evil which is like Riddle which is sorta like Mordor Jalapenos. THEY'RE ALL THE SAAAAAME!   Le Cejak • <14:37, 02 Jul 2008>

Yeah, but Riddle's one of the betterer versions, as I said ;-) Also: bored? Not got enough articles to vandalise? This is sort of new ish (OK, it's another re-write) and I reckon it would benefit from a 5-minute Cajeking. If you're busy or not inspired by it, no biggie, just thought I'd mention it. --UU - natter 15:28, Jul 2

Schoolean Algebra

Yah. I has time to write crap for the next week or so. I was wondering whether this could be fleshed out into a textbook style looking thing as my attempt to make an Unscripts/Mainspace hybrid seems to have failed? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:02, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

That could actually work very neatly, if you hit the right kind of stuffy academic tone. The idea and some of the jokes scream "feature in waiting", when you do nail the right style for it. --UU - natter 13:22, Jul 4

The idea is there, it is (as always) my writing letting it down :( ... but this will negate the need for such a dialog/explanation mixture. Thanks. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:26, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

As always? I think we've established your writing is very good - sometimes you need to try an idea different ways before you find the way it fits best. Speaking of which - this is something I think needs a little more fizz, but I can't provide it at the moment. I asked Cajek to take a look, but he's kinda easing off things (or he just didn't fancy it, whichever). Do you fancy seeing if you can add anything to it? Or at least giving me a suggestion of where I could add the sizzle? Maybe as a break from other stuff some time? No harm in asking, right? --UU - natter 13:31, Jul 4

Hmmm... it has an idea about a punishment from god but IMHO it feels kind of rushed. Like it is giving a college student voice on something that needs a different tone. It is very hard to make an article about an action, I know. This bit -

"After some discussion, it has been decided that this can be interpreted as an instruction for everything to quieten down. Therefore, it appears that during the act of spontaneous combustion, one's hearing is significantly enhanced. This is a scientific breakthrough of immense importance! Possibly if this can be controlled, it could be used in place of hearing aids - maybe if an individual were to mildly peeve God, their hearing may improve enough to be considered normal."

was the section that worked least within the article. It is already good though. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:47, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

UnLibrary

Sup? I've been working on the UnLibrary and now it's almost as colorful as my sig, erm just thought I'd run this version by you and see if I've missed a genre or something. It probably needs some poofreading too. It's just a preliminary thing really I still haven't categorized stuff or dug up old unbooks to put on the newly created shelves but, yeah. The introductions to the "shelves" I've tried to make both informative and funny and also not too restricting. Just let me know what you think, please? Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 09:31 5 July 2008

Tis good. Maybe we need a section for "good" books which have been featured (on the Main Page), with short blurbs, separate from the rest?... And a Featured UnBook that hasn't had as much recognition (not on the Main Page)? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 09:41, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

Yeah actually, that's a pretty good idea, like a mini "best of". Cool, thanks. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 09:47 5 July 2008

I only nipped on briefly this evening after a bugger of a busy day, so I only had a quick glance - I'll have a good look soon, but I like what I saw so far, and I like DJI's idea too. Proper response coming soon. Man, I'm shattered. --UU - natter 20:20, Jul 5

Happy UnBirthday!

Happy UnBirthday!

You have now officially been an Uncyclopedia

member for one full year. Must suck to be you!

---

I hate the capitalisation in that template. Anyways, congrats on being here for a year (especially without taking that much of a break, too)! ~~Heeren ["Meh"] [tecħ] [kurk] [5/07 13:01]

PARTY! /me pops out the champagne and cake - Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>)

QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

[13:09 5 July]

I concur! /goes back to sleep zzzzz Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 13:21 5 July 2008

Yeah! You're the only one to have turned one year old!!! >:((((((( RRRRRRrrrAAARRGGGHHH!! ME ANGRY! nah not really. :D   Le Cejak • <14:21, 05 Jul 2008>

Really? By crikey you're right. I think I'll celebrate by going to sleep. Did I mention I'm shattered? --UU - natter 20:24, Jul 5

twice. and twice you failed to link to insomnia. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 20:27 5 July 2008

UnderThanks

Hey, Under user. Steven would just like to thank you for the vote on his article relating to Insomnia. He really would but right now he's sleeping. Shhh don't wake him...

Thanks for the vote and thanks for the review too! And yettie keeps rubbing it in that he can update the list =( ...I wanna update the list! Also who do I talk to about getting my feature template, the blue one with potato head? Or will it just arrive sooner or later? Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 09:45 6 July 2008

Don't forget the proofread and tense correction! I helped! Also, for the template, just follow the time-honoured Uncyc tradition of swiping the code from someone's userpage and putting your own article title in it. Alternatively, don't bother with them (I personally don't like that template - you'll notice I have none on my userpage). As to the list, updating that thing is such a chore man, I want you to do it too! If you were a sneaky fellow, I'd tell you to make sure that you pick up and do good reviews for anyone who's a regular voter, to increase your chances of RotM. But you're not sneaky like that, are you? Oh dear lord, what have I done? --UU - natter 09:59, Jul 6

Ah, Ok cool! thanks. Oh and yeah thanks for the spelling grammar check, I meant to mention that I just forgot. sorry yes, thanks. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 10:21 6 July 2008

UU is the abbreviation for Unitarian Universalism

Grak! Verp 23:24, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

And for Unseen University. --UU - natter 06:59, Jul 7

Quick Question

He QQ, now UU...ha ha ha ha. Erm, Orian asked me to check this off on the list (and said he was slightly worried about the length). Personally I thought it was a bit too short, but it may be borderline and clearly effort and thought has gone in...so I was stopping by to check what you think. - [08:25 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

I don't see a major problem with it - he's taken time to read the article, given some constructive feedback, and so forth. TBH, a good review doesn't always need to be a YTTE/MDL 5-screen marathon (although those are, of course, very welcome), the main criteria I go by is: do I think they've given enough honest, helpful feedback for the author to work on their article with? As long as the answer is "yes", I'd say it's fine. The bad ones are normally fairly obvious, they're mainly the old "one or two lines per box" jobs. --UU - natter 09:32, Jul 7

Okey dokey! - [18:57 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

And while I'm here I better whore something quickly...I'm currently the user with the most reviews who has a 100% review to in-depth review rating. Yay, can I haz an award? :-) - [19:54 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

You mean apart from MDL? ;-) And what does it say up there in threatening red letters about whoring on this page? ;-) The deal is: get to 25 in-depth reviews, you get the {{Gold Urinal}}. Do a good job on the review for me, you get a template I haven't already given you. I call that fair, don't you? --UU - natter 20:02, Jul 7

God damn MDL! :-) Also, I can't see anything that's in red...you should no that by now! Also also: yessir, very fair, sir. Do you have another template apart from the cake one, sir? I wasn't sucking up...I was just using your official title! - [20:19 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

/hurt You never call me sir! Slut and turd buglar but never sir. *emotional moment* Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 20:22 7 July 2008

Yes I do, sir. - [20:29 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Thank you... *sniff*... *hugs* Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 20:31 7 July 2008

Urghhhhhhhhhh! Get off me! - [20:33 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

/SLAP! You're so insensitive! Bastard men! Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 20:42 7 July 2008

I have other templates. And if I run out, I can always make more. I prefer the personal touch, and don't like the Golden Shower much. Don't worry, if templates you want, templates you shall have. Long as you earn them, of course! Oh, and I've made a slight addition at the top there, just for you! --UU - natter 20:35, Jul 7

But edit conflicting is what Orian and I do best! Also...I have troubles with green, too. - [20:38 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

You better believe it: I once spent two entire days just being edit conflicted by these two (you guys, meaning YTTE and Orian, know what I'm talking about). ~~Heeren ["Meh"] [tecħ] [kurk] [7/07 20:43]

Yuh-huh! - [20:44 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

good times, good times. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 20:46 7 July 2008

What if he doesn't believe you? Will you do something nasty to him, oh mighty Hv? - [20:47 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Pah! Mighty, I've seen stronger rakes. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 20:51 7 July 2008

Troubles with green can also be dealt with... --UU - natter 20:49, Jul 7

Um....I can't see any colour (or lack there of) in the visible spectrum...Um...my eyes aren't too good. Also, Orian your rakes may be fine but your trowels are sub-par. - [20:55 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Never insult my trowels!!! *throws trowel* Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 20:57 7 July 2008

Oh know she's throwing things, again! Ahhh! Irony On UU's Talkpage: Section "Quick Question" - [21:01 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

I'm always watching

top of the morning to ya! ~ 09:35, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

Ah, spy network working like a well-oiled machine as ever then! Hope the start of another week finds you well. --UU - natter 09:40, Jul 7

Let me tell you this, I hate real estate agents. They should be all executed. ~ 09:49, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

No arguments here. Can we use any left-over bullets to deal with lawyers? --UU - natter 09:54, Jul 7

Didn't we drown them already alongside with the accountants? ~ 09:57, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

No, I pitched the accountants in a duel to the death with the traffic wardens. You know the AvP tagline "Whoever Wins, We Lose"? it's kinda like that, but we win instead. --UU - natter 10:04, Jul 7

I'm reading "Good Omens" right now, you know that one? I'm starting to think that a little apocalypse isn't such a bad idea. ~ 11:02, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

Know it? It's one of my favourites. I don't know how far you are in to it, but without spoiling anything, I think the intervention of the other 4 horsemen bikers of the apocalypse around here would liven things up a little. "I'm sodding not, I'm people covered in fish". --UU - natter 11:10, Jul 7

I'm intrigued. Who is this book by? Sounds like the sort of thing I'd like. Sorry for the intrusion... Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 11:47 7 July 2008

Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. I recommend it to anyone, it's a very funny read. --UU - natter 12:04, Jul 7

Oh Terry Pratchett, I've heard of him. Got a friend that reads him religiously, with any luck I wont have to buy the book I just don't have the money!. Thanks, U.U.! Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 12:09 7 July 2008

It's damn excellent really. I don't care what they say in this damn machine, I never took him. ~ 12:37, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

And then Papa Bear said "I think we should eat him..."

Prettiestpretty thanks you for finding Goldilocks and the Three Bears. to be just right for VFH Fondly, PP

Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 15:38, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

A new section for a new topic...

Hey, UU! Could I ask you a quick favour? Favour spelt with a u? I know you love your grammar and stuff (which kool)...so (since UN:PS is pretty dead and quite slow) could you have a quick grammatical run through of this? Also if you have any quick ideas/suggestions they'll be much appreciated. Thanks. - [21:00 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

As I said on Orian's page, probably tomorrow. Mrs UU is standing over me tapping her foot ominously. That's a very bad sign. So I'm offski for tonight. --UU - natter 21:02, Jul 7

Okay....have non-computerised-fun (yeah, like that can happen)... I think I'm actually going to nom this for feature (as you may have seen on Orian's talkpage I'm a bit impatient when it comes to things like that). P.S. I never knew there was a Mrs. UU! Hi Mrs. UU! - [21:06 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

She sounds pretty much like Mordillia. Only that one doesn't tap her foot, she smacks me on the back of the head. Serving in the military does that to women. ~ 22:36, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

ANOTHER Yettie Message!

You've Been OrianYettied!

That's right, you've offically been ravaged by Yettie and Orian...unlucky you!

Woo...at least you wern't ravaged to within an inch of your life, like Hv was! - [22:13 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

I wish you'd stop using that word. Life, it's like you're rubbing it in... Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 22:15 7 July 2008

Sorry, I know how you feel about that stuff! - [22:17 7 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Woaaaah, far out!

This is a haiku Thanking you for voting For On this article

-RAHB 23:09, 7 July 2008 (UTC)