User talk:Under user/Archive 8

Does this count?

If I despoil my own page, does it count? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:55, May 16

Ewwwww INCEST!!!! RIGHT HERE YEP

HERE --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:01, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

6 minutes. I'm vaguely disappointed. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:08, May 16

Meanie --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:16, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

Re: You busy at the moment man?

Well, overall, things are going all right. I have been busy in real life, exams, tests, and real life commitments. There WAS the small matter of getting whacked between the legs with a golf club last Wendsday, but... meh Warm Regards, Javascap

Waves

o.O hey! what's a catch like you doing in a place like this? Whoreing? thought so. I'm bored, you're here, hi! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 12:35, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

er, completely ignoring you, it appears! Sorry, don't normally ignore people - must have had some kind of blind spot to this section of my talk page. I blame this new high-fibre diet I'm on. Or something. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:48, May 21

haha, it's okay :P Happens to me sometimes. Yeah, it's always the diets..my last one made me edit uncyc uncontrolably. Good luck with that. What's going on? The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 13:32, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

Ah, reverting, editing, tweaking, occasionally actually doing what I'm paid for. You? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:34, May 21

I'm um, being unproductive. Writing poetry actually. About my dedication to uncyc. haha. serious. The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 15:25, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

Thankies

Pyotr Kuznetsov Says: "Thank You For Voting!" Pyotr Kuznetsov would be here himself, but what with his psychiatric treatment and all, he sent Dora to convey this message. Oh wait, Dora's dead! Oh well. Anyway, thanks for voting for this!

Please accept the preceding generic template as a sign of my gratitude, Under user. - 08:14 17 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

the list... again

Instead of just giving you this template:

I have decided to post-emptively feature you as the biopic of the week, May 15th 2008. WOW! ...WWWOOOOWWWW!   Le Cejak • <May 18, 2008 [4:19]>

Wow, two whole loads of nothing. Truly, I am blessed! Yeah, I saw the bio thingy before you told me about it the first time. How did you get it so accurate? I thought I'd been pretty good at concealing my secret identity, but you must have talked to my mum or something. Ya fecking numpty! -SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 09:29, May 18

RC-specific edit summaries

I'm probably the only person who actually reads 'em, but nevertheless, reading stuff like that really helps stave off boredom at points where there's nought to do. Also, as Cajek, thanks for doing the list while the rest of us keep slacking off! (I still haven't done a review dammit, it's all this new-fangled "writing" getting in the way!) —– Sir Hv » | Talk | Contribs | KUN | UotM | RotM | VFH | Kidney | 18/05 17:08

Eh, I always appreciate the occasional funny edit summary when I see 'em myself, so I try to remember to occasionally chuck one in. Unless I think Ljlego is watching, in which case I never say more than "blah" or "vote"! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:31, May 19

Thanks for Vote

Thanks for voteing for my article;)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 07:53, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

You, You, You, U, U, Bastard!

Well, I thought I would sneak onto Uncyc... Just on the off chance that there might be some poopsmithing to do... And GRrrgRRRgRR! Edit conflict! Lolz. That's the first time that's actually happened. I was right in the middle of saving, and grrr. You beat me to it. ;-). Awesome dude. You hardly leave me with anything to do on VFD these days. :-(. Which is awesome. Congratulations. :). Hea, my boss is coming! Quick, hide the poop! Oh, you already did... Looks like finally the UK has found something it's good at. Emptying the bins... HeHe... Catch you later Sir. MrN 09:04, May 19

General tidy up stuff is part of my regular morning routine these days - while things are dull at work, out comes the shovel! Good to see you around a bit more again man, it was a strange place without you! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 09:12, May 19

Don't you wish it to be Friday already?

That Monday thing is a nasty business it is. ~ 10:19, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Actually, I wish it was a week on friday, because that weekend, I'm going paintballing to celebrate my mum's 60th birthday! Let's hear it for running round shooting paint pellets at family and friends - woo! I will be totally de-stressed the following monday! However, on a more general level, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Monday is teh suxxorz. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:24, May 19

That's simply the best birthday idea I heard in a very long time! My dad's 60th is coming up in a couple months, but I'll be damned if I take him out for paint balling, him being an ex commando officer. I'll be dead before I hit the ground.~ 10:27, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Heh, I went paintballing once with air cadets, and one of the staff had been in action in the Falklands. We had to ban him from the last 2 games so any of us could have a change of winning - the only time we knew he was there was when he shot us from close range! Meantime, if you're bored, you could always contribute a bad lyric or two! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:33, May 19

Nattering Numpties

Platinum Pisser

Rejoice! Your colossal achievement of completing over 50 in-depth pee reviews has been recognised with the provision of this luxury micturitional accessory. You will be the envy of your friends. Or you would be, if you hadn't ignored them for ages while you were reviewing.

---

I present you with this award that you created, in the tradition of weird things that seem to happen to you!   Le Cejak • <May 20, 2008 [13:30]>

Gah! Placing an award I created on my own awards page? That's gonna look like vanity. Can I do it? /me wrestles with conscience, then gets distracted by mirror - heyy! Lookin' good!. What the hell, on it goes! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:52, May 21

heh /me looks at same mir- aww it broke :( --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:25, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

A little request

Cheerio Underuser, I translated a template from German Uncyclopedia (see Template:Religion founders) and if you feel like it I would be very glad if you could do a little proofreading. It's not such a big thing but might be worth it. Thanks in any case. NaturalBornKieler 13:48, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

Hi NBK, happy to whisk the proofread brush through an article. Don't know if I'll get time today, but will do it as soon as I can! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:32, May 21

Just had a look: seemed fine to me. I changed "Sunna" to "Sunni" - I think Sunni is the branch of Islam, while Sunna means something else in Islam. Could be wrong. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:51, May 28

UnSignpost: May 22nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

May 22th, 2008 • Issue 4 • Par 6

Oldest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered Renowned Uncyclopedia historian Spangle Gay Glittersprinkles, has discovered the oldest non-Uncyclopedia related article ever written. "The fact that pie was the first article really opened my eyes. It really did. I see it all now: Uncyclopedia, Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia... the construction and future of these wikis have been laid out before me." When asked what he meant, Spang said that, upon reading the first version of the article Pie, the future of Uncyclopedia was revealed to him. The version presently up is "but a pale shadow of what it once was." The fabled first version of the article is, according to Spang and fellow UnArcheologist TheLedBalloon, "The DaVinci Code of Uncyclopedia." One of the oldest contributors, 68.237.62.152, is said to be the creator of the fabled text, but could not be reached for comment... maybe 'cuz he was gettin' laid or somethin' cool like that. "If only the original version had survived!" Said Spang's lead balloon, who gained sentience upon glimpsing the article. "I want to know the significance of the Norris! The secret meaning behind the Wilde! The hidden power of the grue! I want to know the secret of the memes!" "First of all, how did a balloon become an administrator? Oh, right, this is Uncyclopedia." Said long-missing founder Chronarion. "Second of all, the current article you have up there is, although not as mystical, still sorta mystical... For example, look at that quote at the top! CLASSIC Oscar Wilde!" Questions arose as to why the original version was deleted in the first place, but Chronarion, who only made an appearance in one of our writer's drug trips, merely cackled, turned into a tomato, and vanished in a cloud of LULZ!!1. The mystery surrounding Pie continues, and Uncyclopedian historians are still seeking the truth. ...BUY A SUBSCRIPTION TO UNSIGNPOST to see further developments! Following Third Issue, UnSignpost Wins All Sortsa Awards n' Shit At the annual Uncyclopedia Signpost awards banquet, held every year in Dr. Skullthumper's backyard, the Signpost was the clear winner of the night, garnishing all 149 awards in all 144 categories. The press was not invited to the gala, but the Unsignpost has heard that several Uncyclopedia celebrities were at the event. Mike - you know Mike - said, "Oh yeah, we got Chronarion and Save the... whatever it was... We got 'em all! We even had Famine! Even though he still hates us, he still bothered to show up and drunkenly berate the guests! In fact, I think he's still in there, berating the furniture!" Unsignpost writers all agree that it's not pathetic to give yourself an award once in a while. We do our chores! We've been kicked around! Why don't we, the writers, get any recognition? The special boobie-prize, The Feel Okay About Ourselves Award for 2008, was accepted by Cajek on behalf of the writers instead of a paycheck. "Finally I get a god damned award." One of the writers dramatically grabbed the award away onstage and, crying, started screaming at the award itself. "WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?!? YOU BASTARD!!" Unsignpost is planning to make the awards banquet biweekly, in honor of the fact that the writers are extremely lonely, and just want a way to talk to loads of people without having to listen to "feedback". Newest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered Although searching through relics was fun for the Indiana-Jonesish stylings of more techie-minded Uncyclopedians, the Unsignpost has, all by itself!!, made a new discovery. Yes, the newest article, Jacob Zuma, created just at the time of this writing, is the newest article to date. No! Wait! It's RETARDIS. Wait, no, it's Broomstick. Oh whatever, the point is that we found it, and when it's deleted in three seconds, Unsignpost gets first gloating rights.

Check out these pages! Spang is Gay! The Monkey Spankers Complete Collection In Another Wiki, Far Far Away From our logs: 07:04, May 16, 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked 134.225.176.229 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Uh oh! Don't mess with Grant Whitaker Island! Or whatever it is you said! ) 19:28, March 18, 2007 Famine (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Come back when you have more tools in your bag) 12:37, May 17, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (NO U. Also, LOL coming back to blank after a one year ban) Biopic of the Week Example ~ The standard Uncyclopedia user, Example has never read HTBFANJS, has created hundreds of stupid forum topics that make no sense, and has bothered dozens of admins without being annoying enough to be banned. Although he/she/it has no opinions or original ideas, he/she/it has still managed to produce dozens of deleteable articles. Truly, Example is an example for us all... get it? GET IT?! Rorschach Inkblot Response of the Week: "HOW DARE YOU SHOW THAT TO ME!!" (slaps psychologist) "You're just like my two mothers: every Easter they do that to me... WHY???" Reason for Leaving Uncyclopedia of the Week: 8. Not enough users leaving. Horrifying Disease of the Week: The Genital Migration Virus ~ Normally found only in the most remote regions of the Congo, GMV has now "migrated" to the general populous. It can be transferred only by physical or emotional contact. There is, as of yet, no "known" cure for GMV, because Unsignpost's writers are keeping the vaccine secret until the government... well, we've said too much. Retraction of the Week: We at Unsignpost are sorry. In our last issue we stated that "slavery was kewl" and that "the Yankees will never take it away from us." Apparently, we were wr- wro... wwwrrrrr- I can't say it!! Letter of the Week: This week's UnSignpost was brought to you by the letter "U". Because without it, we wouldn't be able to spell "UnSignpost", let alone the sexiest of all U words, "undulate". Reason for staying at Uncyclopedia of the Week: 73. Can't find the door, no thanks to {{welcome}}.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 20:20, 22 May 2008 (UTC)

Official PoopSmithing business

I just had a thought. Yes, that's two this year already... Like me, I expect that you have noticed that the Uncyc admins have not always been diligent in the past when it has come to adding the VFD kept template to the talk pages of kept articles. Although you can find out if a nomination has been made before by checking the "what links here" of the page and looking for entries on a VFD archive page I think you will agree that this is not ideal. Why is MrN going on about this? Well... I can't help but think that this is something which us fellow smiths of poop should sort out. I have been thinking about if there would be an easy way to get a bot to do it, but as the system has changed a few times (with the new VFDc), and the need to check the histories of pages (a newly created page might actually not be the same page as one which was kept). I think there are also some other special cases, and we could end up with duplicates if done wrong by a bot. Basically, I think we would have to do it manually. Would you fancy helping out with this? Maybe we could split it up such that I check the odd numbered archive pages, and you check the even ones? I think most people would agree that I'm more odd than you, so I guess that would make sense. If you're busy with other stuff, that's cool, but I thought I would ask as well... As you know, I'm a lazy bastard. MrN 12:48, May 23

Interesting, I was thinking about doing something along those lines, but wasn't sure I could be bothered to... Hmm, well with a bank holiday looming, I may have some free time... I'll give it a go, see how far I get. I'll keep track of my progress in the memory section of my userpage, if you want to keep tabs on how far I've got, if at all. Are we suckers for punishment or what? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:53, May 23

What, wot? It's been needing to be done for a while me thinks. I guess it does not really matter how long it takes to do... I'll take the high road you take the low odd numbered pages, you take the even. :-). MrN 15:40, May 23

Pailing Fence pic?

Do you have it still, because I need it for a picture on here. Thanks --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:55, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

Like the base fence pic you used on that Mordor/Sauron pic thingy for Cajek --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:57, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

Uh, not really. The pic for Cajek was a bit of a cheat, as I had to re-use the same short section of fence over and over again, and it's only saved at that very small size. Could possibly scare one up for you later, if you let me know how big and what style you're after. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:01, May 23

kk. Upload that piece please. might be enough, might not :D --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:08, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

One gif with transparent background uploaded at Image:Mordor fence.gif for you. Hope it helps, but doubt it will. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:15, May 23

Ta

For the pic on Why?:Won't that damn CD player play my vinyls?. It was just what the article needed to get it over the hump (and I've never really had a good image in an article, I've always over-relied on captions, so this is good), so thanks again! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 23/05 15:39

Rhonda's Gospel

SysRQ said that you enjoy having a jolly good pretzel on his talk page. he also said that you would like my gospel. Visit User:Rhonda/Gospel if you wanna stay high. Rhonda 01:34, 24 May 2008 (UTC)

Thanks

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Thank you for your work keeping up the survived VFD templates. Slithy Tove 07:07, 27 May 2008 (UTC)

Humph

Hello Under user, This was going to be a thanks for making Orian57 attending template but then some bum said no and i didn't get the title so basically i'd still like to thank you for the support. and maybe next time. or when RotM comes round. This may not have been the best picture to use as the man in it stole kidneys for a living. That was Boomers reasoning not my grammer.

Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog| 10:34, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Ah ha, I tricked you

for you did not expect "us" to put your bad lyric generator in the newest unsignpost. Surrender now!   Le Cejak • <16:22, 28 May 2008>

And thanks to {{username}} I've been the "biopic of the week" twice. Twice, I tells you! But no, I didn't expect that. I rarely expect anything. I'm so simple and naive and trusting. That seems to endear me to those nice old men I meet with their big bags of yummy sweets. Sorry - "Candy". That nice Candy I meet, with her big bag of sweets. Or something. Anyway, glad you seem to appreciate it, now how about adding a bad lyric to it? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:22, May 29

UnSignpost: May 29nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Proudly supporting editorial independence whenever the board say it's okay

May 29th, 2008 • Issue 5

Uncyclopedia Second Most Active Wikia Site According to local Wikia staffmember Sannse, Uncyclopedia is the second most active site, next to Halopedia. "Yep. People are more interested in Halos than Uncys. I've never really bothered to look at either site, so I'm not sure why one is more active than another, but I'm sure it's because Halopedia is superior." Reporters on-site have looked into the rumors. Apparently, Halopedia is in fact not about halos, but instead is an entire wiki... devoted to a video game. "Oh lord, this is embarrassing," said Master Chief, the main character of said video games. "I thought I could keep this under wraps for a while longer, but you people in the press are like fucking vultures. WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!" Apparently Halopedia's nearest competitor, Uncyclopedia, is some kind of "humor wiki" meant to induce laughter. "Uncyclopedia's laughter is nothing compared with ours," said Evilpedia's founder, User:Dr. Doom, "Our laughter will ring all throughout Wikia, and then: THE WORLD!". Other statistics include the nerdiest wiki and Furwiki, the most disturbing wiki. Uncyclopedia is neither the largest wiki (Wookiepedia), nor the most active (Halopedia), but it does come very close to first in both categories. Who wants to be first place anyway? Nobody wants to win all the time! Like Unsignpost's father used to say: "You learn more from losing than winning!" and really, that's all that matters! ...AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! BASTAAAARRRDDSSS!!! Following Fourth Issue, UnSignpost Does Lame Clip Show After having not seen his boss for a few days, Cajek, or as his friends call him, "Cuntjek", and his team of writers have been forced to rely on past issues and a clip show in article form. "Don't look at us that way!" said that one guy we were talking about. "A few days ago, when Skull was around, I was only editor of the fetish section, now I'm in charge of the whole thing. Jeez, I hope Skull is okay..." The lame clip show was said to be almost entirely from the first issue, when the Unsignpost was "cool", and before the fetish section took over the whole paper. According to reports to this newsroom, the clip show article included the "weekbox of the week" from issue 1 that instructed Cajek and Skull to slather humor juice on an anonymous reader, and the "Goatse Challenging Gap" from issue 2. "Oh shit, what else we got?" Carjack screamed across the newsroom. As of this issue, the huge portrait of Dr. Skullthumper has been prayed to for nigh two weeks since his mysterious disappearance. Fnoodle, who usually serves coffee to the writers (albeit very angrily), has gone on a quest to find his former master. So far, no word of Skullthumper's whereabouts have reached the press. Serious: Dr. Skullthumper is a good friend, and I see him as an outgoing, clever guy, and I'm sure he will succeed in whatever he chooses to do while he's gone. -Cajek Letters to the Editor I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of God for you to help me and my family, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly. My family and I are true Christian's and worship's God truthfully. I got your contact through Internet during my research on some one who could help us. I am a female student from University of Nigeria, Lagos. I am suitable yrs old. I'd like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction. Well, my father died earlier two months ago and left my mother I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him before his death. I was a Princess to him and I and my brother are the only people who can take Care of his wealth now because my mother is not literate enough to know all my father's wealth behind. He left up to USD $27,350,000.00 dollars (TWENTY SEVEN MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND US DOLLAR) with a security company, and I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town. That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact which I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me secure and invest this money. I thereby need your help in bringing the box contaning the money out from the security company, based on your reply I will furnish you with more details on how we can proceed. I am ready to pay 10% of the total amount to you if you help us in securing this money and another 10% interest of Annual Income to you, for handling this business for us, which you will strongly have absolute control over. If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund, kindly reach me and I will let you know the next step to take towards actualizing this transaction as quickly as possible. Please, note that this transaction is 110% risk free. I look forward hearing from you soonest. Yours sincerest, Miss Lady Princess Irreverent Dear Princess, We at the Unsignpost are interested in your offer, but have no money. Could you please send us some? You could be in on an offer to make up to $27,237,84661 monies! Your Sincerestly, The Unsignpost.

Check out these pages! A Horrible Vision of the Future A Horrible Vision of a Puppet-Based Future Chinese Oscar Wilde and the Crappy Translation Somewhat Controversial Uncyclopedia:Wikipedia From our logs: 15:46, May 24, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Lil selina (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Hahahaha, it's funny 'cause now there's no content on those pages!!!!) 23:58, May 25, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HA) 08:38, May 27, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.36.41.10 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (love men FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK F) Biopic of the Week <insert name here> ~ Yes, we at UnSignpost have decided to do a biopic on YOU. YOU came to Uncyclopedia two weeks ago with little more than a dream and 45 bucks (or 30 pounds, if you're not American). YOU are what makes Uncyclopedia The Place To Be according to Home and Garden magazine. Without YOU, we wouldn't have that amazing article on stoats you wrote in 15 minutes. God bless you, {{USERNAME}}! UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: Bishy Barnabee. One for the coccinellidae fans amongst you - it's the loveable Ladybug! While the rest of the UK distances themselves from America by calling it a Ladybird, in Norfolk, they distance themselves from reality with this rather quaint expression. Slip it into conversation and impress your friends with your new-found linguistic diversity! (Why is it called that? Fuck knows, they're mad in Norfolk, quite, quite mad!) Unsignpost Founder of the Week: ...Uh, that one guy... you remember, right? He had a "doctor" theme going on? He left for a while recently? Well, anyway, he's busy with college stuff for now, and won't be back for a month or so. As soon as we find out his name, we'll get back to you. Animal of the Week: Stoat ~ Mentioned 12 times in this issue of Unsignpost, and at least one time in the Biopic of the fifth edition of the Unsignpost, the stoat was one of the largest carnivorous dinosaurs on Earth. Weighing in at 5 grams, the stoat has made its impression on human evolution, not only by eating humans but in other, far more disturbing ways. Template of the Week: The bad lyric generator ~ Make love, like a man, I'm a man, that's what I am! - Def Leppard Last Minute Box of the Week: First of all, let me just say that we at the Unsignpost didn't plan this box very well. Oh sure, it has nice wikicodes on it that make it colorful, but really it's just smoke and mirrors. Not to discredit our tireless staff! They work round the clock to ensure... oh who am I kidding! They're such fucking MOOCHERS. GET OFF MY COUCH, YOU RETARDS! And now for a week box more to YOUR liking: Pole Dancer of the Week: Sparkle ~ Working as a pole dancer five nights a week at The Wink and Tickle down the street, Unsignpost's senior medical correspondent enjoys suing because of a "hostile work environment" and "tickling". Soon to be promoted to senior editor, this little number is distracting EVERYONE in the newsroom!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 03:02, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Something to do with cows

Join The CMC! Make Your Inner Cow Happy!

Moo, Under user!

What is it about cows that gets us all hot and bothered? Where do cows come from? What are cows?

These are the questions that drive the Cow Moo Cult and its brethren, who are very, VERY interested in cows and cow by-products.

The CMC is devoted not only to cows, but to helping Uncyclopedia through general acts of goodness and through motivating people with cow-treats and the like.

So, Under user, why not join the CMC? It's free (unless you count virginity as money) and it's fun (and it's full of clichés)! You'll get a pretty template for your userpage and a nice title for your signature! What could be better? Sign Up Now!

'Double moos from your cowy friend,
Tayor

It's a wonderful association filled with joy and cowdome! What a bovine masterpiece! Join now! (yay whoring! :P) The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 17:03, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Er Tayor, UU isn't the person I'd have chosen to whore too...when he gets angry he has a tendency to bite people's heads off, also you haven't quite got the wiki formatting right for this beautiful whore template me and Cajek created (have a quick read of this, tells ya how to do it legally). But to UU: JOIN and don't bite my head off! - [17:14 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Biting heads off? Me? When? Show me documentary evidence? I quote MrN: "I have never seen UU being confrontational" and I'll bite the head off anyone who doesn't agree with that! ;-) That said, I don't really have time for most of the user-run groups around here - I successfully avoided an UNSOC invite, didn't sign up to the Grue Army, kept well away from whatever Ggarfield's odd "Nofu" thing was... PEEING has a point, a specific point, and one I agree with, so I'm in that. But other stuff? Not my cup of tea, guv. Have fun and stuff, but the only Cult I'm involved with are blasting out "She Sells Sanctuary" on my MP3 player! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 08:06, May 29

Er...I guess we'll leave you too that, and run off before you bite our heads off. :-) - [09:17 29 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

:/ this is upsetting.The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 00:37, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

Pee

Hey, UU! I was just dropping by because I noticed with my last review you commented "fine" on the Cajek's list. I was just wondering whether by "fine" you meant "it's just okay" or "it's good". Cause I want to try and keep up my review standards I wanted to know (that is, if you did mean "it's just okay") if you have any suggestions to improve my peeing technique! Thanks in advance! :-) - [12:32 29 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Nah, I meant it's fine! I tend to make more comments if I'm not taken with a review. And if I think your standards are slipping, I'll let you know, don't worry! (But without biting your head off, natch!) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:41, May 29

Oh okay, that's good to know. And UU, you know my head is always there for your biting-off-pleasure. - [12:46 29 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

My sig, it is DIFFERENT!

After you left that short, sweet, and friendly message on my talk page, I took the liberty of changing my signature up a little bit... check it out! Warm Regards, ▀ĴαVắśСąР▀ 19:27 29 days since October began

Pee...

Hey UU (I hope you don't consider this whoring) I think I'm finally going mad . For some reason I thought I'd already asked you on your talk page about this...but I obviously didn't! Anyway, I put up Wikipedia Main Page on pee review a little while ago but it hasn't being getting much attention (since there is so much stuff on the pee request list thing at the moment). I was wondering if you'd have the time to review it? I don't think I've had the pleasure of one your pees yet (flattery always works, doesn't it?) - [17:09 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Madness and insanity I tells ya! Don't worry SysRq's got it! - [09:10 31 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Re: Reviews

Sure thing i will check that out! Thanks for telling me by the way about the pee review guidelines. --Dr. Fenwick 03:51, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

No worries Doc, it's good to see you around! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:05, Jun 2

A small ramble

Just saying thanks for the nom on UotM, it's really appreciated. I don't currently have the cranial capacity to make a template, nor do I want to go round spamming eighteen talk pages, so I thought a small note would be better. You're one of the people I really look up to on here, so for you to make that call meant even more to me. Thanks again, hope you're enjoying your vacation! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 1/06 07:58

Hoo-flamin'-ray! You got it! You should have beaten me to it last time out, in my opinion. You're a good man, a good writer, and a damn helpful chappie. About time you got the recognition! (And no-one should look up to me - I'm under a manhole ferchrissakes, you really have to go some to be looking up at one of those!) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:07, Jun 2

You have to stop saying I should have won April UotM! You're an integral part of this site, it'd probably collapse without you. You've been doing stuff for much longer than noobish me (seriously, I have like two-three months of experience, you have almost a year!). There's no way I deserved it other you. Hell, if VFS goes through this month (which it probably will, its normally about -7 by now), I'd have you as about second favourite to get opped. What I'm saying is, you massive underrate yourself by saying that, stop being so modest! In other words, this is now eight lines of code long, so it officialy qualifies as a ramble. Which is good. (Congrats on the WotM noms by the way! That's the kind of thing that seems like "Woah, that guy's good" to young'uns like myself). ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 2/06 20:10

F***

√ Under user 165 164 --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 09:44, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Heh, I saw that. Good use of exaggeration for effect, I'd call it. Of course, if I do complete that many reviews, it will definitely merit some kind of swearing - I'm actually on 117 and roughly 112 at the moment. (A few of my very first reviews, before El Jek ever thought of the list, were not that great). Still, 165 - that's something to aim for, I guess. That would be the final proof that I have no life, and never will! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:11, Jun 2

You can has WotM? Well I'll just paddle upstream, holding your torch to the WotM flame... --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:51, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Nah, no chance! I'm a way off WotM - for one, I tend to leave long gaps between articles, so people forget I've done other stuff. For two, I haven't done anything as good as Campaign Leaflet, the Olympics thing, the economy wotsit or that UnBook of yours... Getting on for twice the age, getting on for half the talent! ;-) And you'd have got my vote, but I do think it's an injustice that UnIdiot's got so many features and hasn't won yet. Still, if you win, it will be richly deserved. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:27, Jun 2

UnNews:NASA starts preparations for fake manned Mars landing

Thanks, the idea hit me out of thin air when I saw the original footprint pictures and the rest just fell into place. Cheers! NaturalBornKieler 10:46, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Mr. UU?

Are you still about? -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:35, 2 Jun

For a given value of "about". --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:45, Jun 2

I went ahead and made a South Psrk pic of myself. The problem is, since I don't have photoshop or anything resembling it, I had to save it as a .doc file. Any clues on how to convert it to a type o' file that Uncyc approves of? -72.24.227.116

Whoops - totally missed that one, this is what happens when you get a whole slew of messages. Anyway, I think MS Paint may be able to do something for you. Most PCs come equipped with it, I believe. Failing that, the GIMP online image editor software is quite handy, I believe (I'd be a tad careful if searching for that though...) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:38, Jun 4

Your request has been fulfilled...

Epic meh.

Please proceed to the checkout promptly, where our lovely assistant is waiting to help you. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 2/06 15:10

Supoib. Thanx --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:15, Jun 2

Yes, me need help

With properly cropping this one?

I iz wearing armored admin suit

~ 16:46, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Hello, U.U.

Orian57 in all his 2D glory

mememme me memmememme memmmemm emme memmm mememmmeee --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:22, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

For one reason or the other I have almost everbodies userpages on my watch list and have noticed you going round asking people for a South Park cartoon of themselves for your gallery. While I wasn't asked I decided to take the liberty of creating one as I quite like the idea of a gallery of the regular users. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 17:24 2 June 2008

Thanx. However, this is just for my amusement really. I was going to get around to asking you, mind (in fact, I'm slightly surprised I didn't). If it's a gallery of regulars you're after, there's always this. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 20:30, Jun 2

Oh ok, sorry I just presumed. well you know, I think it's a good idea anyway. Have fun with it! Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 20:41 2 June 2008

The epicness of this picture doesn't even get close to expressing my abundance of natural beauty

Beware, all ye mighty, the astonishing good looks of JAVASCAP!!!

I added my picture... what do you think? Warm Regards, ▀ĴαVắśСąР▀00:32 June 10 2008

This has absolutely nothing to do with South Park...

...I don't lie. That's me, that is. I controversially replaced the "COWS!" text on my shirt with a union jack... - [17:47 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Looks up... This whole thing brings fun formatting in doesn't it? ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 2/06 17:51

Fun, fun, fun... - [17:57 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Indeed, plenty of fun. Now, who should I get next? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:25, Jun 3

Nice toy. Added my image as well, and I was startled how close it was to my everyday appearance in the end. Cheers! NaturalBornKieler 13:54, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Welcome template

Hi there thanks for that information. Was wondering do you know how to become an admin on this site? Steward2007 11:23, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Already answered this question for you on Led's talk page. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:25, Jun 3

Take a look at the Village Dump and click on the Nhs and humanbeings scribblewiki and read it and see if it is ok and then sign up for the site and I will grant you Sysop access. Steward2007 12:13, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Thanks - but not being an admin on here takes up enough of my time as it is! ;-) Good luck with that though, I'm sure you'll get some kind of response in the Dump. Be prepared though - most responses on here tend to be in jest, and as such, may not look like the kind of responses you're after. Just our way, you understand! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:17, Jun 3

Pee Review Problem

Hey, I have run into a somewhat majour problem with my Pee Review. Would you slide over to here and help me figure out what the hell is going on? Warm Regards, ▀ĴαVắśСąР▀ 19:27 October 3 2024 NOTE: I am also running over to Cajek about this problem...

I don't see what the problem is... from a quick glance it looks fine   Le Cejak • <16:51, 03 Jun 2008>

That's because I've just fixed it. It was spilling the whole Pee Review table code because Javascap forgot to close a link. Fine now though. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 3/06 16:52

Tut Javascap, you like to spill code around! You did it in your sig, too! :-) - [16:53 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

This is precisely the kind of problem I like: the kind that gets fixed while I'm playing football and nowhere near it. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 20:08, Jun 3

Late thanks!

Thanks, son! But Uncle Sam didn't thank me! All you bastards can GO TO HELL!! Eh, got any change, son? I sure hope no one writes an incredibly offensive article about me. Wait, where ya goin, son? Thanks for voting for Veteran.

~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:45 Jun 3

I herd u liek pee revooz?

Do your worst... not literally because I want a decent review but... you get it. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:48, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

OK, I'm on it. Have a little patience, I'll have to do it at home, so that'll be a few hours yet. My big mug o' reviewin' strength tea is at home - the stuff they have at work is weak as piss... --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:54, Jun 4

Bleh. If you are feeling up to it I have improved on what Cajek said. Still my syntax is appalling and no matter how many essays/homeworks/articles I write it never improves :( I just suck at it. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:36, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Heh, I'm in the middle of reviewing it right now. However, bearing in mind your comments, I'll pay a little more attention to the prose... --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:40, Jun 6

Thanks! Yeah I kind of realize that after reading over it. The idea is it mixes an encyclopedic article with an UnScript to form some kind of horribly despicable monster seminar kind of deal. A ridiculous seminar that blends intelligence with stupidity and so on and so forth - Problem is it is fucking hard to get a mid point between a script and an encyclopedic article (Me trying to push writing boundaries again :/). Reading over it I can see where it falters; the professor does sound forced (mainly because I have never been to a true lecture/seminar kind of deal) and the section with the girl supposedly solving the problems just doesn't scan. Problem is I have hit a wall in how to make it sound more believable. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:47, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

I think it's possible to nail this one, but it will take some working on it to really get the best from it. My usual suggestion in such a case is to walk away from it for a day or two, and come back to it. If you leave it completely, sometimes you find you come back with fresh ideas. Of course, sometimes you come back to exactly the same problem, but that's the way of things. Otherwise, as I said, I'm happy to take a dash through and see what I can do, although I make no promises. But I'm fine if you don't like that idea. Whatever, I hope you do finish this one off - I'd like to think it will end up as another DJI winner! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:30, Jun 6

Ok. Just asking, which is the best part so I can tailor the the tone of the article around it? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 15:50, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

HAI TANX!

HEY THANKS, template whore!!! I don't even care if you voted for any of my articles, I'm giving you this in response to the template YOU spammed on MY page! MUAHAHAHA!

THAT'LL learn ya.   Le Cejak • <16:02, 04 Jun 2008>

UnSignpost: June 5th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now With 0 Trans Fat!

June 5th, 2008 • Issue 6

Sixth Issue Relies on Guest Writers For the sixth issue of Unsignpost, guest writers from outside the fold have been chosen to write a bunch of stupid crap. Among them are the illiterate administrator Zombiebaron and reformed drug mule ThePaleOne. The community's outcries were heard soon afterwards, probably. Jack Phoenix, a respected Wikia staff member, said of one of the articles "Nobody cares about Cajek trolling Wookiepedia anymore. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed of Uncyclopedia for doing something like this. It's like I'm at a well-written version of ED." The Unsignpost staff, full of miscreants and malcontents, hung its collective head in shame and went to the corner for a sit down. Qua, who wanted to be in this issue of Unsignpost to whore his userpage, issued a statement at the press conference located at his Mayan temple: "Why didn't they do an injoke article on the fifth issue? Am I the only one who cares? Where have the lols gone, my friends? Where have the lols gone?" In response, the Unsignpost sent a secret "Fifth Issue Of Unsignpost" article directly to Qua, where it will be housed until his death. The Unsignpost writers, who have had a cut in pay since the leaving of Dr. Skullthumper, are now relying on the work of random people found on IRC for their inspiration. We now present to you an article in the Unsignpost by somebody else about a guy who works at the Unsignpost... /me headdesk [note: "me" refers to the entire Unsignpost staff] Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek by ThePaleOne It has been reported on #uncyclopedia that Cajek, our resident editor, has been banned from the "Star Wars Wiki", Wookieepedia. There has been an outrage in the star wars community, as they find Cajek to be a charming and respectable fellow [ed note: Cajek did NOT write this!]. Even us here at the the UnSignPost believe so, ( but don't tell Cajek that! ) [ed note: I SAW THAT! YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!] I spoke to one Cajek fan, Darth Vader, to see what kind of impact this has had on the community. "It really is tragic to see him get banned," said a distraught Vader, with tears dripping from his helmet, "I just don't understand it! How can there be no Cajek?! We've seen his greatest and sometimes his somewhat lameness. But we will be EPIC FAIL without him" Vader's emotionally wrecked state shows the devastation caused by the Wookieepedia senate's unruly vote. I just hope Palpatine wasn't behind this, I voted for him too! I sat down with another fan, Jar Jar Binks, to discuss this radical move. "Mesa think its outrageous! Mesa no like Wookieepedia afta this! This beein worse than <insert name here>'s bombad faggotry!" And indeed it is. Personally, I denounce the Leftist Bias of Wookieepedia and their slander against Cajek. What did he ever do to them right? Personally, I hope Something really bad happens to those immature, pubescent, oxycotin sniffing children. In other news, 52% of Uncyclopedia agrees that Cajek should be set on fire on Sunday's Luau against 45% for drowned in his own discharge. 3% were undecided. Random Mumblings: "Monster" By Zombiebaron Alright. So. This is going to be cool. Because. You see. Therefore. Once upon a time. There was this really big house. Inside the house was a monster. Oh. This is a newspaper. Well, in that case, the monster was operating a grow op. Right. And the monster was named Skullthumper (because this is his fault, really, when you deconstruct it down to the last proton). Yeah!!!! But. Going onwards and upwards. The cops busted the grow op. It was fucking huge, man. THIS IS NEWS. IN THE UNSIGNPOST.

Check out these pages! Unprovise: Content free content anybody can edit on the content free website anybody can edit, now with extra do-whatever-the-hell-you-want. Voatse.cx User:Under user/SparkGallery The Uncyclopedia Genome Project From our logs: 12:50, May 28, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Benhagerty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (KILL EVERY FIRSTBORN SON) 01:36, June 1, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.156.118.234 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You're still at the stage where you afflict pain on the girl you secretly like, aren't you?) 06:03, May 31, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 218.186.12.8 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah BATMAN!) 18:16, May 31, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Zombiebaron!) 19:25, May 31, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Dr. Skullthumper!) 19:47, May 31, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 9500 seconds ‎ (Don't do that to TKF!) May "Of the Month" Award Winners Dr. Skullthumper ~ WotM ~ Oh! Gee! Right when he wins Writer of the fucking Month (WotfM), he abandons us! Well, *sniff*, good riddens! GO THUMP SOMEONE ELSE'S SKULL, THEN! *sniff* SEE IF I CARE! Cheapinitreal ~ NotM ~ Someone who indulges in Kitty Porn was BOUND to win best new contributor. We at Unsignpost are especially proud of this little noob, someone who will follow recent up-and-comers such as NoTimeToRevert and Beatboxing Jim. Heerenveen ~ UotM ~ Every nerd deserves his/her day in the sun. That day, and that sun, belong to "Hv". You will see him scampering around, voting, deleting, and peeing. Say hi to him once in a while, dammit! Sawblade5 ~ Ugotm ~ Sawblade5 is best described as a person obsessed with Gobshite of the month. Ever since this writer can remember, Sawblade5 (but not his younger brothers, Sawblade3 or 2) has been nominating users for banning or gobshiting. Finally, the gobshite queen has been crowned! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Spanish Nobody Cares and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "ivver sin a cuddy lowp a yat?" ~ Now we're moving into the realms of supremely useful English. The delightful Cumbrians use this regularly to ask each other "ever seen a donkey jump a gate?" I think you'll agree, there is hardly a conversation that goes by where this expression wouldn't come in handy! MrN9500's VFD vote/nomination of the week: Wet socks ~ Kerkill: Two year-old sockcruft. --Dexter111344

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:21, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

RAAAWR

RAAAAWR!! GRAAH! Gavin thanks you for voting to publish his memoirs. Just don't let any trannies read it. Thanks for voting.

~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 12:53 Jun 5

So I was thinkin'...

you would make a good admin... like, real good...   Le Cejak • <15:44, 09 Jun 2008>

I refer the honourable gentleman to the answer given by my compatriot MrN9500 to similar sentiments aired on his talk page by your good self not that long ago. Also, why are we whispering? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:49, Jun 9

we don't want the current admins to hear, do we? Maybe you'll change your tune once I nominate you and that other asshole. Then all my friends will be powerful, and I can do whatever the hell I want! Don't tell anybody I said that. Oh... oh crap...   Le Cejak • <15:53, 09 Jun 2008>

1. We're British. If anyone mentions us in connection with such things our natural reaction as a species is to blush and change the subject.
2. Surely it has to be Modus's time this time? How he's not an op yet I do not know.
3. I hear Mordillo has spies everywhere. Everywhere. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:58, Jun 9

I do ~ 16:27, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

See? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 18:28, Jun 9

Um...

...You seem to have missed my Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Scientists devote massive funds for cancer research to production of an 'orgasmatron' review off the maintenance-box-list thing, but listed it next to my name in the PEEING members table... Just felt I should be a good PEEer and report it. - [16:26 9 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Man, I got in this morning and the place was knee-deep in pee. It was all I could do to check 'em all - I thought I'd listed the lot, but I guess that one slipped through a crack in my regulation-issue pee bucket. Or something. Anyway, I got the important bit, and Hv's taken care of the maintenance bit. (Thx gize). --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 18:27, Jun 9

I've done another pee...you may want to tidy it up. Also, thx gize, UU and Hv! - [18:29 9 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Tomorrow. I'm just killing a little time while the missus watches Hollyoaks, and then we're off to help the future brother-in-law "test" Rock Band, which he's just got for his birthday. I'm an altruist really... --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 18:33, Jun 9

You're so amazing UU. You're like...like...a god or something cool. - [18:34 9 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

I'm just going to use this header to apologise for leaving all those reviews up there over the weekend. I looked at them, hell, I put some of them on, and I knew I was the only active checker, but I was just procrastinating like hell last weekend (nerves). You see, this kind of thing is the reason I'm so "modest" around here, apparently! Also, I've done that other review YTTE was on about. Later. ~~Hv 9/06 19:20

I wasn't on about nothing, I wasn't! - [19:34 9 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Eh, you do plenty, Tank Boy! Seriously, stop running yourself down every chance you get. Man, it's like you're Scottish or something! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:07, Jun 10

Pic request, maybe?

Hey UU! You have done many excellent pictures for me in the past. Would you mind doing one more? Could I have either a shark or a leapord in a suit, please (whichever is funnier in your opinion)? The background could be an office or it's natural habitat, whichever you want. It's for my latest article, UnNews:Nature Now Rated NC-17. Do you have time, or am I asking too much?   Le Cejak • <2:26, 10 Jun 2008>

Sure, I'll see what I can do. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 07:55, Jun 10