User talk:Supergeeky1
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Welcome![edit source]
Hello, Supergeeky1, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. You seem to have a sense of humor, but to be sure that it corresponds to the kind humor that is accepted on this site I suggest checking out the following links:
- Beginner's Guide - A massive guide about how to be the best you can be at Uncyclopedia. I've honestly never read the whole thing in one sitting myself, but it is very useful if you're looking for help on a specific issue.
- Our Vanity Policies - This page details why we don't care about your friends, your school, your gay fourth period math teacher, or the homework he has you do, and in-jokes. DO NOT violate this policy.
- How to be funny and not just stupid - Our flagship link. This will tell you how to not get booed off the metaphorical stage that is Uncyclopedia. I STRONGLY suggest reading the entire thing through, perhaps more than once.
- Uncyclopedia:Best of - For a bit of inspiration. These are our featured articles. This is the kind of stuff we like to read around here.
Now that that's out of the way, take a look to your right, and you'll notice some more links, these ones are about help in general:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but I do recommend it, it can be quite enjoyable, and it's a good chance to let others take notice of your writing. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Supergeeky1/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian, and remember: Have fun with it. We're all here to have a good time and a good laugh. Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (
) above the edit box. Again, welcome!
-Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 00:11, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
Andre Bauer chop[edit source]
Nice work! Thanks --
GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 06:25, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
Lewls[edit source]
:D --The Shield of Azunai DSA510 Insight into the mind of an aspergian: 08:10, 3 July 2013 (UTC)
- The preceeding is not spam, nor is it vandalism. --The Shield of Azunai DSA510 Insight into the mind of an aspergian: 08:10, 3 July 2013 (UTC)
- Also, Hi in uncyc, I guess. --The Shield of Azunai DSA510 Insight into the mind of an aspergian: 08:10, 3 July 2013 (UTC)
Hey[edit source]
Hello! -- MagicBus Talk to me! 01:29, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
Ghosts from the past[edit source]
Seems you won this last september or october or something. It's my duty to be a late award-granter because of that damn IFYMB! disappearing and shit. You're welcome, and shit. I mean, no, you aren't shit. You're just welcome. And shit. Zzz 
14:12, 23 April, 2014 (UTC)
|
Scandinavian of the Month September? 2013 |
Does this look infected to you? It's the UnSignpost![edit source]
Not that much over a year ago, TKF left us with the classic "I'm quitting forever in a highly obnoxious and auto-fellating manor". For about 66 seconds Uncyclopedians everywhere were sad, we all fapped in sadness at the loss of our beloved TKF and things were never going to be quite the same again. Then we all thought to ourselves "good riddance, I hope he contracts Anthrax and dies."
No surprise, but he has come back under the highly illusive nickname "Argylesocks" which is obviously not somebodies sockpuppet because it contains the word socks in it. I mean, if you were a sockpuppet would you give it away so easily? Flawless logic! He can also be found on IRC chatting casually under the "dcik", showing his support for "The Dyslexia Support Foundation".
Head over to his user page and talk page to find out details about his awesome "Uncyclopedia Retrospect project" which is probably some grand social experiment documenting the life and times of hopeless losers on the internet, but hey it SOUNDED COOL.------------
Forum dramaz
By Frosty
Uncyclopedia has recently had an infestation. An infestation of drama. Drama is bad mmkay? Aside from the obvious fact users get banned, users quit and people proceed to hate each other to the point where you would rub hot English Mustard into their prolapsed anus if you ever saw them in the street, drama distracts you from writing. As does reading the UnSignpost. But reading the UnSignpost is more constructive as the constant not so subliminal messaging telling you to write articles is plastered everywhere. WRITE ARTICLES.
But drama can be entertaining when coupled with cheap scotch and buttered popcorn to the humble obverser. But mainly it's bad, so stop it. No matter how funny you think your drama mongering will never compete with Asperger's Syndrome is no laughing matter... ...and the sequel rest of the trilogy.
Biopic
This week's biopic is Chaoarren, which if you haven't meet him yet... You suck basically. He can be found on IRC, occasionally editing the Wiki and frequently reporting established users to Ban patrol because "they made fun of him in his pink skirt" or "he smells funny". Chaoarren has also done the highly laughable feat of running dead last in the most vote rigged admin election in history, where losers like Kip the Dip and Colin actually stand a chance of winning losing.
He's also a noob that hasn't buggered off yet. I wish more of them were like you Chaoarren... I really do...
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UnSignpost News Confucius say "Shut the fuck up and edit an article".
Chat Quote [20:17] <James_T> My dick is large
~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) 
~ Fri, Aug 8 '14 12:22 (UTC)
More {{Boner}}s than a ragged Playgirl: It's the UnSignpost![edit source]
It was dark times being without Uncyclopedia. Maybe if I got out of the dark and went outside once in while it would be less dark. But you know, lazy me.
I plan to visit Uncyclopedia and do my 'thang (wink wink) at least once a week. But I hold no promises because you can't trust me. I'm a hoe and 3!OH!3 told you to NOT TRUST HOES.
However, I'm sure you guys found out why I was absent from the site for a good 200 years 4 months and it was because my old laptop KOed and I finally got a new one for school.
So that means I won't be uploading images of Madiq. (pictured)...
I missed you, just kidding, but really. However, I didn't forget you, maybe sometimes,
Is this a haiku or something? My grammar sucks too.------------
New admins for you!
By Sir Peasewhizz
Beware everyone, as a result of this there is now an additional 8 new sysops/administrators. They all expect BJS and prizes.
Kip the Dip
Leverage
Supergeeky1
Banzaikitten
Mr-ex777
Colin "All your base" Heaney
Lost Labyrinth
Cat the Colourful
They expect sacrifices. So chop, chop. Make haste.
Biopic This weeks biopic is on someone who doesn't read Uncyclopedia (but they will because we will make them through laughter har har). Her name is Elizabeth and she's from Australia. She showed Sir Peasewhizz her tits...
They were nice. And that is it for today's Biopic. What the fuck did you expect? A fucking biography on the Borgia family?
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Chat Quote
~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Fri, Aug 15 '14 20:07 (UTC)
We gave The UnSignpost an enema, so now it's regular![edit source]
By Banzaikitten
Welcome to another no longer sporadic edition of Unsignpost. Yes, the quantity of USP's being written has gone through the roof in the last few weeks and as such there is absolutely nothing to report- hence why people who have previously never written one of these are being roped in. One thing of note that has changed is I am now an admin and as such can block RAHB with impunity. God I love to block RAHB. There is nothing quite like the fizzy rush in the root of your penis and the dizzy thrill you get in your anus when blocking RAHB. I urge all who can to try it.
But anyway, I'm an admin now and I'm going to try and be the best admin that I can be, and judging from my recent attempt at changing the featured article, and all the admins reactions to my fuck up, the best admin I can be is one who does absolutely no administration work and just writes the occasional UnNews. Thanks for all your votes.------------
RAHBs Sexuality
By Banzaikitten
I know I've already spoken about RAHB but god help me I just can't stop. We all like voting and there is a very important vote occuring right now. You, yes you, could decide what sexuality RAHB is. Come the end of the vote RAHB sexuality will be decided for him and he will have to perform sexual acts of that nature for the rest of time. I'm hoping Ponies wins.
Shame on you By the curate
As the curate and the moral compass of this sinful land I must say that I have been appalled at the terrible news that my milkman brought to me. Although I don't remember his exact words, I'll try to reconstruct his speech from my memory, which - and for this I thank God - I am still honored to possess, despite my respectable age.
| “ | Now, I heard Mr What's-his-name talk to his son about something he heard in the neighbor's house, which I didn't hear, but Mr. What's-his-name-again described it so well that I am positive I can repeat it almost word-by-word. So his neighbor was giving his dog its food and commenced discussing our village's events with it, Mrs. Elizabeth soon became the topic of the conversation, and she, as you know, has a daughter... And a cat. Oh, what a fine Siamese cat! But it is of no relation to our current subject. So e man and his pet chattered on and on and, apparently, that dog ... oh, I mean the man (but, you know, from a distance you really can't tell the difference) uttered that "Mrs. Elizabeth's daughter once read an educational page on the Internet, which talked about homosexuality and how you cure it." And can you guess who the author its author was? Mr. Frosty, the man who lives next door to you! | ” |
These were the words of the milkman. However, this isn't all. I was not terrified when I heard this, because teaching fellow villagers to cure an abominable disease, which homosexuality certainly is, is a commendable act from Mr. Frosty's part, especially if it was done with no impulse other than to save good Christians.
Alas, I, we have been greatly deceived in our trust! Beware of the appearances, especially when they are found on the unholy Internet!
Ah, wicked men! I, your curate, willing to help your ungrateful souls, decided to try the so-praised advice of Mr. Frosty on myself and proceeded to accomplish it yesterday. I did everything he said to the very last phrase and - I swear by the Holy Grail - it didn't work!
Biopic
bakpak2hvy is a guy who frequently lurks on our IRC without saying anything. The other day he said something.
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Chat Quote
[17:16] <Banzaikitten> so I wrote the USP kind of
[17:16] <Banzaikitten> its entirely about RAHB
[17:16] <RAHB> Awesome
~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Fri, Aug 22 '14 2:11 (UTC)
Hey![edit source]
Thanks for voting to feature Jared Leto on the main page!
~Formerly Annoying Crap 05:40, 26 August 2014
OMG! A WILD USP IS ON THE LOOSE![edit source]
By Sir Peasewhizz
Hi, My name is Sir Peasewhizz. Stop throwing tomatoes you assholes! STAHP! READER PLS. STAHP.
Okay, so what is really going on, you may say? 'I'm about to fucking tell you. Enjoy.
Did you know that every ten seconds: another ten seconds kicks in? Yeah, mind equals blown right now, eh? Did you know that the return of one legendary user triggers other legendary users to return as well? When Argylesocks returned from his previous state (not Blue Mountain), it only was a matter of time until the legend named MadMax returned from his couple-of-months-long sojourn in the wild country known as Ethiopia. MadMax does not steal the few supplies of food Ethiopia has, you sick fuck! HE HAS A SOUL.
For those who have heard of the legendary Xamralco, he has returned to. He is an admin and a fantastic writer. We love him. You love. YOU LOVE HIM.
Okay? Okay.
Now if anyone sees Dawg, slap him and tell him to come back. And for Olipro... gosh. I can't even.------------
Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins.
By Sir Peasewhizz
We were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Biopic For this edition of your favorite paper, the USP, we had the chance to get the Biopic for one of the biggest badasses to ever live. That person/thingy/chatter was auror, whom we found frolicking in our IRC channel one evening.
When we asked auror if she would like to be Biopic'ed (did I spell that right? SPELL CHECK PLS) she gave a powerful speech.
| “ | no | ” |
Thank you! Give it up for auror!
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UnSignpost News The USP will be delivered on Sundays now. (or around then)
Chat Quote
[17:42] <ColinAYB> Kippy is forever topical
[17:42] <ColinAYB> Just like the lotion he uses when he takes it to the hub.
[17:46] <Kippy> You don't even need to see all the nudity to take it to the hub.
SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 03:22, 7 September 2014 (UTC)
Unsignpost delivery attempt numbr hideous implosion[edit source]
By Sir Peasewhizz
Hi, My name is Sir Peasewhizz. Stop hurling babies at me! STAHP! READER PLS. STAHP.
It is days like these when I realize what a cruel world we live in. It seems that Pee Review has bitten the dust. For just a few minutes of your day and some cash you can help solve this crisis. Seriously, you hoes.
Piss on my review quests.
Olipro is gay.------------
Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins.
By Sir PeasewhizzWe were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Yes, I copied this from the last issue of the USP, you boner goblins. That picture of gold? That was also from the last issue, as well.
Uncyclopedia App
By Anton199
There has recently (a certain amount of time before the latest UnSignpost issue) been a lot of talk about creating an Uncyclopedia App as well as an Uncyclospecies. The idea consists in producing and selling the app which will transform all the human beings who use them into Uncyclopedians. The majority of the users (about 50% of those two who really participated) found this idea great (think that it is funny to talk about) and maybe even began working on it (asked someone else to think about it). Nothing else is known about them, as they disappeared soon after the first experiments were held.
The main problem this project has is that, in fact, nobody knows how to create an app. In addition to this, there is no money, as most of it was spent on Ferraris, that were supposed to bring more money but didn't. Finally, some people think that it might be harmful for the environment (nobody cares).
The project is currently being discussed (some users still post random spam on the forum) and with a certain probability the app is going to be created in nearby future (it is never going be to created but some people do think about it). Biopic Alas, an actual Biopic for SEPTEMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Today, the Biopic will be on a man who carries the identity, MrC. He was doing some hardcore crunches while he was surfing the IRC and thus we gained a little more info this is a run on sentence fuk yea murica.
His origin: "Some Uncyclopedians messed around in another channel recently. After hearing all the stories and rumors, I figured I'd like to see for myself."
So when we asked MrC if he could tell us how to get, how to get to Sesame Street, he said "I don't know... bribe Cookie Monster with a cookie?"
There you have it, words of wisdom BOOI!
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UnSignpost News Hi. This is a lazy edition of the UnSignpost.
Chat Quote
[21:46] Star651 has quit (Quit: Page closed)
[21:46] SirPeasewhizz: NOOOOO
[21:46] SirPeasewhziz: BAE
Brace Yourselves, The UnSignpost is Coming![edit source]
Previously, in the past, Uncyclopedia has done a project called Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization, which mimics is a battle against crap-quality articles. We recently have finished the colonization of Albert Einstein, because fuck we didn't need a good article on him before amiright?
Anyways I'm telling you this because it would be soooo sweet if we could get this running again... and I kinda need Xamralco or any other admin to combine histories again because I just found out I shouldn't have moved the project myself...------------
Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins. (third issue in a row)
By Sir PeasewhizzWe were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Wow a third week of using the same entry in a row? GEEZ.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it!
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UnSignpost News Please VFH, Colonize, etc.
Chat Quote
[15:07] bakpak2hvy is edible.
[15:07] TheFakeazneD525 chews on bakpak2hvy
The USP is coming for you! (and your little dog too)[edit source]
By Sir Peasewhizz
So apparently, October follows September. As we all know, Halloween follows September. This means that I get to make a suggestion, amirite?
So I was thinking long and hard one day (which was literally five minutes not twenty-four hours) about something cool we could do for Halloween this year. No, I don't mean egg your neighbor's house... I was thinking maybe we could feature something on Halloween?
Okay yes, I know this is something we basically do every year, and I know you are reading this preparing to accuse me of filling space... and you'd be right.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it!
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UnSignpost News Please VFH, Colonize, etc.
Chat Quote
<ColinAYB> Actually his lips did sink ships
<ColinAYB> In the sense that he sucked e
Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the USP?[edit source]
As we all know, a Texan man has brought the Ebola virus to the United States of America. And as country, we are all freaking out. Even Obama, who never freaks out, has freaked out. He now refuses to kiss Michelle because he has become a germophobe.
Anywho, we here at Uncyclopedia have determined that Ebola can be avoided by simple measures. We encourage everyone to wash their hands, especially after ferocious masturbation. Remember kids, diseases come for hookers. So stay away from hookers as well.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it again!
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VFH Highlight Of The Week Firesheep (10/1)
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UnSignpost News Shabidoo's competition has begun.
Chat Quote
<Denza252> ephemey: am i trololololololing?
dicks lol: It's UnSignpost time![edit source]
By Sir Peasewhizz
Do u think we should cancel the USP
Anyone
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it againnn!
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UnSignpost News Shabidoo's competition has ended.
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The UnSignpost is back, baby! (And also a little bit of front)[edit source]
By Sir Peasewhizz
Before time began there was the cube. Wait, hold on... yeah wrong script. Okay, let's start again. Before the internet was cool, there was no Uncyclopedia. This is because before Uncyclopedia was a website, there was this awful site for information that anybody could edit called Wikipedia. There was also catfishes and cocks.
That all changed back in 2005. When Uncyclopedia was established/founded/spawned/born/emerged/created, the internet took off. Not literally, but metaphorically... or something. The fact remains that the world, with the introduction of Unyclopedia, began to gain faith in the internet. The Amish began to use electricity after Uncyclopedia was established!
And our legacy could fade away; not unlike my basketball trick shot.
All jokes aside, Uncyclopedia may be content-free, as one could say, but it is not free to run. Uncyclopedia runs on a server and this requires money. We don't mean like the billions Obama requires, but it still needs a bit of money to be a legendary thing.
How does Wikipedia stay up then? Well, we're not Wikipedia. We're run by no employees and we're instead run by dedicated users who spend their time editing/fucking with the site that they love. Uncyclopedia is nearly ten years old, so it's not like the joy of "uncyclopediating" isn't real. It's in the Webster Dictionary.
Not every one is rich either, in fact, we're all kinda bland. Money doesn't grow on trees. Now we're not gonna hold you for ransom and we sure as hell aren't going to guilt you into donating to our cause... but think about the children that would starve without us!
Basically, read more about it here. Thanks for your time.
If you can't donate, don't. We won't force you to do something we can't ourselves.
And another thing you could do besides donate is spread the word or buy something from our store.
Anyone
Biopic
You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it!
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UnSignpost News Donate to Uncyclopedia if you can.
Chat Quote None.
Vote, Vote, Vote[edit source]
It's that time of the year again! We're going to be showing off our Top Ten Articles of 2014 soon but so far, very few people have voted. It's all up to you to decide what's the best of the best! Go to Forum:Top 10 Articles of 2014 and vote now! --
02:21, 30 January 2015 (UTC)
User:LewisMC[edit source]
Hi Supergeeky! I might not be aware of this user's story, but I haven't seen him do anything apart from writing his Tesco story, which even though not a top quality article, was a newbie's first or second effort. Is there anything else behind the indefinite ban? Anton (talk) 18:16, 17 February 2015 (UTC)
- Oh, did he request a ban on IRC? Anton (talk) 18:22, 17 February 2015 (UTC)
- He did indeed request to to be banned on IRC, as well as the removal/deletion of his edits. This was after he went on an attention-seeking tirade aimed at several IRC users who felt the need to feed him, so I figured I'd enlighten his requests. — SG1|Hereish [citation needed] 18:29, 17 February 2015 (UTC)
- Ok, thanks for the explanation. Anton (talk) 18:37, 17 February 2015 (UTC)
Selena Gomez[edit source]
I want to make the page "Selena Gomez" and would like the content from the page before it was deleted.
Thanks, GeekNerd (talk) 10:32, 4 April 2016 (UTC)
Christmas stuff[edit source]
Much better! Cheers! Leverage (talk) 08:50, 18 December 2016 (UTC)
ohai geeky[edit source]
--This is my signature. DEAL WITH IT!!!! 00:10, 20 May 2017 (UTC)
Vote, Please?[edit source]
Vandalism detected[edit source]
It is an ip with the number 147.30.131.240 to ban: is vandalizing the site with stupid nonsense. He created his talk page with other vandalism to delete too. --95.245.41.163 (talk) 20:10, 1 August 2019 (UTC)
Thank you[edit source]
|
Kippy gives you the most sincere thank you for voting him bureaucrat |
I Hope To Be Unbanned From The Discord Sometime Soon[edit source]
Hello there, I believe it's been 2 weeks since I was banned from the Discord, and I was wondering if I could be unbanned now. From what I hear there are some fascinating discussions currently popping. Oh, and the Nicolas Comics Moment contest is still going strong. You should enter. Thanks for running a fine website, and I look forward to more fresh content in the future. Nicolassequeira (talk) 23:12, 4 July 2020 (UTC)
- Hi @Nicolassequeira:
- I have unbanned you. As with your original Discord ban, I humbly request that you restrict most (if not all) Nicolas Comics and related promotions to the #uncreative channel, or any of the channels within the "Pure Gold" directory, so that our fascinating discussions in #general can carry on undisrupted. This includes projects you've previously operated, or any projects currently operated by the honorable Ronald Bolton. I'll also ask you to refrain from starting or engaging in any arguments with fellow Discord users, and I'll ask said users to do the same.
- In short: Please just be kinder to everyone and less spammy in the future. Thank you and have a very belated Nicolas Comics 4th of July. See you in Discord. — SG1|Hereish [citation needed] 07:27, 5 July 2020 (UTC)
- Good deal. More compelling sketches soon. Carry on. Nicolassequeira (talk) 07:36, 5 July 2020 (UTC)
Merry Potato Day![edit source]
|
Seasons Greasy! Kippy wishes you the starchiest of Potato Days, and prays Potato Pete leaves you spuds a' plenty in your hung tater sack. |
Happy Monkey Competition 2021[edit source]
Hey its HAPPY MONKEY TIME 2021 (Feb 21-28). Your favourite writing competition where we write articles on one another's suggested topics. Go ahead and sign up because the more users we have competiting the more ridonculously fun it is. If you don't wanna write you can sign up to judge! Sing up here. Remember it's not about writing a sure fire VFH article, but pushing the limits of your originality and creativity and spitting out an article on a topic you had never thought about writing before. Also...Shabidoo will love you forever and owe you like a zillion favours for it. He will literally do anything to please you if it means you participate. Happy Monkey Farts!!! ShabiDOO 15:21, 10 February 2021 (UTC)
Lo and Behold![edit source]
hello geekyboi! I made some Mr-ex777 fanart (tho it isn't as good as yours) please check them out! https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Mr-ex_having_sex_with_his_ex, https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Mr-ex777_having_e-sex WTF! I DIDN'T GET ACCEPTED! FUCK THEM, FUCK EVERYONE!!! FUCK HARVARD!!!! (talk) 13:28, 11 March 2021 (UTC)
Bothering[edit source]
Give me the pages I requested. NOOOOWWWW!!! WohMi, the Dueling King (talk)
UnSignpost delivery[edit source]
This is a telemarketing version of the UnSignpost, which has been provided to all active Uncyclopedians (selected by Cassie) free of charge. Enjoy! MediaWiki message delivery (talk) 01:47, 1 May 2021 (UTC)
"Vandalism, eh? Fuck off already," they said, whilst throwing bags of feces at our new dumpyard.------------
Vote for Sandwiches: Triple Resignation, Quintuple the Drama
By Cassie
Following the resignation of two of our longtimemost bureaucrats, EMC and Zombiebaron, in addition to the resignation of admin CandidToaster, a new wave rejuvenated much of the now-ancient television show Vote for Sandwiches. MrX and Hipponias quickly climbed the ranks; Shabidoo received the same treatment, but ultimately withdrew. Zana Dark and JJPMaster were both nominated for a new category, interface operator, instead of the traditional sandwich role granted.
Uncyclopedia's Technologies are Finally Modernized
By Cassie
it has been a long time in the making, but Uncyclopedia's editing technologies have finally been optimized for the new decade. An introduction of a new extended-confirmed protection level has enabled famous articles, such as AAAAAAAAA!, to see the light of commoners' editing again. Utilities such as Huggle, RedWarn, CurateThisPage, autoarchiving, and a lot more has been implemented thanks to JJPMaster. Many gnomes have been working on this; as such, please treat their work with respect!
Biopic
This edition's biopic is about the joy of templating. Templating is a fine art which can be practiced on Uncyclopedia, its parody Wikipedia, and so many other places. It can furthermore be expanded to "module coding", which produces the same stuff albeit in a much more efficient and dynamic way. Come try templating now!
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VFH Highlight Of The Week COVID-19 (6/1)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Following 1.5 years of hiatus, Cassie has taken the lead, in a unilateral albeit undramatic manner, and has designated themselves as the lead editor of the UnSignpost.
Chat Quote
Supergeeky1: 
Boner.
UnSignpost Home Delivery for May 1st, 2021[edit source]
"Vandalism, eh? Fuck off already," they said, whilst throwing bags of feces at our new dumpyard.------------
Vote for Sandwiches: Triple Resignation, Quintuple the Drama
By Cassie
Following the resignation of two of our longtimemost bureaucrats, EMC and Zombiebaron, in addition to the resignation of admin CandidToaster, a new wave rejuvenated much of the now-ancient television show Vote for Sandwiches. MrX and Hipponias quickly climbed the ranks; Shabidoo received the same treatment, but ultimately withdrew. Zana Dark and JJPMaster were both nominated for a new category, interface operator, instead of the traditional sandwich role granted.
Uncyclopedia's Technologies are Finally Modernized
By Cassie
it has been a long time in the making, but Uncyclopedia's editing technologies have finally been optimized for the new decade. An introduction of a new extended-confirmed protection level has enabled famous articles, such as AAAAAAAAA!, to see the light of commoners' editing again. Utilities such as Huggle, RedWarn, CurateThisPage, autoarchiving, and a lot more has been implemented thanks to JJPMaster. Many gnomes have been working on this; as such, please treat their work with respect!
Biopic
This edition's biopic is about the joy of templating. Templating is a fine art which can be practiced on Uncyclopedia, its parody Wikipedia, and so many other places. It can furthermore be expanded to "module coding", which produces the same stuff albeit in a much more efficient and dynamic way. Come try templating now!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week COVID-19 (6/1)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Following 1.5 years of hiatus, Cassie has taken the lead, in a unilateral albeit undramatic manner, and has designated themselves as the lead editor of the UnSignpost.
Chat Quote
Supergeeky1: Boner.
Poo Lit Surprise is back![edit source]
The 15th Poo Lit Surprise contest is here! This multifaceted competition, with four distinct and open categories, is open between June 1st and June 21st. Five $10 prizes, as well as a bonus $5 prize, are up in the air! Here are the open categories this year:
- Best Mainspace Article - for articles in the traditional sense.
- Best Alternate Namespace Article - for stuff like UnNews or even UnTunes!
- Best File - replacing Best Potatochop, all self-made files are allowed here (with a few exceptions)!
- Best Rewrite - for the best already-existing articles rewritten from scratch.
- Best Template - A brand new category this year: the best template wins!
To register, please consult Uncyclopedia:Poo Lit Surprise, add your name to the table in the category you wish to join, and link your entry once you are ready. Everyone is welcome, regardless of seniority!
Judges may enlist at User:Cassie/PLS/Scoring. Judges may not participate in the category or categories they enlist in, but are free to participate in other categories!
Poo LIt Surprise due date coming up[edit source]
Hey all! You have three (3) more days to submit something to the Poo Lit Surprise contest if you wish to do so.
Good luck with your creations! Cassandra (talk) 23:32, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
Hey...[edit source]
Thanks for undoing that thing that one guy did. It's all a bit baffling to me. – 
(ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 13:39, 3 August 2021
B&[edit source]
-- Kippy the Elf 
Talk Works ☃ 00:03, Nov. 27, 2021
WohMi, the Dueling King (talk) 23:35, 27 November 2021 (UTC)
- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) --Radical Rocko ❤ (I'm listening...) 22:56, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
It's beginning to look a lot like…[edit source]
Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?
Seasons Greetings!
It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny — Sign Up Today! (pretty please) – (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 13:19, 13 December 2021
Merry Christmas and all that jazz[edit source]
Santa Baby… |
I heard that you were single again, well then—we should hook up real soon. Santa baby, Facebook me and give me some likes.
Santa baby, I saw you had a Tinder and I swiped right—found your Bumble account. Santa baby, Match with me so we can Meetup. |
Santa honey, if you call me up on the phone—we'll bone. I won't play hard to get. Santa baby, do you have white hair down there?
Santa baby, don't forget the presents this year—like beer, or perhaps some good wine. Santa baby— let's get drunk, Netflix and chill…Here's a hundred dollar bill?..I'm on the pill… |
– (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 19:19, 24 December 2021
UnSignpost delivery for June 20, 2022[edit source]
Hello, Uncyclopedians. It is with great UnPleasure that I say that I, ARandomPage, pictured to the left, have stolen your UnSignpost, and am now the lead writer, sandwich-thrower, picture-stealer, and UnSignpost-er! URA HA HA! But fear not. I am willing to give you back your UnSignpost... for a high price of winning a Sandwich of the Month. wait. What? Now I have to actually write UnSignposts regularly? What do you mean I'm not an admin and can't write this thing yet? What do you mean by "the role of sandwich-thrower is one you just made up?".. GOD.
DAMMIT.------------
Sandwich of the Month is finally up!
By ARandomPage
Yes, you heard that right! After 12 years and 5 months, we FINALLY made a Sandwich of the Month award! No more broken Sandwich of the Month link that just goes to Vote for Sysop; there's actually a Sandwich of the Month award now! This new award is used as a glorified thanks system. Or exactly the opposite. Yeah, uh... That's it. I don't know how to explain further. Templates for it were made as well, I guess. The best part? It's not on the award template, because whoever made the award can't edit fully-protected pages and is too lazy to make an edit request! Wait a second. That's the best part? Who put THAT sentence in?..
ARandomPage has gone crazy!
By Unnamed Space
BREAKING NEWS! It has been discovered that ARandomPage, one of Uncyclopedia's newer editors, is apparently a madman with too much time on their hands. A full list of their crimes is here:
- Opening the floodgates stopping the fish migration
- Labelling everyone traitors who deserve "depth"
- Naming an entire war-conflict-fiasco without any consensus
- Not bothering to finish either of their articles
- Fixing errors... wait, no, that's a good thing
- Vandalizing the Hobo Queen 2's page
- Stealing the UnSignpost
- Rearranging the UnSignpost... wait, I think it works better this way
- Not even bothering to check if anyone else has plans to steal the UnSignpost
Biopic
This edition's biopic is one on stealing the UnSignpost. Since for some reason, literally nobody bothers to check on the UnSignpost, people can easily steal the UnSignpost... up to the part where they have to message Cassie, a sporadically-active bureaucrat, about delivering it. That, or manually deliver their stolen work to every UnSignpost subscriber... or, since you're doing it manually, just every active user. Hey, that's not such a bad idea! I'LL DO IT!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week HowTo:Get Expelled from School (6/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News ARandomPage steals the UnSignpost. Read the first section for more.
Chat Quote ..... IRC is dead. And I can't grab a quote from Discord since I don't have Discord.
ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 00:12, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
UnSignpost delivery for July 10, 2022[edit source]
By ARandomPage
The former problem user known as Crocotta1, listed on UN:OFFICE for various reasons, has returned about... 2 months ago, showing much better behavior than before. While her issues are not entirely gone and there are issues unmentioned in the Office report, she appears to be much better in managing them now. We here at the UnSignpost hope this situation gets even better, as one of our editors appears to be rather harsh to Crocotta1 over the various vents she places on talkpages and numerous sexual references.------------
The UnSignpost needs your help!
By ARandomPage
That's right, the basically-dead UnSignpost needs your help so that it works better. Now, before you leave HATE HATE HATs on ARandomPage's talkpage, let him explain. From his words: "The UnSignpost template in its current form is broken, as selecting the words/links/whatevers on the main stories will direct you to the logs section instead. I tried to fix it, but that broke some talkpages by centering their header text. Microsoft for POTUS also tried to fix it, solving both issues, but creating another one in that their version of the UnSignpost template looked a bit... ugly." And there you have it, the current situation of the UnSignpost wrapper template. If you are reading this and want to help out, message Page and discuss it with him (sorry, we couldn't find anyone else to direct you to) or fix it himself. I'm sure the idiot space will notice.
Biopic
This biopic is about being too lazy to get stuff done. For example, almost every editor and admin here is too lazy to keep this place feeling alive. The lead and only editor of the UnSignpost, ARandomPage, is too lazy to bring out regularly-scheduled UnSignposts, nor write an actual good biopic, which is why this is the "biopic" you'll be getting this issue.
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week i burning your dog (9/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News ARandomPage is considering throwing UnSignposts into every active extended-confirmed user's talkpage, minus the ones who remove the UnSignposts.
Chat Quote From now on, I will make Discord quotes up because I DON'T HAVE DISCORD. "PF4Eva: i'm thinking of blocking page for his bold edits, its starting to look reckless"
ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 02:19, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
UnSignpost delivery for August 19, 2022[edit source]
By ARandomPage
Two anonymous vandals have attacked MrX's talkpage with spam, with one of them doing the same to both Crocotta1 and BraGreMat. MrX was absent during a latter part of the attack, Crocotta1 appears to be quite rude to these vandals, and BraGreMat is probably tired of reverting things all the time. Meanwhile, our self-proclaimed "chief editor" watched the madness, reverted a few times, and said stuff about the situation. He didn't even bother to make an UnSignpost about it until now! Ban this idiot already! Leave HATE HATE HATs on his talkpage, I demand justice!------------
There are errors in the Main Page!
By ARandomPage
That is correct, there are slight grammar/formatting errors in the Main Page of all pages. The errors were found by Brogo13 as a result of Page trying to place the Main Page on wheels for "Willy on Wheels Day", which is the date that Willy on Wheels first vandalized Wikipedia. That date is August 20. Page is in disbelief over the current state of his life, inability to finish his WIPs, and the admins' lack of time to spot and fix the errors in what might be Uncyclopedia's most important page. Also, he failed to finish placing the Main Page on Wheels.
Kiko4564 has returned!
By ARandomPage
The banned user known as "Kiko4564" has returned, under the not-very-subtle username of Kiko4564 Is Back. Their intention is still unclear, at least to us, but there's a good chance it's not malicious. When first banned, Kiko had an "Extremely long history of being a complete twat, both on-wiki and on IRC". They were also a Wikipedia sockpuppeteer, but that's not our business. Due to all this madness, our incompetent chief editor decided that it's a good idea to throw this edition into Kiko4564's talkpage. MrX, I beg of you, ban ARandomPage already. He's too incompetent to be in charge of the UnSignpost.
Biopic
This biopic is about conciseness and its benefits and drawbacks. The benefits: Your text is shorter. The drawbacks: Your text is shorter.
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Peng Shui (7/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News ARandomPage is still too lazy to make UnSignposts, and has neglected to make an UnSignpost on the MrX talkpage attack for over a week. However, that waiting did give him two stories, so...?
Chat Quote Cassie:
ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 04:14, 19 August 2022 (UTC)
UnSignpost delivery for October 21, 2022[edit source]
By ARandomPage
On October 17, 2022, L10nM4st3r broke his account by idiotically ruining how he views Uncyclopedia by testing (and breaking) his personal CSS file. He informed MrX about it, and the edit was reverted. Unfortunately for everyone involved, L10n then proceeded to completely forget his Uncyclopedia password, forcing him to create a new account, L10nM4st3r (2). He has now in the process of recovered what he can, and Kippy was able to rename him back.
During the temporary, scary, and confusing aftermath, Crocotta1 thought that L10n made her a new account when he called her "Crocotta2". It's very clear that lions deserve depth just as much as ponies and cats do. Something will be done about this.------------
Several users plot to vandalize Wikipedia, but sadly have their plan foiled
By ARandomPage
On October 18, 2022, Microsoft for POTUS started a thread on MrX's talkpage about vandalizing Wikipedia. L10nM4st3r then reported it to a Wikipedian, revealing his true allegiance to about a few people. BraGreMat also joined in the discussion, with a very interesting story about how they changed some template names a little bit and these changes went unnoticed for about two hours, which is pretty impressive once you realize how big Wikipedia and its community is. ARandomPage also left a comment, stating that he'd like to see an overly bureaucratic part of Wikipedia get vandalized. This sparked a small talk between Page and Microsoft about Wikipedia reporting IPs, which ended when they realized that people's IPs won't get reported just because they vandalized a website a little. L10n then stated that he would not hesitate to betray us in Wikipedia territory.
In other news, ARandomPage is a traitor to one of his own kind. Next story...
MrX's talkpage attacked by Svex! Again!
By ARandomPage
In a shocking act of betrayal, the recently-crowned admin known as Svex 88134kg has vandalized the talkpages of several Uncyclopedians, and even made a hate page on BraGreMat! This led to BraGreMat going on the Uncyclopedia Discord, reporting the spammer, and getting no response, leading to ARandomPage's first real finding of a Chat Quote. Once again, this vandal has been temporarily stopped and all their vandalisms deleted, and also I'm out of stuff to write on, so on to our monthly biopic!
Biopic
This biopic is about nonexistent biopics. Nonexistent biopics are very simple to create, as the first and only step of creating one is to
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Uncyclopedia:VFH (7/1)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News ARandomPage finally has a Discord account.
Chat Quote BraGreMat ™:"Apparently this is the worst time to get a response. Noted for future reference"
SPECIAL Delivery of the UnSignpost for October 23, 2022![edit source]
THIS. IS. NOT. A. DRILL! Just today, the Main Page has been deleted, and the person who started this deletion is none other than ARandomPage himself! How did this happen? Why did Page cause the deletion of the Main Page? You shall see, once you finish reading this UnSignpost!
This mess started on Discord, with ARandomPage, Cassie, Microsoft for POTUS, Banzaikitten, PF4Eva and JJPMaster. After an innocent discussion between all of them minus PF4 over a video, Banzai's wishes to cause minor inconveniences (which were stopped because Banzai is technically incompetent), and Svex the vandal, ARandomPage brought up the topic of the three pending deletions of the Main Page as per consensus on VFD. Page asked Cassie to delete the Main Page thrice sometime in the future, and Cassie, being Cassie, deleted the Main Page four minutes later. Microsoft then created the Main Page with the word "a", Banzai vandalized the Main Page, JJP declared that she was sad, and Cassie put up a notice saying that the Main Page was being set up. A few minutes later, Cassie had restored the Main Page as if nothing had happened. Peace returned to Uncyclopedia, and everyone got off scot-free... right?
WRONG! Despite the actual Main Page deletion crisis being over, the aftermath was arguably scarier than the real deletion. First, Cassie joke-blocked everyone involved in this discussion for a few minutes. Then, Banzai blocked Cassie for 100 years, as according to them, Cassie had committed the ultimate sacrilege. This caused Page to get mad and demand proper justice by turning himself in as the person who truly deleted the Main Page by telling Cassie to do it, even telling Banzai to give him the death penalty, which they refused. Though Page got a 900-year ban for a few minutes from Banzai, which Page celebrated, Banzai then essentially unblocked Page and went to sleep. Oh, what mess Banzaikitten will wake up to...
That's right, we have a new method of blocking! JJPMaster has invented the "symbolic block", which basically messes up a user's common.js file to deny them access to Uncyclopedia through conventional means. While JJPMaster was symbolically blocking Page, and later on, Banzai, Cassie opened a black hole on Page's userpage. According to JJPMaster herself, "i may have been waiting to "symbolically block" a human person ever since i got this permission".
And there you have it. That's the entire Main Page deletion incident of October 22, 2022. The true culprit of this crime has somehow escaped punishment... for now.
Biopic
This is a special edition, I don't have time for this biopic.
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Uncyclopedia:VFH (7/1)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News ARandomPage, the only person currently operating the UnSignpost, is in Uncyclopedia purgatory for high treason: deleting the Main Page.
Chat Quote Cass the Ban-Hammer Wielder🔨: I have no choice but to declare thunder on you
Eff off commie invaders![edit source]
Buttigieg 2024 --Hotsoonay Meekoo (talk) 11:08, 1 April 2023 (UTC)