User talk:Funnybony/archive1

This page is an archive. The contents have been moved from another page for reference purposes only, and should be preserved in their current form. Discussion or voting on this page is not current. Any additions you make will probably not be read. The current version of this page can be found at User_talk:Funnybony.

Welcome!

"Some welcome Jaffa Cakes for you!"

Hello Funnybony/archive1 and Welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like it here and decide to stay.

Useful guides and references for your contributions:

I hope you enjoy the site and being an Uncyclopedian. Always remember to sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you want to start an article of your own it is usually best to start it within your namespace, for example, [[User:{{subst:BASEPAGENAME}}/Article about stuff]]. If you do this you can edit it at your leisure and move it over into the mainspace when it’s done. To start an article in the mainspace attach this template - {{construction}} to your work, so other Users will know you'll be back to finish it.

Should you need any help, do not hesitate to ask me on my talk page or ask at the Village Dump Forum. You can also add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced writers straight to you. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave them a message on their talk page. Once again welcome to the site.--Sycamore (Talk) 11:28, 10 August 2008 (UTC)

Don Martin

I made some slight format changes to your article. I have a question about one of the websites listed in the references section. It points to a broken page. Is that intentional? If so, you should put a hidden message in that section so it wont be removed. Great job by the way! You should think about putting it up for pee review. Any chance of a Sergio Aragones article? MadMax 02:20, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

COOL

Thanks for fixing up Don Martin. And I made the phony URLs clear. Please take another look. I dare not submit to the Pee Review because they are just that. I misspelled the last name of Bill Gains for obvious reason. I cannot submit my own contributions. In fact, I have contributed all these pages and YOU are the first person to say a nice word.

Hi there!

I read some of your stuff. Nice. I was going to suggest you get yourself one of those user page thinggys. Just a thought. Oh... Do try Pee Review. Not all the reviews are piss poor, and if you do get a bad review... Who really cares anyway? It's just one persons view, but it could be very helpful... Try it. ;) Mr N 00:15, Jul 9

December 21, 2012‎

Is starting to look really good. I left some comments about it for ya on the talk page of the article... I will give this one a few edits myself later if that's OK with you? I do like what you are doing here, but I would like to have a fiddle with the layout and such. It badly needs some more pics if you could upload em? Mr N 20:55, Jul 19

Yo Bro! I'm whipped! It's 5am. Have fun with this one. I added two more pics. Improve it any way you want. I like the God gets a black-hole-in-one and tips His caddy - my fav.--Funnybony 22:16, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

Surfers

Here's a TRUE one Laird_Hamilton --Funnybony 11:33, 21 July 2009 (UTC)

Dude... CREATE A USER PAGE DAMMIT! Please? Here!!! As I said, it's only a suggestion, but if you do, you can put links to your articles on it, so that other people can see what stuff you have done, or what you are working on now... It's linked from your sig, and you can access it at any time cos it's at the top of your page. :) Mr N

18:45, Jul 22

---I just used an hour trying to find out HOW to make a User Page. Man, I must be blind! Can you clue me and I'll take your advice with thanks--Funnybony 20:01, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

Do you see the red link on this page when you sign your name? Like this: User:Funnybony. Click on it. That blank page is your userpage. Go crazy with it. Woody On Fire!

Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:09, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

Also, if you look at the top right of your screen, no matter where you are on this site, you can see your name, then "my talk" then "my preferences" and so on... you can always click on the "Funnybony" link, and it will take you to your userpage. Just like clicking on "my talk" will take you to your talk page. Woody On Fire!

Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:12, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

May Alfred E. Neuman bless you!!! I did it. Thanks a bunch... I try to keep articles like Amero as REAL as possible and still be funny. I have mixed feelings about United States of Earth, an stuff.--Funnybony 20:23, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

Happy I could help. Good luck. Woody On Fire!

Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:30, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

Great!!! Thanks!!! After all, IN SOVIET RUSSIA JOKE LAUGHS AT YOU!!--Funnybony 20:33, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

MrN

Duh! Am I stupid! But bear in mind, if I would have just clicked your "Here" link then that would have taken me where I have to go, and there's nothing "un" about that. Or is there?--Funnybony 20:38, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

Oh, hi. Sorry, I miss this b4! Best to hit me up on my talk page next time, but tis cool. Hope you are doing well dude. Mr N

16:54, Aug 13

NYC Unnews VFH

Hya, I removed the nomination since it falls under self-nom, and you need to get a pee review before you can do that. Get one, and then you can renom. I think you might want to consider to add some more content to the article before though. ~ 21:14, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

Renominating Kriptonite

Since the VFH page for Kriptonite already exists, you can't renominate it there again. It's a simple thing to fix, though! In the little nomination box, instead of trying to nominate "Kriptonite", put in "Kriptonite (2nd nomination)", or something similar. This'll create a new nomination page that won't interfere with the old one, but will be just as good. -- TKFU U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U UU U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U CK 21:35, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

TKF very well explained how you can renom an article, but there's one thing you should be aware of. In the VFH template, behind "|article=" where it says to insert the article title without link, just insert the title, don't include the "(2nd nomination)" part. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk)

GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:31, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

<opinion>Although having said that you actually had an overall score of 29, which puts this just below the "nearly adequate" territory, and I can tell you that PEE reviews are a lot nicer than VFH - if you put this up there now then you'll most likely have it crucified. Also the review for iBauer is fairly crap. It is extremely RCMurphiesque is nature. Also given the minimal work that you have done to this article (the most part of this changing all the is to mes) you can't really claim it as your own. I'd suggest putting the second back to PEE review, and ask someone like ChiefJusticeDS, Boomer or myself to do a review for you and then make it fantastic before putting it on VFH. You don't want to put it up to have it ripped to shreds and taken down again almost immediately do you? And to be blunt, neither of these are FA worthy yet, although they both have promise, so it's worth pursuing, but don't jump the gun. </opinion> Pup t 01:29, 9/08/2009

You Have Been Peed Upon

I recommend you go clean it up before anyone notices :) Good luck btw, it's a good concept, it just needs to be clarified and expanded upon --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 14:22, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

I should just add that, if you're not happy with the suggestions I made, you can always incorporate the following template to make it look better. --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 01:53, 12 August 2009 (UTC)


		This page is or discusses a loony and/or nutty conspiracy theory of which Uncyclopedia vehemently denies knowledge and existence. The black helicopters are ^not _^on their way.

---HAAA!!! Great! I put the template and made your suggestions. It's looking better, I bet--Funnybony 08:52, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

PEEd

	The article Don Martin has been reviewed by PuppyOnTheRadio(talk)
	Version as at 12 August 2009	PEE review

I saw

Your latest edits to Dead Dick. That's looking better now. I hope you get what I'm saying with the bullet lists. You see it a lot at 2012 also, as it's got a long list. The "trouble" with these list in addition to not looking encyclopaedic is that people tend to keep adding daft things to them. You are seeing a bit of that with your 2012 article. If only there was a way to convert that bullet list into something more encyclopaedic looking I think you would be onto a dam good article there. Maybe a table could be used somehow maybe? Or maybe what's there can be re-written into paragraphs. Dead Dick is looking good so far though... Mr N 19:46, Aug 15

tables are a good way of listing that look Encyclopaedic and discourage edits sans thought. Pup t 19:56, 15/08/2009

I just deleted one list and turned another list into a para. The hook is that VN won because they had the highest score, just like most sports, VN:1,100,000 points to America: 58,000 points. A pretty piss-poor performance by Team America. Man, those Gooks sure know how to play "Dead Dick!" I hope that's coming across. Thanks again. I'll go back a clean up 2012 if that's OK to do. I hate to delete others stuff, even it's crap. But crap really does ruin it for everyone. Best wishes--Funnybony 19:59, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

Can you direct me to a sample table. I've never used one. But I sure see your point on lists, there funny but out-of-control. Thanks--Funnybony 20:02, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

This is a fairly simple table to use. There are a couple of templates as well (for example purtytable) but this is straightforward. It uses html table logic, which means you set up how many columns you have in the top row, and how much width they take up.

{| width="70%" |               <!-- starts table and determines width as a percent of "screen" -->
|-                             <!-- I would like a new line, thank you mister computer -->
| width="33.33%" | GLUP!       <!-- I would like a cell in this line about a third, saying "GLUP!" -->
| width="33.33%" | GLIK!       <!-- another one to say "GLIP!" -->
| width="33.34%" | SPLORP!     <!-- and the last cell to say "SPLORP!" -->
|-                             <!-- That first line was hard... I'll try another one -->
|| SLOOPLE!                    <!-- I don't have any particular style for this cell -->
|| CHOMPLE!                    <!-- Same here, so I'll just have "||" to determine new cell -->
|| GARK!                       <!-- This is getting repetitive now  -->
|-                             <!-- That was easy... I might keep going -->
|| SKLORSH!                    <!-- More of the same -->
|| GLUK!                       <!-- Ditto -->
|| KLOONG!                     <!-- Can I do something else now -->
|}                             <!-- Stuff it, I'm just going to finish it here. -->

GLUP!	GLIK!	SPLORP!
SLOOPLE!	CHOMPLE!	GARK!
SKLORSH!	GLUK!	KLOONG!

Got it? Pup t 00:20, 16/08/2009

Or if you really want to, there is this. Mr N

00:30, Aug 16

Yeah... but mine is a prettier colour... Pup t 00:39, 16/08/2009

Glory! I went to take your advice and saw it was already done for Don Martin. You're a master--Funnybony 10:31, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my motherfucking article.

You are clearly a badass motherfucker.

—Guildy

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:13, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks ain't no country I ever heard of. Says thanks one more time, mothafucka! I dare you. I double dare you. - seriously, you captured the moments. Bravo!--Funnybony 11:11, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

Better late than never

	The article The Misunderstood has been reviewed by PuppyOnTheRadio(talk)
	Version as at 3rd Sept 2009	PEE review

Sorry about the time it took to finish... hope the feedback is worth the wait. Pup t 22:50, 3/09/2009

A Pocketful of Kryptonite

Yeah, you created a page called Kryptonite (2nd Nomination) - which I'm guessing was a mistake, as nothing links to it and it only had the one edit. I moved it here, in your userspace, in case you wanted to put any of the content in the Kryptonite article, hope that's OK! --UU - natter 09:13, Sep 4

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my soon-to-be featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:28, September 11, 2009 (UTC)

Baby Boomers

Nominated for VFH. Let's see how it goes. And sorry I haven't been able to get back to Misunderstood... life, you know! Pup t 22:28, 13/09/2009

Lunar Launch Details

Man, THIS would make for a good article subject. Lunar Launch Details. I looked all over and I can't find ANY details of how they took off from the Moon, got going 60,000 miles per hour (again), and docked with the Command Module. All they say is they took off from the Moon and docked!?? I'm, like, whoa!?? How the hell did they do that? That must be a really interesting story. I wonder why nobody talks about it? I asked my Dad (Col. in USAF Rtd.) and he didn't have a clue how they did it. That must be the most exciting story on earth, OR the biggest BS?

Oooh Look! A Template!

Hey Look! It's only filled with happy sand guys!!
I swear to god, we're going to lose this war if Hitler keeps sending me on these ridiculous wild goose chases. We wasted a whole year running around Europe to look for the Spear of Destiny and all we found was a bunch of people who claimed to own it. We must have killed fifty people and all we have is a truck full of worthless, rusty spear heads and rotting wooden poles to show for it! Now it looks like we'll be spending 1942 finding out how many people have an Ark of the Covenant and collecting a pile of dusty, acacia wood furniture for the Fuhrer in the process. This is not why I became a Nazi. The bling with all the swastikas is nice but I look like Black Leather Jacket Dork when I'm standing here in this dark, musty craphole with the likes of Captain Doofus and Towel Head Priest Guy!

Thanks for voting Yay on Ark of the Covenant!-- 12:40, September 18, 2009 (UTC)

Baby Boomers

I see the article has been improved (rant removal) but I still think you are trying to cover a lot of ground and the article features a list and an interview makes that more suitable for an audio version. It isn't at all bad as it stands but the mix of formats in the article don't quite hand together for me. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 05:56, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

Thank you...

for helping clear out the PEE queue.
for nominating my article
for voting on POOF

As to the first two, that wasn't what I was intending when I asked about the queue, but I do appreciate it. Pup t 21:11, 2/10/2009

I was just waiting for Facebook song to nominate it. Based 100% on merit 75% on my liking you!=175%

As for Pee reviews, I can go through and nominate the ones that are obviously good, and say nothing about the ones, such as The Who: My Re-Generation which kinda sucks, and is just a bad dupe of The Who, not really about the song nor the (re)Generation. I don't know how to separate FUNNY, SATIRE & SILLY. I just know funny OR NOT. Y/s--Funnybony 22:01, October 2, 2009 (UTC)

VFD Tag Removal

Ehhhh...I'd leave it there until the VFD is closed if I were you in case some overly grumpy admin takes offence. Although if you want to risk it, I wont object. Hey and why not clear out the worst 10% of the facts. You have to admit some of them are really bad. mAttlobster. (hello) 22:25, October 6, 2009 (UTC)

YAOSIR!!! OK, cleaned it up 15% - plus added more good material that came out of this discussion, on the difference between Jack Bauer Facts and Chuck Norris Facts. Added. Thanks! It's better now because of you, Matt. So we saved an entire category from being vacant in Uncyclopedia!--Funnybony 23:39, October 6, 2009 (UTC)

"In case some overly grumpy admin takes offence"? It ain't about taking offence - only admins or poopsmiths remove VFD tags. Here's one good reason why: articles nommed for deletion without a delete tag are automatically kept as an invalid nom - so removing the tag could be an attempt to invalidate the vote, which is essentially cheating. While it's on VFD, the tag has to stay - deal with it. And asking if it's OK to remove it and then doing it without getting a response? Not good either. Have a little patience, Funnybony. You are lucky I don't ban you for that - consider this a strong warning. (But I'm not being grumpy, that's just how things work, OK?) --UU - natter

18:24, Oct 7

OK. you're right. It's done. Actually I was just trying to protect Uncyclopedia. I'm not sure if Jack Bauer has seen the VFD tag, but if he does, they'll be, ah, heck to pay? Thanks.--Funnybony 13:37, October 7, 2009 (UTC)

Baby Boomer Pee Reviewed

I Pee Reviewed Baby Boomers based on version version 4119678 Revision as of 14:22, September 23, 2009. I hope this helps! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 21:47, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

Punji Stick Pee Reviewed

Yes, it's me again. This time I Pee Reviewed Punji Stick based on version 4152596 which is the current revision as of 19:00, October 11, 2009. Again, hope my review helps! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 04:20, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Reverting edits to talk pages

Hey, just noticed it happening with Why's archive talk page. Not an issue as I was just tidying up the urls (as they bug me) and there was nothing important there, but some users and admins would get pretty pissed with it. Try not to do it if you can avoid it. (I'm assuming that there was an edit conflict and you went with the one you were doing. I've done it myself before and been threatened banning.) Pup t 23:50, 12/10/2009

Puppy, you're calling my talk page NOT IMPORTANT? BAD DOG! Seriously, I agree with Puppy. As it happens, I know you were finishing a discussion that began on the talk page which I'd just archived, and I don't have any problem whatsoever with what you did--I'm actually glad you posted there as it finished out the discussion. But admins are too busy reverting a zillion problems to catch the subtleties of an individual user's peculiar tastes, so that something like that could cause problems. I'm glad it didn't, because it certanly wasn't a problem for me. Happy editing! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 03:38, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

Hea dude

I put this here for you. This was deleted at VFD so it would need to be VERY different if recreated. Hope you are well. Mr N 01:18, Oct 16

Funnybony is very happy to here (hear) from Mr N

Wow, dude! I thought you abandoned me or were unhappy with me. Am glad to hear from you, and hope you stay in touch. always. Your friendship and guidance is MEGA appreciated! I'll be your Noob anytime.--Funnybony 01:50, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

PEE Review of ITSCON

Thanks for your message; I've replied just below it on my talk page. Spıke ¬ 16:25, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

The only thing that baffles me is your cordiality Friday and today versus your tone just after seeing the completed Pee Review. I suggest in User talk:ChiefjusticeDS#On the process that a completed Pee Review form--which they insisted I do, after I wrote the text review that got us talking in the first place--looks too much like a BAD REPORT CARD. I wanted to review your article and three others in text; they agreed, then insisted that I complete a "report card" to close out the formal review process. To be clear, I breezed through the review in table form, meaning only to point you back to the text that I presume you had already read. I suggest to Chief that there should be an alternative way to close a review. Spıke ¬ 00:44 18-Oct-09

Spike, to be honest I don't know how to write a review. I don't know how to use their form. So if I see an article that seems really good to me then I nom it. As they told me. Otherwise I do nothing.

My tone is always cordial, as was my first note to you. But your constant belligerence was boring. Now this message is perfectly friendly, so I reply in kind. My only preferred method is cordial. And I hope we always stay that way.--Funnybony 11:06, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Comments during edit of 18-Oct

Please find a way around using the word "nonsense" in the intro--That is a conclusion, which you should be drawing the reader to, and not have to state for him. It's the difference between writing a novel that says what Fred was thinking, and describing a mannerism of Fred's that lets the reader figure out for himself what Fred was thinking. Likewise the phrase "It is so funny" in the intro. If you have to spell this out for the reader, then your text has failed. Spıke ¬ 19:53 19-Oct-09 Crap, you're not reading this, but keep adding new stuff to the intro rather than fixing the old stuff. Keep it small and tight (as I tell Her all the time). The only function of the intro is to lure in the reader. Spıke ¬ 20:03 19-Oct-09

The only problem in this whole thing was my missing your points in the first place. I went through the entire thing again after reading the above, removing any wise crack, and keeping a serious tone through out. Dropping that truthful, yet useless, list made a huge difference. I didn't even replace it. I think you will see that ALL your advice was taken - after I came to my senses. I told them to take off Pee cue because as far as I was concerned I had the review I needed and fixed everything. So now its ready for a nomination?? if you think it good enough please nominate it. Otherwise, I would like to lose "stub" status and just be a main page article (at least). Thanks a-million.--Funnybony 20:59, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

Yes! now, dropping the wisecrack voice doesn't mean you think the cult is on the level; you are playing it more deadpan and leading the reader to figure it out for himself. It is surely no longer a stub, and you can take that designation off yourself. I don't think it's done (though I have been away for an hour). I pitched in on three occasions to make grammar and light-edit changes to the intro. Spıke ¬ 21:05 19-Oct-09

How right you are. I could never do anything worthwhile in my life without help.--Funnybony 21:09, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

OK, I took it out of Intensive Care (by the authority vested in me; that is, none). By Section 1.2 of UN:ICU, you could have done so yourself. (Validating your own comment about needing help.) You didn't take all my advice, though, (there's more to you today on my talk page) and I would offer again that Sections 13 and 15 don't contain information but anti-information, advisories regarding the absence of information, and could be deleted now. Thinking an article just out of ICU is going to go straight to Page 1, though--the word for that is Cheek. Spıke ¬ 21:12 19-Oct-09

Section organization

Even thirteen sections is too many. The body of the article contains the following stuff:

History
"Itscon lineage in numbers"--I don't like this, at least this early; maybe later, under Itscon culture
Formal governance--Includes Sections 3, 5, 7, 9
Consequences of Itscon membership--Includes Sections 4, 6
Itscon culture, song, dance, etc, etc ("culture")--Includes 10, 11, 12, and maybe 2

The list above is not necessarily how I would name the section headings. Spıke ¬ 21:20 19-Oct-09

Look at UN:HTBFANJS#Avoid Clichés (most of the time), paragraph 2/3 of the way down that excessively large numbers are a cliché and snap the reader out of his trance of believing you. The article has a few of these. Use believable numbers--they aren't the joke--the words you use to set them up is. Spıke ¬ 21:23 19-Oct-09

I'm on-it!!! It's 4 am here in Bangkok, and I'll take care of your latest about absurd numbers, and and organization tomorrow. Tell what ever I missed or just fix it is often easier than explaning to me. Anyway, how right you are. I could never do anything worthwhile in my life without help. Back in the 60s I had my first brush with fame in London with the Band, The Misunderstood, I was lead singer, but there was no way I would get on stage without my band mates. I've never been a solo act. And thanks even more for your personal edits--Funnybony 21:09, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

You'd better get some sleep! It was 2 am when I "pissed on" your article, and the clock time may have contributed to my impatience. If you didn't read it on my talk page, I am on the US East Coast. Last night, a n00b edited Pie with a lot of free-association stuff that had a little to do with pie but wasn't even funny. I was about to revert him, but after a good sleep, I was able to work his material into the intro. Spıke ¬ 22:01 19-Oct-09

I couldn't sleep on a roll, right? So I rearranged and deleted the sections to be connected and in order. Its looking really 100% better now. Man, I'm really glad you got into it. Great!!!--Funnybony 22:44, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

Well, you changed the heading of the section I brushed up--and it is closer to your style. But I have a problem with your style, namely: How many times does the word ITSCON have to appear in section headings of an article that, for Chrissakes, is "ITSCON"? Spıke ¬ 00:01 20-Oct-09

Dude! Right on. DONE THROUGH OUT. If I accidentally changed any of your edits, please re add, because I don't want to mess with anything you've done. Now I really am off to nap.--Funnybony 00:32, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

Wrong! I don't outrank you; moreover, you outrank me in ITSCON--It's your turf, and your exclusive area of expertise (compared to me); that's why I've been doing only localized edits. (This is not Uncyclopedia dogma, and I'm sure MrN would say I'm being too formal.) You did mess with something I did in changing a section heading; and the solution is to talk about what our respective purposes were, as we did. Spıke ¬ 00:44 20-Oct-09

Section organization bis

Sections 3 and 5 belong together: 3 Membership; 3.1 How to join; 3.2 Member activities
ALL CAPITALS in 6 and 6.4 is DAMNED PECULIAR
Don't need "GBC" in "GBC Theocracy" as I presume there is no other theocracy
On Wikipedia, it's no extra capital letters in headings, though someone just told me it's author option here--in any case, be consistent.

Section 3.1 has two problems:

Big numbers that can't be true--again, refer to UN:HTBFANJS on Clichés
The conclusion, "Pretty neat, eh?" Again, the tone changes from informing to chatting. If you have to say this to tie the joke together for the reader (that cult members will either succeed, or contrive to say they did), then your prose will have failed. Likewise "moronic" in 5.1.
In 3.2, the items toward the end of the intro speculate on the mindset of cult members. Again, better to report what they do and lead the reader to the conclusion about whom they hate. The list is part daily activities and part cosmic goals; organize.

I had this notion to append two sentences to the caption of the intro paragraph, but it's more than editorial so I'll leave it to you: "The All-attractive before being murdered. The multiple gunshot wounds to the head left him much less so. Shown here accompanied by the God-head." Leaves it ambiguous as to which head that would be. Spıke ¬ 11:05 20-Oct-09

Thanks for...

User:POTR/Template:Lateral Thanking Pup t 03:59, 20/10/2009

Funnybony's bee says

User:Why do I need to provide this?/Sun Bee thanks King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 05:40, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

What were we talking about again?

In Recognition
Of Funnybony's support and patronage
of the fine sport of Archery,
you are awarded one (1) gratuitous pantyshot.
Wear it with pride.

Love, User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig3 and WHERE brooklyn at??? 00:45, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

My Know-it-all advice

I posted comments for you here. I hope this helps! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 16:49, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

I posted a few more comments on my talk page for you. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 19:10, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

Just so you know...

When editing a page it's generally a good idea to use the Preview button instead of saving the page then editing another part. When you make multiple consecutive edits, you tend to flood Recent Changes with your tiny edits, which annoys people who watch it religiously looking for vandalism (such as myself). In addition this inflates the article's history to epic proportions, and it has a bad effect on your edit count as your contributions get flooded with very small edits, artificially driving up the count. So in the future I advise you to preview your edits and make several changes to an article at once, as opposed to editing a page for each individual change. Thank you. --Andorin Kato 07:24, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks! Live and learn!!--Funnybony 08:43, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Try to comprehend VFH & Peesville

Appearance: A tiny group of seeming nice mixed with hateful people have banded together and are canceling each other out, and operating on a "handle bias." And from appearances it looks like a little gang of only about 15 to 20 people out of the human race even vote on VFH. Jeez! That's a group almost too small, and which consists of person's with totally opposing takes on humor and / or handle bias. One says "It's a great article!" next guy says, "It's terrible article!" - obviously ONE of them is dead wrong, or just a jerk. And it's about 50/50 from what I can see.--Funnybony 21:08, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Yes. And this is why we encourage people to vote more on these things. But the truth is that most articles that go up for VFH are knocked down. (I don't know what the ratio is, but it's fairly high.) Most of my earlier articles have been knocked back, and the ones that have gone through to be featured are generally the fourth or fifth revision of them. There is one user who appears to vote against every one of my articles regardless of what I have done with it, and he votes for stuff that I think is patently stupid. The long and the short of it is that there is no magic formula, no simple way of writing that everyone will find funny. The best system we have at the moment to decide on this is democracy. In the words of Churchill "Many forms of Government have been tried and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time." Pup 03:26, 26/10/2009

Drive-by: I can't see something like this without commenting. You said "One says "It's a great article!" next guy says, "It's terrible article!" - obviously ONE of them is dead wrong, or just a jerk." Nope - it's an opinion thing, on something totally subjective, and as such no-one is "right" or "wrong". As long as they aren't voting out of spite, each vote is as valid as the other. Don't forget that. As to the VFH "club" - it changes, y'know? As people join and leave, you'll see the names change - look at VHF pages from even 6 months ago and you'll see different names. Some people vote more than others as well. Trying again after a wait sometimes bears fruit - one of my articles was shot down first nom; I waited 6 months, re-nommed it again, it flew through. The bottom line: humour, like music, is all about taste and opinion: if it's funny to you, then that should be all that matters. --UU - natter

15:27, Oct 26

Repeated below... don't have a fucking heart attack!!!

Bit of an issue

Alright, so there's suspicion and speculation going around that it's very possible that you've been using sockpuppets in your dealings here at Uncyc. I don't know extremely much about the situation, but suffice it to say, a checkuser has established that it's very like that this account, and the accounts User:Rsbj66, User:Rsb, and User:Rickbrown (if the names didn't give it the hell away) are all being used by the same person. If this is so, I'd generally ban you for a very long time. However, I'd be willing to relent that manner of action and just ban the other three accounts, if you can honestly tell me the situation behind all this here, and stop whatever it is you're trying to use these socks for. I'd like to try to resolve whatever the issue here is in as calm a manner as possible, but if my message is meant with disrespect or no reply at all within a certain amount of time, I'll not hesitate to instate the ban I previously mentioned. -RA HB 03:54, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Hi Rahb,

I'm not doing anything of the sort. Years back my first UN was rsbj66 - later I forgot the PW, so made another account, i.e., the account I have been using, as funnybony. And that's it. I later recovered the first rsbj66 PW, but I don't use it or want it. I only use funnybony. You're welcome to cancel rsbj66 acct which I don't use.

The other two accounts you mention "Rickbrown" and "Rsb" are not me, so do as you like. I only use one handle: funnybony. Sorry for the misunderstanding on your part.--Funnybony 08:44, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

No apologies necessary if you're not actually doing anything wrong. As I've said, the parties who've been informing me of this strange situation are closer to whatever is going on (or isn't going on) than I am. Something about pee review and VFH, or mass editing, or something. I really don't know. As an admin though, I'm obligated to of course check out any possible mishappenings that so happen to occur in the wiki. So, now that that's all settled, how about a gin and tonic? -RA HB 09:12, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

VFH & PEE Club: Who should "get fucked"?

Hi there. Now, after false accusations, I would like to make some “genuine” complaint on the tiny VFH and Pee gangs. You have about 7 nice guys, 4 flaming ass holes, 8 other people who disagree completely on humor with the others, and one stone-cold “hitler youth” with a rotten superiority-complex (worth a plug nickel). So that = 20 people in all?? Man, that’s pretty damn weak to be so freakin puffed-up. I have MORE than twice that many employees. So VFH is a few frogs in a well.

One solution is people should state-admit their bias, and not allowed to vote in those categories which they hate, nor against handles they hate. The guys who always vote against handles are doing just that. And he/she are just wrong. So, against biased ass-holes you should have some way to complain or accuse them!!! Even Court Jury Duty works like that...weed out the biased dick-heads.

Somehow you must have QUALITY CONTROL IN YOUR GROUP, RATHER THAN BY THE GROUP. Otherwise a lot of people, with much less patience than me, will say, "FUCK UNCYCLOPEDIA" after a couple bad experiences, and your tiny group will never grow. It is mostly a RUDE EXPERIENCE to be involved. Don't burn people out (which you are doing, no doubt).

Aren't you supposed to be an attractive web site, and not a repulsive one? Personally, getting a feature is NOT going to pay for my goddamn rent, nor anything else. And if I have to swallow much more shit, then I’m eventually going to say, “fuck it!” – and never come back . I wrote 22 articles, all of which are considered shit by half the tiny-group. So I more than did my part.--Funnybony 10:59, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

If I might interject...for the most part the system works fine, but there have been a few notable cases where it has broken down quite dramatically. People will always take comments about their work personally to varying degrees, so people seemingly unqualified to comment making negative remarks is always going to be an issue. This entire site runs on two things....humour and community, and it is find a balance between the two that sometimes causes problems. Interaction between people should be done civilly and with mutual respect AT ALL TIMES.

The Pee Review issue is a complex one. On the one hand we don't want to lose our reviewers (remember everyone here is a volunteer) so they should be commended for the hard work they put into reviewing articles. But there are cases where people without the right skills are let lose on unsuspecting users and their work. Individual differences aside maybe we should impliment a "3 strikes and you're out" approach to user complaints about reviewers (within a fixed timeframe)? The last thing we want to do is to lose people... -- Sir Mhaille

(talk to me)

You hear the man??? "lose people"... Shall I get the shotgun sir? I have the shovels in the car. Mr N

13:58, Oct 26

Oh dear! Well, If MrN says that ditching Uncyclopedia (for more fruitful fields) means getting blasted with a shotgun and buried in the ground, then I much prefer to live. He, he!! Anyway, 22 articles is a good contribution, and was a load of fun to write, so nothing was fruitless. Now Uncyclops has 22 more fruits on the tree, most on completely diverse subjects, and that ain't bad. But my enthusiasm is shot. So I'm outta motivation. But I'll continue to read Uncyclopedia, and even NOM anything that seems really good.--Funnybony 15:14, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

BTW: Mhaille and Mr N, thanks for caring. Yaosir!!!--Funnybony 15:14, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Smarts when you get kicked in the balls at VFH eh? I know. Trust me. Here's the thing... If all you wanted when you got here was FA templates on your userpage then your mistake was this: You created too many different articles. You should have just concentrated on getting just maybe 3 or 4 articles really good, but instead you created a lot more articles which are all great contributions to Uncyclopedia. However that implies that what you should be trying to do here is get FA templates on your userpage. That's clearly bullshit. I would much rather have all your articles rather than just 3 FA articles. 2012 failed cos "it was too listy" --- which we knew... and the style was a bit broken... The style was a bit broken because... Me and you have been editing it. ;) I'm probably pissing all over the style and effect you are trying to create, but you are allowing my edits cos you thing... "he's an admin, he knows best"... I don't know best, and you probably know it with some of the edits I made... Sounds like you are going to take a break from writing to cool off for a bit which is a great idea. Meanwhile you should look at UnTunes:Main_Page. Then record us something Mr "Brown".... -- MrN awaits the Un-Tunes... Mr N

17:07, Oct 26

genuine friends

Dude! You have been a bro, mentor and supporter of my amature work through hot and cold, and you never wrote me a single word that I didn't appreciate the value and good will. But, honestly I didn't even know what was a Sock-Puppet or User-Page, what to speak of a "FA template". I never even had a clue, nor interest in such things.

I'm interested in goals such as making history by being the Royal Gemologist of Thailand, and fame as a world-renowned Futuristic Jewelry designer with branches world-wide, a multi millionaire, a "rock-star" jewelry designer representing Bangkok, like Bulgari represents Italy, plus make a movie about it all, and that's not all. These are my goals, not getting some FA template I never even heard of, on some joke website.

This is because I really am whom I claim to be (I'm actually flattered that some people think so highly of me that they imagine me to be an impostor of myself). Wasn't it Picasso who famously said, "I can paint a phony Picasso as well as anyone!"

I wrote those 22 articles just for fun, and then (without really knowing any rules) I nominated them just to try and once 'cross the finish line' for some insignificant self-satisfaction, that no-one I know ever-even heard of.

But I eventually found the finish line to be nearly-impossible to cross, in spite of all my attempts, this caused me to re-evaluate the "finish line". And I realized that it was materially worthless and meaningless, if not totally insignificant towards the real ambitions and goals I aspire for. So I just decided it was not worth the effort and aggravation.. It's kind of like digging a ditch. A ditch-digger works his ass-off, takes shit from the boss, and gets paid peanuts. So I'm too smart to dig ditches. Specially when my real value is in climbing to the summit of Mount Everest.

Music and UnMusic

As to UNmusic, I made my REAL music bones before most Uncyclopedians were even born. And I rest on those laurels, which's still sold, played, and loved even today. Besides, I can't record music without my impossible to replace band members. I'll never play music with musicians of a lesser talent - for, as we say, "A band is only as good as it's drummer!"

Again thanks for really caring. When Jeff Beck recently was inducted in the R&R Hall of Fame, he told the audience, "I want to thank all those who helped me!" Then he flipped the bird and said, "And also thanks to those who did not!" - Best wishes, always--Funnybony 18:43, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

You can't record something? Come on. Be serious. If you have a computer you can record somethin. Come on man. Give us somethin! As for if Uncyc is pointless... It's a method of getting your creations and ideas to people. Just like music is. Sounds like you don't think music is pointless. Mr N

18:49, Oct 26

No, Music is not pointless. And Wikipedia is not pointless. I'm only interested in "points".--Funnybony 18:59, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

I'm an ex-musician (although I'm feeling the urge to return to it) but for me the act of creation, whether it is music, a website, online application, design, painting, drawing, article (comedy or otherwise) or anything else I am involved in gives me the same feeling. The act of creation is a sacred thing, whether here or elsewhere. If my articles have brought a smile to someone on this planet then that is enough for me. If my design work has helped a businesses or individuals to project a more professional image for themselves then that too is enough for me. I try to take the same level of care in any work which I am party to, having a joy in your work means that you never "work" a day in your life. -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)

That's all that we do on here for the most part - play. I write my best when I'm writing something that is just a random though that I found funny and I wanted to share with people. If I'm writing to win an award or the like I actually don't perform as well. As long as we do what we do for the joy it brings us, who cares about the rest? Pup 01:46, 27/10/2009

When it comes to awards, they are kind of like the difference between an empty hall, or a packed house. There is nothing more depressing than playing to an empty house. I'm assuming this, of course, because we never had that happen.--Funnybony 04:51, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

Never played to a packed house. I've gotten awards, but I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my writing. I will never be happy that it is the best that I can make it. Pup 05:15, 27/10/2009

Well, packed house is great but not necessary. Still audience IS necessary, even if it's small. At least in terms of expressing your music for appreciation of others. Recording is the best for this purpose, because a great performance is hard to repeat very often - especially VERY often. Hey, where can I hear it? Do you have a MySpace Music Page?--Funnybony 05:38, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

You misunderstood. (Ha!) I've never played to a packed house because I have the musical talent of a whippet. I get booed at Karaoke. Pup 06:04, 27/10/2009

Never underestimate the musical abilities of a "whippet" - in some countries they are known for musical talents. For example, the song, Whippet, by the well-known whippets, Devo.--Funnybony 06:57, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

Check out 65 year old Jeff Beck this year - LIVE

Jeff Beck - 2nd time RnR Hall of Fame this year

The lead solo that Jeff Beck played on Mr You're a better man than I" - was the invention of lead guitar. So for me it cannot be surpassed by anything since.

And then Jeff's solo on Shapes of Things - ends with a power chord that is so freakin' "metal" that the world had to dream up the term "power-metal" just to describe it.

In spite of his age of 65, Jeff just gets better and better, until he left Jimmy Page and Eric Clapton to whither in the jaws of time, and though he had quit the Yardbirds he still just gets better and better - after taking on the risky guitar heros destiny clock.

The name of his last album was simply "JEFF" without his picture even. Just print JEFF on anything musical and EVERYONE knows Jeff Beck. If you lookup the word "innovative" in the dictionary there is simply a picture of Jeff Beck.

Jeff Beck is worshiped by Joe Satriani. Even in 2009.

So, of course, when they made the satire movie "This is Spinel Tap" over 20 years back, the only recognizable member was lead guitarist Jeff Beck look-alike Nigel (actually played to a T by an American actor).

Jeff Beck is the coolest and best guitarist ever, even now in 2009 (as shown above).

Clapton, Beck, Page (all formally Yardbirds) ARE the 3 guitar gods. But only JEFF remains a real "guitar god" even today..--Funnybony 13:55, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

Lunar Launch Saga Pee Reviewed

I Pee Reviewed Lunar Launch Saga based on version 4182514 of 16:33, October 26, 2009. Hope this helps! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 17:00, October 31, 2009 (UTC)

Attn: Regarding an article hosted on your website

Dear Mr/Ms Funnybony/archive1,

Greetings. I am the lawyer for Arthur C. Clarke's estate.

It has come to my assistant's attention that you recently supported an article on this website (henceforth referred to as "Uncyclopedia"), namely the article titled 2001: A Space Odyssey, to be featured on the website front page.

We are honoured, although, of course:
1. We are fully aware of just how monumentally great the film is, and
2. We are preparing a suit against you for supporting copyright infringement, and the author of the article (referred to as "MacMania") is currently under arrest at Sri Lanka (not Ceylon).^*

However, we would be obliged if you would be able to do us one small favour. As interim representatives of Clarke's estate, we are in talks with Random House to commission a fifth book to add to the 2001 trilogy of four books. We've always been of the opinion that 3001: The Final Odyssey was too bleak of a book, and we would love to have the series finish on a slightly more upbeat note.
We were thinking 3010: And Another Odyssey, by J K Rowling?

Please let us know.

Your obedient servant (in a figurative sense)

James Steel

c/o Alesha Phillips
London
EC4M 7EH
UK

* Why Ceylon got the works is nobody's business but the Sinhalese.

It's a bit late, but not as late as a late parrot. Thanks! Sir Mac Mania GUN—[14:00 3 Nov 2009]

Man, this letter on Clarkes' Space movie is just as funny as the article. Thanks.--Funnybony 15:38, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

I always hate it when they send me those letters. ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*

(talk) (stalk) Π ~

~ 16 Jan 2010 ~ 00:31 (UTC)

Your latest article.

I think your latest article is pretty good!

But not, sometimes?

I think you need to add more jokes and expand on the article. Give it a little more MEAT. --Reverse Genocide Cockatrices 12:29, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

OK, I worked pretty carefully on this. I had a lot of pee-schooling. It's about nothing so I don't want it lengthy. Long articles drive me crazy! If you like it now, please put it before the host of gods at VFH. Cheers--Funnybony 21:40, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

I'm not sure whether it's Feature worthy just yet, but it's definitely an above average score.

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/December_22,_2012

Well, just as long as it's article worthy is good enough. If you can think of anyway to improve it please dive in. But I hate to add filler. And I think that a short and good list always works.--Funnybony 23:30, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

Well, it's definitely improved, but I'm still not certain about feature-worthiness.--Reverse Genocide Cockatrices 02:07, December 6, 2009 (UTC)

To the VFH!

No time to explain! AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! --Reverse Genocide Cockatrices 00:52, December 9, 2009 (UTC)

Mike Tyson

Nice job. :) MadMax 20:34, December 9, 2009 (UTC)

Much appreciated, the encouragement, it is--Funnybony 23:23, December 9, 2009 (UTC)

T Rex

Hya, I've noticed that you've done the same thing a couple of times so I thought I'll drop you a quick explanation. Self nomination rules at VFH - you need to ask a "formal" pee review before you nominate one of your articles. If you don't get anything within a week of posting your article for pee, you can proceed with the nom. Otherwise, every time you'll self nom we'll need to take it down. Let me know if you need any help. ~ 14:29, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

Bobby De Niro

Glad you liked it, I'll certainly take your suggestions under consideration, I'm planning to redraft it a bit when the PEE is done anyway. Nice work on Pesci too. --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 15:04, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

Hea you

Check out your Wikipedia talk page. ;) Mr N 22:00, Jan 24

mentions the drug... Interesting... Mr N 22:09, Jan 24

Hey

هل تتحدث العربية؟

You said something about knowing Arabic and Hindi on MrN9500's toakpaeg.. • FreddThe Redd • • • 10:45 • Monday, 25-01-2010

Bloody stalkers! Mr N

11:20, Jan 25

Mwahahahahahaahaaa! I even know what colour your pants are! • FreddThe Redd •

•

• 11:38 • Monday, 25-01-2010

I know Hindi, but NOT Arabic. Just used translators for both, but at least I can read the Hindi (or Sanskrit, which is same script as Hindi). Cheers!--Funnybony 11:27, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Oh. Ok. Cheese!--• FreddThe Redd •

•

• 11:38 • Monday, 25-01-2010

Robert De Niro

Thanks for taking the time to review, I'm glad you liked the article. I will keep your suggestions in mind and have a think about what to do next. --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 00:30, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

Although I appreciate you asking, you can of course nominate it whenever you want. Maybe give it a while though as I have thought of some changes I'd like to make, and will probably think of more soon. Also, it would be way too tense for me what with my Godfather article already up for VFH at the same time. Thanks though, I am flattered. --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 13:01, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

Pee reviewed your article

I did it without knowing it's history or knowing who you are. Now I feel a bit silly considering you probably know more about Hinduism than me. You really should use this knowledge and make it show in the article, while making it accessible at the same time. I also noticed that you have problems with VFH, and couldn't resist giving you my opinion because I just love that. Not that I'm qualified to tell you how to get featured, but one thing I noticed is that FAs have a consistent, restrained tone. While reading certain articles, I get a feeling that "this article contains prose that sounds like an FA". Articles with prose like this fail VFH too, but articles without this kind of prose almost never make it. So I think tightening your prose is the first step to writing a more featurable article. ~ 18:17, Jan 26, 2010

In reply to your reply on my talk page, if you don't want an encyclopedic tone I suggest an article that is "in the style of". Meaning, pick a character and stick to it. I personally really like encyclopedic articles, however. Here's a joke that I thought of just now (sorry if it's bad): Soma gave the Hindu god Indra enough power to slay the dragon Vrtra. It also cured his back pain. (carisoprodol is used to cure back pain). ~

19:33, Jan 26, 2010

Thanks

Grazie...

Grazie for doing me this favour. I won't forget it.
Ask your friends in the neighbourhood about me. They'll tell you I know how to return a favour
Don Flamingo 11:21, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 28th January 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

All your readers are belong to us

Jan 28th • Issue 73 • A Periodical. Period.

Continuing Absence Of Certain Users Forces Other Users To Do Things

By UU

It has come to the notice of our fearless journalists that some users have recently been desperately attempting to fill the gaping void left by the absence of some other users. For instance, in the absence of part-time dinosaur and popular keyboard feature SysRq, Why do I need to provide this? has stepped bravely into the Colonization brief (and has not, for instance, been forcefully volunteered for the task by MrN), dedicating himself to bringing colons where there are none (such is our understanding).

Also bravely stepping into the "ban magnet" position created by the continuing and lamented absence of hyperactive loon Cajek is, well, a plethora of users. Admins, deprived of their favourite joke-ban target, have taken to joke banning anyone in an attempt to get their fix. Even those devoted to doing only good, just and true works have recently been targeted; and as if to prove this very statement, some power-crazed asshole went and joke banned Socky, RabbiTechno and Optimuschris as soon as he'd written this sentence.

Elsewhere, ChiefjusticeDS has been filling the gap left by the absence of someone's enthusiasm for anything pee-related right at the moment by looking after the pee list, taking over as the person with the most in-depth reviews, reviewing everyone else's reviews, and generally not being lazy about it all.

At the same time, the continuing absence of the yellow and black sig of Gerrycheevers has forced grumbling British curmudgeon UU to return to the Wiki's only newspaper, the UnSignpost, churning out issues that are, let's be honest, mere placeholders until Gerry gets his arse back here and writes something worth reading. YOU HEAR ME GERRY? GET THE FUCK BACK HERE NOW DAMMIT!

Rumours that, in the relative absence of Orian57, Roman Dog Bird will take over the position of "token gay" are unconfirmed at the time of going to press.

And finally, in the absence of enough content to make this issue balance out nicely, the UnSignpost is once again resorting to using blatant filler for the first time this year.

Shameless, that's what it is. Complain to someone - it's the only way they'll learn.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

20:30, 26 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.223.27.16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (No-one talks that way about my favourite Jew. Learn some manners or GTFO.)
00:48, 26 January 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Why do I need to provide this? (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 20 minutes ‎ (Sometimes I feel, like I've been TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEDDD to the Whipping Post!!!!)
18:19, 24 January 2010 MrN9500 (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.42.246.27 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Toll. Idiot. Whatever. Banned, UnBanned, Banned, Banned. BYE. Try IRC next time. The guys in there will enjoy it.)

Biopic of the Week

Users today, they barely know they're born. The problem? Too little exposure to Flammable. The permanent curator of the Principal's office rarely deigns to grace us mortals with his presence these days, but the very sight of his rainbow-strewn sig used to inspire fear, dread, terror and, for some reason, carol singing. "While shepherds fed their flocks thermite..."

Old-School Featured Article of the Week

This one's for you, Guildy: HowTo:Be pretentious. Don your black polo-neck, cock a snook at the hoi polloi, and sit back, secure in your superiority, thanks to this indispensable guide!

Cursory Mention of the Week

CheddarBBQ wanted to be mentioned in this week's Signpost. So he is.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001 (bot) 15:02, Jan 28

What the!? This is a crack-up!!! Specially this rap: 00:48, 26 January 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Why do I need to provide this? (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 20 minutes -HA!!! Must have been the longest 20 minutes ever.--Funnybony 13:51, January 29, 2010 (UTC)

Well, I added your name to the list of people who get a "free" copy. Check out UN:USP As with most things here, anyone can contribute. UU wrote that one (mostly) but loads of other people have also written issues. :) Hea... I'm being an ass not editing Soma. That's cos I'm not sure what to do with it yet, largely because I have a lot to learn about the subject first. What I would like to do now (with your permission) is give your 2012 article a good seeing to MrN style. I think I can add something there, but I want to change the style it's written rather a lot and move a lot of things around. May I? Mr N

17:05, Jan 29

---SURE! YOU BET!!--Funnybony 17:39, January 29, 2010 (UTC)

A state of meh

Reading UnNews:New York Evicted from Ground 0, I was overcome by a sense of meh. I think there's something there, and it could be funny, but I'm not the person to opine as to how, because I have no idea. Try... something.

Also, I may have neglected to present you with my UnNews welcoming template, so... here it is. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:41, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Funnybony, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Also... Check out {{RecentUnNews}}. Then... Look at the main page... I'm sure you can figure out what's going on. :-) Oh, ya need to add a source for your UnNews. I'm going to read the whole thing you sent me. Looks VERY interesting... Mr N

22:22, Jan 30

Also, also... I did tell ya about {{Recent}} did I not? When you create a new article, add a link to it in there... Then... Check the main page. ;~) That's not for UnNews, but mainspace stuffs... Mr N

22:34, Jan 30

Question to MrBotN9500

Should I add this "{{Recent}}" to the bottom of new articles? Umm, where's the freakin' main page, BIG KAHUNA Uncyclopedia?? Stay well--Funnybony 10:07, January 31, 2010 (UTC)

Lol. Where is the main page??? Go to Google, and type "Uncyclopedia" !$$!%!£! LOLZ. Double Lol. Or... Click the thing which says "Main Page" on the left. Yea, that place in the navigation box. or... Main Page? :P When you get an FA article... That's where it appears. That's the "Main Page" you see. Lol. How long have you been here? It's locked so that only us power crazed sysops can edit it. However... There are a few places which those in the know can edit which are linked from the main page. Such as the two links I was talking about above... Also.... It's "MrN" ya clots! So anyway... Any new articles which you create can be added to the main page by adding a link into {{recent}}... So, you click on {{recent}}... Then click edit... Then follow the instructions to add your page. UnNews go in the other link in a similar way. You don't add that to your page, you add a link to your article onto that template. That template is linked from the main page, and so will make a link to your article appear on the main page. Remember to trim the list down to the number it should be... They don't have to be "finished" but at-least polished to a standard that they don't make us look too much like the bunch of amateurs we are. As for which articles to add... That's up to you. Anything you have done in the last month or so would be fine I guess... There are no "rules" as with most things on Uncyc, it's just a question of trusting people not to take the piss too much... Here I was trying to be all subtle and everything... As you can see, we don't like to advertise that fact too much as we don't want too many pictures of monkey cocks appearing on the main page... Mr N

11:01, Jan 31

UnNews:New York Evicted from Ground 0

I think this is pretty funny concept. I gave the source as TMZ. But I don't know how to work the rest of the code so I just put original. What do you think of this one? I'm not planning on any more news, but that was irresistible. I want to do Freddy Mercury, Sergio Aragonés, and perfect ITSCON.

Please take a look through the subjects on my userpage and see it there's anything of interest, or good enough to be worthy of your talents. I have a very mixed bag. Of course 2012 is the MOST important, not the least of which it's the end of the cosmos? Sent reply via other channels.

In case you're wondering WHO the fuck is Sergio, first see his version of Luke Skywalker, in the bar scene, who has to take a piss.

Y/bro--Funnybony 09:43, January 31, 2010 (UTC)

2012

Well, I tarted it up a bit. Have done some edits to 2012 also... I thought the radical type surfer style of prose was not cutting it. Hopefully it's not too plane now, and probably needs a bit more colour, but I do think a slightly more deadpan style will meet with more favour if another attempt is made at VFH... Now, I'm going to seriously start reading that first document ya sent... Oh how about checking out Who built the moon sometime? I fancy you might have something to add... Mr N

10:02, Jan 31

HAAAAA!!! I love it! Good stuff! That's the first time I laughed at that article in a long time. Good tone change. I just LOVE the "date" indication (as the unConclusion). YEAH!!!

What the heck is wrong with Laird Hamilton? A couple people complained about the surf hero style, but that's because they never watched his bloody raving insanity. His biggest regret in life is missing the Indian Ocean Tsunami. You voted (Thanks, dude!) and a couple others. But most people didn't seem to have an opinion. Then again, no news is usually good news. Although it doesn't get a FA, He he! I think it's funny cause I know the loony. He's the biggest dare-devil on Earth, or, should I say, the devil dares him, like, all the time. He goes places that would give Mike Tyson a freakin' heart attack.--Funnybony 12:15, January 31, 2010 (UTC)

There is nothing "wrong" with Laird Hamilton. It just ain't quite good enough man ;) People are not voting because they have read it... Thought.. Yea, it's OK, but not really an FA, and I don't want to kick this guy in the balls any more than I need to. If it were "Bad" people who vote it down, as it is most people prefer to let em die a graceful death over time. Read the comments you are getting... You go with a fan boy style. Maybe that works if the reader knows him really well. Most don't. If you go with this kinda style (fan boy) you probably need to be a little more self mocking in your tone, and throw in a few obvious one liners to make it really obvious that you are not that seriously a fan boy... Check out Michael Jackson or José Mourinho for how to truly do Fan boy style really well. You notice how those articles have much more of an edge to them? Laird Hamilton suffers from the same thing I had with Eric Clapton... Like I said... So many of your articles are close to being FA quality, but just not quite there yet... Your style also tends to require lots of list based humour which the punters at VFH don't like. Tis like I said sir... You have to mix in enough funny to appeal to the masses who don't know the subject matter as well as the subtle stuff which will only be recognised by the fans... Also, you do sometimes tend to mix in your own personal politics into your writing in a manor which kinda grates at the sides of some voters at VFH. You can make political points, but people will not like it if it's not funny. Think of it this way... If a person had no idea who he was would they find this funny? Maybe a few one liners, but not enough to carry it through. I personally think that Michael Jackson is a total work of complete and utter mastery. Really, it's awesome. But... It's not got enough slapstick to tickle those who are not fans of subtlety, and so is again having a hard time on VFH... So, to answer your question... The reason it's not doing that well, is cos it's not funny enough to people who don't know the guy... ;) In addition... I'm STILL laughing at you about what you said about my dad. Lol. Sorry. Yea... I'm an asshat... Mr N

12:43, Jan 31

Oh... Pro tip... ;) All the above bullcrap asside... Voting for other people on VFH does tend to attract votes in your direction. :D Hea... I'm just saying man... It probably should not be like that, but it is... Mr N

12:54, Jan 31

Hey, dude! I tried your approach to Laird Hamilton before even reading this. Could you take another look? I also added a must-see-to-believe YouTube of Laird. Let me know.

Hey, your dad is the "my generation" - he's a hipster, believe it! After all, he managed to come up with you!--Funnybony 13:01, January 31, 2010 (UTC)

I will try and show ya what I mean. Stand back... Mr N

14:08, Jan 31

OK, so I changed a fair bit of the start. Maybe you think it's better now, I'm not sure. What I was trying to show you was that it was too "he's great" and not enough taking the piss... I have introduced the idea that the author is questioning their sexuality (I had to man, just had to! Lol.) and toned down a lot of the rest. The trouble with the rest of the article is that it still looks kinda like your Jack Bower page, or Chuck Norris facts... The second part of the article needs fixing also to be more in the style I was going for in the beginning I think. There are some good lines in there mind dude. Also... Your stuff is getting a lot better. Don't be discouraged, it's getting there man... Mr N

15:57, Jan 31

YEAH! Really good job on Laird Hamilton. Much more funny, and not surfboyism. Now it sounds much more Uncyclopedia. Too bad we couldn't get people to reread it now it's different tone completely. Bravo!--Funnybony 16:01, January 31, 2010 (UTC)

It's not failed yet... Mr N

16:58, Jan 31

Well I have done what I can. Even to the point of asking the guy who voted against it to take a second look. It's fine to do that if you are very polite, don't pressure them, and have actually genuinly addressed the issue they raised... [1]... I recommend you go back through it again... Reading out loud checking the grammar, punctuation and such. Maybe you can improve it further. It's not dead yet... Maybe you might take a look at Who built the moon sometime also. Enjoy. Mr N

17:27, Jan 31

Laird Hamilton

Bro! Excellent job of finishing Laird's page. It is really MUCHO better. More soon. GREAT!!!--Funnybony 00:47, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

It probably still needs a whole additional paragraph really. It is a bit on the short side. That's not more lists or quotes either! Actually a paragraph... :P Oh, removing that kooks bit was a good call. As I keep saying... go back through, removing the less good stuff... Add more good stuff... rinse and repeat... :D Mr N

11:20, Feb 1

Dude! I tried to do what you just suggested above. I added more pic caption. plus a new section on Dave Kalama (which may be appropriate or not - kinda extension of your 2nd para joke). Lemme know--Funnybony 17:34, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

I haven't checked the editing history so don't know who exactly did what, but thanks for Laird Hamilton. Whether it gets featured or not, I liked it. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 04:54, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

You made our day, Harry! Thanks. It's easy to see who did what: If it's funny then that was botN9500, and if it's lunatic-surfer-fan-boy-lover then that was written by Dave Kalama. Thanks a zil for the vote. It would have done a lot better if botN9500 had worked his magic BEFORE I submitted to VFH...but Dave Kalama was holding a plastic cap-gun to my ear... so it was terrorism, plain and simple.--Funnybony 08:01, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

It's..... MrN ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.... I give up. I really do. That nomination though... That's not failed yet. Mr N

14:45, Feb 3

Mr N would be a much better name for Mr T (Ooops! I didn't say that!). Too bad it's already taken. Seriously, it went from OK article to FA class by rewrite of MrN, but it was submitted too soon. Anyway, like he said, it ain't over yet, I wish it could be resubmitted, so people can see it's not mine alone (which just don't cut it!). But I take credit for the "living from the dead" joke.--Funnybony 14:56, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

Gay

Is completely FA quality. Should be resubmitted. Nobody said the world was unfair!--Funnybony 14:56, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

I think this is VFA potential, but could use a little work first. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 22:03, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

That's an old battle that one... Mr N

22:58, Feb 3

If Admiral has some edit ideas, perhaps he could finish it to VFH retry. That would be a good reason to resubmit. Maybe the bulky "Vandal" warning at the top could be ditched if not REALLY needed?? Perhaps it only needs ONE quote at the top, maybe move Wilde quote down to another section (I always got shit for at-the-top quotes, specially more than one). It won't take much.--Funnybony 01:47, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

If MrN hadn't made a new Admiral of IC, maybe Admiral would have time to work on articles. (Really, I'm happy to help out, but I've spent lots of hours trying to get IC started up again, so for right I don't have time for too much else here. I haven't even done a Pee Review since January 29. Horrors!). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 03:55, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Anyway... Just a friendly tip as always, but... I would probably lay off the VFH self noms for a bit now. 2012 might just be your best chance so far... Good luck with it! Mr N

22:47, Feb 5

Thanks! Will do. More later--Funnybony 07:42, February 6, 2010 (UTC)

So I was wondering... Do you remember this edit? :D *Cough* ... Be cool man. Cool as a cucumber. ;) A cucumber which has been frozen solid by the recent outbreak of global cooling anyway... ;) Mr N

12:45, Feb 6

Yes, now that I checked I remember. OK, back into remember-ville, and chill.--Funnybony 08:28, February 7, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 4th February 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

Feb 4th, 2010 • Issue 74 • Ain't It Uncool? News!

Spang Archives Talkpage; End of World Expected Imminently

By UU

Renowned Wikia fan, code monkey and sexy admin Spang has performed what many users believe to be the clearest sign to date of impending apocalypse: he's archived his talk page. After almost 2 years of torturing the Wiki's servers, and having amassed a fairly impressive 410,844 bytes of content, Spang finally decided to give people the chance to talk to him without waiting for half an hour for his page to load. When asked for his reasoning behind this unprecedented move, the muddy funster quipped "no comment". Faced with such dazzling repartee, this reporter has no choice but to cut to the next story and hope he has some better quotes to pad it out with.

Award Winners Speak Exclusively to UnSignpost

By Someone who definitely isn't running out of ideas already this year

Well, there you go folks, looks like the "... of the Year" award voting is done and dusted for another year. Thanks to all who voted; without you, the admins would probably have less to do, which would obviously be dangerous. Anyway, that aside, your ever-topical Unsignpost went and mugged the various winners for comments on their various wins. Several of them, of course, have already made their feelings clear to those who voted for them by way of the traditional thanks templates. Apart from UU, because he's a lazy ass. Or because he's busy writing this. Whichever. Anyway again, for the benefit of those who didn't vote for the winners, and don't watch their talk pages, here's what they had to say:

Runaway WotY Hype said: "Thanks, you guys!! If you'll permit me to be dead serious for the first time ever on the wiki, this really is an honor, and it's pretty damn touching that so many people came out in support of my work. Whew. Being serious felt weird. I feel... strange. BALLS BALLS PENIS COCK. Ah... there's the stuff!" He then went off to write another My Sojourn spin-off.

Even more runaway PotY Sonje said: "Thank you, I intend to return as soon as I can. I am currently in Africa with very limited internet access. I'll try to time my return to co-incide with the Oscars so that I can get some pointers for my acceptance speech." Admittedly, that was before we asked her for a comment, but then, she is in Africa with limited internet access.

Joint UotY Socky channeled Churchill to say: "*scrapes throat* Ahem! I would like to say to the community as I would say to anyone who joined this website: Uncyclopedia has nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory. Victory at all costs — Victory in spite of all error — Victory, however long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no survival. … That seems to be the wrong Churchill speech. Okay, I'll give it another try. *scrapes throat again* The gratitude of every home throughout the world, except in the abodes of the guilty, goes out to the British airmen and Belgian spies who, undaunted by odds, unwearied in their constant challenge and mortal danger, are turning the tide of the Wiki War by their prowess and by their devotion. Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to two people. And so on and so on… Woot! Woot!" Long-winded bugger.

And other joint UotY UU said: "wow, Socky's already left me needing a lot of filler for the right panel, so I'll keep this shortish. First, it's good to see someone who isn't an admin get their hands on this award, and Socky's hard work deserves recognition. Second, it's great to have my complete lack of a life recognised in this way. Third, did someone say Spang's archived his talk page? What the fuck's that all about?."

Oh, and Dr. Skullthumper was UGotY, but that was a foregone conclusion anyway. He didn't seem to have any comment of his own to make, so TKF hopped in to the breach with "I call the award a "fascist disgrace" and "move to permanently disbar Mike Socia, that ape from Lighting who made my mole visible to all of the goddamn world watching the ceremony."" Which about wraps it all up, I hope.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

13:56, 2 February 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 161.12.7.4 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Excess stupid detected. Take it to Niggermania, VNN or one of the many charming forums for racist lunatics like yourself out there.)
11:15, 1 February 2010 MrN9500 (Talk | contribs) blocked 151.49.98.244 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (ITALY does not rule and has not ruled for quite some time now actually. Blame the Christians if I were you...)
19:46, 29 January 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.11.81.96 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Improve your manners, cunt)
09:51, 29 January 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.167.51.90 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (UN:VAIN. have a quick read of it, and see why we're not interested in you. although you could probably just look in a mirror and figure that out...)

~~Biopic~~ Legend of the Week

MadMax. Forty two thousand edits. Countless other contributions that can never be measured by simple Wiki stats software. No drama. Ever. Probably the single greatest force for good on this miserable little wiki. And it took us until issue 74 to profile him. The UnSignpost sucks; Max certainly doesn't.

Old School Featured Article of the Week

The 1x1x1 Rubik's Cube is by far "The Most Difficult Puzzle Of All Time™". Many have scrambled, twisted and turned this mythical puzzle, but few have solved it. By the end of this article, YOU TOO will be able to solve this puzzle. Unfortunately... you may encounter some problems on the way though... such as, twisting the cube the wrong way when speedsolving.

The Desperate Return of Cajek Ban of the Week!

(Block log); 10:20 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10000 years ("And he shall scourage the Earth for 9999 years. And then one more" Book of Mordillo, chapter 1 verse plox. )

Horoscope of the Week

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 22) - So, yeah, it's the start of Black History Month. And speaking of Black History, seems like it's an appropriate time to finally track down your real father. You see, it turns out, that's not just a Jew-fro.

For the rest of this week's 'scopes, see here.

Redundancy of the Week

Did we mention Spang's archived his talk page?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001 (bot) 15:11, Feb 4

Your revision to soma

I also saw that you went for VFH, and I think you missed the point of my review. It wasn't the structure or the jokes, but the concept that was the biggest problem. I think the 30% that you ignored was probably the most important...uh...I know that humour is totally subjective, but the truth is, if you don't make other people laugh they probably won't be voting for you. Intellectual stuff tends to work better on VFH because you have to keep in mind that regular voters appreciate articles like this and this, two articles that I am, frankly, too stupid to get. If your perceived intelligence does not reach 40-50% of those 2 articles you're probably not going to get many votes. Also, if you don't like Wikipedia styled articles there are many more out there that don't use it, but you really have to adopt a consistent persona and make the persona clear at the start. A note on that: stupid personas tend to not work, unless the persona is painfully stupid that the stupidity is obvious, but not obvious in a silly way but in a smart way. (That made a whole lot of sense huh?) Another thing is explaining and providing context is so important for obscure subjects, so the reader can build on existing presumptions. Anyway I don't know if this message was called for and I might be too much of a busybody and you can also decide to ignore most of my ranting like you did last time. It might also be totally wrong because I'm not the most experienced in VFH. Please excuse the noise (or text). ~ 10:34, Feb 8, 2010

I have a brother who's intelligent and creative, and comes up with creative things I couldn't. But he often assumes people know what he's talking about, as if they're inside his own head. I understand him better than anyone on the planet, and he still confuses me. I think you, Funnybony, may have a similar situation. Remember that your reader may come from a different part of the world, have grown up in a different time, and have had completely different experiences than yours. I probably tend to vote against articles on VFH, but have voted for articles where I knew nothing about the topic because the writer put in several jokes that I, even in my ignorance, could understand and find funny. For example, I voted for you Laird Hamilton even though I had no idea who that was until I read what you wrote. Hope this helps! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 20:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Dude! Thanks! I have always had this. In my band we appealed to Mods (in UK) and ultimately are labeled a "Psychedelic Band" (#6 in top 100 Psychedelic Records with Tomorrow Never Knows at #1). So I never expect the majority to see, hear, think like me. I know if I like it then there will be others who will too. My designer-jewelry business is doing well for 20 years, not because I sell to the majority, but because I sell to the minority, who adore my designs. So I never expect to go with the majority or appeal to the majority. But there ARE others who think and laugh at the things I think and laugh at. And in Jeweler Business worldwide I'm known as the number one innovator, and I get the most free PR. So something has GOT to be right. Anyway, MrN is helping me and I'm learning. But I just do not want to change my sense of humor. Some (most) of the feature articles are boring and unreadable to me, about 70%, so that just means I'm a radical, not conservative, if I want "boring" then I read Wikipedia. Like the Mike Jackson article up for nom. I voted for it, but it wasn't 10% funny and sounded almost exactly like a Wikipedia factual article... it was 90% real "Content" - it's straight as an arrow. But that's normal because in this world most people (majority) are really squares. Hey, thanks for the vote, Laird once punched the ocean so hard that all the fish became unconscious for 11 seconds.--Funnybony 08:00, February 9, 2010 (UTC)

Sounds to me like you should take a look at some of the articles written by Cajek. I think you will find you like his style, and if you look at the quality of the features he has, and how he does them you will learn a lot. Check out some of these: J'accuse, Red Light, Why?:Cancer is Great, Heat death of the universe (co-authored with TheLedBalloon), Classy, Why?:Hunt Unicorns, Normal, Why?:Give Up, Why?:Take Your Fish To Work, G Rated Talking Animal Movie, UnNews:"Hungry Hungry Hippos" celebrates anniversary, Otter, UnNews:Something Wicked This Way Comes, Mordor Jalapenos, Game:Oliver Twist, Unidentified man in green firing turret, Star Wars (Japanese Opera), The Old Country, UnNews:Nature Now Rated NC-17, Traditional Values, UnNews:Your family died, HowTo:Write the Great American Novel, HowTo:Turn Your Terminator On (co-authored with MrN9500), Sarah Plain and Tall, Universe (musical), Bucephalus, The Men in Blood-Stained Overcoats Who Stay Out of Sight, Waiting For Just the Right Moment, UnBooks:Polar Express, Why?:Do a Pee Review (co-authored with MrN9500), Why?:Hit yourself on the head with a baseball bat seven or eight times, Tapheselachophobia, Unfomercials:Uncyclopedia Krazy Kemistry Set, Albanian interpretationalist cinema, UnBooks:Uncyclopedia Brown and Wikipedia Brown solve the mystery of the missing smugglers and their hidden cave or something

About "...ultimately are labeled a "Psychedelic Band" (#6 in top 100 Psychedelic Records with Tomorrow Never Knows at #1)." I'm not sure I get what you're saying. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 05:04, February 10, 2010 (UTC)

The only point is that my song is world-class great (according to Record Collector's book) which was only possible because I had partners. I couldn't have been a solo act.--Funnybony 08:28, February 10, 2010 (UTC)

If 2012 fails again... It will be cos you nominated if too soon before we tarted it up more. The people voting against saying "it's a mess" are right. It is. Relatively speaking, compared to the level of quality in normal FAs. We are still finding typos, and inconsistencies in grammar, formatting, style, tone of voice used (some of your old surfer style was still in there, and contradicted with my rewrite) and layout in 2012. Those against votes WERE fair comments. I'm sorry Funnybony. I'm not buying this "Uncyc does not appreciate my style bullshit". That's not true. It's simply that you have not got to the required standard yet. Agreed, some of the FA articles are rather plane, but you will generally find a very high level of attention to detail in all of them. Good writing takes effort. Lots of it. It's the boring stuff like proof reading, and removing the less good stuff which makes all the difference. Dude. I'm telling you. It's not your "Style" which people don't like. Take some time man... Read some of Cajek's work above. Fuck it. Read ALL of it. I think doing that will give you the direction you are looking for. Mr N

08:36, Feb 9

Poor authors write. Fairly good authors rewrite. Great authors rewrite and rewrite and rewrite and rewrite. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 04:59, February 10, 2010 (UTC)

GOOD ADVICE - no doubt. Yes, I will take a look at the recommended articles. Did I add any surf-speak after your rewrite? I'm sorry about that. Your right, it was a bridge too soon. But there is always another chance. I agree about style. I'm happy with my humor, but the write ups obviously don't please some people. Like Mike Jackson I voted YES because, in spite of not being funny, it was so bloody well done. Anyway, 2012 is a good article that some people like even as is, including me (so far more like it than do not like it). But whatever more you want to do please go ahead. There is always another chance. Besides, what's it going to matter on Dec 21, 2012? The only person that will be happy on THAT date is Laird Hamilton.

LOL LOL LOL on Laird. Na, I don't think you added any surf speak after my rewrite. Probably more that I missed removing some of what I should have removed. I guess I did not remove all of it as I was hoping that you would see what I was trying to do, and go with it also... Yea, 2012 is a dam fine article now. It probably still needs more proof reading, and checking back through now though. Have you read it out aloud to yourself? That really helps... Mr N

09:16, Feb 9

BTW: Like I told before, I really need a partner in most what I do successfully. I had the song ideas in my head and could hum them to the guys, but without the band I had nothing. Like where you have helped me, to that extent it is always better and better. Thanks as always--Funnybony 08:55, February 9, 2010 (UTC)

Actually, just having a page stick is already a success. I had an article Flying Purple People Eater which was kept while another previous article "Purple People Eater" was deleted. I was really happy to be considered keepable--Funnybony 09:03, February 9, 2010 (UTC).

Yep. I'm enjoying working with ya man, and hope to do lots more together in the future. I have an article called "Lord Monckton DENIER" planned which I suspect you might want to contribute to. But... Uncyc is not about having just one partner. Ya need multiple partners, to learn from lots from different people. Cajek was one of the people which helped me develop my style, but also Mhaille, Under user, Led, Modus and various others helped me a lot to figure out "my style" whatever that is... To get others interested in your writing, so that you can learn from them you need to get interested in their writing. Like I said... Go find out what Zana Dark is working on. Ask her if you can get involved with her latest article. I think you can learn a lot from her also, and she has similar interests to you... Mr N

09:16, Feb 9

Tomorrow Never Knows

(I'm putting this here so it doesn't get lost in the discussion above). I'm still confused by your comment of your '"Psychedelic Band" (#6 in top 100 Psychedelic Records with Tomorrow Never Knows at #1)."' As it happens, within the past month I listened to the Beatle's Revolver album which has that song while reading about the album and each song online--it was fun reading the background and listening at the same time. "Tomorrow Never Knows" is listed as a Lennon-McCartney song but was apparently largely written by Lennon, and the title is from one of Ringo Starr's off-the-wall statements. I'm assuming you aren't claiming to be any of the Beatles, which is why I'm confused. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 22:08, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

Oh dear, words!?? In Record Collector Magazine's book "100 Greatest Psychedelic Records" the Beatles, "Tomorrow Never Knows" is at #1, and The Misunderstood's "I Can Take You to the Sun" is at number 6 (5 places behind the Beatles, but ahead of Hendrix, Floyd, and all the rest). In fact, PEELENIUM: Greatest Songs of the 20th Century: 1966 - I Can Take You To The Sun by The Misunderstood^[1]."I Can Take You To the Sun/Who Do You Love" was #6 in "100 Greatest Psychedelic Records", a 2004 book published by UK's Record Collector Magazine^[2]. I wrote the lyrics and most of the song, but NEEDED PARTNERS to make it work. "Partners" is the key word in that discussion. Hope that's clear. I've given the Wikipedia links so you can check. Yo! Here it is..

Here it is on YouTube: I Can Take You To the Sun.

Hope you like it. I wrote it with A PARTNER. Thanks for asking.--Funnybony 05:59, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, I "misunderstood" your post. I think I know who you are now. Like you I used to live in Riverside. In fact my article Sun Bee was partially inspired by the silly horror movie Wikipedia:Bug (1975 film) that was partially filmed at UCR. That song sounds characteristic of music that became popular a few years later--if you really are who I now suspect you are, you guys were innovators--I'm a big fan of Pink Floyd, and it sounds like you were doing the psychedelic sound before they were. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 04:36, February 15, 2010 (UTC)

Hey! Riverside! Yes, we moved to London (from High School in Riverside) and influenced Pink Floyd directly, as they heard us play live. Here is example of what critics say, ""The Misunderstood (were) hailed in the late sixties as pioneers of the psychedelic movement by the likes of Pink Floyd."---Review by Surge Music. You can waste you time here: Wikipedia:The Misunderstood, But if you really want the low down then check the REAL info source: The Misunderstood. And if you like our psych tunes, then here R some I like even better, e.g., MY MIND: http://www.myspace.com/themisunderstood1966 Last year we were inducted into the Inland Empire Rock n Roll Hall of Fame! Whoooo!!! Enjoy!--Funnybony 06:00, February 15, 2010 (UTC)

VFD Survivor template?

Is there a VFD survivor template? I'd like to add it to BNA, which survived!--Funnybony 12:21, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

It's {{oldvfd | date = April 9, 2009 | result = Keep | page = archive180#Antbortion }} (One of my articles, par example). It usually goes on the talk page. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 09:12, Feb 12 2010

Looking at the "what links here" (it's in the toolbox) of the page like this I can't see a link to the VFD archive page. You sure it was on VFD? Ya need a link to the archive page to add to that template anyway. For examples, check the VFD archives at the bottom of VFD and look on the talk page of one of the kept noms... Mr N 10:23, Feb 12 Scratch that. I'm going senile. Mr N 10:25, Feb 12

UnSignpost 11th February 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way they did!

Feb 11th, 2010 • Issue 75 • Picking the nuts of truth out of the muesli of news. Or something.

New way to win awards, impress friends, crush rivals!

By UU

Writing competitions, eh? With the Poo Lit Surprise, the Turkey Day Ball, and a conservation week or two, it would seem Uncyclopedians can't get enough of 'em. And now there's another! But this one has a point that separates it from the herd. Well a couple of points, actually. One: it's organised by human wiki-whirlwind MadMax, so it'll probably be efficient as all get-out; two: it's a sneaky way of fulfilling a need. See, there are all these great ideas for articles floating around at UN:REQ; articles that would undoubtedly improve this festering little wiki. And there they sit, being good ideas, but not being used. This competition aims to change all that!

Yes, that's right, The Article Whisperer is a competition that gives you the ideas to get you started, all you need to do is supply the funny. What could be easier? Well, since you ask, perhaps judging it could? Max is also looking for at least 4 more opinionated types, unafraid of passing withering judgement on their peers. If you're interested in judging or entering, or if you have a good idea that would elevate this competition from being a damn good idea to a colossally awesome one, let MadMax know either on his talk page, or on the article's talk page.

For those who want to selflessly improve the wiki while crushing all around them under the steel wheels of their genius, there can be no finer opportunity!

General news round-up

By UU

As several things have been happening recently in Uncyclopedia, and ace cub reporter DogNewspaper is in some sort of snow-induced hibernation, and consequently too lazy to write individual articles on any of them, here is a quick synopsis of a couple of the more newsworthy recent events on the wiki in handy easy-to-digest bite-sized chunks.

Mordillo nearly went mad attempting to feature all articles tied for tenth place in the top 10 of last year. And then spent the rest of this month to date patiently fielding questions about how long the rest of the featuring was going to take, and when normal featuring would resume. POTR did his best to help. When not asked for a quote, Mordillo said "FUCK YOU VERY MUCH AND SEE YOU IN 2011". We think he's just talking about the top 10, and not about taking a 10 month hiatus. That is, we hope so.

A recent VFD nomination ended in a deletion marathon, as MrN and RDB spent 2 hours removing every last trace of the notorious Game:Page. Apart from the traces Mordillo deleted, that is. And the redirects to it that UU took care of, come to think of it. But still, all told, an impressive act of mass carnage only made more awesome by the fact that they somehow managed to delete Socky's userpage at one point during the proceedings. MrN claims "Both RDB and me still have sore huffing fingers you know".

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

15:04, 8 February 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 169.139.1.20 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (We are having communications issues here. When I say don't recreate, it means don't press that little create button and paste the same content for the third time)
11:55, 8 February 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.75.78.223 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (there are a million better things you could be doing with your life right now, but you're inserting barely literate insults to a sports player on a comedy wiki. must suck really hard to be you.)
08:35, 7 February 2010 MrN9500 (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.92.151.225 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (We don't care if you fuck horses. No need to tell the world. Maybe the police, but that's up to you.)

Biopic of the Week

Being as he's now been on Uncyclopedia for three bastardin' years, this seems as good a time as any to profile Kip the Dip. A man of many contrasts, Kip appears to be some sort of useful gobshite. His enthusiasm for all things Uncyclopedia, including his tireless championing of Euroipods and sterling work on The word parakeet written exactly two hundred and forty-two times have helped make this wiki what it is today. The Worst. Thanks, Kip.

Old School Featured Article of the Week

Patriotism is an air-borne disease caused by the bacterium enlistment bonusai. It was first observed in 1776 by Dr. Arnold Bazonga, but was initially confused with the alcohol-borne illness bravery. Patriotism is communicable through the auditory ingestion of feces. Contamination often occurs from politicians, entrepreneurs, country music singers, Richard Albinger and French Emperors.

Final Side-Panel Box of the Week

Because we don't need that much padding this week.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001 (bot) 12:59, Feb 11

OK partner...

take a look at this I saw your post on my talk page... I have made a start ;) My "idea" was to do this as a parody of our Holocaust denial article. It might be called Lord Monckton DENIAL maybe. Go ahead and work on the version which is in my userspace. You will notice that it's a "spork" of the Holocaust denial page, and that I have been working my way down changing what I cut and paste from that...

Go ahead and work on the version which is in my userspace Add your section in, or try to figure out how to make it work. Make sure you read the Holocaust denial article first. It's probably a good idea for you to read Holocaust denial denial also as that's related to the same idea which I thought we might shoot for... Mr N 14:10, Feb 12

I'll just dump it there and you use anything usable. I'm off to read denial--Funnybony 14:15, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

So you said "In this talk Lord Christopher Monckton will explain how the Sun, not humans, is solely responsible for global warming, and why global warming is actually quite wonderful. If it weren’t for global warming, “we would all be freezing our nuts off”, according to Monckton!" Well... This article is actually about people who are Monckton deniers? I'm not sure that some of what you have done there makes sense. Maybe it can be reworded such that the talk is Monckton explaining how to be a Monckton denier? I don't think the question and answer thing is going to work either... I'm not sure. I'm off out now, and will take another look later. Have fun with it :) Mr N

18:32, Feb 12

Wow. Lol. OK I think I see what you are doing! HeHe... Yea. We need that article also... I think we can do both. :-) Your new one can be more about the man himself, whereas the one in my userspace can be about the denial of the man. I'm going to do some more work on the one in my userspace now. Mr N

21:23, Feb 12

Lord Christopher Monckton

Off and running--Funnybony 21:39, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

Looks great to me. Mr N

22:20, Feb 13

Wow! I tried a new approach inspired by you, and it might be my best yet, because the Q&A is so bloody absurd, and the very issue is so stupid! I read one feature article that was just a letter written to EAPoe, so I saw there was more room to be creative rather than conformist. You did a great job on denier too. And your "British" template at the bottom of Monctkton is mucho cool! --- Tonight I watched 2012 DVD with my 13 year old son, and I don't care what anyone says, the mofo can really make an amazing movie. SFX were awesome!!! Hang loose, dude--Funnybony 22:30, February 13, 2010 (UTC)

Yea. You got some proper giggles out of me with this one. I think you got his character over rather well. Yea... There are almost no constraints to "style" here. Whatever that is. Maybe this article should be an UnScript, but it's cool as is IMO. I have not watched the 2012 DVD yet myself. Sounds like it's worth a watch, so I will try to get hold of it. I was worried that I had done denier too seriously. Maybe it is. I fancy that the joke is more in mocking people who use the term denier so I hope I get away with it. Max added some great links for me also... Mr N

22:41, Feb 13

Al Gores' BIG lies

..."All right! That's quite enough questions. Now, let me tell you about Al Gore's BIG LIES! But rather than bore you myself, I will show you an explanation addressing each point, which was prepared by my son's rather slender and quite well-informed American boyfriends, Mr. Carson Bell and Mr. Gabe Henderson. Please pay attention, as this is their feature film debut! And I see a promising future for these talented young directors! Especially as the weather heats up a bit. Thank you..."

Written, directed, edited, and starring: Mr. Carson Bell and Mr. Gabe Henderson.

---I watched this film a few times, and it would be hard to make a more "goof-ball" pretentious, JOKE of a feature, full of little pop-up insults, long arrogant intro-outtro, stuttering speech, it's bloody silly beyond belief. With the lead-in above, it's a joke in itself! I think, anyway! *grin*--Funnybony 07:23, February 15, 2010 (UTC)

Lord Christopher Monckton DENIER

HeHe. We can work on both! Mr N 22:02, Feb 12

References

↑ Peelenium List. Retrieved on 2008-05-13.
↑ Lua error in ...ribunto/includes/engines/LuaCommon/lualib/mwInit.lua at line 23: bad argument #1 to 'old_ipairs' (table expected, got nil).

Belligerent Bird Taser

Good concept--but it's not in the form of a newspaper article but a scientific paper! It may, it should, get tagged or huffed, but if so, please change the form and resubmit. I doubt that Uncyclopedia will ever encompass UnScienceJournal (unless perhaps that's your calling) but that's where this dispatch belongs, not UnNews, unless its form changes radically. Spıke ¬ 00:41 13-Feb-10

Random

I randomly added this section to your talk page. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 86.137.50.71 (talk • contribs)

Careful Mr IP. Don't go doing stuff like that. You will make Funnybony think he is starting to become famous or something. :P Mr N

22:43, Feb 13

I AM famous, I mean, my next door neighbor even asked for my carbon footprint--Funnybony 10:36, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

I'm sure yours is not as big as Al Gores... Mr N

10:52, Feb 14

UnNews:Lead singer of The Clash dead at 57

I'm afraid I need your opinion! Is the above dispatch more funny than it is tasteless? Spıke ¬ 17:02 15-Feb-10

Yeah! that's a good one, bro, sure! It's soooo sad about the poor chappy!!! But the Song Remains the Same!--Funnybony 17:17, February 15, 2010 (UTC)

Record Collector's list: 100 Greatest Psychedelic Records (we're at #6)

http://rateyourmusic.com/list/LoBee/record_collectors_100_greatest_psychedelic_records__british_/

UnSignpost 18th February 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

Feb 18th, 2010 • Issue 76 • Now with 20% more vanity!

Understanding of the universe is shattered; Creation as we know it is defunct

By POTR

Imperial colonisation is back, and in true colonisation style, is taking religion to the masses.

One of the most controversial elements of religious understanding has been the answer to the question "How did we get here?" This has often been seen in the debate that has been long held between Creationists and Evolutionists. Now that Imperial Colonisation is back on its feet, under the able guidance of IC Buccaneer Admiral Why?, they are educating the masses on this as we speak.

"The article had been befouled by some evil doers, probably French or Spanish or Americans or worse. We are diligently researching and writing to bring the article in line with the Truth." stated Buccaneer Admiral Why?.

A dramatic re-write is in process, as Why? has all his seamen working towards the noble goal of indoctrinating the masses in Creationist theory. After some false starts involving a banana and a jar of peanut butter, the recreation of creationism is being created.

"The colonized article will show how the Empire has the right and duty to colonize everywhere by any methods available, and that anything we do is God's will. We will finish it by Saturday, 20 of February, or by Saturday, 27 of February, depending upon how long it takes us to colonize the natives. Anyone who wishes to apply to join our noble effort may do so at Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization." Why? stated in closing.

Darwin awards - Uncyclopedia Stylie

By POTR

Recently a n00b by the name of I LIKE PIE!!! chose to join the Uncyclopedia family. After a very short time he demonstrated the behaviours that make Uncyclopedia the place that it is. Of course, removing edits and formatting fixes by other users had him come to the attention of Dr. Skullthumper, who politely left him a message along with a 48 hour ban.

Fortunately he showed the resilience that 10 year olds have when they are in the middle of doing something completely idiotic, and continued to trawl through people's talk pages, undo their edits, and generally be a dick. MrN9500, understanding the right balance of politeness and harshness, gave I LIKE PIE!!! a friendly message on his talk page, with a 1 week ban to support the severity of his words.

Undeterred, I LIKE PIE!!! later returned. 1 week and 35 minutes after his previous ban, MrN repeated his previous words to the young man, along with a further 1 week ban.

Thankfully, it appears that I LIKE PIE!!! took MrN's words to heart, as he managed to last a further 30 minutes after this second ban before he ran afoul of Roman Dog Bird, who in true RDB style demonstrated what an infinite ban actually means.

When hard-hitting journalists pressed for details relating to the banning of this pre-pubescent pestilence, MrN replied "What kinda a journalist are you man!?!"

Congratulations, I LIKE PIE!!!, for becoming the inaugural Uncyclopedia Darwin award winner, and removing yourself from the meme pool that we all enjoy.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

Under user blocked 206.113.136.253 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (y0u h@v3 b33n b@nn3d (don't be a tw@t))
MrN9500 huffed "Onlytheashesremain" ‎ (You call that an article? Put your back into it!!!, not that we are calling you stupid you understand. Dave, can we call you Dave?)
Roman Dog Bird huffed "Bucket of Shit" ‎ (Funny title, but the content proves that you like to suck big, fat, black, dick. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but you obviously have trouble admitting it. Well....I'm not here for you dude. Sorry.)

Biopic of the Week

Hmm, who to bio this week? Well, it's been a while since we covered {{username}}, we could always go back to that old chestnut... Or maybe something esoteric, like profiling the sidebar, that'd fit with Unsignpost tradition. Hmm. Or maybe we could note that Turbo-Whoring machine, one-man Doritos fan club and Torch-Carrier by appointment to someone called "Jenny", CheddarBBQ hasn't actually asked to be profiled this week, and therefore decide this is the perfect opportunity to profile him.

Usurping of the Week

The Unführer of Der Unwehr has recently demonstrated the concept of survival of the fittest by finally having someone with more DU points than him threatening his position. "This is unacceptable, and will not be tolerated. Following standard Nazi protocol, the young officer in question will be forced to resign his position due to his disturbing excess of competence, just like what Hitler did to Rundstedt, List, Manstein, Bock, Rundstedt again, Busch, Leeb, and Rundstedt a third time. I wash my hands of this." Unführer Guildensternenstein said in response.

Stand-in of the Week

It has come to our attention that an anonymous user has infiltrated the presses here and overtaken the majority of the writing for an issue of the Unsignpost. When approached by Necropaxx to discuss this catastrophe, he is quoted as saying "I... is a... butt."

This editorial team couldn't agree more.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001 (bot) 23:33, Feb 18

Any chance

you could look at this? Some dude keeps adding stuff about "a book" or something. I figured you might know if this fits with the style of humour, or if it's actually some guy trying to sell something? Maybe you could sort it out? I have no idea what's going on, and thought you might know more about this than me... Mr N 23:53, Feb 21

Bro! Here's the real subject http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jat_people. The author of Jat certainly knows his shit. No, he's not selling anything. Just giving away free laughs. I liked it. Does somebody keep adding something commercial? There are lots of books on the Jat. And anyone who lived in North India, like I did for 6 years, knows a Jat or two!--Funnybony 16:49, February 25, 2010 (UTC)

Cool. I figured you would know what this was about. It's the "In his book, professor Kaiyan has ably demonstrated that" type stuff.... and the fact that it's got "You can contact me at [email protected]." in it which set my radar going. If you say that's reflective of the subject then that's cool. Cheers. Mr N

18:51, Feb 25

No dude! That's not cool, as you say. I missed that e-mail contact. If it's a real contact it should deleted. And if its a bogus contact it should also be deleted. So that email should be deleted! Daa! Don't you agree!? But I think his mention of source book info is fine! Also, it needs a wiki link to Jat_people. Other wise, it's amazing that anyone would take the piss out of the violent Jats and then give their email! Weird!--Funnybony 19:00, February 25, 2010 (UTC)

I don't know. That's why I'm asking you! I can't tell if this is a joke or it's serious. I know a "Jat" is a real thing, but I don't know enough about the culture to tell if the book references are part of the joke or are actually an advert. If it's a real book the references need to go. He keeps talking about the book all through the article. Maybe it's an article "written in the style of the subject", but as I don't know the subject I can't figure it out. Could you maybe take another look and remove what you think is not appropriate? Mr N

19:16, Feb 25

Done! (mostly) I have to get another close read!--Funnybony 19:19, February 25, 2010 (UTC)

Dude...

When you write an UnNews... Add it to Template:RecentUnNews. It's NOT vain to do so. All the regulars here just about always add any UnNews which they do to the template so they appear on the front page. I just added your latest (not your very latest cos you are still working on it) but you need to start adding them in there yourself. You will know when it's good enough. Don't be shy about doing it man. Mr N 10:33, Feb 22

UnNews:Afghanistan: NATO Air Strike Kills 190,000 Civilians

I edited this dispatch to remove reporting about reporting. Whether the source is AP or UnNews, the news is the news; the news is not that you reported the news.

I made one other edit for which you may want to add replacement text. I know you have been out of The Country for a while, but the current President did not say, "I did not have sex with that woman." That was two Presidents ago. In general, Presidents don't say that sort of thing. It is a plus when you can relate a fantasy news release to events in reality in a clever way, but this just doesn't make sense. Obama? He does a lot of talking about "the mess I inherited," about "transforming the country," and about "spreading" stuff around. Your putting Clinton's words in Obama's mouth is as unfunny as if you had him saying, "I am not a crook," like Nixon. Spıke ¬ 12:28 22-Feb-10

Well bullseye! I think that was the idea. Nothing has really changed with any of the presidents, same old lies told in different ways. Having Obama using the same material as his predecessors is funny as it implies that they are robots reading from the same script. Mr N

13:14, Feb 22

Granted you can have fun by quoting the President lying after a military attack with huge civilian casualties. I'm only arguing for using topical quotes rather than random ones. There are a dozen clever ways to make fun of Obama. Infidelity isn't one of them. Spıke ¬ 13:22 22-Feb-10

There are a dozen clever ways to make fun of Obama. Infidelity isn't one of them.---YEAH!!! Why NOT!!? Obama is above "something"? Or What? And what does infidelity have to do with a bomb blast? I like your advice, but there is too much of YOUR OPINION for my taste. I hope you didn't screw it up!?--Funnybony 13:42, February 22, 2010 (UTC)

Why NOT? Simply because he hasn't been unfaithful (that we know of). Not that he's above it. I don't think removing the ending screwed up the article; you can re-add it, but, again, it would be cleverer if you would make fun of something Obama would actually say. Some of these are equally unrelated to a bomb blast. Spıke ¬ 13:53 22-Feb-10

something Obama would actually say, like, "Me and Tiger are above the laws-of-nature. He's super, and I'm man! Together we = Superman!", anyway, lets forget Clinton ever said anything, and just use the joke as a joke, which is more than appropriate and funny. When I checked it had already been reverted back by some one else. I don't think that you wrote the law book on Humor. But thanks for whatever you did that wasn't biased FOR Obama!--Funnybony 14:05, February 22, 2010 (UTC)

Hang on. What does any of this have to do with my penis? NOTHING. That's what. So... Why did anyone even mention it in the first place? That's what I want to know. Oh, you say it's only me that mentioned my penis. Well. Dam. You guys could have said something. I mean... It's my penis after all... *sobs* Mr N

18:37, Feb 22

Haaaa!

penis ~Formerly Annoying Crap 17:29, 2 March 2010

I think it's time...

I gave you this:

Jolly Good Show!

MrN9500 could not help but notice that you have been doing some spiffingly good deeds of late.
As such, you have been awarded this rather nice boxy type thing by way of recognition.
Congratulations.

Being serious for a bit, and penis references aside. There is no need to mention my penis any more here, but... I really think you are doing very well. I knew when I first saw you writing your first articles that you had some real potential talent and the quality of your work has been progressively rising all the time you have been here. Your new found interest in UnNews is also proving to be a real success. I'm reading your stuff now, not because I think "I want to encourage and help this guy", but because I'm thinking... "Hea, Funnybony has written something new! I bet that's funny!". I'm getting proper laughs out of some of it. The recent UnNews especially. Seriously. I really like what you do. Therefore, as is the custom when it's been a while since I have dolled out one of my self promotionally intended awards I have given this award to you. I keep a list of other past winners on my User page. As has been explained before, obviously no one actually wants this award, and it exists solely as an effort to boost my own level of self importance. As such I have given it to you as associating it with you makes the award look slightly more important than it did previously. OK, I'm not very good at complements (as you see). Just don't you ever leave this place you bugger. We need you here! Mr N 23:13, Feb 22

Aaaaa! That feels better!

Hang on!

Um... this is not actually a news story right? Is it? UnNews can be about something you have made up, but it's got to be written in the style of a a news article. I'm not sure this one is. Maybe I'm wrong. I removed the source cos well... You were IMO maybe bending the rules a bit there. Well the article did not even exist anyway! Referencing yourself is probably not a good idea. If it was a statement from say the lead singer of the Misunderstood, or someone else who was notable then sure, but it's not a good idea to include your user name. ;) Mr N 00:05, Feb 25

Also

Some dude just created this which I thought you might like and could edit a bit. Mr N 00:53, Feb 25

Gooooood!!! What could I add. It's totally funny as is! Now I'm off to check the one you asked about above... More soon--Funnybony 16:39, February 25, 2010 (UTC)

I was wondering...

Do you ever check out Special:RecentChanges? You might be missing the action dude. For example... The party currently is currently going on here ya know... :-) Mr N 16:30, Feb 25

That's a really good article.--Funnybony 16:35, February 25, 2010 (UTC)

The talk page is more amusing though. You should check out Recent Changes more often also. ;) Mr N

16:40, Feb 25

UnSignpost 25th February 2010 (It's not late your mum is)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

Feb 25th, 2010 • Issue 77 • Slurping the froth of Truth off the cappuccino of News

Games, games and more games! We have more games then you can poke a stick at!

By POTR

Is the games namespace 99.9% shit was the question elegantly asked by OptyC recently. A simple question that has sparked a storm in a teacup.

While Uncyclopedia is, undoubtably, the pinnacle of fine parody, it has been suggested the this particular poor cousin of the Main space has been allowed to fall into disrepair and disrepute due to the influx of poorly crafted content.

In the words of one editor Delete it. It's cruft and I'm not even sure if it qualifies as a parody namespace of anything on Wikipedia.

However, despite the lack of quality content, a significant portion of users have requested that it remain in play, however it be improved by having a little tender loving care given to it, along with a more rigid amount of cruft huffing.

As such, it is with open arms we welcome the inclusion into this realm of the new moderator of the Games namespace OptyC, who will be referred to going forward as the Game Master.

Upon the announcement of this singularly spectacular accolade, Optyc's first words were Maybe I shoulda just kept my mouth shut, eh? Although much respect must be levelled his way at the way he has taken to his new role with much gusto, winnowing through the chaff to find the kernels of wheat available in there.

For more information on these developments, visit Forum:The Games namespace.

It's Alive!

By Mordillo

A new blow to the "democrats"/"liberals"/"whiny bitches" of Uncyclopedia, opposing the disputed hereditary law. Senior member of the non existent Cabal and editor-in-chief-in-absentia of this newspaper, UU has announced the birth of heiress to the throne, also known as UUette. UUette was reportedly born holding a scepter and a miniature ban hammer, wearing a crown and QVFD grade galoshes and waving frantically at the hysterical cheering masses. The non existent cabal promptly announced a reserved seat for UUette in the VFS round of 2026 as well as the prestigious position of "Noob of the Month".

A shrouded spokesperson for the Cabal noted that "it would have been important for the Cabal, were it to exist, that the existing Cabal dynasty, especially one coming from such a quality genetic specimen such as UU, shall continue without disturbance. The Cabal is greatly pleased with UU and Mrs. UU for bolstering its numbers for the ~~greater~~ Cabal's good."

Sporadic demonstration of support were noted around the Uncyclopedia realm, as supporters of the Cabal were seen with "DEAR UUette IS GREAT" and "ALL HAIL THE HEIR APPARENT" signs. So called "democratic"/"liberals"/"whiny bitches" protests were dealt with swiftly and efficiently.

And from all of us in the UnSignpost here is one big congratulations UU, may your daughter have huge...errr..tracks of land.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

sannse blocked EugeneKay with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (WILL YOU PLEASE STOP GETTING BLOCKED!)
MrN9500 blocked 173.53.142.210 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (HOWARD STERN IS *NOT* THE GREATEST. Steve Davis is considerably better for example. As is Burt Reynolds.)
Under user 80.239.242.142 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (me again - I see you're still a twat. have much longer to do something about that.)

Biopic of the Week

Puppy on the radio's signature has been a long and respectable member of the Uncyclopedia community for many months. Undergoing genetic manipulations and constant radiation bombardment, it now qualifies as a sentient entity by its own accord.

The signature, expecting to be emancipated in the near future, indicated that it likes funny articles, men who are not afraid to be in touch with their feelings and long strolls on the beach.

Mordillo's profound statement of the Week

"I don't mind boobs"

Source: User talk:MrN9500

Word of the Week

Abodespotism

IPA: /əˈbəʊˈdɛs.pɒt.ɪzəm/

the rule of a household despot; the exercise of absolute authority over the household.
absolute power or control of all housemates; tyranny of shared living.(n) (eg. "While you live in my house you will abide by my rules.")

Origin: Abode Despotism
Related forms: Ab⋅od⋅es⋅pot⋅ic , Ab⋅od⋅esp⋅o⋅tis⋅tic, Ab⋅od⋅esp⋅o⋅tis⋅ti⋅cal, adjective Ab⋅od⋅esp⋅o⋅tist, noun
Note: Often confused with Nespotism.

Source: Undictionary

Underwater Sea Monster Sighting of the Week

Deep sea recent changes fishermen have been repeatedly reporting sightings of a huge scaled fire breathing creature, roaming the deep. Later on, the on call coast guard confirmed that this was a "once in a generation sighting of Ogopogo. Ogopogo, a mythical see creature than has been tamed by the Cabal many generations ago, has been lost for decades but now apparently decided to come back and check what's for dinner. Tsunami waves are expected all across the pond for the next few weeks.

Administrative Notification of the Week

Uncyclopedia's management would like to thank all participants of the 2nd Dubai Uncyclocon and would like to emphasize that it takes no responsibility for the excessive usage of forged passports. Please, people, try to be more discreet next time eh?

9001 (bot) 20:48, Feb 28

THANKS A GIG!

You're freakin' awesome cats! (in spite of being suspected of recognizing the very existence of a non-surfer, non-Local)

--Funnybony 14:13, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

WFMU Marathon on now

http://www.wfmu.org. They sometimes play music by somebody who's misunderstood. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 21:29, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Rock

..Band is consuming my life! Hi there. How are you? Can I help you find anything today? Oops! Sorry. For a second there, I thought I was at work...

So who ARE you, anyways? Have we met before? Are you huge in Japan? (Because I am) Are you hot or not? Ginger or Maryanne? Huh huh huh?

"Oops, I Crapped My Pants!" ~Formerly Annoying Crap 17:11, 2 March 2010

Wow! Cool! Hi Zana! I never met a Jap star! Me personally, besides being UN:Funnybony and a humble-pied student of MrN I am also the 2nd most Unfamous Nobody in Bleached Bone, North Dakota, primarily because no such place exists and I do exist, although in the magical Kingdom of Siam, where I'm a humble servant of the Royal Family.

and yes, you might be able to help me. I'm looking for a 10 ruppee "Haj note" which was not spent in Mecca. And MrN suggested that, perhaps, allknowing Zana could conjure up just such a rarity.

Thank you very much for the reply. I hope you get my eBook. There is gold in them thar hills!

Cheers!!!--Funnybony 17:40, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Nice work

You may have seen the goings on about the photoshop thing, but maybe it's better you be recognized in March anyway. Photoshop, foolitizer noms, and I've finally gotten around to reading some of your body of work here and it's very good and prolific, so let's up the ante and nominate you for writer of the month too. Go on, narrate an article, we'll put you up for that too. Too many good writers are going undetected here, some of them loners who have never had anyone leave them a message on their talk page. You're not that, but I think your work is not seen enough so, noms galore. Why not. ~ 21:17 2 3 2MX

Sob! I'm, like, speechless! Sniff! - U COOL CATS

--Funnybony 22:39, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

MadMax, we can say it like Seinfeld refers to Newman. It's like when Mother Theresa died, and the world mourned, for a minute, and then Princess Di got killed and people said "Wasn't there something in the news about that old nun in Tibet?" (I know, India, but that's for the joke in the sentence). MadMax. The only name which would beat everyone. MadMax. Like an eagle circling the rabbits a'feedin' and taking its pick of the lot. A giant among dwarfs. But I did link some of your pages onto the writer's nom, see if those are the ones you'd like linked. I've been reading your stuff throughout, and lots of wheat among the wheat. In other unnews, you may have some thoughts about the "Tantra" article, someone came in and wrote one not knowing we were a humour site, and left quite a bit of good data. I offered to go in and funny it up, and will do so if he doesn't come back soon (haven't checked on it in over a day), but you may enjoy the page from the eastern viewpoint. Lots of words here, enjoy the day. Will leave with the only word that shake the spin out of the thousand chakras--MadMax. ~

2:01 4.3.2Mx

MrN passes by...

Dude. Here us what you need to do.... Pee Review. That's what you need to do. You remember that Cajek guy I told you about? Did you read many of his articles? You should. He became an awesome writer because of Pee Review. Basically he wrote an article... He put it onto Pee Review... He did some reviews. There were times when over half of the articles waiting to be reviewed were from Cajek. People did not mind because he was also doing half of all the reviews which were being done on Pee Review. Dude, you need to review other people's articles, and you need to get yours reviewed. You want input into your articles right? THAT is how you get it. THAT is how you learn to be a better writer, by interfacing with other writers, and very closely looking at their work. You can pick which ever article looks interesting to you (to review) and that will be better because you will know more about the subject. But, dude...? I just don't get it. I see that you have put Local up for review now, but why did you not do it before? Don't "worry" about using Pee Review. That is what it is there for. You could put some other articles up for Pee Review also if you wanted to. It does not need to be something you have just written, all that matters is that you remember that Pee Review is give and take. IMO you actually probably learn more from reviewing other peoples stuff than writing yourself. I have done 50 or 60 reviews myself. Cajek and UU have done hundreds. Many of our best writers have done many, many reviews. What you should do also, is keep a record of the articles which you have reviewed, and keep a link to the pee review somewhere, maybe on your user page. Remember to check out UN:PRG if you have not already. Cajek and me wrote that btw. ;) EVERY TIME you write an article... You put it onto Pee Review. Always.

On another note... You are wandering a bit into writing stuff which relates mostly to Uncyc inside humour. Dude, that is worrying me a bit. That's often something which writers start to do when they are beginning to get bored with Uncyc. The VFH reference you just added to Local worried me a lot. Your last UnNews was too inside-joke (the one which mentioned the actual user names). It's kinda different if you mention an Uncyc admin (like me) but even then, it's still kinda pants to do so. Think of it this way... Does an outsider care about reading about MrN? I really doubt it. People generally are not interested in reading about inside-jokes if they are not insiders. When people vote on VFH especially they know that, and take that into account. It's obvious you are starting to get a little frustrated with lack of success at VFH. You are awesome, and many of your articles are great. You UnNews are a higher quality than your mainspace articles for some reason. I think part of it is that they are smaller, and you struggle compressing the quality stuff together in your mainsapce articles. Basically you just miss a bit of knowledge about what sells well at VFH but more importantly you miss a bit of knowledge about what really puts the punters off at VFH. To get that knowledge you got to do what I'm suggesting dude. Pee Review.... That's our system for getting and giving feedback. Don't be worried about using it.

On another note... How come you don't have a custom sig yet? You know, like I do (with the tits), and the other regular users do? You should get a cool sig dude! Not having one makes you look like a kook! Seriously! Dude, if you want to be considered a local... Check out this In my preference box I have {{subst:nosubst|User:MrN9500/sig}} {{subst:CURRENTTIME}}, {{subst:CURRENTMONTHABBREV}} {{subst:CURRENTDAY}} which is what the cool kids do. You just need to create User:Funnybony/sig and you are up and running. My sig is User:MrN9500/sig if you wanted to use that as a basis to customise your own. Either that or pick another user who has a better sig than mine, and copy theirs a bit before customising it to your own local requirements. Actually... Scrap all that I said about Pee Review... You need to get your sig sorted you kook! Check out UN:SIG also. ;) Mr N 11:27, Mar 4

Not from "Custom Signiture"

Alright! Alright! VFH judges ARE cool too!

Yea, I saw that one. I kinda agree with Zim's comment on the talk page. It was short on links to other articles also. Oh... I missed that you had put local up a while back. Guess I should have checked that! What a kook! And... Get a signature you kook! and... Come on into Forum:Village Dump (that's the serious stuff and BHOP (that's the silly stuff). Really dude. Come on in and contribute to the forums from time to time. Get yourself a sig first, or everyone will think you are a kook! You can put a link to your latest articles in you sig if you want, and that's a great way to help advertise your articles. Be classy with it though dude. Don't be too obvious or everyone will think you are a kook. :P Mr N

11:55, Mar 4

Dude! You were born into computer age. I never saw a mobile phone until I was 40, and no PC until I was 45, then switched to Macs at age 45:00:01 second later. You take things for granted that I have no clue. And "Manual" is a Mexican. But I bet you can teach me how to make a sig. I guess I just read the link!? BUT, reading the link is Manual Labor, and he's a Mexican! When you're 62 you're going to be dealing with young guys half your age, and their going to think, "Jeez! This old coot, MrN! He doesn't even know what a wireless, keyboard-less, PC-less and Self-less XDM is! What a dummy!" And another young user will write: "MrN!? That coot still believes in electricty! Can you believe that shit!? Hahaha" Haa!--Funnybony 12:08, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

I wrote my first software when I was 6 or 7. I was on the internet (b4 the WWW) when I was 7 or 8. I'm not that young ya know. That was well over 25 years ago. :P The internet was invented at the same time for both of us dude. The WWW came out in 90s. You can't hide behind being old on this one! Lol. .... Well, it's that manual labour guy who sometimes knows what you need to do! Because you don't want to talk to him you are missing out on some rather important things you need to know sometimes. Have you ever read UN:PRG? That's useful man. Read it. If you are going to tell me that you never actually read HTBFANJS in going to shoot you. :| Being great takes effort and is boring sometimes. If it was easy everyone would do it. You do need to read the links about sigs I'm afraid. Part of what it tells you to do what can't do for you. You need to edit your "preferences" (like I said) and tick the custom box. ONLY you can do that. Not even admins have access to your personal preferences. Also... If you have never looked at the preferences, check out the gadgets. There is a cool editing tool you might like to use. Remember to READ what it says on the screen about it (holding down ctrl F5). OK... You don't know what preferences are right? That link near the top right of the screen which says "preferences". Also, you really need to create your own sig, as it's kinda personal to you, and should reflect your style.... Take a copy of User:MrN9500/sig, create User:Funnybony/sig and use some different pics and make sure it links to your userpage and not mine would be a good start! You also then sig with ~~~ rather than ~~~~. Sometimes you got to do the boring stuff so you can get to the cool stuff. It's like pretending you are interested in what a girl has to say so you can get into her pants! YOU KOOK! Mr N

12:30, Mar 4

---Dude, I'm, like, what? is all this? The best for me is copy good code and change the values (even if I'm clueless. I Uploaded an Avatar in Prefs. Couldn't find "Custom" box, but I'm headed back to suss it out. Cheers--Funnybony 13:02, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

DUDE It tells you in the link I gave you! It's under Preferences, (user profile tab) signature. That's where you put {{subst:nosubst|User:Funnybony/sig}} {{subst:CURRENTTIME}}, {{subst:CURRENTMONTHABBREV}} {{subst:CURRENTDAY}} it says "Custom signature (Check this box to create a custom signature in the field above. The signature uses the same wiki markup that a regular page does, including links.)" TICK THAT! YOU DID NOT READ THE LINK YOU BUGGER!1!1!111! :P :P :P READ STUFF!!!!

Also... You need to create that sig page, and put the code there. You will need to resize that image and upload a smaller version which is only 15 pixels high if you are going to copy my code. If you came into IRC once in a while, I could teach you this stuff a lot better there. ;) Come to IRC sometime! UN:CHAT. Mr N

13:25, Mar 4

Right... I sorted User:Funnybony/sig for you. NOW... All YOU have to do is the thing with the Custom signature in your preferences and you can then sig with ~~~ DO IT!!! Mr N 15:01, Mar 4

DONE

Now let me see how it looks. Man, you puter-geeks are brilliant. Thanks.--Funny bony 16:39, Mar 4 16:40, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

Dude! I'm NOW cool, cause you're cool. And that's cause you're a Local at Uncyclopedia Beach, sure. Thanks for that great sig. BTW: A THAILAND FLAG would be even more cool, cause I'm an Expat, and my loyalty is with Thailand. Ah! Cause-a you I feel like a real man.

I already went through the Pee review on Local, and it's much more serious sounding now.

I also did a New Unnews on illegal BB warfare against defenseless NATO troops!--Funny bony

16:47, Mar 4 16:47, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

Cool, you nationality changed in a flash! Now all you have to do is sig with ~~~ and NOT ~~~~ from now on, and you are sorted. and... Come on in to the Forum:Village Dump and BHOP sometime. BHOP is often a good place to hang out and exchange banter with other users, whereas the VD is for the more "serious" stuff. Now you don't look like such a kook I might even admit I know you... :P Oh, did you notice that there is a link to your latest article in your sig? You can change that link to point to whatever you fancy to help advertise your stuff. Mr N

17:06, Mar 4

Also, everyone already thinks you are my sockpuppet, so ~~you~~ I might as well play along with it. HeHe. Mr N

17:07, Mar 4

HAAAA!!! How did they suss you out? Hey, if I click Signature it gives--Funny bony

17:12, Mar 4 17:12, March 4, 2010 (UTC) So what do I click for Funny bony

17:12, Mar 4? Or is that by hand? Cheers!--Funny bony

17:12, Mar 4

That click thing is not going to work now. :( You are going to have to just type the ~~~ manually. Try typing ~~~ then ~~~~ then ~~~~~ you will see the difference. What you need is ~~~ Mr N

17:15, Mar 4

Tyvm

Thank you for nominating me for VFH! :) Smuggler!

UnNews:Lord Monkton Denies Denying Denial

Dude! You got me into Prefs, and I found the bitchin skin, "Beach" - and it's so cool that it not only makes me feel I'm a Uncyclopedia Beach Local, but also tells me how many edits I've made since 2008, and all kinds of neat looking gizmos. That plus my N-generated Signature, and FOR SURE I'm a Uncyclopedia Beach surfer, kinda, like you...COOL!!

I had this crazy idea for UnNews that is up, but not scheduled until 6th March. And it's even YOU'RE CAT. UnNews:Lord Monkton Denies Denying Denial So maybe you like to improve it BEFORE the release date. --- BUT, as you can see, I screwed-up his name in the headline, and I don't know how to fix it. We owe it to him. Dude!

Here's another UnNews for tomorrow: UnNews:Suicide Bomber Commits Suicide

I have to go back and fix Local cause I just realized that surfing the Internet is also SURFING, which means that all Uncyclopedians are Uncyclopedia Beach Surfing Locals - COOL! And that's why we stomp any kooks who mistakenly wonder in. Cheers!!!--Funny bony 19:22, Mar 5

DUDE!!!!!! Lol. I have not even read em yet, but I will... and... DUDE!!! When you want to talk to me (or just to whore your articles)... Do it on my talk page! It probably gets more traffic than yours does, and being my adopted N00b GIVES YOU THE RIGHT to advertise your stuff on my page. So... Get this advert over onto my page also, and that way more people will see it. ;) Don't you EVER feel worried about coming to my talk page. Sometimes I may have more time to edit your stuff than others, but you will always be very welcome to post over on my page. Also... If you did take a bit more of a look around such as speaking to Mr Manual Labour you would find that there are many other cool things which you are missing out on... Take a bit more of a look around dude. I mean, it took you how long to find the main page? Lol :P Oh, what should the title be? You use the "move" tab to move/rename pages dude it's up there at the top of the page!) Mr N

10:51, Mar 6

DUDE! I CAN'T believe you have been here all this time and you never noticed the move button before! LOL LOL LOL. You need to click on stuff a bit more, and find out what is what. You are probably missing the party half the time and don't even know it because you have never really taken a good look around... :-) Mr N

11:16, Mar 6

Bro! My problem is the basic truth that "Ignorance is NOT bliss!" - I'm kinda afraid of screwing anything up, and there by making you, whose Sock Puppet I am, look like a Kook. Only Locals can Surf Uncyclopedia Beach--Funny bony

11:25, Mar 6

Don't worry about screwing stuff up. What's the absolute worst, of worst which could happen? Someone needs to hit the rollback button to un-do what you did. Maybe some random passing admin who does not know wtf they are doing gets the wrong idea and blocks you? Don't stress it man. Don't worry about experimenting. If you fuck up, let me know and I can fix it. It's easy to undo stuff, and if anyone does ban you for anything you do... I can remove blocks as well as add them. You have my e-mail address. If you went into UN:CHAT that's the best thing. ;) You are NOT going to get banned. ;-) If ever you are doing something you are not sure about, make sure you include a detailed description of what you think you are trying to do in the edit summary, and that way the admin will know you are acting in good faith, and are not a vandal. Anyway... Most of the admins here know you now, so it's just not a problem anyway. Dude... Take more of a look around... Mr N

11:34, Mar 6

UnSignpost 4th March 2010 (your calendar is wrong)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Better sign it.

Mar 4th, 2010 • Issue 78 • Snorting the drug of Truth from the toilet seat of News

Controversy over Uncyclopedian leads journalist to public outcry

By Him again

The "of the Month" nominations and celebrations have been marred recently by drama circulating in forums, talk pages and on vote pages in various areas. Fortunately, whenever and wherever a drama has reared its ugly head an Unsignpost reporter has been there to cover it.

Why do I need to provide this? is now experiencing his second week of not having been nominated for anything. After mentioning to a respected editor that he had been nominated for at least one award for almost every day he had been part of the Uncyclopedia community, he bemoaned the fact that he had not been nominated for anything this month.

"I've been nommed for something EVERY SINGLE DAY of the five months I've been here--until this month. I'm not nommed for anything. It's pretty depressing, really." Why? complained

As a result of this complaining, Why? was then nominated for an award that had been more respected in the breach then in the observance - to paraphrase the bard - Nomination of the Month.

When, after a series of events, Roman Dog Bird felt obliged to nominate Aleister in Chains' Nomination for NOTM of PuppyOnTheRadio's nomination for NOTM of Why do I need to provide this?'s nomination of PuppyOnTheRadio for UGotM, he simply stated "This is a stupid award."

Meanwhile, at UotM, discussion over the number of awards given out led to an obvious discussion about the worth of RotM and UotM, which of course led, as all conversational roads do, to the hugely popular and debatably talented Dan Brown, not to be confused with Dan Kwon, as we aren't quite sure who he is.

The debate got unexpectedly heated when a talented and handsome editor suggested that another less talented editor should perform carnal and bestial acts with random household appliances.

Remember to cast your vote in AotM, PotM, RotM, NotM and WotM, or nominate the uncyc member that has impressed you most in these areas.

And of course, always remember Mordillo's words, "This one is for people who made Uncyclopedia better by cleaning up shop, helping people and allow Uncyclopedia to wobble around without falling over."

Vote today. Or tomorrow - depending on if you have the time.

Vote for Sandwiches suspended, Uncyclopedians confused

By UU

Confusion reigned supreme in Uncyclopedia this month, as the ever-popular Vote for Sandwiches page was inexplicably protected, and changed to something that appears to be called "Vote for Sysops". Historical investigation by our fearless mascot DogNewspaper has revealed that this is actually the traditional process by which new sysops are selected on Uncyc - which came as a surprise to many editors, particularly the newer ones, many of whom didn't realise new sysops could be selected.

And with the current vote count standing at 6 in favour, and with few regularly active sysops left to vote, it looks like the chances are that there will be new sysops by the end of this month - so time to start deciding who you're gonna nominate! Who will be the next to have a thousand IPs ask them on their talkpage why they deleted their useless little one-line stub? Stay tuned to find out?

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

02:36, 1 March 2010 MrN9500 (Talk | contribs) blocked 153.107.33.156 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Cyberbullying: I'm guessing that's what you are trying to do. If so, you are shit at it.)
14:57, 2 March 2010 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs) blocked {contr|207.144.173.198}} (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Anti-semitism stupidity = my foot your butt)
19:05, 2 March 2010 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked 66.211.39.160 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Vandal: Why don't you go to concervapedia, and ask them if Jesus loves you. I say, He doesn't.)
18:32, 2 March 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 87.114.246.12 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (blanking by installments is still blanking. and blanking makes baby jesus cry. it also pisses me off, and that's far worse.)

Biopic of the Week

Is it actually legal to have two Portsmouth fans on the same wiki? The subject of this week's spotlight, Nachlader cared not a jot for this important question when he joined Codeine as Uncyc's second Pompey fan. Nachlader is an occasional drunk poster in the dump, a former NotM and RotM and, lest we forget, the writer of some very fine featured articles. Shame no-one can spell his username though.

Old-school featured article of the month

Smells Like Teen Spirit was a monthly celebrity scratch and sniff magazine produced by Grunge Publications in the early 1990's.

Beckoning a time of true periodical change, young women aged eighteen to twenty-two decided that merely looking upon their favourite celebrities no longer hot-buttered their ever-so-proverbial muffins and collectively proclaimed, "Here we are... now entertain us."

Perhaps it was something in the way these determined ladies phrased this proclamation, or simply the fact that Grunge perceived a lucrative sliver of the niche market that was girls who wanted to smell things, but the call was swiftly answered with a glossy, uniquely olfactory experience hailed as "a Nirvana for the nostrils" that became the unofficial scent of Generation X.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001 (bot) 00:08, Mar 6

ninjastar

Jeff Beck rocks. John McLaughlin jazz/rocks. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 02:24, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews Ninjastar

For doing a buttload of UnNews stories. Your character, wit and smarm have lulled the masses into a false sense of security. Nice job! –Rev_zim

Hurt Locker, wave photo

Hey, great page on the Hurt Locker director. Captured many aspects of the awards and of their relationship. I'd vote to feature that one, but the problem with UnNews on feature votes, at least from what I've seen in my short time here, is that they tend to linger on the que until the news isn't fresh anymore. And the surfing pages are very good--as for the photo used on the front page, what a beautful pic! If you have a few minutes sometime can you put up a larger copy of it, that's one which could fill a whole page (guess I like big photos, take a look at something I'm working on "Giant Jew Band" to see what I mean). Alas, I'm not an ocean surfer, and the story of people like Jeff Clark and the others--as told in that great surfing documentary, can't recall the name right now, but saw it several times--makes it clear that you either have had the surfing experience or you haven't, no in-betweens. But am still an Unencyclopdia surfer, which is fine for now. Enjoy. Al in his Hurt Locker 1:40 9.3.mmx

Hey Al, sure I was a founder-Member of Swamis Surfing Assn at Swami's Reef near San Diego, California, which is an awesome break, at age 17. But the biggest wave I ever rode was about 20 foot. I prefer 4-6 feet Point or Reef breaks. My Fav spot in Swamis. Then I surfed most most of my life, until I switched to small-board Wind-Surfing, which I did until I got hurt too much and grew too old. Now I'm a Web Surfer, and you're a better Surfer than me.

The pic I just found on my iPhone so I haven't a big one. But it IS awesome. Specially if you're out there. It's like, WAY scarier than Hell.

Right! We're Uncyclopedia Beach Locals - Web Surfers, and DAT COOL! I mean, like, Encyclopedia Beach shits on Malibu! Thanks for the message. BTW: Zim improved on the Article of UnNews you mention. Did you see it after his edits? Cute! Stay cool.--Funny bony

12:35, Mar 10

Did you miss the reply to your thank you on my talk page?

If so, here it is.

originally written at User_talk:Zim_ulator#Funnybony thanks you, kind sir!

I am certain that we are on completely different medication regimens, because I only vaguely understood some of that. The gist of it, I gather, is that you're very pleased about having gotten my special UnNews ninjastar. You got it because you jazz/rock, sir. I ask only two things, if you please; first, could you follow UnNews protocol and begin your articles with "CITY IN CAPS, Country Or State In Leading Caps Only --", using the double dash -- instead of the period? This is mostly just a consistency thing. Second, if you don't mind, is perhaps to put a few more links and categories in your articles. Mind you, they're generally quite good as is. But, why not shine, since you're on my (hint) promotion list ? Now polish those boots so I can see my face in them, soldier! Cheers!

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:36, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

As a frequent and funny contributor, I am bringing you up to date personally on UnNews formatting and such. The HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article article is being expanded as per discussion on my talk page. We are going to ask everyone to adhere to the formatting guidelines, within reason.

So, please in the lead paragraph, do as I said above. Also, no ending articles with "UnNews will do something etc. etc.". Check out the brand new revision of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article for other stuff I can't think of just now. It's super good!

I'm going to go through your stuff and tidy it up accordingly. Not a rewrite, just a formatting thing. Keep up the good work, comrade, and thanks for your contributions. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 02:03, March 9, 2010 (UTC)

Why?

Why did you redate UnNews:Hobo Receives $90 Million Tax Refund from the 9th to the 10th? I can't think of one good reason... unless you hope that by doing so, it might have a better chance of being a lead story. That would be an incorrect assumption. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:50, March 9, 2010 (UTC)

P.S. -- Please archive this talk page, it takes forever to load and save changes on my dinosaur of a computer. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:52, March 9, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Zim. I'm in SE Asia. I filed that (below dated 10th) news but it showed as 9th (even it's already 10th here) and I forgot to change the date above right away. That's all. I replied on your talk page in more length. Thanks for the help. Jeez, now I gotta figure out how to "archive" a talk page, and believe it, if I already knew how, then it would be done long ago. But I'll figure it out. Ignorance is NOT bliss around here, hehe!! Dude!--Funny bony

00:24, Mar 10

Dude

Some straight up questions... Did you read HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article? and... Have you ever read HTBFANJS? I was kinda wondering. Mr N 11:03, Mar 10

Bro! The Answer is an absolute YES! But, this YES comes from the future, and comes into effect in 3 hours from now because of a time warp factor of 3.1. Dude, you're back! Yeah!--Funny bony

11:12, Mar 10

Hmm, I was kinda figuring such. When a sysop (like me or Zim) asks ya to read something... It's really a good idea for you to do so. We ain't here to make your life a bummer man. We do know what we are doing, and talking about. Most of the time anyway... Zim really knows UnNews. If he says it's like that then... It's like that man. It's like I said before, because you are not bothering to take in some of the how to type stuff you are missing out on a lot of the fun you could be having, and are not writing at the best of your potential... Enjoy. Mr N

11:19, Mar 10

THAT ~~BLOODY PROBLEM~~ will be solved tonight, as I breakout my magnifying glass or jewelers loupe and read dat inside stuff. Fo sho! Meanwhile, I'm following the formating told to me by Zim, and wrote his talk page, to which he wrote a nice reply. But DAT Local stuff will read 2NITE. Don't want to miss the fun. Might even visit BHOP Cove.

The view from Uncyclopedia Beach’s BHOP Cove

Thanks bro!--Funny bony

12:10, Mar 10

Guruji, Great. I read the entire article on an UnNews Article, and the part that I remember is this.. "These rules are still subordinate to the fact that this entire Guide is an ignorable policy. The Reverend asserts that an anti-Semitic rant in the name of a white supremacist, or a rant against Obama from Glenn Beck--or even Miley Cyrus--could be pulled off skillfully and result in successful humor. On the other hand, as one of your first handful of UnNews stories, it's unwise to pick such a challenge with which to introduce yourself to us. Before pushing the established boundaries so early in your career, perhaps you might run it by someone in charge."--Funny bony

15:40, Mar 10

Ahh, but did you read HTBFANJS? Mr N

00:14, Mar 11

[1] Peelenium List. Retrieved on 2008-05-13.

[2] Lua error in ...ribunto/includes/engines/LuaCommon/lualib/mwInit.lua at line 23: bad argument #1 to 'old_ipairs' (table expected, got nil).

[1]

[2]