User:UnSport/UnSport:Main Page

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Welcome To UnSport![edit | edit source]

A fucking sport! and anyone edit!!!!!!!

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Featured Sport:Football[edit | edit source]

Keep your eye on the ball.

Unlike other sports which use the hands such as Rugby, Basketball or Netball Football is the most popular sport in the world, and yes, it is a game played using your foot and a ball. However, it is not the only game played with these two instruments, the other one being the footjob. Handegg is a camp game invented by Americans who did not want to play rugby without body armour.

The 2006 FIFA World Cup Final was watched by 715 million people while M*A*S*H series finale: "Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen" tops the charts for the Americans with 50.15 million fat-assed slobs tuning in, and that is in America.

American football is played by Americans and Australians where they compete to win the "World Championship". The American Football World Championship is open exclusively to Americans and as such other nations are barred from entering, giving them an almost perfect record over the last fifty years. To protest against this the Australians have created Australian rules football, but no one cares because they are Australian.

It is known by everyone that people who says <redacted> are traitors to humanity and deserve a painful set of balls. If you'r a female, you'll instead spontaneously grow a penis if you say the forbidden word.

Featured Sport News:Sports award winner exposed as man not horse[edit | edit source]

A Sun newspaper exposé on BBC Sports Personality of the Year Tony McCoy is said to have "shocked the racing community." The story published this morning claims that the three-thousand time winner is of species man and not species horse and thus makes little or no contribution to the victories. A former friend of McCoy's was quoted in the article claiming that McCoy ”basically just sits on the horse." A second source commented that, "there's no peddling or any kind of exertion involved. You might have to lean down a bit and hit the poor animal, but that's it.”

British cyclists--none of whom were nominated for the prestigious award--reacted particularly angrily to the news of McCoy's victory. Olympic champion Bradley Wiggins spoke for many when he commented, ”We do something similar to McCoy occasionally: it's called going downhill.”

Members of the public spoke to UnNews today on the growing controversy. Rachael Beacons was typical of many when she said, ”I voted for McCoy and yes I feel stupid for thinking a Jockey was a breed of horse. To find out he's just a passenger getting taxied around by some poor animal makes me want to vomit up my unfertilised eggs.“

Though quick to concede recent scientific findings that reading burns twice the calories of jockeying, many from the horse-racing community have defended a man who converted to Irishness when just 17 to pursue his dream. Racing correspondent John McCirick added: ”This is a man who needs to constantly monitor his weight. He has a strict diet, daily saunas and long, intensely hot baths and sessions of speed walking. He's a real champion”

Heptathlete Jessica Ennis, who came third in the BBC competition, immediately replied, ”Have a bath, go for a walk? That's what old people do on Sundays.”

On the Irish current-events betting site Intrade, the odds of super-model Kate Moss winning next year's competition have been slashed to evens.

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