User:Nintendorulez/The

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1927 picture of Coolidge in prison. In recent years, the authenticity of this photo has been questioned.
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Selected anniversaries

The French finally manage to defeat their most pernicious enemy: the French

January 18: French Armed Forces Day (France)

  • 1778 - James Cook discovers the islands of Hawaii, names them the "Sandwich Islands": Cook is later killed by Natives after he declares the Taco to be a folded sandwich.
  • 1886 - Field hockey is invented by hyper-insecure men who feel that gliding on ice is like, "totally gay."
  • 1919 - During the Paris Peace Conference, the French Army give themselves the "Winner-est Winners" award, for having won the most in the conflict they have won.
  • 1943 - The Polish city of Kraków is liberated by the Red Army, the Poles are surprisingly ungrateful for some reason.
  • 1990 - Digital Underground's Humpty Dance becomes the No.1 song in America, listeners kill themselves in droves, having heard the voice of God.
  • 2013 - To curb certain "unfounded" stereotypes of French people, France invades Northern Mali: troops immediately go on strike due to lack of hazard pay.
  • 2024 - France surrenders. Though it is unclear who they surrendered to.


Archived Anniversaries

Word of the day

procrastination
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.

In the news

  • God in his recent interview, claims that Iran is nothing but a pigment of your imagination stating that "Just because you saw it on CNN doesn't means that it's true" Matthew 28:10. Amin.
  • The National Association of Cat Breastfeeders announced today that cat breastfeeding is apparently a sin against God, and advised its members to stop breastfeeding cats immediately, or face eternal damnation in a lake of fire and/or brimstone.
  • The President of Iran denies the existence of Uncyclopedia, stating that it's a myth created by the Western World.
  • Steven Spielberg is to release Munich, the Jew's answer to The Passion of the Christ
  • President Josiah Bartlett and President Mackenzie Allen duke it out. Both are in critical condition.
  • Following Brazil's lead, the nation of Canada makes up its mind about what language they want. Formerly both a French and English speaking country, they will be switching to 1337 on April 1st.


More Current Events at UnNews News


Did you know...

  • ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?

Do you care...

  • ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?


Read More

Writer and Noob of the Month

Wotm.jpg

Savethemooses won. In fact, nobody else even got a single vote. Fraud is suspected, though Mooses insists he won fairly. And by "fairly" he means ballot stuffing, IRC spam campaigns, and a healthy amount of nooblet pwning on the side, which has nothing to do with writing. But then, neither does the WotM award, usually. His work includes the old classic Pot v. Kettle, the highly mediocre-tastic Mediocre Britain, and a new favorite in J.D. Salinger.


Noobaward.jpg

A close-run battle between newcomers Suresh and Whywhywhy ended in a victory for the latter, proving once and for all that democracy just doesn't work. Seriously folks. Why3 likes to consider himself a Noob's Noob and promises to support the word STOAT during his tenure. His "work" includes SimShitty and HowTo:Make Enemies

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners


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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 38,363 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Pig Latin!



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