User:Mhaille/Funk

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. Sophia has inspired us to work on 38,658 articles since opening in January 2005. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent Most Popular | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories... Something seems to be missing, but everyone is too stoned to care. Vote for featured images » Today's featured article Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop Nobody's business but the Turks The Fall of Constantinople refers to the battle where the Byzantine Empire lost the city of Constantinople and all of their shiny trinkets to the Ottoman Empire, bringing an end to the millennium-or-so-long Byzantine rule of the area, and also made for a great movie plot line and a successful line of action figures. The Ottomans rebuilt the city after the siege and invited the original denizens to move back, but they declined the offer, the most likely reason being either that they did not like the Turkish curtains that the Ottomans installed or they thought the Ottomans smelled bad. All of the Greek scholars who once made their home in Constantinople moved to Italy, taking their vast book collection and recipe for flat bread — the predecessor to pizza and all of its deliciousness — with them. Eventually, people did come back to the city after Mehmed placed a sign that said "Free beer inside" at the gate to the city. (Full article...) Recently featured: My Brawl With Santa Claus on Christmas 1978 King Diamond You Are in Hell Pepperpot Pete Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia edit Selected anniversaries January 5: Guillotine Day (France) 1789 - Joseph-Ignace Guillotin first proposes the idea of a simple cutting mechanism by which the heads of monarchist scum are efficiently detached. 1793 - Maximilien Robespierre, to speed up the long lines of people awaiting execution, designs a new guillotine based on Leonardo da Vinci's primitive helicopter designs. 1794 - Robespierre's severed head goes on to become the next Prime Minister of Belgium. 1977 - The last person to be execution by guillotine, Hamida Djandoubi, sells commemorative postcards to pay for his defense trial. 1996 - Georgia State Rep. Doug Teper is reelected on his promise to rename the guillotine the freedom slicer. 2003 - British scientists invent a hybrid lethal injection/guillotine device, by which the blade of a guillotine is replaced by a row of hypodermic needles. Archived Anniversaries Today's word of the day is procrastination Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Only two years younger than Nosferatu. R.I.P. Alcohol gets the Surgeon General's Warning for cancer; chaos ensues Jimmy Carter kicks bucket at the ripe old age of 100 (Pictured) Panama Canal faces ominous threats from both global warming and Donald Trump Google reveals least popular searches of 2024 Jay-Z and Beyonce sit their children down and have a talk with them Luigi arraigned for gunning down health insurance CEO; pleads not guilty South Korea's president tries to order pizza, declares martial law instead Biden pardons Princess Peach and Blossom ... and Hunter ... and Fauci ... Special Counsel Jack Smith pardons President-elect turkey, meaning he gets away with January 6th Cicely Tyson demolishes Aaron Paul in Netflix "boxing" match Project 2025 to be implemented in 2026, riots ensue The Onion buys InfoWars. Extra true conspiracy theories coming soon! "Nope!" says, judge Epstein pal Trump picks sex pest pedophile as attorney general ... only for him to pull out Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel–Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • College football playoff with twelve schools! (not you, 'Bama) • Josh Allen / Lamar Jackson MVP "debate" • Golden Globe Awards Recent deaths: 2024 • Brian Thompson (United Healthcare CEO) • Democrat party • Diddy's career • The Eras Tour • A CEO who died peacefully and surrounded by his loving family • Greg Gumbel • Jimmy Carter Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Benjamin Netanyahu • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Aaron Rodgers' career More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons: ... that Joe Biden stepped in dog shit? Read More edit Recent articles Why is book? Halloween Ends Stranger Things (rw) G.I. Jane G.I. Jane 2 UnTunes:Santa Baby This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich Fairytale UnTunes:Shoes Uncyclopedia:Business (rw) Halloween Kills UnTunes:Perry the Platypus Elon's Musk UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw) UnTunes:Rio Herodotus (rw) Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Uncyclopedia's sista projects Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia. 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