User:Berogen/Khan Page

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Welcome to Khancyclopedia,

38,564 articles in English

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Today's featured article (new every day)

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Fast & Furious is a series of street racing films produced by powerful idiot-flick conglomerate, Universal Studios, that started during the early twenty-first century and have lasted to the present day. The first film, The Fast and the Furious, was directed by Rob Cohen in 2001, and has since spawned an uncountable number of sequels that have little in common besides the odd recurring character to tie the films together into one franchise. There are currently plans to produce even more sequels in the future. The characters are neither fast nor furious. Fight me. (Full article...)

Did you know...

*... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
  • ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
  • ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?

In the news

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Ongoing: Eurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael-Hamas conflictUnited States presidential election aftermathNBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump Dance" • Bill Belichick going insane
Recent deaths: Brian Thompson (United Healthcare CEO)Democrat partyDiddy's careerThe Eras TourAlabama football's championship bidThe white guy from The Mod Squad
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir PutinBashar al-AssadDiddy's freedomBenjamin NetanyahuJay-Z's career and freedomKate MiddletonAaron Rodgers' career

On this day...

"Get it? Huh, huh? D'ya get it?"

December 12: Unfunny Joke Day (US) Wooly Animal Molestation Day (Wales)

  • 1863 - Pickle loaf first made with dill dough.
  • 1806 - Napoleon keeps his armies up his sleevies - a French word for chocolates.
  • 1862 - Three baby seals walk into a club.
  • 1900 - A minister, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
  • 1901 - Not learning their lesson, the same minister, priest and rabbi walk into a bar, knocking their heads. .
  • 1929 - As a year, was really long and hard. That's what she said.
  • 1933 - Hitler ties his shoes with little Nazis.
  • 1945 - Joshua Ben Cohen discovers that finding half a worm in an apple is actually preferable to being a prisoner in Auschwitz.
  • 1957 - Farmer Frank Peters in Kentuckistan leaves his gate open long enough for one of his chickens to cross the road.
  • 1962 - Larry, a dog from Indiana, loses his nose when it is attacked by some drunk teenagers. Disgusted by his dog's hideous injury and not having enough money to pay a vet, the owner releases the injured dog into a forest on the other side of the state. After a few days of being fly-blown and delirous with pain, the dog begins to smell badly.
  • 1964 - Researchers for the American Horror Book Readers Organization discover that many "Ghost Writers" are employed to write tales that involve ghosts. There is much laughter all round at the irony of this fact.
  • 1965 - A boy takes a ruler with him to bed to see how long he slept. When he awakes, Leonid Breznev, the General secretary of the Soviet Communist Party, hits his stopwatch and informs him that he slept for 9 hours and 35 minutes. He also tells the boy that there are easier ways of finding out these facts and to please not call him again.
  • 1966 - Not learning his lesson, the boy takes a saddle to bed, in case he has nightmares. He is sent to a gulag.
  • 1981 - AIDS is unleashed upon the world by Jesus.
  • 1984 - A baker robs a bank because he needed the dough - which he was able to steal from the lunch room which had its own bread maker, owned by a number of staff members who loved to eat fresh bread at lunch time.
  • 1986 - So this guy comes into a bar, AW CRAP, sorry I said that wrong, it was suppose to be a donkey.....So this guy comes into a Donkey.
  • 1987 - 3 men walk into a bar, one of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole joke plays out with a tedious inevitability
  • 2002 - I hold a bukkake party, but nobody comes.
  • 2003 - A man has the left side of his body amputated. He's alright now.
  • 2004 - A clown is removed from a swing by hitting him in the face with an axe.
  • 2005 - Uncyclopedia is created.
  • 2005 the Third - In Soviet Russia, unfunny jokes don't laugh at YOU.
  • 2012 - The month, year and day are the same number for the last time in the century.

Today's featured picture

Lake Titicaca
Bolivian signpost featuring the latest language symbolism to aid foreign visitors.

Image credit: Mhaille
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Recent Articles


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Captain and Genetically Engineered Superman of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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