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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Rebecca Black is a living Dadaist masterpiece. Jointly authored by the almost hard-working semi-geniuses at ARK Music Factory, and by Black's proud parents who paid $4000 so she could make a video, Black's cultural satire in pop music featuring the innocence and gullibility of a 13-year-old girl has proven an unnatural success. Black now represents the Los Angeles Dadaist movement, which acts in direct competition with its New York counterpart which is highlighted by the Fountain by Marcel Duchamp and the Late Show with David Letterman. Her "popularization by viral video" of the song Friday starting in mid-March, 2011, marks a rebirth of dadaism and a watershed in human culture. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that I hear voices outside my room? (Pictured)

... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'?
... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
... that bestiality just got 15 percent more legal?
... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill?
... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"

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In the news [edit]

The beast himself

YouTuber Mr. Beast really professional fraudster.
Olympic Games begin with Lady Gaga at opening ceremony
Cocaine sharks now in Brazil
Michael Bay working on Skibidi Toilet movie
Joe Biden drops out of the presidential election in social media statement
Houston now controlled by gangs after Hurricane Beryl
Presidential candidate and former president Donald Trump gets shot at rally, rushed offstage
Stephen Root warns character actors of impending doom: "You're not safe either, Malcolm McDowell"
U.S. President Joe Biden falls asleep on-stage during televised debate with Trump
Canadian NHL team once again blows chance to win Stanley Cup. In other news, water is wet.

Ongoing: Russian Invasion • Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election • Olympic Games
Recent deaths: Ruth Westheimer • Richard Simmons • Joe Engel • Shannen Doherty • Lou Dobbs • Bob Newhart
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • Market demand for Tesla cars • Drake's sanity • Noam Chomsky • The Sims 5 • Larry • His brother Darryl • His other brother Darryl

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On this day [edit]

Jülÿ 29: Hëävÿ Mëtäl Ümläüt Däÿ

166 – King Arthur dëcïdës thät chängïng hïs nämë tö "Kïng Ärthür" wïll mäkë hïm söünd härdcörë, thüs märkïng thë fïrst üsë öf thë Hëävÿ Mëtäl Ümläüt.
1776 – Thömäs Jëffërsön, ä nötëd Hëävÿ Mëtäl fän, ädds Hëävÿ Mëtäl Ümläüts tö thë bëgïnnïng tëxt öf thë Dëclärätïön öf Ïndëpëndëncë (pïctürëd) tö mäkë thë Ü.S. sëëm pöwërfül tö Kïng Gëörgë ÏÏÏ.
1949 – Chäïrmän Mäö Zëdöng ännöüncës thät änÿönë ïn Chïnä whö döës nöt wrïtë thëïr Chïnësë wïth ümläüts övër thëïr chäräctërs wïll bë sübjëct tö rë-ëdücätïön.
1961 – Ü.S. Prësïdënt Jöhñ F. Këññëdÿ ëntërs öffïcë wïth tïldës övër hïs n's. Twö ÿëärs lätër, hë ïs ässässïnätëd bÿ Lëë Härvëÿ Öswäld, whö fäïlëd Spänïsh äs ä chïld.
1985 – Thë Cöcä-Cölä Cömpänÿ ïntrödücës Nëw Côkë, ä värïänt öf Cöcä-Cölä wïth ä cïrcümflëx. Thë nëw drïnk fäïls hörrïblÿ änd thë öld Cöcä-Cölä ïs rëïnstätëd.
1998 – Ü.S. Prësïdënt Bïll Clïntøn üsës ä Scändïnävïän "ø" ïn hïs nämë ïnstëäd öf än ümläüt ïn ä lëttër tö Mönïcä Lëwïnskÿ. Thïs rësülts ïn thë Lëwïnskÿ scändäl, whïch älmöst cäüsës Clïntøn's ïmpëächmënt.

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