Chapter Text
Jack remembered the first and only time his dad had told him about “the curse” he claimed plagued their family.
An actual conversation with either of his parents was rare but that night his father dipped into their stash early after a particularly good deal. It should have been Jack celebrating. He had pretty much run the business since he was 16 because his parents were either too high or too clumsy to get shit done. He had never wanted to follow their path but it was made apparent at a young age that dealing was the only thing he could do to keep a roof over his head and food in his mouth. He had been the adult for so long, taking care of his strung-out parents.
That night was no different. His father couldn’t sit for more than a second at their second-hand kitchen table without swaying. Watching him made Jack nauseous.
“It’s our brains,” his father got quiet and leaned across the table so far Jack thought it may tip over.
“We are a cursed kind Jackie boy. Somewhere along the lines one of us angered the Gods and they punished us with brilliance. Brilliant brains. That’s what it is, son – our brains are just too smart. But that’s all a part of the curse. It’s not too long before you see ghosts.”
Jack brushed some of the stray white powder off his homework that migrated across the table with the summer breeze, “seeing ghosts, huh? How Shakespearian.”
He had expected his father to get angry and lay into him like he usually did. He wouldn’t have minded, going one round around the house with his hold man was the only thing that kept him sane sometimes. But he didn’t. He just sat their smiling, the look on his face made Jack’s skin crawl.
“You’ll see them too. My daddy did and now I do. You’ll see them too, just you wait. We angered the Gods, Jack, we all have to pay our dues.”
Not long after that conversation father started wandering the house at night and then he started having outburst during the day, talking to no one. One day his father nearly got them killed freaking out at their main source and pulled a gun on him. Jack barely made it out of there alive. He left home that night and never went back. He found a doctor and he cleaned out a chunk of his parents savings to pay Doctors for tests and pills.
He made a promise to himself to never turn out like his dad. He would always be in control and outsmart the world at every turn. He hadn’t thought about the miserable bastard until he showed up in Ellie’s dorm room two months ago. Back when he said goodbye to Bruce, still had pills, and all the pieces fit together.
Bruce.
Jack wondered where the billionaire was as a fist collided with his jaw.
Jack spit pieces of a broken tooth and blood onto the floor and looked up. Cesar said something to him but he had missed it.
“Can’t hear you when Big Boy over here is tenderizing my face, Cesar. Could you repeat the question?”
Jack heard Cesar call the man off. When the refrigerator of a man finally cleared his view he saw Cesar leaning against a stainless steel countertop through the one eye that wasn’t swollen shut. As soon as the thugs got him into the car he’d braced himself for a fight but they out matched him. They dragged him into Knuckle’s kitchen, tied him to a chair and jammed him up against a stove.
“If I had known that girl you killed with MY drugs was Marcus’ daughter, this would have happened weeks ago.”
Cesar slowly moved from the counter, walking towards Jack with purpose in every step.
“Marcus’ drugs are inferior and so is he, you should know better Jack. Back when I heard I got so disappointed, I thought you were supposed to be so smart. But then I thought about all that shit you pulled with that boy-fuck of yours and I wonder if there isn’t something else. “
Cesar stopped in front of Jack and removed a large knife from a leather sheath on his belt.
“Then I find out your making plans with Marcus, plans to avenge his daughter. To kill me and take what’s mine. Well let me tell you Jack, I’m willing to kill to keep what’s mine.”
Cesar was right actually, Jack had made plans with Marcus. More of a “what if” kind of fallback plan in case the Bruce thing had fell through. Jack paused and let the details of the plan surface in his mind. What day was it? Shit! He had missed a meeting, how could he have forgotten. That must have been when Cesar got the drop on Marcus. How could he have been so sloppy?
Cesar put the knife under Jacks’ chin and pressed until Jack brought his chin up to eye level.
“Are you listening Jack? I figured you out man.”
Fuck him.
“Well - let the beating commence,” Jack spat blood in Cesar’s face.
Cesar grimaced, grabbing a towel off the countertop and wiping his face, saying something vicious in Spanish that didn’t quite translate through Jacks banged-up brain. He closed his eyes and tried to formulate a way out of this mess.
“Didn’t expect you to puss-out like this.”
Jack felt his blood boil as he recognized the voice coming from the shadows on the far side of the kitchen. He opened his eyes to see his father standing behind Cesar. Jack grit his teeth, a set up between the two most unlikely partners.
“Does it make you mad that I figured you out bandejo?”
The purple and red flesh that was Jack’s mouth stretched wide as he started to laugh.
“This is how I got your number.” Cesar was in front of him again, swishing the blade through the air, “you’re fucking crazy. You can’t plan shit because your loco-ass will always fuck it up.”
Cesar brought the handle of the knife down on Jack’s head. The pain vibrated from his skull down his spine and made his toes twitch. Jack’s head fell forward from the force of the blow. He let it stay there, watching the pattern his blood made as it dripped onto the floor. His vision blurred and the red specks together on the cement floor turned to swirls of color. The red mingled with the darkness creeping into his field of vision. Chaos, that beautiful picture, swam in front of his face now.
Was that all it really had been? Scenes from his life followed the slopes of red and faded into black. All of his life he struggled to out maneuver the paths set before him. He watched his first deal, out maneuvering the cop, running from home…the memories seemed so random now. His grand schemes seemed petty, one step to the left or one second too late could have changed everything. He never really controlled everything – it had controlled him. He had been pushed and pulled by the chaos around him but he never had pushed back.
Ice water hit Jack’s face and he hissed in pain. The water rinsed the blood on the floor, leaving only traces of his memories behind.
“Oh Jack. I thought we lost you there.”
“Sorry to disappoint you.”
“Let me recap what you missed,” Cesar tapped the blade of the knife on the counter next to him. “That money Bruce gave me was more than enough to get you out of jail. When I heard what you tried to do…fucking Christ! Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to shit where you eat? You came to this town with a reference and a bag of dope but I let you in, I let you move up, eat in my bar, speak to my family, and that is how you repay me! So I decide I’m not going to give you a pot to piss in. I take the rest of that money and I call in favors. Every fucking person who owes me something.”
Cesar laughed and stood silent for a moment, looking at Jack like he was a puppy who had peed on a new rug.
“I take from you exactly what you tried to take from me. You have no life. Everything you are has been erased. You will never show up in any database anywhere. You can’t even get a fucking library card.”
Cesar laughed harder, banging the knife on the counter behind him.
“Well, now that I’ve gone the way of the unicorn, can I go?”
“You don’t get it do you?” Cesar was in Jack’s face again, “your lack of ID made it so easy to prove to everyone else that you were with the feds. No one will touch you now. Except me, of course.”
Cesar slid the blade along Jack’s chest just hard enough to tare the fabric of his shirt and graze the skin beneath.
Jack didn’t understand. There had to be a hole in Cesar’s plan. Not to mention the fact that killing him would make all of the money and work he put into making him invisible worthless. Cesar was saying he was the crazy one but his plan was just wacky. There had to be another reason for doing this – his dad, perhaps?
Jack looked at his father who leaned casually against a supply shelf with the same attached yet detached expression he wore when he watched football. He was into the game, sure, but he could get up and leave whenever he wanted because the end result didn’t matter.
“So what are you getting out of this dad?”
Cesar stopped laughing and turned to face the man behind him. “Your father?”
“He didn’t tell you? Doesn’t surprise me. This shifty son of a bitch taught me everything I know. I bet he’s got other plans for this little beat-down you don’t even know about.”
“Your father?” Cesar’s laughter came back now, its volume approaching manic levels. “Don’t you try to fuck with me!” He lunged at Jack, sliding the chair into the oven behind it. Pain burned through Jack’s forearm and he could feel the slick warmth of blood trailing down his arm. The blade of Cesar’s knife flicked against his throat.
“Don’t get pissed at me Cesar. Ask him what he’s getting out of this, “Jack looked over Cesar’s shoulder, “so is this your revenge dad? Watch some psycho hack me to pieces?”
“I put a lot of time and effort into you, Jackie boy. Don’t think something that simple would satisfy me.” His father spoke every word with calm certainty and Jack knew the worst was yet to come.
Cesar began screaming at him in Spanish, landing shallow cuts along his arms and legs. Jack thought it looked like Cesar was dancing as he paced, slashed, paced in front of Jack. Cesar pushed him against the oven again and Jack felt the same pain in his arm. His memory flashed an image before him, Cesar beating someone in the kitchen a few months ago. Jack had stood right where his father was, probably wearing the same expression while Cesar’s goons threw the man against the oven. One of the knobs had broken. Jack focused all his strength on extending his finger to graze the jagged metal. They had never replaced it. For the first time since Cesar told him his plan Jack felt some hope. He began discreetly rubbing the tape against the sharp knob. It wasn’t too hard; Cesar had beaten him up pretty bad so shaking didn’t look out of place. He was in a lot of pain but he had to keep it together. There were two guys besides Cesar that had guns. But he had Bruce’s lighter in his back pocket. He’d palmed it from his suitcase when he wasn’t looking. He wanted something tangible to hold until he could get to Bruce again. Now it was looking like it would really come in handy. Maybe if he could get the gas going… an explosion would be risky but if he could get to the picture window on his right he could jump out. One story wasn’t that bad of a fall…
“Look at this fucker, not even listening to me,” Cesar was straddling him again and Jack had to wonder if the fucking asshole wasn’t enjoying it. Cesar plunged the knife into his thigh before he could make a remark about his sexuality.
Jack screamed, the pain was overwhelming and he was struggling to not pass out. He let his most common motivator take over and rage filled his veins. The adrenaline dulled the pain enough so he could look at his dad again.
“I’m going to fucking kill you. I had so many opportunities as a kid and I really regret not taking them. I’m going to get out of this and when I do I am going to cut your heart out.”
Cesar looked behind him, “I’ll be god-dammed. You know what Jack; you’ve got a lot of guts.“ Cesar tapped him on the forehead with the blade of his knife.
Jack didn’t care what Cesar was saying, his hands were almost free. He had already turned the knob and the oven behind him had been filling with gas for the past few minutes.
“Before I see what color those guts are I’m going tell you two things. One, you are not going to make it out of here. Two, your father…”
Cesar paused and looked at the man behind him. Jack was almost free; he just had to wait for an opening. He could get the hell out of here. He would go to Gotham and he would find Bruce. There was nothing left for him here anyways. There never had been. His whole life had been so carefully thought out but the only part that had made any sense was Bruce. Maybe he could give it up. He was pretty sure with Bruce he could do anything.
“…isn’t here.”
Cesar had whispered the words into Jack’s ear so he didn’t know if he had heard him right. The drug lord hopped off his lap and started howling with laughter.
“You are fucking insane Jack. There is no one there, you’re talking to a ghost,” Cesar threw his head back and laughed, his goons joining in.
Through swollen eyes and hair matted with blood Jack looked at his father. The sound of his heartbeat drowned out the laughter that filled the room.
“This is my revenge son. I told you, we all have a pound of flesh to give to the devil." His father’s body started to blur and turn to TV static. All that remained was the sound of his father’s laugh, the same insane high pitch sound he remembered hiding from as a child.
This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.
His heartbeat started to move the colors in his eyes, throbbing shades of red, blue and purple, swirling. He watched pieces of his life that were silhouetted against the ebb and flow of color; him finding his dad in his room, his father helping him dispose of Ellie’s body, his father in Cesar’s kitchen. The blue moved to red and the same images played; him talking to an empty room and getting the gun, him stuffing Ellie inside of a duffle bag, the empty space in Cesar’s kitchen.
A scream that reminded him of his own tore through his subconscious, hurling him back into the sea of laughter in Cesar’s kitchen. He hated laughter, laughter meant no control. No control. No laugh.
“What’s the matter Jack? No smile? You always appreciated a good joke.”
God, he had to keep it together. Get out of here, find a doctor, and start up his meds again. Maybe there was still time.
“Fucking laugh for me Jack!” Cesar stuck the blade in Jack’s mouth and he felt reality return to him in one jagged tear. Jack’s scream sounded like he was underwater as blood gushed out of the open wound on his face. All this and they were still laughing. Cesar dragged the blade through his other cheek, the pain bringing the burning taste of puke up into Jack’s throat.
Jack’s hands were almost free and the smell of gas started to fill his nose, he was surprised the others hadn’t noticed. He let his head fall forward and watched blood and saliva form a puddle on his lap. He looked at the cuts on his legs and arms, the pain crippling him. He couldn’t make it out of here like this. There was no way. His sanity was held in place by sheer willpower and he didn’t know how much longer he could deny the frenzying effect of the pain.
Laughter rang in Jack’s ears and he didn’t know if it was Cesar or if the sounds were from the devil in his head. The sound tore at his senses and Jack knew he had no other choice but to let go. He closed his eyes and tried to will himself to pass out.
Another laugh joined the crowd. This laugh was different from the rest; it filled him with warmth and quickly over powered the other voices. Bruce’s laugh. The billionaire was in bed with him, their limbs intertwined. They were laughing together about something. Water began collecting in the puddle of blood in front of him and he realized he was crying and not because of the pain. The answer to everything had been with him the whole time.
Chaos. It had pushed him but when he finally broke his own rules and let go he found something – someone – he had never expected.
The thing with Bruce had been chaotic. But it was the most beautiful arrangement of random events he had ever had in his life. When he said that Bruce had changed him, he meant it. He would never be the same again. Now Bruce was gone- missing, according to the news.
Jack gritted his teeth and focused his mind back on the present situation. He opened his eyes and looked again at his wounds, the pain was dulled now. Jack’s mind was occupied with more important things. It wasn’t enough to get out of this kitchen. That was short-sighted. Bruce. That God dammed city had swallowed him whole ever since it took his parents. No one understood him, no one cared about him, and no one would fight for him. He and Bruce were two sides to the same coin.
More voices of people not in the kitchen started creeping into Jack’s mind; Ellie, his mother, professors, police officers. He knew there wasn’t much time. He had to be strong, he had to get out of here and find Bruce. He had to keep a piece of who he was inside of the monster he would become.
Jack discreetly pulled his hands free and fished the lighter out of his pocket.
He would make it out of here. He would find Gotham and he would punish that city for taking everything from Bruce. He would show them the beauty of chaos and change that town forever. He would make sure they never forgot again.
I will hate that city as much as I loved Bruce.
Love...that’s what it was, wasn’t it? I loved him. I love him.
The lighter in his hand clicked to life.
Jack smiled.
The End