Chapter Text
CHAPTER XVIII - Let's hear from today's Sponsor: Bad Ideas!
“As I told you, Quentin TaRATino, this sewer system is not the place where I would choose to be, if I could choose at all. Seeing literal crap floating around and the putrid smell of rotten things does not pair well with my skin. My skincare routine receided back 24 years.” I sighed. The little rat swimming in the dark mucky water just existing beside me. “I wanted to be out and about, running around and zapping people with fire magic, not looking for a key to a random door to find random cultists. Maybe smooching some cute guys but I digress.”
No sign of the key, though. Or was there? As the rat splashed his little paws against the murky water, I could faintly see something shimmering in the bottom of the canal. It looked like a depressing version of Venice. Or what I thought a depressing version of Venice looked like.
“Hm,” I held my breath, said a brief prayer and stuck my hand inside the water towards the shimmering thing below. I gave myself a congratulatory tap in the back for remembering to wear elbow length gloves. “Come on…” My fingers brushed against something hard and after a couple of seconds stretching my arm and focusing not to fall inside the cannal, I pulled out a key. “Yes! Thanks, Quentin TaRATino!!”
I was already soaking from under my knees with sewer water, because unlike the first time I was here, this time Baurus took us to secret galeries where we had to walk in the water. I need three years of beauty treatments after that.
“Just…what are you doing?” I heard a voice behind me. I turned around and found a puzzled looking Glathel.
“I found the key!” Proudly, I showed her the grimy little object I had found. We had been looking for the key for a while now. And by ‘we’ I mean myself and Glathel. Baurus just stood guard close to the door we were supposed to enter. Oleg didn’t even come. He just said ‘I’m too old for this and I need to do stuff in my fancy apartment while you get elbow deep in shit’. Ok, he didn’t say that in those words.
Baurus, apparently, knew his way quite well around the sewers (as the last time showed us as well). I couldn’t even begin to ask why the Blades loved skulking around in rat infested places. And not only rats, goblins too! I had to zap some of them, and the ones I couldn’t zap, I just hit with my sword (or better yet, waited for the others to kill the buggers for me).
After the situation with the twink back at Phintias’ shop, we beelined to Oleg’s mansion where Baurus was waiting. After explaining the situation regarding the Sponsor, the Blade suggested we go right away to the sewers where I had met him and Empy. He even said ‘Good work!’ to me, and I felt like I unlocked a new praise kink.
He also mentioned that he knew the sewers well because of all the Blade work that needs doing such as moving things (Uriel) around unseen or undercover work. I wonder if the Mythic Clown had a similar idea or they just casually like to hang out in sewers all day. Who am I to judge? I remember my time in the sewers fondly. Those were the simple days with no court intrigue and no duties.
So basically Baurus led Glathel and I into the rat infested hellhole I remembered from when Empy died. We killed some rats and stuff until we arrived at a locked door, behind which our Sponsor was probably waiting. With no idea how to open it, Glathel and I went to look for the key and Baurus stayed put. That was when I met my new friend Quentin TaRATino. He looked like a film junkie so the name just appeared inside my mind.
“Bye!” I waved the key in Quentin TaRATino’s direction. “Good, now we can continue.”
“Thank you for sticking your hand in the cannal. I didn’t even have to use this.” Glathel produced a fishing rod from behind her and I suddenly felt like the most stupid person in the world.
I smiled defeated, “You could have told me earlier.”
“Dame Kedves! Everything alright over there?”
“Yeah, found the key. Be right there!” I replied, “C’mon kid let’s go.” As much as I said ‘let’s go’ I was kind of scared, specially since Oleg was not around this time.
Baurus’ eyes lit up at the sight of my key. “Took you long enough!”
“Not as easy to find as one may think my dear Blade brother.” I smiled, twirling the key in my fingers. “Now what? We open the door and crush all the Mythic Clowns inside with a big fireball?”
“No, this room is different. It has a table and chair. I always wondered who put it there.”
“So behind this door is just a set of chairs and a table?” Glathel raised an eyebrow. “What for?”
“I have no idea.”
“Doesn’t that strike you as a little odd?” Glathen continued. I just observed. Let her handle stuff for once, since we apparently share the same braincell.
Baurus pondered for a second, “It does sound odd. I never thought to investigate further, our mistake.” Figures. I mean, of course some shady stuff was going on. No doubt there.
“So how can we use this to our advantage, since you know this room and the exits, apparently.” I gave the key to the Blade.
“I happen to know that if you go up the stairs there, you can get a vantage point in the meeting room.” He replied, pointing at a not very concealed ladder I failed to spot earlier. My bad. After the ladder, there was some sort of archway that went above the closed door. “Listen, I think I’d better be the one to handle the meeting.”
“Wait, what?” Glathel blinked, astonished. I was kind of relieved but also kind of not? “Shouldn’t we all...?”
The Blade continued, “Both of you will be my backup. Keep watch from above in case of trouble.”
“Shouldn’t I meet the Sponsor? I mean, not that I’m looking forward to it, don’t get me wrong, but Oleg has been saying I should do stuff. I’ve been mentally preparing for this encounter since we met that guy with the 3rd volume!” I finally said, betraying all my sense of self preservation. Well, I was in this now for reals. Not like the chosen hero could die of a flesh wound, right? I wasn’t about to find out.
“No, it should be me. I have a blood debt to repay these Mythic Dawn assassins.”
“Whatever you wish.”
“Besides, I’ve trained for this kind of thing my whole life. Both of you are just fresh recruits, can’t let you die on my watch.”
“At least let us cover you.” Glathel complemented, her magic starting to crackle in her hands.
“Good, remember, we must not leave here without the book. It’s our best chance of finding the Amulet.” Baurus grabbed Glathel’s shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze. “You stay here and guard the door. Amaya goes up the ladder.”
“I don’t even get to choose-?” I started to complain, but Baurus gently (or as gently as he could anyway) pushed me towards the ladder.
He was gentle but his tone was dead serious, “Listen, I may not survive this, but if I don't, you must. You must recover the book and find the Amulet of Kings.”
I let out a chuckle, truly surprised. Did this guy who is a beast with a sword think he would die to a bunch of clowns in stupid red robes. He was going to survive and witness all the glory I would bring upon the land and shower me with flowers for my effort. “What are you talking about? You think you’re going to die there?” Oh no, I would not like if he died. Shit, I’m catching friendships over here. Nooooo! “You’re not going to die, man, chill.”
“We have no way to predict what is behind this door and how we will be able to get the final book.”
“Why do you even think that?”
“You never know. One must embrace the possibility in times like these.”
I almost started laughing, for real. My dude Baurus thinks he is going to die in this dump. This seems so out of character for anyone here? Thinking he is going to die. He will not. But he seemed kind of preoccupied with this situation, making me worried in return. Does he know something I don’t? Do I even want to know?
Damn it, this goddamn Blade is kind of a friend? Well, it seems so long ago but I remember I told him about my tomfoolery of coming to this purgatory and how I shouldn’t even be kicking around here. I don’t think he even remembers that, but the fact that no one else gave me any shit about that is kind of comforting? Even if he thinks he may die now… I don’t want that. I don’t want him to die. Yay, character growth for me.
But how would I prevent him from probably dying? Not that I am any use in a fight or whatever, I can charm my way sometimes but we all know how shit I am with a sword and magic, it’s indeed a miracle that I’m still here…
So, if offering to effectively help isn’t going to work. Think, Amaya, think. Use your somewhat clever wit for good this time. Not that I would be of any help, but if I tried to motivate him a bit more? Yes, motivate him to not die. Good job! But how…?
Suddenly I had the brightest of ideas, “If I didn’t die until now, you are not either. Besides, you still owe me food.”
“For what, may I ask?” He raised an eyebrow.
“For finding Weynon when I did, and for not failing you back when the Emperor died.”
“I don’t remember promising anything to you.”
“That’s the thing. Remember when I told you my story? How I ended up here?” Let’s not forget I just word vomited into Baurus and told him all the crazy shenanigans I was up and ultimately resulted in my pretty hide in this realm.
“That you died and ended up here mysteriously? Or something like that.”
“That was a wild ride for sure, so in commemoration for me not dying that time when you just swiftly told me to go my merry way to Weynon despite not knowing jack shit about this cursed place, I bestow upon you the promise of buying me food when this whole Oblivion mess is over.” I stretched my hand towards him to seal the deal. I’m the only one allowed to say I’d rather be dead or kill myself, and I’m not allowing anyone else do it. We all gotta see this shit through. “And I, in return, will buy you some if you don’t die. Deal?”
The Blade smiled, and took my hand firmly in a handshake, “Deal.”
I was proud of myself. We can do it! Maybe. But in my head we could! “I’m the only one allowed to joke about dying. So, we do this together, yeah?”
“We'll do it - together.” He patted my back gently. Well, how hard fighting can a bunch of clowns be?
“That was so freaking cute.” I cleaned fake tears from my eyes. It was cute though. Almost like what I did and said to people… mattered? A weird feeling. Not that I’m brave now out of the blue, because I’m very much the coward I was before but I wouldn’t like if Baurus died.
“For what it’s worth, I’m glad to have you and Glathel at my back.” He took a deep breath, “Okay, let's do this.”
With that, I made my way up the ladder and into a stone archway that ran above the room with the chair and table. I could walk around the pathway above and see the lil chair and table below. I was not that high up, just a couple of meters, and used the cover of darkness to shroud myself. Just as I assumed my semi-enclosed position above, I saw Baurus walking and sitting comfortably in the lil chair. He looked so tiny and cutesy in his civilian clothing waiting for the Sponsor to show up.
I wondered if nothing would happen and we could just call it a day. But stuff tends to go sideways most of the time.
Just as I blinked, an ominous voice started talking from below.
“So, you want to become one of the chosen of Mehrunes Dagon?” The Sponsor, apparently, came into my view and sat opposite to Baurus. He looked indistinguishable from any other member of the Mythic Clown I had seen before. His voice was deep and kinda sexy? Ok, Amaya, focus.
“The Path of Dawn is difficult but the rewards are great. I have the book you seek.” After the mambo jumbo he produced a book from his uniform and deposited it on top of the table. I then noticed two other cultists by his side. Shit, there were three of them and three of us. Not liking those odds, “With it and the three other books you will possess the key to enlightenment.” Will he do something or...? “But will you have the wit and strength to use the key you have been given?
“This is for the Emperor, you bastards!” Baurus wasn’t listening to any of that shit and unleashed his sword and kicked the table in the direction of the Sponsor & Friends. So much for surprise attacks. Goddamn. I thought we would get the book and leave? Sucks to be me I guess.
I watched as Baurus wrestled the three guys at the same time. He surely was motivated by the promise of food from my pocket. The clinking of their swords was so loud I thought my brain was going to explore. It might just do that though.
Come on, Amaya. Three versus one is hardly a fair fight. See? He is getting overwhelmed. I told myself, as I watched the fight, trying not to get involved. Come, on…..
Why should I get involved and risk my candy ass when Baurus is dealing so well with the cultists (he wasn’t)? Not that I could be of any use (I could).
The three cultists started to overwhelm the Blade, until one of them wounded his leg, making him fall to the ground. I bit my lip but stiffed myself. He was going to die. I was going to let him die because I was afraid.
“No, no, no, push them back, damn it!” No. No. He owes me now, and I owe him. He is a friend? Maybe. But I needed to do something if I wanted to keep him alive. My motivation bet wasn’t going to cut it.
If you don’t want him to die, you need to help! Inject some bravery juices! Without even thinking and arguing with myself some more, I stood up, unsheathed my sword with one hand and told myself, “Time to do something.”
“Hey! Over here! Come get someone cute at least!” I shouted, gathering the cultist’s attention. They did not have a very good attention span it seemed. Ok, now what? “Suck on the fireball!”
I know I hate myself and have low self esteem but even so I think I’m perfect and the shit, so of course my magic wouldn’t work now where I became fuelled by my desire to help? Protect my friends? That was so cheesy. But true.
Well, in case you were wondering, no, my magic did not work. But my legs and arms sure did. I threw a nearby rock in the direction of the Mythic Clowns and by a miracle I didn’t miss. Hit a guy square in the head and he fell down! Yay me. It helped that I was almost directly above them and just had to drop the thing but ok, not going to soil my victory.
Then, I jumped off the archway I was in into the floor and decided two versus one was kind of pushing my luck a bit, so it was time for backup, “Hey Glathel! A little help?!”
The kid, who for some goddamn reason didn’t intervene until now, kicked the door open with hand already on fire, “Sure!”
The four of us began a dance of death. So poetic! But really it kind of was. Glathel focused on one of the cultists, and the other, you guessed it, came right at ya girl. It was the Sponsor, ironically enough.
I did what I do best, run around from the guy until I could think of something clever. And the clever thing I thought of was: turn around and face my fate, an eternity of shit before my eyes. My idea was to try to make my magic work and burn the table (I didn’t think about the book on top of it at the time, but bear with me) and put myself between the Sponsor and hope for the best.
The thing is, I aimed quickly for the table and…nothing. Of course it would not work. Who was I kidding? Then, I of course panicked, not being able to focus on anything else but the sharp blade that encountered the breach in my armor, right below my armpit.
Goddamn it Amaya, injured again? This is getting old.
I panicked even more after that and as the blood flowed from my pretty little body into my pretty little undertunic into my pretty little armor, I wanted to kill everyone in the room and then myself. Honestly, that’s what I get when I try to help. I make things worse - for myself, most of the time.
It hurt like shit, don’t get me wrong, but I guess adrenaline was pumping and I don’t know how but I extended my hands in front of my face in order to block the next blow and lightning shot from my fingers????
And the Sponsor cooked alive with electricity? He screamed, I screamed, Glathel screamed just as she finished the other cultist off.
By the time I was done screaming and was pretty sure Marty could hear me up in Cloud Ruler Temple, the Sponsor was on the floor, shaking with electricity or whatever just happened.
I stopped the lightning I don’t even know how and tried to collect myself. I breathed in and out like I had just been waterboarded. “What the fuck was that.” I stopped my breath basically. I then touched my wound and felt the red liquid between my fingers which had just fried a man. “Well, this is not ideal.”
I can’t even begin processing what the hell happened. Or I have the best luck in the world, or the worst. No idea.
“Are you alright?” I didn’t notice Glathel come up to me and take my hand from my wound. Baurus stood up and limped towards us too, with a healing potion in hand.
“I’m dying! Glathel, healing crap over here please! I can’t stand this.” I hate this, I hate my life. Why did I help!? Why? To get hurt again? Goddamn it.
“No need to be rude,” The kid smiled and started her healing. It was a pleasant sensation, sure, but, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Marty’s healing was nicer? I don’t know. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. “You did great, Amaya. I didn’t know you knew lightning magic!”
I chuckled, “Neither did I.” Can’t wait to tell Oleg I did it. And Marty. “You were not so bad yourself. I think we are kind of getting the hang of it.”
Baurus was there too, and he no longer limped. He probably took a huge gulp off his healing potion and was fine again. “There’s three more that won’t be reporting back to their master.” He helped himself to look for the book among the corpses. “Thank you for the help. I would be dead if you hadn’t helped.”
Probably, but then again so would I. So I decided to ignore that. By that time, Glathel was already done with my wound and I was as good as new. I’ll be a cracked japanese vase when this is over, with the collection of scars I’m gathering. Maybe I should have taken training seriously, oops.
“We loot the corpses?” Glathel asked, looking around for shiny stuff.
“Sure.” I shrugged. Not like the Sponsor would be sponsoring anyone else at this point. “Where is the book, though?”
Glathel was quicker than both Baurus and I, and beelined to the book on the floor we somehow missed. “Found it, along with some disgusting stuff from the dead guys!” She sounded almost entertained. “It’s even readable!”
I walked up to the girl and indeed that was volume 4 (it was written). “Ok, book, check. Now what?” I turned the book with my clean hand and it was just gibberish again.
“Now that we have all four books, you should be able to handle things from here.” Baurus cleaned his sword.
“ You? ” I asked, “You’re leaving? Why?” If anything, he should suffer with the rest of us.
“I’ll return to Cloud Ruler Temple. My place is at Martin’s side.” As so was mine, I need to get this romance going! People can only take so much slowburn. “You know you are always welcome there.”
I smiled. It was an idea. At least I would be safe there, and I would see Martin again. I decided I would go back when I could.
I just don’t like how everyone can just go back to the temple and leave me to do stuff on my own.
~*~
So, I tried arguing with Baurus for a while, because I also wanted to go back to the Temple and forget I was even in this mess, but heroes can’t retire, unfortunately. Given the fact that we could dispatch the cultists with relative ease (I’m being sarcastic here, mind you) he insisted we would take care of anything on our own.
Well, since that was done, we explored the sewers a bit more and found another copy of the Commentaries 1-3, which Glathel out of all people suggested we bring back to the University, for a fee of course. Can’t argue with that.
Which brings me to the next topic: Oleg. Had to reach him soon with the news. But! I thought maybe we could return to Tar-Meena first and see what she can decipher from these ramblings of a madman. I was even making smart decisions for a change! Well, to be fair, it was kind of a given to return to lizard wizard with the book.
Baurus led us out of the sewer through a hidden entrance into some rando’s house. Why would someone have this secret door I will never know. At least the owner wasn’t home to see three bloodied individuals randomly waltzing through his house.
Glathel and I went lizard wizard while Baurus bade us farewell and good luck. He even reminded me that I owe him food now for our little bet. Going to use this tactic more often.
Well, the Arcane University visit without Oleg went as well as you might expect (especially since it was night already). Glathel baited the guards into thinking she was a lost kid and I had to sneak into the University by jumping through a fence. Not fun. What was also no fun was waking Tar-Meena from her sleep. No, no, she was not in her room thank God, she was sleeping (and drooling) on top of a book in the library thing they had.
She was delighted to be awoken with pretty Volume 4 (plus another copy of 3). She even said she would do everything in her power to decipher the code, but it would take a while, about two weeks in her mind. At least we’ve got an ally in her.
The thing we had to do now was inform Oleg about our success and rest. And that was precisely what Glathel and I were doing at that exact moment. Hopefully we would be able to return to Cloud Ruler Temple and chill while Tar-Meena did her thing.
“I’m hungry.” Glathel evoked my own sentiment.
“I hope Oleg has supper for us. Wouldn’t that be something?” I smiled, as the last flight of stairs to Oleg’s mansion was upon us. “We sure did great. We deserve whatever we want for what we did.”
“I know. We make a good team.” Glathel smiled. She was genuine. And so was I when I reciprocated the sentiment.
“Oleg! We’re back!” I announced, as soon as I set foot on the estate.
A random servant appeared and took a long look at Glathel and I. “Dame Amaya, please, Lord Talin is waiting in his study.”
I sensed some kind of urgency in the servant’s voice, so me and the elf quickly ran to the study, where we found a distraught Oleg running his eyes through a piece of paper. His study was all frozen for some reason? Not everything, but his chair and the corners of his desk. The ice had the form of a hand.
He didn’t even look at us, “We need to go to Cheydinhal. Now.”
I smiled, not understanding, “Don’t you even know if we succeeded?”
“No need.” He replied, “We leave now.”
“But why?” Glathel asked, equally as puzzled as I was.
“My wife sent word that an Oblivion Gate opened close to the city and the Count’s son is missing.” He pointed at the piece of paper he held in his hand. Then, I noticed another sealed letter close by. “One thing has to do with the other, unfortunately.”
“I thought we could go back to Cloud Ruler Temple now.” I tentatively exposed what I wanted to do. Honestly, I wasn’t too keen on going to a random town to close another Gate. “Now that the book situation is over.”
Oleg finally took his eyes off the paper and stared right into mine. I could see the ice in them. And around me. It felt cold all of a sudden. “What? No. We leave for Cheydinhal. I need to protect my wife and you need to close that Gate.”
No, no! I don’t want to do it again! I’m not prepared nor am I suited to that! I know I have good luck but we have limits! “I don’t want to close another Gate! One was enough!”
“Well, too bad.” He stood up and walked to me and Glathel. He was so tall like what the hell, “You do whatever you want then, if you don’t want to go to Cheydinhal.” He eyed us up and down, “But I’m leaving. I need to protect the only family I have left. If you’ll excuse me.” He reached the frame of the door to his study, and left, not before saying, “There is a letter for you on top of the desk.”
A letter? For me? Who from? Oh, of course!