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“Wow, meatbag, looking good. Very tough.”
“Thanks,” you respond, re-adjusting the power armor suit. It was a new model, at least, it was new to you. “It’s a little bit less fashionable than my last set but it's got better firepower built in and can withstand more pressure too. She’s a sturdy gal.”
You notice the glint in the large mech’s optic and steel yourself for… something. You can practically hear the teasing smile in his voice when he speaks. “More pressure, huh?” He nudges you with his foot, not enough to push you over but enough to knock you a little bit off balance. “You mean so we don’t accidentally crush you to death when you get in the way under our pedes?”
You push back and actually manage to throw him off-tilt with the added strength from the suit, definitely more than you had in your last one. Whirl looks surprised for a second and that’s enough for you to make a mental note to leave a five star review on the vendor page. State of the art battle armor: $60,000 ISD. Surprised Whirl: priceless.
“Yeah,” you admit, “I’m hanging out at Swerve’s so much I figure I should get protection against any falling drunks.”
“You wanna test it out?”
Before you can react to the question or the wicked tone of it you're knocked to the floor. Metal crunches against metal as a heavy weight is placed on your back, more than enough to keep you in place as you flail and try to get up.
“Whirl! What the fuck?!” You twist around as far as you can, which isn't far but it's enough to see him looming above you out of the corner of your view screen.
“Well?” He asks, “what's it like, fleshy? Crunchy candy coating still holding up? Should I increase the pressure?”
He leans more of his weight on top of you and you hear your armor creaking. A jolt of fear shoots through your gut as your mind is filled with gory images of being crushed to death. Your heart races in your chest. You want to yell at him to get off, stop messing around and let you up but your tongue is stuck and your throat is dry. Instead your eyes stay glued to the pressure indicator on your HUD as the numbers continue to rise slowly.
Another creak. Whirl is staring down at you with unnerving intensity. The air inside your armor is hot and stuffy, the carapace has warped enough that the padding has begun to press harder against your back. Still, the pressure gauge is in the green. Systems all online, no real damage yet. You wonder how much longer it will take for sensors to burst. You wonder which ones will be the first to fail. Will the metal crack when the armor gives out, snapping into jagged segments? Or will it just continue to bend until slow steady pressure crushes your ribs and collapses your organs?
This is ridiculous. Testing the limits of your armor is a good idea, yes, but it should be done in a controlled environment. You swallow around your tongue, intending to tell Whirl to back the fuck off and let you figure this out in a lab, not the middle of the hallway. He will stop if you yell at him, right? Of course. He’s a jackass but you’re fairly sure he doesn’t want to actually kill you. As soon as you shout that’ll be the end of it.
So, why aren’t you yelling?
“You still alive in there, meat bag?” he asks. The metal creaks rhythmically as he bounces his foot on your back before leaning steadily into you again. “If you aren’t you might wanna ask for your money back, not that it’ll do you much good as a floor stain.”
Your heart is racing but at the same time you feel a little indignant. You're not dead yet, after all. You’re a small, soft, and squishy sack of flesh and bones under intense pressure and you’re still very much alive. What’s more, this giant hunk of metallic jerk off hasn’t even put your suit into emergency mode yet. You can take it, you think to yourself even as basic common sense and self preservation scream at you to stop this nonsense before it’s too late. With blood rushing in your ears and adrenaline pumping through your body you open your mouth to answer.
“Harder.”
The word comes out as a choked whisper, almost a moan, and out of the corner of your view screen you see Whirl flinch in surprise. The pressure gauge wavers as he hesitates for a moment. An entirely new kind of fear races through you. Mortification, really. Your spine is cold as ice, your stomach churns, your face flushes hot. You really hope that didn’t sound like what you’re now pretty damn positive it sounded like or you could never hope to live this down.
“Whirl, what exactly do you think you're doing?” You recognize Ultra Magnus’ voice as the mech turns the corner and sees you. Oh hell.
Whirl steps off of you, slowly. The pressure releases and you scramble to your feet, gasping a little bit. “Me and the meat bag were just testing some limits. Learning a lot, isn't that right, fleshy?”
You struggle to seem nonchalant, a difficult task with adrenaline still coursing through you. “Yeah, checking out what kind of pressure this new suit can handle, that's all.” You steady yourself with a breath and a shaky smile that neither of them can see anyways. “Never even got past the green. I'm gonna take her in to get lab tested of course but I've got a vague idea of the way it functions and how much stress it can take.”
Ultra Magnus does not look convinced. He launches into a lecture about safety precautions and the importance of inter species understanding and consideration of physical and cultural differences. Whirl’s gaze never leaves you. You stare straight ahead, eyes fixed on a dent on the wall, nodding at the appropriate times or what you think are probably the appropriate times. Your HUD notes that your heart rate is slowly returning to normal. You still feel a little nauseous. Whirl continues staring.
“.... so you understand how sensitive the situation is. Were an organic within our charge to somehow end up injured it would put the autobots in a difficult moral dilemma and further call for the examination of-”
“Yeah, alright, we get it,” Whirl groans. “Organics are fragile and don't like getting stepped on.” He tilts his head at you in what you're pretty sure is meant to be a smirk. “Well, most of them don't.”
Oh no. You flinch and turn away. Oh no oh no oh no. Ultra Magnus seems to notice your reaction because he doesn't stop Whirl from dancing away down the hall with a wave and a sing-song goodbye. Or maybe he just knows when to pick his battles.
His voice sounds concerned when he calls your name. You look up, focusing on a point a little to the left of his head so you don't have to make eye contact. “Listen,” he continues, “I understand that being a human in the company of exclusively cybertronians can be difficult. But trying to prove that you are tough enough by engaging in risky behaviors like uncontrolled science experiments or associating with dangerous individuals is not conducive to your wellbeing.” You nod. That sounds like the end of the lecture, but this is Ultra Magnus so you probably still have enough time for the laws of physics to warp until the ground itself swallows you up. “You don't have to prove that you are a worthwhile member of the crew. We already know you have value.”
Your face burns with embarrassment. It's not like this was some ploy to show off your badass armor. This was just Whirl being a jerk and you being… confused? Something. You don't really know what and you don't really want to think about it. All of that's a little too complicated to explain anyways so you just nod again. “Yes, absolutely sir, I have learned my lesson and will never be foolish again.”
He sighs. Maybe that was the wrong answer if you wanted to get out of this conversation faster. “Just be careful. And perhaps avoid…” he pauses, “unnecessary risks.”
You read his meaning loud and clear, though. And you nod to him. “Understood, sir.”
You worry that it's an order (it's really a request, and you aren't anywhere in or along his chain of command but requests from someone as large and intimidating as Ultra Magnus always kind of feel like orders anyways) you won't be able to follow. Whirl knows something is up, you wouldn't be able to avoid him even if you were on opposite ends of the galaxy.
Doesn't mean you won't try your best, though.