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Somewhere Between Wisconsin and Kansas
Sam has been a lot of things in his life; crazy, possessed, sick, dead (does that count as part of your life?), even a car that one time. But the one thing he’s never been is an idiot. He doesn’t know if he’s offended or touched that his brother still thinks he's capable of that.
“So, catch me up one more time,” Donna says from the shotgun seat of the Impala. “Dean's been sleeping with this guy for how long?”
“As far as I can tell, about a month."
And what a friggin' month it's been. He could have ignored the long stares and sighs and bickering - that's normal for the two morons he lives with. But the mysterious disappearances? The blatant lying? It's too much. It hadn’t taken long working with Donna in Wisconsin before the sheriff had noticed Sam’s pent up frustration and pestered him for details.
“Right, wild night in Idaho?
“Iowa.”
“Oh well, that I can understand,” Donna says with a sly smile. “Had to go to munitions training there once and boy can I tell you it was a wild time. Not that I kiss and tell, but there were shots of many varieties involved.”
“I think they did more than shots,” Sam sighs, trying and failing to suppress the memory of going to check on Cas in Iowa and very clearly hearing his brother and Cas having some sort of filthy sex noise competition. He’d been totally prepared for a confession the next morning, even some yelling. But no; Dean had tried to play it off like nothing had happened. Enough that Sam had actually considered that he’d misheard. Then Cas had come in and given Dean one of those looks and Sam had been sure.
“Don’t think I’m ever gonna look at Touched by an Angel the same way again. But you said Castiel has been human for a while?” Donna asks. “And wow, never thought that’s the kind of question I’d be askin’,”
“Yeah, he lost his wings about four months ago,” Sam answers, going a bit tense.
“Banishing a demon.”
“Banishing all the demons,” Sam corrects and Donna looks suitably impressed and confused. “We - well, Cas - found a spell and he just sorta…went for it. It cost him his grace, uh, angel mojo and now he's just...one of us. We have no idea how long it will stick but there hasn’t been a demon topside since he did it.”
“Sounds like I owe the guy a fruit basket.”
Sam smiles, but it’s brittle. The memories of what Cas did, how broken he was for those first weeks and how much it screwed with Dean to watch are still fresh. “Yeah, well, Dean’s been taking care of him. A lot.”
The weeks since Iowa had been sort of torture and sort of hilarious. Dean had been twisting himself in knots for a few days until Cas had, apparently, worn him down in the damn gym. Dean had thought he’d been sneaky cleaning it up, but the lemony fresh scent of sin had been hard to miss.
"Sounds sweet," Donna says.
“It’s getting ridiculous. I found them naked in some dead god’s apartment on Christmas and they still tried to pretend nothing is happening. I'm losing it."
“Gotta tell you, I called that one,” Donna says with a grin. “Oh not the demon-angel-wing-clippy thing or, dead god. The Dean likes to butter his toast on both sides bit.”
“Really?” Sam asks, eyebrows high.
“Oh yeah, a friend of mine claimed he and the cute FBI agent had a moment in the weapons expo back at the Sheriff’s conference,” Donna explains, her accent getting thicker as she grins.
“Yeah, he’s more obvious than he thinks he is.”
“Also Jodes told me that you've been complaining about Dean bein’ in love with some guy for five years.”
“Eight years,” Sam snorts. “But yeah. That’s a thing.”
“The guy is Cas, right?” Sam nods. “Well, that’s good at least. Right?”
“You’d think so,” Sam sighs. “But the sneaking around and the fact my brother has the emotional maturity of a fruit loop has got me thinking that Dean’s doing his usual pretending he has no feelings thing. And Cas…who knows.”
“Men,” Donna grumbles. “Guess it’s worse when there are two of ’em.”
“Hey, I take offence to that,” Sam chuckles. “I’m a man.”
“That why you’re not just talking to Dean about this?”
“Fair point.”
“So you really wanna put the screws to him?” Donna asks, mischief in her eyes. “Isn’t that a bit mean?”
“Listen, Dean’s my brother and I love him. But he’s also my big brother and I have a duty to exploit every opportunity I have to fuck with him.”
“Well, I can’t argue with that,” Donna shrugs. “You really think Dean’ll fall for it? Me putting the moves on him?”
“Well, it’ll make him squirm, that’s for sure.” Sam glances from the road to Donna. “You got a better idea?”
“Oh, you betcha.”
The Bunker
Castiel feels conflicted. It’s not new. Contrary wants and feeling have been a defining aspect of his existence since he pulled Dean out of hell. In recent years, that feeling of conflict has faded, as he became more assured of his convictions and his desires…which also had a great deal to do with Dean. But the conflict he feels as a human is entirely different. He wants to keep reading or talking (or doing other things) with Dean but his body demands sleep. He wants waffles and pancakes for breakfast some days and, apparently, that’s excessive and greedy. He wants to fight and hunt, but he also has a pronounced desire to live that makes him wary. It’s annoying and exhausting and, sometimes, so incredibly petty. Especially today. He wants to see Sam home safe and recognizes that Sam lives in the bunker too, but Castiel also wishes the younger Winchester would stay in Wisconsin for a few weeks.
Castiel watches as Dean paces uneasily in the library, pretending to look for books but obviously preoccupied. Having the bunker to themselves even for a few days had been extremely gratifying, and not just sexually. Being freely affectionate (on several different surfaces which Dean had thoroughly cleaned) and sharing a bed had been…comforting and easy and pleasant. A tension Castiel hadn’t been aware he was holding had abated and he didn’t welcome the thought of its return. To say it had been the best few days of his bbrief mortal existence so far would not be hyperbole. Seeing Dean relaxed also put into stark contrast how ridiculous Dean acts when paranoid.
“Dean, the library is clean,” Castiel sighs, flipping his laptop closed.
“I know that,” Dean scowls.
“Then you should relax. Sam will be here soon.”
“I am relaxed!”
Castiel shakes his head at Dean, supremely unconvinced. “Sam will wonder why you’re sweating.”
“I am not…” Dean stops to lift his arm and sniff, a gesture which should not be endearing. “Shut up.”
“I’d offer oral sex, since you’re generally more subdued after an orgasm and it’s efficient, but I don’t think that would be appropriate given the situation.”
Castiel feels a small sense of accomplishment at the look Dean gives him: slack-jawed and wide-eyed. His goal had been to distract Dean from his panic over Sam’s return with another type of distress, but there’s also a glint in Dean's eyes that’s a sure sign he’s actually considering the offer, which is unexpected but not unwelcome. Castiel raises an eyebrow, pointedly looking at the front of Dean’s jeans to see if any other part of his anatomy is showing interest.
“Not appropriate,” Dean stammers, apparently processing the statement out loud. Castiel can’t quite hold back a pleased smile which Dean meets with a glare. “God, you’re a dick.”
“The offer stands if you’re interested.” Cas glances at the thickening line of Dean’s cock in his jeans. “Don’t you think you should be wearing underwear?”
“Shut up and get over here now.”
This part is easy, it turns out. Of all the complication and woes of being human, this is simple. Pushing Dean against the library wall; ignoring the jostles of a shelf with a sword on it in favor of appreciating how easily Dean complies with a silent command. Kneeling before Dean, freeing his leaking cock, looking up at him before taking it in his mouth and seeing the catch in his breath; easy. He’s learned Dean’s reactions and preferences very well in the last few weeks, learned the exact amount of pressure from his tongue at the slit and around the crown will earn a high whimper of praise from the man. He knows exactly how to do this slowly or very fast. The instant task is about speed, about want and heat and the way Dean wastes no time tangling his hand in Castiel’s hair while he takes him as deep as he can, devouring and greedy and profane. He uses his hands, cursing at Dean’s jeans and the cold scrape of a zipper against his chin. He manages to yank them further down as he bobs his head and sucks, savoring the rasps of Dean’s breath above him. He barely grazes Dean’s hole with one finger, reminding Dean of activities from earlier in the morning, before Dean comes down his throat, hot and bitter.
He pulls off, wiping his mouth and smiling at the look of relaxed satisfaction on Dean’s flushed face. He doesn’t wait for Dean before heading to the dormitories, unzipping his fly as he tries to remember if his toothbrush is in Dean’s room or his own. Luckily, it's in the closer room - Dean's - and he manages to get the bristles moistened and toothpaste on before taking his own hard cock in hand and jacking himself quickly. He’s always amazed at how arousing and pleasurable in its own way getting Dean off is.
“What the hell?” Castiel turns, not pausing in brushing or stimulating himself, to where Dean is standing in the door, jaw once again slack and amazed. “How are you that coordinated? Fuck.”
Castiel shrugs, not wishing to talk with a mouthful of foam and keeps going. Admittedly it’s difficult, but it gets the job done and Dean seems to enjoy the spectacle. Castiel spits into the sink and drops the toothbrush relieved to be able to give his full attention to the task. He leans back grabs the nearest piece of clothing from the bed, keeping eye contact with Dean. The hunter looks mesmerized. The heat of his gaze and the warm friction of his own hand has Castiel coming, easy and satisfying, into the soft cotton.
“Shit, was that my shirt?”
“I’ll wash it,” Castiel shrugs, tossing the shirt into the little hamper in the corner. “That was a good idea. Thank you.”
“It wasn’t my idea!” Dean squawks as Castiel tucks himself back into his pants and zips up.
“I didn’t say it was your idea, I was thanking you for supporting mine.”
Dean opens his mouth to argue just as the distant clank of the front door opening echoes through the bunker. “Motherfucker.”
“Aren't you glad you’re relaxed now?”
Dean turns heel and rushes towards the war room, Castiel following a bit behind at a calmer pace.
“Well, look what the moose dragged in!” Dean says brightly as Sam comes down the stairs, followed by a woman with yellow hair, a blue uniform, and a cheerful expression. Donna Hanscum, obviously. Castiel watches as a true smile warms Dean’s face as Donna reaches the bottom of the stairs and pulls Dean into a hug.
“Well, aren’t you a site for sore eyes!” Donna exclaims, somewhat muffled against Dean.
“Hey, Cas,” Sam says, dropping his duffle at the foot of the stairs and giving Castiel a nod.
Donna pulls back from Dean, eyebrows high and interested. For a second it reminds Castiel so viscerally of the last friend he met this way in the bunker that his stomach drops and his blood goes cold. It passes quickly and Castiel returns to the moment, confronted by the chipper sheriff.
“Why hey there!” Donna says, something almost devious in her smile as she carefully looks Castiel over, eyes appraising and appreciative. “Sam said I was gonna meet an angel but I didn’t think you’d still look like one!”
“Excuse me?” Castiel ask, tilting his head and glancing to Dean for help. The hunter looks just as confused.
“Just sayin’ that these silly boys failed to mention the angel was such a cutie,” Donna explains with a grin and holds out a hand. “Very nice to meet ya.”
“You as well.” Castiel takes Donna’s hand to shake it, his grip careful as he glances down at himself. He’s aware that Dean and others finds him physically attractive but most aren’t quite so blunt about it. “Dean and Sam have told me a great deal about -oof!” Donna pulls him into a crushing hug without warning.
“Ooo! Strong too!” Donna chirps as Castiel looks over her head at the Winchesters. Dean still looks nervous and perplexed but Sam is smiling, which must mean this is in the realm of normal behavior. Donna pulls back, still grinning. “Can’t wait to get to know ya.”
“Um, likewise,” Castiel says with a nod.
“So, who’s gonna show me around the secret hideout?” Donna asks.
“Uh, I’ll show you where to drop your bags then give you the full tour,” Dean offers. “Well, the highlights at least. We’re still finding stuff.”
“Like the gym,” Sam says, giving Castiel a look.
“Yes, some of us didn’t get a tour,” Castiel mutters.
“Yeah, well, you’ve gotten good use out of it since then,” Dean says and Castiel knows it’s meant to be an innuendo. Sam raises an eyebrow but doesn’t remark.
Dean grabs Donna’s bags and heads towards the dormitories. Castiel remains where he’s standing until Donna nudges his hand. “You coming along, hon?” There’s a brightness in Donna’s eyes that Castiel is still confused by.
“Uh, yes…”
“Hope I get a room close to yours,” Donna says quietly, leaning in towards Castiel and too low for Sam or Dean to hear. Castiel feels the odd sensation of his cheeks heating, but not in the pleasant way and doesn’t respond.
The tour is quick but thorough, with Donna offering suitably impressed commentary at each room – especially the dungeon. She manages to keep close to Castiel throughout, which Dean seems to notice, and Castiel at least appreciates that she asks him his opinions on each room and engages him in conversation. She’s cheerful and kind, which Castiel knows are favorable human qualities but her attention is unsettling. She asks him questions he’s never really considered or can’t answer – like favorite place in the bunker (Dean’s room) or fond memories from the dungeon (there are none). Eventually they end up in the kitchen, discussing the Kitsune hunt, which was easy. Luckily the creature was unrelated to the others that the Winchesters had encountered. Castiel notes the way Dean relaxes at that revelation.
“Still, glad you got a bit of down time,” Sam remarks, pulling sodas from the fridge and handing them around.
“Yeah, what did you two crazy bachelors get up to with all that freedom?” Donna asks. “Sam said something about slutty nachos?”
Castiel watches in fascination as Dean only chokes minutely on his soda, covering his cough with a glare. “Come on, Sam, we were just having fun.”
“Yeah, I can see how much fun you had,” Sam says, looking pointedly at Dean’s neck and the fading red marks Castiel left there.
Dean rolls his eyes, following along with the fiction. “I’m an adult.”
“Oooo, looks like someone got enthusiastic,” Donna chuckles. “Hope you checked for fangs.”
“Always,” Dean mutters.
“And how did you do? Bet you were fighting the ladies off with stick!” Donna asks and it takes a moment for Castiel to realize he’s being addressed. He tries to remember if he has any visible marks that require explanation. He’s fairly certain there aren’t any but he looks to Dean for guidance anyway. The hunter gives a minute shake of his head.
“Oh, I…wasn’t successful in any social interactions,” Castiel says.
“So, Dean did ditch you?” Sam asks, incredulous.
“Oh, uh…” Castiel knows he should have a cover for this, but he neither wishes to make Dean look like a villain, but better that than the exposure Dean doesn’t want. Donna, who is again standing very close to Castiel in front of the counter is looking just as curious. “Yes. I found an alternative means to get home.”
“What, did you Lyft to the bunker?” Sam scoffs.
Castiel has no idea what that means but it sounds plausible. “Yes.”
“Well, that’s a little sad,” Donna says, leaning back on the counter to set down her drink. “I love nachos. All kinds.”
Sam huffs out a laugh and shakes his head while Dean squints towards Donna, but says nothing. The moment Dean looks away Castiel jumps at the very distinct feeling of a pinch on his right buttock. He goes rigid, turning slowly to look and the smiling sheriff beside him.
“I didn’t like the black olives…” Castiel murmurs, knitting his brow.
“Oh, yeah, those are the worst,” Donna agrees smoothly, as if nothing happened. “Ha. Never thought I’d have so much in common with an angel!”
Castiel feels like he is expected to respond but he has no idea what to say or do. This is why he wasn’t looking forward to any of this, because being with Dean is easy. When he doesn’t know what to say with Dean, Dean doesn’t care and smiles and makes him feel at ease. This is alien and confounding.
“Yeah, Cas is an interesting guy,” Dean says, his voice tense as he looks between Cas and Donna.
“But, uh, social interactions – that’s somethin’ you’re looking for?” Donna asks, her accent dropping away as she bites her lip in a manner that might be suggestive. “Got some horizons need expandin’?”
Donna inches closer to Castiel and real, panic sets in because this is very obviously a flirtation and not one he wishes to return.
“Hey, uh, Cas can you help me out with, uh, that thing, we were talking about?” Dean asked suddenly, as if reading Castiel mind.
“Yes,” his response is automatic and he hurries out of the kitchen after Dean without even looking back. They retreat to Dean’s room and the click of the door is a relief.
“Are you okay?” Dean asks, placing a hand on Castiel’s shoulder.
“No,” Cas says, sighing. “I’m aware that Donna is your friend but…”
“But what the hell is she doing, right?”
“You noticed it too?” It’s a relief to Castiel to know his alarm isn’t unwarranted.
“Dude, she’s all over you!” Castiel isn’t prepared for the level of offence in Dean’s voice. “Like, really all over you. At least she could have waited for dinner, jeez.”
“She also pinched me,” Castiel confesses. “On my, uh, ass.”
“What?" Dean's face goes stony with indignation. It's almost flattering. "Okay, something is going on.”
Castiel cocks his head. “Meaning?”
“This is too weird to be normal flirting.” Dean lets go of Castiel and starts pacing. “I know Donna, and I thought she was dating some new Doug. This isn’t her.”
“She could just be attracted to me,” Castiel offers, surprisingly annoyed. “You find me attractive.”
“Yeah, well, I’m an idiot sometimes.”
Castiel scowls and Dean sends him an apologetic look. “Do you think she’s under the influence of a spell or creature of some sort?” Cas asks with an annoyed sigh.
“I dunno, that’d be kind of random,” Dean says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “And she’s really focused on you but she’s making sure it’s really obvious. That’s intentional…” Dean’s hand drifts down his neck, grazing the hickey Cas left and Dean goes pale. “Oh fuck.”
“You have an alternative theory?”
“Yeah,” Dean says, shaking his head grimly. “They know. About us.”
Castiel cocks his head, considering. “You think Donna and Sam are conspiring to make us uncomfortable?”
“Fucking with us for fun. Yeah.” Dean seems more dismayed than angry, which is confusing.
“Why would they do that?”
“Because screwing with your brother is tradition, that’s why,” Dean snaps.
“Well, now that we know they know, everything can be out in the open. That’s good, isn’t it?” The prospect of no longer having to deceive Sam is surprisingly inspiring.
Dean turns to Castiel with a murderous look in his eyes. “Oh no, this has just started.”
“Dean…”
“They don’t know that we know that they know. So, we can screw with ‘em right back!” Dean has a maniacal glint in his eye the Castiel is not at all fond of.
“Dean, no.” Castiel knows the warning is going to be useless.
“Come on, all you have to do is flirt back!”
“You’ve told me, repeatedly, that I’m not good at flirting.”
Dean only seems to find that encouraging. “And I still put out! Just…be direct or yourself or whatever.”
“How will flirting with Donna serve to ‘mess with’ Sam?”
“It just will, trust me. Just invite her to hang out alone or something. Easy.” Castiel rolls his eyes but doesn’t argue further. Dean gives him a grin and an encouraging smack on the arm and heads out the door. Castiel follows listlessly back to the kitchen, where Sam and Donna are standing close and smiling when they arrive. The highly suspicious looks they give him and Dean certainly give the impression that they are aware of something.
“Was Cas able to help you out with that...thing of yours?” Donna asks brightly and now that Castiel is paying attention he sees Sam wince.
“Oh yeah, no problem,” Dean replies without hesitation then looks to Castiel. This is apparently his cue.
Instead of acting immediately Castiel finds himself staring at Dean, contemplating whether his affection and desire for sex in the near future is worth this humiliation. Dean gives him the most minute yet pathetic of pleading looks and Castiel sighs.
“Donna would you like to…” Castiel hesitates, trying to come up with something believable. “See the shooting range. We missed it on the tour.”
“You have your own range? Wowza!” Donna asks with genuine interest then schools her features as she moves close to Castiel. “I’d uh, really like to see how you handle a weapon too.” She winks and Castiel fights the urge to glare at Dean.
“I have been getting a great deal of experience with human weapons lately,” he mutters drily and hears Sam trying to hold back a snort of amusement. “Shall we?”
“Oh yeah, let’s get to know each other and let these two gossip about the creepy crawlies,” Donna says and hooks her arm under Castiel’s with a grin. “Lead the way, sweetheart.”
Castiel listens for the sound of laughter or other reaction from the kitchen as he moves down the hall with Donna attached, but human hearing is annoyingly limited. He probably should continue the ruse anyway.
“I’m glad to have time alone with you,” he attempts. He knows it’s not convincing. Luckily they make it to the gun shooting gallery before he can say more.
“Sooo…you spend a lot of time alone here?” Donna asks, eyebrows high and suggestive, though Castiel has no idea of what. “Keeping things well oiled?”
“I don’t masturbate in the weapons locker, if that’s what you’re asking.” Castiel blinks as Donna’s lips purse, holding back laughter. “Though I…find you very attractive…”
At that, the laughter Donna had been holding back explodes and the blonde nearly doubles over, guffawing and grabbing Cas’s arm to steady herself. “Oh boy…” Donna hoots before fresh peals of laughter erupt.
“I phrased that wrong…” Castiel attempts but Donna shakes her head, still chuckling.
“Oh no, hon, you gave it the old college try, really,” Donna says, straightening up and catching her breath, tears of mirth twinkling at the corner of her eyes. “But you can drop the act, hon. I know you're taken.”
“Really?” Castiel knows he should try harder, but Donna is smiling at him kindly now and all he feels is relieved. “It was Dean’s idea,” Castiel confesses, taking a seat on the bench at the back of the gallery.
“I guessed that,” Donna says, sitting down beside Castiel at a respectable distance. “Sam was the one who wanted to mess with you two. Dean mostly.”
“Apparently, it has something to do with being brothers.”
“Or emotionally stunted dingdongs.”
Castiel raises an eyebrow but doesn’t contest the point. “Well, we all could learn to communicate better. Even the…dingdongs.”
“Sorry if I made you feel weird or went too far,” Donna says.
“The pinching was alarming.”
“Yeah, well, you do have a nice back seat there,” Donna replies, but there’s no insinuation in her tone now. Her face is more wistful too. “Dean’s a lucky duck.”
“He’s a frustrating duck,” Castiel mutters, surprised at his own annoyance.
“I get that. You got any idea why he doesn’t want Sam to know about you two?”
“He doesn’t want Sam to ask him about…feelings.” Once again, the sting of admitting that shocks Castiel. It's not that he's ever really been caught up in the human need to process emotions, but it would be nice to at least acknowledge their existence.
“Do you wanna talk about your feelings?” Donna’s face is open and kind as she asks.
“I wouldn’t want to burden you.”
“Eh, we got time. I figure we should hang out in here until the boys start getting antsy, give ‘em a taste of their own medicine.”
“That would be satisfying,” Castiel muses. “Though I’m not sure I would know where to start talking about…any of this.”
“How about you start my tellin’ me how long you’ve been in love with Dean?”
“Oh.”
Sam is really enjoying this, and he knows he should feel bad about that but…he doesn’t. Dean hasn’t said more than two words since Cas and Donna disappeared and Sam can see the paranoia and annoyance slowly overcoming his brother. It’s been kind of fascinating watching Dean mess around with sandwich fixings and progress from a smug swagger to nervous glances to the door to the all out panic he’s in now.
“What the hell are they doing in there?” Dean finally bursts out, tossing a bag of lettuce the counter in frustration.
“What do you mean?” Sam asks indulgently.
“I mean: what are they doing, come on,” Dean snaps. “How interesting is a shooting range to a cop?”
“Well, she obviously found Cas interesting, maybe they’re hitting it off,” Sam needles and watches as a muscle twitches in Dean’s neck.
“Donna isn’t Cas’s type!” Dean says obviously before he can think the better of it. “I mean, maybe she is but…”
“But?” Sam echoes and Dean gives him a glare. “You don’t think they’d make a cute couple?”
“Ew! No. And…No!” The face Dean makes is truly amazing. Sam wonders how his brother thinks he can fool anyone about him and Cas. Then again, people are dumb.
“Well, you may have to get used to it,” Sam shrugs. “And it’s not like Cas has anything or anyone holding him back, right? Weren’t you all about Cas getting a hook up a few weeks ago?” Dean’s face is a fun mix of suspicious and furious. “I mean you were a real good friend about this. Back in Iowa.”
That's it. The killing blow. Dean's eye go wide then he deflates. “God fucking damnit, you’ve known the whole time?” Dean groans in defeat.
“I had my suspicions there, but you two are not as stealthy as you think you are.”
Dean almost looks embarrassed, but mostly dismayed. “Son of a bitch.”
“Dean, come on, this is a good thing…” Dean shoots Sam a look. Sam has to be careful here, because Dean cornered into a feelings talk is a dangerous beast that might spook and bite back. “Now we can talk about it.” Shit, wrong move.
“No, uh uh, nope,” Dean snaps and starts heading for the exit.
Sam jumps up after him. “Dean, wait! What the hell?”
“We are not having a heart to heart on this! That’s why I didn’t want to tell you!” Dean snarls and Sam rolls his eyes.
“Come on, dude, we don’t have to sing kumbaya and cry, I just want you to know I…”
“If you say you you support me or some crap I will punch you in the face right now.”
Sam sighs. At least Dean isn’t trying to leave at the moment, though he still looks murderous. “Okay. No support, I just…”
“I’m not gay,” Dean states out of nowhere and it take Sam a second to catch up.
“Okay…”
“I like chicks.”
“I…know. Kinda hard to miss.” Dean doesn’t look satisfied by that and his hackles are still raised, every muscle tense. “Jesus, Dean, it’s called bisexuality, get over yourself. I’m more focused on that this is happening with Cas.”
“Well, it’s just sex.” The words come like Dean’s tugging them out of tar.
“That’s total crap and you know it,” Sam says, fixing Dean with his best withering look. Dean shrinks and scowls. “You two have been…whatever it is that you are for like, almost a decade. It’s not just sex.”
“Shut up,” Dean says without much conviction.
“So, if Cas and Donna were actually off getting to know each other in the naked way, you’d be what – cool with it?”
Sam is pretty sure he can actually hear Dean’s teeth grinding together as he glares at Sam. “They’re not.”
“Why not?” Sam pushes, standing up an advancing on his idiot brother. “Are you guys exclusive? Have you, god forbid, talked about your-”
“Do not say it –”
“Relationship.”
“Damnit.”
“I’ll take that as a no,” Sam sighs, unsurprised. “Did you have a plan for this? Have you even thought…”
“No! Okay?” Dean bursts out, then catches himself and pulls back the anger, catching his breath. “No we have not talked or thought or anything because I’m pretty sure…Cas doesn’t want that.”
Sam blinks, trying to think back to when Dean got the concussion or other head wound that’s obviously affecting him. “You’re kidding, right?”
Dean looks utterly serious and even a bit confused by Sam’s disbelief. “Cas deserves…better than the bum deal he got pulling that stupid stunt with his grace and the demons. And he sure as hell deserves better than me.”
“Oh my gosh, you really weren’t kidding about the self-worth issues.”
The Winchesters turn to see Donna and Cas standing in the kitchen door. Donna looks pleased and Cas looks weary and annoyed.
“It does pose an obstacle,” Cas says flatly, of course focused on Dean.
“So does the constitutionally incapable of talking about feelings thing,” Sam says and Dean gives him a glare.
“Well, that goes both way, dontcha think?” Donna asks before Dean can grouse and it’s Cas’s turn to look bewildered and offended as Donna turns to him. “Listen, you’re sweet but words aren’t your strong suit.”
“Okay, well, if you two are so keyed in to what we’re feeling, how about you do the talking for us,” Dean snaps, then pales and Donna grins and Sam smiles as well.
“Sounds like a good plan,” Sam says. “I’ll start.”
“Sam…” Dean growls.
“Dean is in love with Cas. Doesn’t think he deserves him, ‘cause he’s an idiot.” Donna’s face lights up as Dean starts pointedly avoiding eye contact with anyone.
“Well, would you believe it? Cas is in love with Dean too!” Donna crows and Cas looks like he might be blushing. “There was some bit about Dean being worth the whole universe to him too. It’s real romantic.”
“Isn’t it though?” Sam agrees, hoping in the back of his mind that Dean is unarmed. “They should make it official or something.”
"They should. I'm pretty sure my new friend Cas would be really into that," Donna says.
“Are you done?” Dean says and Sam throws up his hands in surrender. “Cas, uh…”
“Their statements are accurate…as to me at least,” Cas mutters, cutting Dean off. Sam watches as the two of them finally make eye contact that turns into a long stare. He glances to Donna, who looks captivated by the moment.
“See what I mean?” Sam says as Donna leaves Cas’s side to stand next to Sam.
“Shut up, Sam,” Dean grumbles then swallows as he keeps staring at Cas. “Uh. Me too. About the…stuff. And if you're dumb enough actually wanna make it official with me or something, that’s…cool.”
“That’s acceptable,” Cas nods.
“Awesome. Okay,” Dean says, letting out a relieved sigh and finally turning back to Donna and Sam.
“How many sandwiches did you make?” Cas asks, stepping into the kitchen fully and peering at the counter.
“Four. And yes yours has chips on it, weirdo,” Dean says, moving to hand Cas a plate as Sam blinks in confusion.
“Wait, that’s it?” Sam asks. “You’re boyfriends now or...?”
“Sure, let’s go with that,” Dean shrugs and starts handing out sandwiches.
“But…” Sam sputters.
“Come on, Sam, let's take the win,” Donna says, patting him kindly on the arm. “It's not like they're gonna get busy in the kitchen while we’re standing here.”
Sam huffs and Dean gives a him a smug look at they take seats at the table.
“The tile and counter are extremely uncomfortable any way,” Cas says.
It takes a few seconds for Sam to process why Dean looks shocked and pale and Donna is giggling.
“Oh…Dean!” Sam yelps. “We eat in here!”
Cas wrinkles his nose in confusion then shrugs. “We eat in the library too and-”
“Oh my god, I regret this already,” Sam mutters, shaking his head. He doesn’t miss the fond look Dean gives Cas across the table though.
“Knew there was a reason I liked you,” Dean says to Cas. Same can tell he’s trying to keep the tenderness out of his eyes, but he fails, as usual. And since it’s probably the closest he’s ever going to get to hearing Dean make an actual declaration of love without an apocalypse, Sam will take it.
Castiel feels that he and Dean should be commended for not finding a way to separate themselves from Sam and Donna sooner than they do. They managed several hours of interaction and entertainment before Dean suggested picking up the pizza which is currently getting cold in the front seat of the Impala while he and Castiel make use of the back seat. Or try to.
“Ow.”
“Sorry,” Dean says, wincing as Castiel hits his head against the roof a third time. “Maybe if we…fuck, no my leg does not bend that way.”
“Perhaps if we switched…Ah, Dean that’s my foot!”
“Well it’s trying to get to third base!” Dean huffs as Castiel manages to fall onto him even in the small space. “Fuck, this is worse than the broom closet.”
“It certainly isn’t as arousing as in my imagination,” Castiel sighs, disentangling himself from on top of Dean.
“No, I have made this work before and I can do it again. You said you wanted to get it on in Baby and we are gonna-” Dean stops as both their phones ping at the same time with text alerts. “Crap.”
Castiel fishes Dean’s phone out from his jacket and reads. “Sam says to stop having car sex and come inside, they’re hungry.”
“See, this is why I didn’t want him to know.”
Castiel rolls his eyes and he, very ungracefully, climbs off Dean and out of the back seat. “We can try another time.”
“We will succeed another time,” Dean counters. Castiel smiles to himself as Dean retrieves the pizzas. “At least you get to finally get to fuck the pizza man later.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
Castiel can’t be blamed for eating quickly with a promise like that in the back of his mind, even so, he thinks he manages enough polite conversation to be sufficient before catching Dean’s eyes with a look he knows will communicate his intent. The color rises in Dean’s cheeks and Castiel smile. Donna notices as well.
“You two don’t have to hang out here instead of celebrating on account of me,” Donna says. “I’m beat any way, think I’m gonna turn in.”
“Hey, uh, why don’t you take room twenty-seven instead of the one we dropped your stuff in. It’s got an okay mattress. Clean sheets too.” Dean says casually.
Castiel turns to him in confusion. “Dean, twenty-seven is my room."
“Twenty-seven was your room,” Dean proclaims. “Most of your crap is in mine already anyway.”
“Did you just…make Cas move in with you?” Sam asks, aghast.
“Don’t make this into a thing, Sam,” Dean replies and Sam looks to thunderstruck to argue. “Night, kids. Come on, Cas.”
Looking around Dean’s room when they make it in, Castiel does realize that indeed most of the objects he’s accumulated as a human are already there. And of course the most important thing is there as well, wrapping strong arms around Castiel’s neck and pulling him into a kiss.
It’s a good kiss, long and languid and a much better angle than in the back of the Impala. Castiel likes it…no, loves it. Dean’s face is soft and open when he pulls back, an expression Castiel likes to think only he gets to see.
“Seriously, do we need to talk about anything?” Dean asks sincerely.
“Do you want to?”
“No, but…I will if you need to.”
Castiel smiles. “I think we’re fine. I’m glad I can stay here now.”
“Yeah, me too,” Dean says softly. Castiel has to kiss him, thanks to that tone. The need to taste Dean and touch him is irresistible. They’re pulling off shirts (so many shirts; why) and scrambling at belts before long. Dean chuckles as they tumble onto his bed – their bed – and Castiel finds himself smiling inexplicably as well. Well, perhaps there is an explanation.
“I’m glad I don’t have to leave in the morning, I hated that,” Castiel says as Dean squirms out of his pants underneath him. Castiel grins at the sight of his hard cock and feels his own skin flush to match Dean’s as he frees his own. “I’m happy.”
“I can tell,” Dean jokes, looking between them as their pants hit the floor.
“No, I mean-” Castiel’s voice breaks into a low sigh as Dean take both their cocks in hand, ever distracting. Castiel indulges in the pleasure for a few moments, before pushing Dean’s hands away and pressing their bodies together, cocks trapped between them and Dean forced to look directly into his eyes. “I’m happy. With you. I wanted you to know that.”
“Oh.” Dean’s eyes do a much better job of conveying his feelings – wonder, affection, disbelief – than his words. “You sure? I still can’t see how a mess like me compares to what you gave up.”
“Dean…Losing my grace was hard, but…I hadn’t been an angel, really, for some time,” Castiel confesses, still hesitant to talk about the decision. “Being human was…is a change. But it’s what I wanted.”
“Why?”
Castiel shakes his head in consternation. “Do you really have to ask?” The doubt in Dean’s eyes is answer enough. Castiel sighs. “Because, despite your inability to conceive of your own value, I love you more than any thing or person in creation. I would rather die by your side than live for any fraction of eternity without you. Is that clear?”
“Yeah, uh, crystal,” Dean murmurs, mouth agape but eyes full of light.
“I’m going to fuck you now.”
“Good…yeah….” Castiel has seen Dean at a loss for words many times, and is pleased to be the cause of it at this point. He doesn’t need Dean to talk, not really. He can hear him very clearly in every movement and reaction and gasp.
Perhaps this is why he was never too preoccupied with secrets or Dean’s obsession with avoiding conversations; because he understands. He knows. He feels love in the way Dean opens for him, the way he shudders at the breach of Castiel’s finger into him. He feels the trust, the need. He feels the desire matching his own as he slicks himself and slides inside Dean’s welcoming heat. He sees the same completion in Dean’s face that he feels. The sound of their breath and bodies and cries is joy. The taste of their kiss is home. Love has always been a brighter light than grace. He sees that. And Dean does too.
Sam sighs, dropping an empty duffle to the library table. He could have sworn the noise canceling headphones were somewhere in his things but he can’t find then anywhere. Of course he loses them the one night he would give anything not to hear the noises coming from Dean’s room.
“Wow, they are really having a time,” Sam spins to see Donna, wearing fuzzy donut pajamas, standing in the entry.
“Yeah, my regret for outing them is reaching critical levels,” Sam mutters, shaking his head as another "oh fuck!” echoes from the dormitories. “You wanna watch a movie or something?'
“Hm, maybe,” Donna says, striding slowly towards Sam and looking him up and down. Sam blanches as Donna steps into his space and toys with the collar of his shirt. “Or we could make some noise of our own.”
“Oh…uh…” Sam’s brain short circuits entirely as Donna bites her lower lips and looks up at him through her eyelashes. “I…”
“Look like you’re about to die, oh my stars,” Donna hoots, breaking into laughter and falling back. “Oh man, I had you going!”
“What…” Sam blinks, processing the joke.
“Come on, you know you deserved that,” Donna laughs as Sam learns to breathe again.
“Yeah,” Sam chuckles. “I probably did.”
Donna lets out a breath, still smiling. “I wouldn’t put the moves on ya, I promise." Donna gives Sam a mischievous look, despite the word. "Jodes called dibs anyway.”
“Thanks…wait what?” Sam balks.
“Though maybe we could work out something with all three of us…”
“What?”