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English
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2017-01-31
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what's in a name?

Summary:

Based on the prompt ‘I’m a barista and you’re the obnoxious customer who comes through and orders a venti macchiato while talking on the phone the whole time so I misspell your name in increasingly creative ways every day AU’

Swan Queen Week - Coffee Shop AU

Notes:

I posted this on my tumblr like a year ago as a series of prompts. I figured hey! Swan Queen Week. Coffee Shop. This works.

Work Text:

She comes in one Monday morning after the ten o'clock rush.

Emma only notices at first because the woman is gorgeous, like something straight out of photoshop; with dark hair and full, red lips. And it’s really unfair with the way Emma is left staring like a total creep when she should be cleaning up the counter.

The woman has her phone in hand, talking in low tones and Emma is more than a little distracted by her voice - because god, even her voice is gorgeous - when she’s ushered out of her thoughts by the woman clearing her throat.

Emma blinks.

“I’ll have a triple, venti, soy, two percent foam latte. And make it asap, if you will. I have a meeting to attend in ten minutes,” the woman says, before sighing into her phone, “No, you idiot. I’m not ordering you to fetch me a coffee.”

Emma resists the urge to roll her eyes.

Right. Snobby business woman. Got it.

“Okay, so you want a triple, large -”

Venti.”

Emma clenches her jaw and grits out, “Venti, soy, two percent foam latte. Will that be all?” She doesn’t receive much of a response but a firm nod as the woman continuously mutters into her phone. “That’ll be $4.96. Can I have a name, please?”

“Sidney, I don’t care what you have to do to attain that contract. Lick the man’s boot if you have to, but I will not walk out of that room humiliated. Is that understood?”

Jesus Christ.

“Hello? M'am?” Emma deadpans. “Name, please?”

“Hold on, Sidney,” she says and flicks her eyes to Emma in an annoyed glare. “Regina Mills.”

“Just your first name’s fine.” Considering now Emma has a last name she never asked for.

She passes by Ruby in her haste to make the order, who’s stocking up on ingredients in the back room and laughing at Emma’s shit luck. Luckily there’s another Starbucks five blocks down the road that attracts a larger crowd, leaving this one in all of its empty glory.

Emma works quick. She glances back occasionally to find the woman - Regina, Emma thinks with a scoff - venting to the poor soul on the other line. She almost lets the whole exchange slide as another morning mishap.

Almost.

Finishing the drink, she quickly scribbles over the cup and inwardly snickers when she calls out, “Regina? Triple soy latte.”

The woman is still on her phone when she grabs her drink. She pauses mid-word, however, brow rising upwards as she glances at the name written on the side of the cup.

Ruh jee nuh

Emma waits for the response with baited breath, but Regina simply meets her gaze -

And then turns on her heels.

“I’ll be there shortly after the meeting is done. Do not test me, Sidney.”

The rest of her words are drowned out by the door closing behind her. Emma lets out the breath she’s been holding with a sigh of relief, before swallowing it in a laugh.

Mission complete.


It’s Wednesday when Emma sees her again.

She has on stockings and a white blouse - with one more button undone than would be considered appropriate - that definitely does not make Emma stare a little. Except it does and she’s probably more pissed about that than the fact that this lady is on her phone again.

“Quad Grande, Non fat Caramel Macchiato, please,” she says before returning to her phone call. And, well, at least she said please before totally ignoring Emma’s existence altogether.

“Her again?” Ruby asks as Emma’s preparing the drink. “Want me to make it?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ve got it.”

“Right, and it has nothing to do with the supple amount of boobage that’s got your attention, huh?” Ruby asks, grinning.

Emma blushes and turns her head a little to glance at the subject of their conversation who, strangely enough, is already regarding Emma curiously from across the counter. She turns away as soon as Emma catches her gaze, and Emma returns to her task.

“Nope, nothing at all.”

This time when Emma hands Regina her drink, their fingers brush in the process. And there’s that same eyebrow arch that shows up when brown eyes fixate on the name written across the styrofoam.

Vagina Hills

Regina actually snorts a little. “The papers are on my desk, dear. I’ve already signed them so Ms. Blanchard shouldn’t give you any issues.”

Like Monday, she whirls on her heel, phone in hand, and saunters back to the door. Unlike Monday, though, Emma’s greeted with one last lingering glance before she leaves.

So maybe Emma has it bad.

Regina comes in again the next morning, and the morning after that. Emma figures if she had a dime for every time this woman is on her phone, she wouldn’t be working in a coffee shop in the first place.

Emma hands over the latte - tall, half-caff - when Regina’s gaze falls on the Ratatouille hastily marked on the cup and she smiles.

“My son loves that movie.”

It’s the first time she’s spoken a word to Emma that doesn’t involve spelling out her coffee order or murmuring into her phone. Emma finds she really likes it.

“Well then your son has good taste.” She glances down at the other woman’s hand. You know, just to be sure.

“There’s no husband,” Regina says, amused. “Or wife for that matter. I’m very much single.”

And then she’s back on her phone, leaving Emma bemused and grinning like a fucking moron.


It’s on the twelfth day - not that Emma’s been counting or anything - when Regina comes in empty handed. No phone. And apparently no business meeting to attend to because she’s dressed casual for once.

“Let me guess. Double shot latte?” Emma asks.

Regina shakes her head. “Surprise me.”

It’s late in the afternoon, because Ruby had taken the day off and Emma is stuck working a double. Not that she minds if it means getting to see Regina again.

So she shrugs and sets to work. Thinking of a surprise is nowhere near as difficult as all the insanely complicated orders Regina likes to come up with.

She’s at the verge of writing down some ridiculous name when she stops, and scribbles down her number instead.

“Hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon,” Emma says, handing it over. “For your teeth-rotting pleasure. On the house.”

Regina takes one look at the cup and smiles. “Thank you.”

Emma’s heart drops in disappointment when Regina doesn’t say anything else, but turns and leaves without another glance, much like she had the first day.

She’s jolted out of her thoughts when her phone rings a moment later. Emma picks it up, glancing up in time to see Regina standing on the other side of the glass door.

“It’s a little too sweet for my tastes,” Regina says into her phone, twirling the cup casually in her hand. “But it’ll do.”

Emma can’t contain her grin. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You know, all those times you’ve completely butchered my name,” Regina says. “I never caught yours.”

“Emma.”

“Emma,” Regina echoes in a soft tone, her twinkling eyes never leaving Emma’s when she says, “My name is Regina.”

And Emma just smiles.

“I know.”