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They walked into Maura's house to the sound of voices in the kitchen. Angela Rizzoli's voice was easily recognizable to both Jane and Maura, but only Jane recognized the other voices.
"Who is it, Jane?" Maura asked curiously as they hung up their jackets in the hall closet.
"Carla Talucci, her husband Danny and their daughter Gia," Jane said, keeping her voice low. There was still a chance they could escape and not see them at all if they just backed out now.
"Carla is my mother's best friend since they were both five years old. I don't get their friendship, but Ma pretty much adores her. She emulated Carla her whole life. If you ask me, she is not a kind person. As a matter of fact, Carla is not one of my favorite people."
Jane ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath, agitated before she'd even spoken to Carla and her family. "I'm warning you now, Carla is a walking fashion felony. If you value your sanity- no, if you value my sanity, you will not mention her unfortunate fashion choices, ya hear?"
Maura's eyes widened in wonderment as she peeked around the corner. "Perhaps I could make a few suggestions..."
"No, Maura. No. Just ignore it. I know it's going to be a challenge for you, but I know you're up for it," Jane said sarcastically.
"Maura?" Angela's voice called from in the kitchen before Maura could respond. "Is that you, honey?"
Jane groaned.
"It's me, Angela!" Maura responded brightly. To Jane, she said "I've always wanted to meet Carla Talucci. Your mother speaks of her frequently."
"Yeah, but you notice she doesn't often have many nice things to say?" Jane asked in response. "There's a reason for that."
They turned the corner into the kitchen, and the first thing they could see was the teased, unnaturally red hair that was connected to the rest of a tall, curvy woman seated next to Angela at the island. The bangs across her forehead were in the style that was all the rage - twenty years prior. Capri-length pants begged for mercy at the seams as they clung to robust thighs and calves. A tube top, stretched to its outer limits, was (thankfully) largely covered by an oversized cotton shirt. A wide, Coke-bottle red belt with a garish buckle was cinched around Carla's whole ensemble, paired with matching, dangerously tall heels. Maura blinked twice, knowing that time machines were wholly fictional, but she was fairly sure that Carla Talucci had just walked into her kitchen from the worst part of 1993. Maura hadn't spoken a word to her yet, but already she was eager to send her back to whatever VH1 Pop Up Video episode she'd fallen out of.
Carla looked Maura up and down, scrutinizing Maura's every facet, and it was only years of etiquette training that prevented Maura from squirming uncomfortably under her gaze. It took all of her might not to mention Carla's clothes, or the absurdly large hoop earrings she had in her ears. All Maura wanted to do was talk about the statistics she knew about torn earlobes and the ratio of injuries to hoop size, but Jane cleared her throat very unsubtly behind her, and Maura considered herself warned.
Instead, Maura shifted her gaze to the right and to the short, fat man sitting next to Carla. She marveled at the sheer amount of adipose tissue on a frame so lacking in stature. Maura was reminded of studies she'd read on native colonies of extremely short people in certain parts of historical South America, but got distracted as soon as the soft light of the kitchen reflected off of the man's bald head. The light reflected from his head was broken up by a few strands of hair in a weak attempt at a comb over. The hair itself was as equally reflective as the bare skin underneath it due to the sheer amount of grease present. Maura wondered how much his scalp itched. She shivered at the thought. The cheap suit looked like it had been washed at least slightly more recently than the little bit of remaining hair on the man's head, but Maura realized, as she held back a gag, that the sweat stains around the man's armpits and on the chest of his shirt weren't fresh. A tuft of thick, salt-and-pepper colored chest hair peeked out from the open collar of his dingy shirt.
Maura looked over to Jane, who winked at her. Jane was enjoying watching Maura's reaction, idly wondering if Maura would want to do some sort of an observational study on the very special species of Homo sapiens called "Talucci". She fought back a smirk as she looked at the bar stool Danny was sitting on, checking the floor for stacked phonebooks or a step stool, wondering if Carla or even her own mother had given the man a leg up so he could sit down.
Jane had to look away before she started to laugh out loud. Her gaze fell on Gia. There had been a time when Gia had been her closest friend, and her only confidant. Gia had understood what Angela put Jane through on a daily basis because Gia had been living it too. But Gia had succumbed to her mother's wishes, becoming the feminine, dutiful daughter Carla had always wanted. Jane had remained tomboyish and a free spirit, and eventually Gia found a new set of friends as she'd pursued her life living up to her mother's expectations. Jane had never really forgiven Gia for what she'd done. Not their lost friendship. Jane understood that as people got older, they often grew apart. It was part of growing up, and she didn't hold that against Gia. But she resented Gia for giving in to her mother's demands; leaving the person she was behind to become her mother's ideal daughter, and losing herself in the process. And if she admitted it to herself, she resented Gia for all of the positive attention she got from her mother. Carla rarely nagged Gia, because she felt Gia was perfect. Jane would never receive that same kind of attention from her own mother unless she too gave up her true self and became the person her mother wanted her to be. For Jane, that simply wasn't possible, and Gia's seemingly perfect relationship with her mother made Jane jealous.
"Hey Gia," Jane said, all sincerity absent from her voice. Maura looked over and watched Jane's interaction with Gia unfold.
"Jane," Gia said, her voice equally impassive. Gia stood up against the kitchen counter, wavy black hair matching her father's in color, although hers did not look like it was ready to be rubbed along a squeaky hinge to quiet it. A simple, clean sundress and flats looked almost out of place, given her mother's wacky ensemble, and her father's used-car-salesman of the year look, but when she turned, there was the unmistakable protrusion of a baby bump stretching the fabric.
"Pregnant again, huh? What's this, number three?" Jane asked.
"Four," Carla said proudly. "Can you believe it? Gia's going to have four, and Carlo has three already! I'm so blessed!"
"Jane! Oh, I didn't know you'd be here too! This is terrific!" Angela interrupted happily, eager to get off the topic of grandchildren, a topic that Carla loved to rub in Angela's face. "Maura, this is my best friend from childhood, Carla Talucci. And this is her husband Danny, and their daughter Gia. Jane and Gia were like sisters growing up! And Frankie and Carlo were the same age too."
Maura looked quickly at Jane, who was staring at Gia, who was staring back at Jane. Maura could feel the animosity they felt toward each other. It made the air in the kitchen seem thick and uncomfortable.
"Well," Maura said, reaching out to shake Carla's hand. "I've certainly heard so much about you. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. To meet all of you," Maura continued.
Carla reached out and yanked Maura into a bear hug. "Taluccis hug, honey. Just like Angela does, I'm sure. Am I right?"
Jane could hear Maura grunt in surprise, and then watched in amusement as Danny leaned in to give Maura a wet kiss on her cheek. Jane knew it was taking every ounce of Maura's control to keep herself from wiping her cheek after Danny's kiss. Maura looked horrified at the intrusion into her personal space, but she kept her cool and stepped back, closer to Jane. Jane wrapped her arm around Maura's waist protectively. Later, when Maura would undoubtedly be scrubbing down and sanitizing the chair that Danny had occupied, she would ask Maura if she knew what she was getting into by letting Angela live in the guesthouse.
"Of course!" Angela said happily. "This is Maura Isles. She's like a second daughter to me. She's the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts! How's that for a title? And isn't she beautiful? She's as beautiful as my Janie," Angela said proudly. "Maura, honey, I'm sorry we've taken over your kitchen. There was just more room to sit and talk here than in the guesthouse," Angela said apologetically.
"It's fine, Angela. Can I get you all something to drink? I have a nice red wine I was saving for a special occasion," Maura said gracefully.
"That would be great, yeah," Carla said readily.
"Just water for me," Gia said, rubbing her baby bump.
"So, when are you due, Gia?" Maura asked as Jane continued to watch the conversation unfold in front of her. She couldn't help but notice how quiet Jane was, and how much tension there was between Jane and Gia.
"Three more months," Gia said with a smile. "Joseph's so excited," she added.
"Joseph is her husband," Carla said proudly. "He's a lawyer," she added, her Boston accent making it sound like "loi-yah".
"Oh, that's interesting," Maura replied as she started taking out wine glasses. "What type of law does he practice?" Maura asked politely as she held up a wine glass for Jane, their own silent language for asking if Jane wanted wine or beer. Jane shook her head, opting instead to pull a bottle of her beer out of Maura's fridge.
"Hey Janie, could I get one of those instead?" Danny asked hopefully.
"Sure," Jane said, handing him a beer before taking out a bottle of water and handing it politely to Gia. Gia didn't bother to acknowledge the water as she took it from Jane, pretending instead to be listening to Maura's questions. Jane ignored Gia, and turned toward Maura's wine cabinet to take out the bottle of wine she knew Maura had been referring to.
"Oh, you know, the legal kind," Gia said haughtily, answering Maura's question about her husband's profession as she opened the bottled water.
"Oh, well, I meant, what field does he practice in? Estate? Personal injury? Criminal Law?" Maura pressed.
"The 1997 Brunello or the 1995 Chateauneuf?" Jane asked, interrupting them all. She knew Gia had no idea what Joseph's field was. Gia rarely saw her husband, except, apparently, for when he came home to knock her up. Gia had married Joseph at her mother's urging. Joseph had been foisted upon Gia much the same way Angela tried to foist men upon Jane. The difference was, Gia saw it as her duty to marry a man that her mother approved of, whereas Jane had no intention of getting married. At least, not married to a man her mother picked out for her. She'd told Gia as much just before Gia's wedding, and Gia had never forgiven Jane for speaking her mind like that. Gia had been astonished that Jane would encourage her to marry for love when there was all that money to be had from Joseph. Besides, Gia had explained that night so many years before, Joseph would make a good husband that could support a nice, big, Italian family. Just what Carla wanted for Gia. When Jane asked Gia what she wanted for herself, Gia just asked Jane to leave without answering the question.
Jane knew that Carla saw Gia's marriage to Joseph as a step up for not just Gia, but the entire family. Joseph's legal profession was a big deal to the Talucci family. It didn't matter that Joseph was a corporate attorney that spent most of his time traveling. As long as he provided for Gia, and provided for her well, it made no difference to any of the Taluccis where he spent his time. Jane guessed that Gia loved Joseph in her own way, and she knew that Gia's parents were incredibly proud of her for marrying into such a wealthy family, but Jane never wanted a life like that.
Jane had her back toward the guests as she fished in Maura's wine cabinet. Maura had been impressed with Jane's pronunciation of both wines and Jane's knowledge of her wine inventory, whereas Carla couldn't help but notice that Jane knew her way around Maura's kitchen rather well.
"The Chateauneuf," Maura said from across the kitchen. "I think it's a much bolder vintage."
Jane walked over and handed the bottle to Maura, then opened the drawer next to the refrigerator for the corkscrew.
"Do you want me to open it?" Jane asked Maura quietly.
"That's okay, I've got it," Maura said as she took the corkscrew from Jane and expertly pulled out the cork. She poured a small amount into the first glass and gave it to Angela to try. The gesture wasn't lost on Carla.
"Oh honey, that's wonderful. Did you say it was from 1995?" Angela asked.
Maura took the glass back from Angela and filled it for her, then started filling the rest of the glasses for everyone else as she answered. "Yes, it's a rare vintage from the Rhone region of France. This is a much sought-after wine. I picked some up the last time I was in France visiting my parents. The 1995 vintage was one of their best ones, after the 1989 vintage, of course."
Carla and Danny both seemed impressed by this.
"That was a good year," Angela reminisced. "That was the year before Jane finished her degree and started the police academy."
"You mean junior college, right?" Gia sniped. "I don't recall Jane getting a bachelor's degree."
"I didn't. I didn't need one. The academy taught me everything I needed to know to do my job, and to do it well," Jane answered quietly. Maura knew that tone. She knew Jane was simmering under the surface, just waiting to boil over.
Gia just waddled around the island to take one of the few remaining seats, ignoring Jane's response. Gia may have gotten a bachelor's degree, but she'd never used it. Jane didn't know if Gia ever worked a day in her life, outside of the home, anyway.
"Ma, my back is killing me," Gia complained. Jane knew that translated into "I'm bored, can we leave?", but Maura didn't understand that.
"It's not unusual to experience lower back pain at your stage of pregnancy," Maura said cheerfully. "I have an exercise ball you can use to stretch, if you like. It's up on the third floor, in the yoga room." Maura pointed toward the stairs and Jane grinned. First France, now a yoga room. Gia may have married into money, but not money like Maura Isles had. Maura never felt the need to flaunt her wealth, but the Taluccis could sniff it out better than a bloodhound. Jane could see Carla eyeing Maura while Gia gave Maura a confused glance without answering. Did she really think she'd go use an exercise ball?
After a sip of wine, Angela piped up. "Maura, I wish you could have seen it. Jane and Gia were inseparable as kids. And Frankie and Carlo used to get into so much trouble together!"
"It must have been nice, to have such wonderful friends to grow up with," Maura said, wistfully.
"Yeah, Angela, you remember that time Frankie jumped off the swings in your backyard and landed, stugots first, right on that rake that Tommy left lying around? What'd he need, fifty stitches?"
"Yeah," Angela said uncomfortably.
"Is that why he doesn't have any kids? You know, because he busted one of his stugots?" Carla asked, her voice dripping with mock innocence as she made a rather crude gesture in front of her crotch.
"No, the doctors said he would be fine with just one testicle," Angela responded, her face crimson.
"Frankie only has one testicle?" Maura whispered to Jane.
"We don't talk about that," Jane hissed back.
"So why doesn't he have any kids?" Carla asked.
"He's not married," Angela replied, shrugging. "But Tommy has a son, TJ. He's adorable."
"Angela, Tommy got married and you didn't invite me to the wedding? I know we don't see each other much, but I thought we'd be invited!" Carla sounded like she was about to cry.
"No, he's not married," Angela said, still blushing. "But he's a wonderful daddy," she added.
"I'm sure he is. What's he doing now, anyway?" Danny asked. Danny didn't seem to be as intent on making Angela flustered as Carla was. He was simply interested in hearing about the kids that had grown up as much in his own house as in their own parents' house.
"He paints houses," Angela answered.
"And he walks dogs," Maura added helpfully. Jane jabbed her with her elbow.
"Ow, Jane," Maura whined, not understanding why Jane had elbowed her.
"So, Maura, are you married?" Carla asked, distracting Maura from her indignation.
"No, I'm not," Maura said, completely unaware of where this conversation was about to go.
"Seeing anyone?" Carla asked.
"Not at the moment, no," Maura answered, growing wary of Carla's questions. The last thing she wanted that nosy woman to know was that her most recent romantic encounter had been with a serial killer.
"What about you, Jane?" Carla asked, causing Maura to look to Jane in confusion.
"You know I'm not married, Carla. Ma likes to say I'm married to my job." Jane's tone was neutral, but Maura understood the defense mechanism in Jane gearing up, even if Carla didn't.
"Jane's the most decorated detective on the force," Maura offered. "She was also the youngest female officer to ever attain the rank of detective in the history of the Boston Police department. Her case closure rate is unprecedented."
There was no mistaking how proud Maura sounded of Jane. Both Angela and Jane shot Maura appreciative looks. Carla didn't miss it.
"How about some cheese, Maura? Would you mind if I cut up some cheese to go with the wine?" Jane asked, eager to change the subject.
"That's okay, honey. I don't want any. Does anybody else?" Carla asked.
Everyone else shook their heads no.
"We're supposed to go out to dinner soon anyway," Carla added before continuing her interrogation. "So, are you seeing anybody, Janie?"
"I recently broke up with Casey," Jane said quietly.
"Casey from high school, Casey?" Gia asked.
"Yes, that Casey," Jane acknowledged.
"Again?" Gia asked, not caring how nasty she sounded. "Didn't you learn the first two times that it was never going to work out?"
"Well, the first time we broke up, it was because he was going off to college. And the second time we broke up it was because he was going back to Afghanistan and he didn't want to start a relationship. More recently we broke up because I realized he was a pig," Jane said quietly.
"How recently?" Carla asked.
"About six months ago," Jane responded.
"Were you together long?" Danny asked, finally opening his mouth to join the conversation.
"Not really, no." Jane was getting uncomfortable, and Maura could see it.
"Aw, Janie, I'm sure your Ma has a whole lineup of nice men for you to date, dontcha Ange?" Carla asked, turning toward Angela.
Jane answered instead. "I'm sure she does, Carla, but I'm not interested in them. I have no problem finding my own dates."
"Yeah, like Casey," Gia snickered. "What's the matter, Jane? You can't learn from your mistakes? You gonna date him a fourth time?"
"Jane was right to break things off with Casey. I didn't like the way he treated her. She deserves someone much better than him," Maura said, jumping to Jane's defense. "I'm sure she realizes that now."
"Someone like you?" Carla said, smiling smugly, thrilled that Maura had fallen right into her trap.
"Excuse me?" Jane and Maura asked simultaneously, and it just caused Carla's face to take on an even smugger expression.
"You mean to tell me you two aren't together?"
"No, Carla, they're best friends," Angela explained. "You know, like you and me. They're real close."
"Really Angela? How were we ever like these two? Are you that blind?" Carla asked, forgetting that they weren't alone in the room. "Your daughter walks in here like she owns the place, puts her arm around Maura, knows her way around Maura's kitchen like it's her own, has her own brand of beer in the fridge. And Maura here is just so proud of her Janie. She looks out for her, coming to her defense, brags about her, and watches her every move. Oh, and then there's the fact that she lets you live in her guesthouse! For free! So let me ask you two again," Carla said, turning back toward Jane and Maura. "Are you two together?"
"No Carla, we're not," Jane growled.
"But you wish you were, dontcha, Janie?" Gia said, honing in on Jane. Gia had always been jealous of Jane's freedom, and her ability to shrug off her mother's constant overbearing intrusions into her life. Gia had never been that lucky. "That's why it never works out with Casey. Or any other guy. It's because you don't wanna be with a guy. Just look at you. But you do wish you were with the doctor over here, don't you?"
"That's a very pointed question," Maura said quickly. "I don't see how any of this is anybody's business. Jane is a successful detective. I am a successful medical examiner. We both lead happy, fulfilling lives. Who Jane dates is none of anybody's business," Maura lectured.
"You can't lie," Carla said. "Isn't that right? Angela said that you're the one that's like, physically incapable of lying. You have sneezing fits or something, don't you?"
"I get hives. Sometimes I faint," Maura said weakly, glancing at a very embarrassed Angela Rizzoli.
"So tell me then. Why are you so quick to come to Jane's defense? Why are you so quick to say that Casey didn't treat Jane right?" Is it because you think you can treat Jane better?"
"Back off," Jane hissed, coming to stand between Maura and Carla. "Ma, I think it's time for you to take your friends back over to the guesthouse," she added, her tone a clear warning that wasn't missed by Angela.
"That's, that's probably a good idea," Angela stammered, trying to make peace between her daughter and her best friend's family. "Why don't we freshen up and then go over to Rocco's Ristorante for an early dinner?"
"Only if Jane and Maura join us," Carla said sweetly. "There's so much I want to know. It's been so long since we've seen our little Janie and we've barely gotten to know Maura."
"No thanks," Jane and Maura said simultaneously.
"Oh, it's just so cute how they do that!" Carla said after she swallowed what was left in her wine glass. "Tell me, Maura, where can I get some of this wine here in the States? It's delicious. Do they have it over at the Wine Warehouse on Boylston?"
"I'm afraid not. I'm afraid that at $900 a bottle, this wine only comes directly from France. I'll see if I can pick you up some the next time I visit my parents," Maura said tersely, ever polite.
"Will Jane be joining you on your next trip to France? Has she met your parents yet? What do they think of her?"
"Jane has met my parents. Both my biological parents and my adoptive mother. She has yet to meet my adoptive father, though I'm sure he would like her, as much as my adoptive mother likes her. Whether or not Jane accompanies me to France when I go back is up to her. And frankly, it's none of your business."
"Oh Jane, she's polite and spunky!" Carla effused. "She's quite the catch, Angela. I always knew your Jane would end up with a woman."
Jane cringed, but ducked her face in time so that only Maura caught it.
"Excuse me?" Angela growled. "Carla, I don't know who you think you are, coming into Maura's house and speaking to her and Jane like this. We're friends, but Maura is family. I'd be proud to call her my daughter, or my daughter-in-law if it ever came down to that. But that's not how things are. And you've made both Maura and Jane very uncomfortable. It's always been some kind of a contest between you and me when it came to our kids. I'm done though. My kids are all happy, leading their own lives. If that means you win, because your daughter got married or is having another baby before my daughter does, then so be it. As long as Janie is happy, I'm happy too. Now, I think it would be best if we left for the restaurant."
"Actually," Carla said, looking at her husband and daughter, "I think it would be best if we just headed out. I don't particularly like Rocco's anymore. They're a little too gauche for me, honestly."
"You don't even know what gauche means," Jane snapped. "You know what's gauche? That outfit. Hello? The 1990s called, they want their clothes back. And their hair."
"And those earrings!" Maura tossed in, flashing Jane a proud smile.
Jane couldn't help giving her an endearing smile back.
"Really, you two. You haven't gotten married already?" Gia sneered, watching the interaction between the two women. "You tag team as well as Joseph and I do when it comes to dealing with our kids."
"No, but when we do, we'll be sure not to invite any of you," Jane said, sneering back, not even caring that she just admitted out loud that she would marry Maura. "Ma, when are you ever gonna learn? Every one of the Taluccis' visits ends like this. I don't understand why you're even friends with these people."
"Jane, Carla and I go way back. But you're right. They should be on their way. Would you like me to see you out?" Angela asked them, bright red with embarrassment.
Gia got up and waddled toward the door, followed by a very penguin-like Danny in his cheap black suit and white shirt. Jane had to stop herself from laughing at the similarity between their guts as they made their way out. They were trying to make an exit, but their ridiculous gaits made a mockery out of it without Jane having to open her mouth. Carla gave Jane a scathing look as she followed her husband and daughter out of the house. She stopped at the door and called over her shoulder to Angela. "I'll call you, Ange."
Jane made sure to slam the door hard, just missing Carla's well-padded ass as it crossed the threshold.
Angela turned contritely to Maura. "Maura, I'm sorry. I hope you can excuse me, and the intrusion on your afternoon. I didn't expect any of that."
"It's, it's fine, Angela. Everything is fine," Maura said sweetly, even though everything wasn't fine.
What had happened, exactly? Had Angela just given Maura her blessing to date Jane? Had Jane just said they would marry someday? Maura couldn't help the flutter of hope that she felt as she looked over at Jane, who was staring at the front door, scowling deeply in thought.
Angela watched Jane too. "Janie, look, I'm really sorry. You know how Carla and I have always competed when it came to you and Gia. But I never, ever expected that. I meant what I said. As long as you're happy, I'm happy, okay? I'm sorry she treated you that way. Both of you."
Jane just nodded.
"Are you okay, Jane?" Maura asked, concerned.
"Yeah. I think... I think I need to go for a walk," Jane said quietly.
"Do you want me to go with you?" Maura asked.
"Nah, I just need a few minutes, all right?"
"Okay," Maura said, unconvinced.
Jane grabbed her jacket out of the hall closet and left.
"I should go after her," Maura said to Angela after Jane left.
"Give her some time, honey. She just needs some time," Angela responded gently.
"Time for what, exactly?" Maura asked.
"Time to gather her thoughts about you, sweetheart."
Maura shook her head, clearly not understanding.
"Come, sit with me," Angela said quietly.
They walked over to the couch and Maura sat next to Angela, who squeezed her knee. "She loves you, you know."
"Jane? Of course she does. She's my best friend," Maura said, as if this was the most obvious explanation in the world.
"She loves you more than that, and I think she's been struggling with that for a long time, Maura."
"More than... But Jane was with Casey up until six months ago," Maura said, her confusion growing.
"She was with Casey the way Gia is with her Joseph. Because on the surface, they make good husbands, and Jane wanted to please me the way Gia tries to please Carla. It didn't work out with Casey because, it turns out, Casey is an asshole," Angela stopped suddenly, looking at Maura. "Oh, sorry Maura, but it's true. Anyway, I knew she wasn't going to be happy with him, but not just because of his selfishness or because it was their third try at making things work. She's just never going to love anybody as much as she loves you. Jane just doesn't know how to admit that, to herself or to you."
"Why wouldn't she want to admit it?" Maura asked.
"Because all of her life, Jane's been called a tomboy, butch, a lesbian... you name it. And all of her life, until she met you, at least, she really wasn't. She was just a tough girl who grew up with two younger brothers and a thirst for adventure and justice. Gia's remarks today really cut her to the bone, even if Jane would never show it," Angela said, sighing.
"But after she met you, Jane had to examine all these new feelings she had. It was obvious to me that she loved you from the moment she met you. She didn't know it, but she was captivated by you, and she would talk about you all the time, to anyone who would listen. She told people about how she was nasty to you at first in the café and felt terrible about it, because you were so kind to her. Then she'd tell me all about the weeks she spent trying to win over your friendship afterward. And once you gave in and started a friendship with her, she was elated. She really couldn't believe it, Maura. She never thought she could have a friend like you. And the two of you got so close, so fast. She was never as close to Gia as she is to you. But she's afraid, Maura. She's afraid of what loving you makes her, and more than that, she's afraid of losing you. She doesn't understand that the reason it's never worked out with anyone else for her is because none of the other people she was with were you."
Maura shook her head in disbelief. "Has she spoken about this with you?"
"No, of course not. You're the only one who can get her to talk about her feelings, Maura. You know that," Angela said with a wistful smile.
"Then how do you know..." Maura trailed off.
"I just know, Maura. Trust me on this one. I just know."
"Did you mean what you said? That you'd be okay with the two of us getting together?" Maura asked hesitantly.
"I did," Angela said reassuringly. "I also meant what I said that I consider you a daughter, whether it's as Jane's friend or as a daughter-in-law. I love you very much, Maura. You bring my Janie so much happiness, and you're so good to me, too. But if you can't, or won't, love Janie the way I know she loves you, all I ask is that you let her down gently."
"I love her too," Maura blurted out. "I have for a long time, and I never told her because I thought she wouldn't even consider me as anything more than a friend. She's always been so... so rigid with her sexuality. And it's not like I'm much better. Although I've never ruled out a same sex relationship, I've never actually pursued one. But I would love to, to, well, to love her... as more than a friend. I care about her a great deal and most of the time she makes me feel like I've taken some sort of a substance. An illegal substance," Maura rambled, blushing.
Angela beamed at her. "Then maybe you should let her know. I'm sure she's out there right now either trying to figure out a way to tell you, or trying to find a way to bury her feelings again. My gut tells me she's going the burying route. She's nothing if not consistent, my Jane."
Maura gave Angela a weak smile. "Are you really sure she feels that way, Angela? Because I don't want to lose her either."
"You won't."
The front door opened and Jane stuck her head in. Maura smiled at her, and Angela got up to leave. "You won't," she repeated quietly to Maura.
Maura watched Angela walk out, and then turned her attention to Jane, who was now standing in front of the dining room table.
"I need some wine," Maura said suddenly, standing up. "Won't you try some? It would be terrible to waste such an exquisite vintage."
Maura could tell she was coming off as nervous. And she could tell that Jane could see it too.
"Sure, I'll have a glass," Jane said, leaving her jacket on the back of a dining room chair and sitting down on the couch.
Maura came back with two glasses, both a little fuller than she normally served them.
"What did she say to you, while I was gone?" Jane asked, noticing how full the wine glasses were, and how Maura took a long, slow sip of hers before putting together an answer.
"She helped me come to a conclusion," Maura said evasively. "She helped me to come to terms with something I've been struggling with for a while. She's good at that, you know."
"You were having a problem, and you couldn't come to me with it?" Jane asked, clearly hurt by the idea.
Maura smiled at Jane and then took another sip of the wine, letting it warm her from the inside. She needed to be calm when she did this, and the wine was definitely helping.
"What do you think of the wine?" Maura asked.
"You're evading my question," Jane replied.
"Humor me. Taste it and tell me what you think."
Jane lifted the glass to her lips and took a sip.
"Tell me about it, what do you think of it?"
"Well," Jane said, not sure of where this was going. "It's warm, with sweet undertones."
"Yes, and?" Maura prodded.
"And it's rich, both in taste and in price," Jane said.
"Ah, yes." Maura said. "Anything else?"
"I'm not really sure, Maur. I've never been good at things like this. It tastes good. I like it. But I can't really describe it well. I'm sure you could do much better."
"I think you described it perfectly," Maura said. "And I'm not talking about the wine."
"What?" Jane asked.
"You asked me if I was having a problem, and I couldn't come to you with it. And you're right, I did evade the question, but you also just answered it. Or rather, I think you answered the question for us both," Maura said gently.
Jane just gave her a confused look.
"Jane, I think you took a walk just now so you could gather your thoughts. And I think, and I'm going to admit that I'm guessing here, but I think you're having a lot of the same thoughts I've been having. For a long time. I think that Carla noticed something about us today that neither of us has been willing to admit, for a lot of reasons."
"I still don't understand, Maura."
"You do, but you don't want to admit it. That's okay. I'll admit it first." Maura took another long sip of her wine, then leaned forward and put the glass on the table. She was enjoying the wine, but she wanted to be sober for this. She'd had enough of it to steady her nerves. Anything more and she was afraid Jane would think she needed to be drunk for what she was about to say.
"I asked you about the wine because I was buying time for myself. But your answer about the wine told me about as much as I needed to hear. Carla pointed out to us today that we'd make a lovely couple. And I agree with her. I think we would. I've thought that for a long time. Actually, I haven't just thought that, I've wanted it. I've wanted you, Jane. For a long, long time. But I was afraid to admit it. Because like the wine, you're warm with sweet undertones. But you're a rare find, just like this bottle of wine. So rare, in fact, that I don't want to lose you. Or share you, for that matter. I don't want to share you with another Casey or another Dean. I want you all to myself. But I was terrified of telling you, because I was afraid you'd reject me, and I can't handle losing you."
Jane shook her head, trying to find the right words to respond. Maura put her hand on Jane's forearm, silencing her before she could say anything.
"I think, based on evidence, that you feel the same way about me too. But you've been too afraid to tell me. And then Carla and her family came in here today and they knocked the top off of this dance that we do with each other."
"I think the phrase you're looking for is 'blew the lid off of'," Jane said with a grin.
"Regardless, she forced our relationship to the surface. She was rude about it, but she pointed out what should really be blatantly obvious to us both. And I think it is. Obvious, I mean. But we both have reservations about it. Do you agree?"
"I'm not sure where you're going with this," Jane said softly.
"You said the wine was rich, both in taste and in price. And I think that you feel that way about me. You think you're not good enough for me. Or that I wouldn't want to be with you. But there are moments when I can feel it, Jane. I can feel just how badly you want it. And I know that you can feel it with me too. Do you? Do you feel it?"
"I, I feel confused," Jane said.
"Confused about where I'm going with this, or confused about how you feel about me?" Maura asked.
"Confused about how I feel about you," Jane said.
"Tell me how you feel. I promise you, no matter what you tell me, nothing will change between us," Maura said, reaching for Jane's hand.
"I can't," Jane said, already closing up.
"Don't, Jane. Please don't close up on me. Please. What if I tell you first?"
"I don't know," Jane said. She looked like she was on the verge of tears.
"Well, I want to tell you, so I'm going to. I love you, Jane. I'm in love with you. I have been for a while. But I've been afraid to tell you, because I've been afraid you can't or simply don't feel the same way about me. But today, something led me to believe that you might feel the same way," Maura said softly. "Do you?"
Jane shook her head.
"You don't?" Maura asked, her heart beginning to break.
"No, I do. I do love you. I just... this sounds so ridiculous. But I'm not gay!"
"Has that been what's been stopping you this whole time? A label?" Maura asked.
"I'm really not gay, Maura."
"Did it ever occur to you that sexuality, female sexuality in particular, is very fluid? Did you know it's possible for you to primarily be attracted to men, but fall in love with a woman? And that if it didn't, for whatever reason, work out with us, that you could always just go back to dating men?"
"It has to work out with us," Jane said suddenly.
Maura waited for Jane to elaborate, but she seemed stuck.
"That wasn't quite the response I was anticipating," Maura said, squeezing Jane's hand.
Jane looked down at their linked hands and then up into Maura's eyes. "It has to work out with us because I'm convinced that there's no one else out there that will ever make me as happy or feel as complete as you do, Maura. So it has to work out with us."
"But?" Maura said, sensing Jane wasn't done.
Jane looked back down at her hands, one of them firmly held by Maura. Maura watched the hand of Jane's that she wasn't holding shake slightly before Jane balled it up. "But I don't know how to do this. I'm not just talking about this whole 'being with a woman' thing, which, yes, scares the daylights out of me. I'm also talking about not screwing this up, so I don't lose you. I can't lose you, Maura."
"You won't."
"It can't be that simple," Jane argued. "You've seen how my relationships end up."
"And you've seen how mine end up, Jane. The reasons those relationships haven't worked is because our relationship works so well. Look back at our friendship, Jane. We've survived so much. Thick and thin, isn't that what you call it? No matter what happens, we end up back together again. You're not going to lose me, and I'm not going to lose you."
"So that's it then? We sit down, we talk, and we decide we're more than friends now?" Jane asked, still confused. "It can't be that easy, can it?"
"Yes, it can be," Maura said. "Your mother even gave us her blessing this afternoon, in case you didn't hear it. But you could seal the deal, you know."
"Seal the deal?" Jane asked.
"You could kiss me. I've wanted you to kiss me for a long, long time. It would be nice if you would k-"
Jane leaned in and pressed her lips against Maura's. They both froze, and then they melted. Right into each other. Maura let go of Jane's hand so she could wrap her arms around Jane's waist. And Jane brought her hands up to tangle in Maura's hair, pulling her closer.
Jane felt an incredible swoop in her stomach. Maura's heart started to race. Their kiss heated up quickly. Maura loved the soft, but slightly chapped feeling of Jane's lips against her own. Jane marveled that Maura tasted like the wine she had been drinking and like... well, Maura.
They smiled shyly at each other as they broke away to catch their breath.
"I may not be gay," Jane started softly, "but I definitely liked kissing you."
"I don't care what you want to call yourself," Maura answered quietly, "just never stop kissing me."