Chapter Text
As he was on his way throught that dark night's streets of New York he tried to calm down. Because, yes, that running of his appartment was kinda pathetic and romantic, but he had absolutely no idea how to make it all work again.
He sat on seat of bus trying to not think, just for a few minutes, but his mind was full of Norman, not in that love-way, just... he knew for sure, that Norman needs him right now.
What should I do now? I mean... Yes, I do love him, in some way..these feeling are so deep inside of me. But, I know, I can't give him these things he wants from me. I'm not that brave, he knows it. He knows me, what am I.
I have wife, for godssake!
How am I able to make him happy? That's... No matter how hard I'll try, I can't quit my wife and kids.... He should know that...
Please God, I have never ever talk to you before, but please, please make him understand...
Andy was right in front of that building where's Norman living.
Unable to move.
Again.
After a few deep breathes he finally moved to doors. Not sure about what should he say to Norman, or what should he do.
With these thoughts he went right to Norman's appartment.
Another deep breath.
He knocked at the doors, after a few seconds longer then any others, he finally heard a sound from the inside and then the doors opened.
Andy wanted to say something, or do something, he was ready to talk, until Norman opened the doors.
As Andy saw him, saw that pain in his eyes, saw how tired and broke this guy is, he just leaned against the wall with his head unable to do anything.
Again.
They were looking at each other for a while.
"Hi..." Andy said with a fake smile on his face.
Norman just nodded and left the doors open, as he was on his way back to the flat.
Andy made a move and closed the doors when he came inside of Norman's messed flat.
Norman sat back to the couch, which was obviously his only place lately, he grabbed a glass of vodka and took a long sip.
Andy could look at it, he sat next to Norman on the couch and took another deep breathe.
Both of them knew this was different, it was so screwed up, how they are suppose to make it work again?
"Why are ya here?" Norman finally spoke, with a rough voice.
"Because...I want to apologize." Andy answered full of fear.
After a while Norman laughed. It wasn't happy at all.
"What?" Andy asked so lost because of this broken man right next to him.
"You came.. to apologise? After a years of rejecting me?" Norman said with sarcasm in his tired voice.
It hitted Andy like a truck. Again.
He wasn't able to say anything, so he stayed quiet instead of explain everything to Norman.
But it obviously wasn't what Norman wanted to hear, because he stood up and went right to the window.
Andy stayed to sit on the couch, to scared to turn to the window where's Norman.
"Look, Norman.. I want to-" Norman interruped him before he could end the sentense.
"What else do you want from me? Do you have a feeling I didn't give up more then I could just for you?! Even I had got a hundred million reasons to walk away, but I stayed! After seven years ya want to talk?! That's kinda late, don't you think?! After seven years I've been waiting for you to say anything! After seven years you made me feel like nothing more then shit, you want to show up and make it all work again?! Like everytime! You always fuck it up, then you leave me to deal with these demons all alone and after a couple of days ago you show up and talk things out! And I always believed you! You always gave me that feeling that I'm not shit, that you do care about me! But where the fuck are you all these moments I have to deal with demons darker you can even imagine?! And it's all your fault! I didn't want that much! What the fuck did you think?! That I'm that selfish to make you leave your family?! That I'm that selfish to make you be with me even you don't want to?! That's shit, and you know that! I just wanted... You by my side... Just to be there for me when I lose my way.. Was it that much?" The last sentense came from his mouth just like a whispering.
Andy was totally shocked and he realised that he was crying. Just as Norman did.
Both of them were crying.
"I just.. I..Norman, please.." Andy tried to explain everything to someone he loves more then he was able to admit for last seven years.
But Norman just wiped tears from his cheeks and turned back to the window.
"You should go..." He said after a while of quiet.
Andy couldn't believe what he heard, but after a while he realised it. Norman gave up the matter with him.
He nodded and even he wanted to say something, to fight for Norman's love, he stood up instead and walked from the doors.
The last thing he could hear before he closed the doors was Norman's cry and the only thing he wanted was to run back to his flat, hug him and just be with him.
But Norman didn't want him around and he'll respect it.
Andy came to the night's streets of New York trying not to cry, it was almost impossible. He knew how stupid it all seemed but he didn't care.
It's like some romantic-book bullshit. But without happy ending.
He walked a few meters, then he finally realised.
"You leave me to deal with all these demons all alone!"
"Fuck it!" He said to himself and turned back to Norman's house.
He ran back to his appartment as fast as he could.
When he opened the doors, Norman was crying on the floor totally broken. Andy have never seen him like this before.
He sat right next to him, hugged him and rested Norman's head on his shoulder without any word... he knew that no words are needed.
For the first time he wasn't ashamed of having Norman in his arms. For the first time he wasn't ashamed of feeling that this is a place Norman belongs to.
He knew how hard it will be in the future, but he didn't mind.
As long as he have Norman in his arms, he doesn't care about anything else.
"We'll figure it out. I'm here for you and I'll never leave you alone again." Andy whispered to Norman's hair...
And he knew he meant it.