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"I don't care what you say, I'm getting out of the house!" Dougie shouted, throwing the blankets off him, shivering slightly when his feet hit the cold floor.
"You’re just now getting better. I don't want you to get sick when you're on the mend, Dougs." Harry reasoned trying to decide what shirt to wear.
"I'll be fine. I need fresh air, I'm going crazy in this place." Dougie walked to the closet and started to pull on a t-shirt.
"Really?" Harry raised an eyebrow at Dougie. "It's the middle of December and you are getting over a bad cold, do you really think a simple t-shirt is a good idea?" Harry asked, reaching in the closet to pull out a thick sweater.
"I don't need to bundle up. I'll be fine." Dougie rolled his eyes.
"Please? For me?" Harry gave Dougie puppy dog eyes, hoping to cheer up his boyfriend.
"That's rich coming from you." Dougie spat, pulling on his jeans.
"What's wrong with you today?" Harry asked with concern.
"I just need out of this fucking house!" Dougie shouted, shoving his way past Harry and running down the stairs.
"It’s more than that, Dougie." Harry ran after Dougie, barely beating him to the door. "Dougie. Tell me." Harry had his hands framing Dougie's face. "You’ve been acting weird since yesterday, it's more than just the cold."
"I don't wanna talk about it." Dougie shrugged Harry off but neither moved. "Especially to you."
"You don't want to talk to me about something?" Harry tried not to sound hurt.
"We've had this conversation over and over, it's always the same." Dougie walked away from Harry but not out the door like Harry thought he would, instead, Dougie went to the kitchen. Harry debated whether or not to go after him, he didn't know what Dougie was talking about and it made him uneasy.
"Mind if I come into the kitchen?" Harry held his breath for a response.
"What for?" Dougie had been crying, Harry could tell and he could tell he was trying to hide it, he no longer cared about anything other than Dougie. Without answering Dougie's question, Harry turned the corner into the kitchen and gather his blonde boy into his arms.
"Shh, shh. It's okay. You don't have to tell me, you don't even have to like me right now. Just stop crying." Harry ran his hands up and down Dougie's back. "Stop crying before I have to start making dirty jokes, which you know I'm shit at." Dougie chuckled slightly. "There you go, just a little smile."
"Your-your mum rang yesterday." Dougie stuttered out through his tears.
"Ah." Harry knew what this was about now. "I'm sorry."
"It's been ten years, Harry. Ten fucking years." Dougie's voice was a mixture of anger, sadness and desperation. "Ten fucking miserable years and you still haven't told your parents that we're together!"
"Dougie…" Harry started, but Dougie pushed him away.
"I don't want to fucking hear it, Harry! It makes me feel like shit." Dougie walked away again heading for the door.
"Can we talk about this?" Harry pleaded, only to be answered by a slamming door. "Dougie." Harry whispered, dropping down on the couch. "I'm so shit. Fucking hell." Harry punched the couch repeatedly. "Fucking shit twat wanker." Harry was lost, every bone in his body was screaming for him to go after Dougie but he knew from previous experiences that going after Dougie when he was like this would be a mistake. For the first time in a long time, he wanted a drink.
Harry called Dougie and left him a couple of text messages before putting his mobile back in his back pocket and trying to decide what to do. After a few minutes of useless worrying about Dougie, Harry pulled out his mobile again but this time dialled Tom's number.
"Hello?" Tom's cheery voice came over the speakers.
"Hey, Tom, quick question, have you or Danny heard from Dougie?" Harry worried his lip as he waited for Tom to answer, he heard him shout and ask Danny if he had heard from Doug.
"Nope. Neither of us have. Is everything all right?" Harry could hear the slight worry in Tom's tone.
"I hope so." Harry whispered to himself, then louder. "Yeah. I think so, he just went for a walk. You know me, I worry about him." Harry gave a fake laugh that was good enough to convince Tom.
"Okay, I hope he gets back soon, mate." Tom hung up and Harry felt alone. Harry called James with no luck and Matt was at the gym so it was likely he wouldn't get ahold of him for at least an hour. Harry let out a groan. He wasn't sure he could fix things this time like he had been able to before. Dougie was right, ten years is long enough.
Not knowing what else to do, Harry ran upstairs where he saw Dougie's sweater and remembered that he was only wearing a t-shirt. Harry sighed, he didn't want Dougie to get more sick. He picked up the sweater and left the house, not sure where he would find Dougie but knowing he had to.
Harry had looked every place he could think of for Dougie, his heart sank further and further with every dead end. He was able to talk to Matt who hadn't seen him but sounded suspiciously in the know, Harry was just imagining things. It would be easier if Dougie went to a mutual friends' house for support, but that wasn't the case. Harry felt like an idiot.
Harry stopped by the store to pick up flowers to give Dougie when he found him and spent the next twenty minutes aimlessly walking down the streets inhaling the scent of Dougie's sweater, hoping to see a glimpse of the blonde.
When Harry closed the door to their home he was too exhausted to even walk to the couch, he just slid down to the floor, tears beginning to pour out. He heard soft thunk on the other side of the door, Harry started to listen intently there was definitely someone out there. Jumping to his feet and wiping his eyes, Harry opened the door and to his relief, he saw Dougie, looking cold and small sitting on the front step. It was Dougie though, he was safe, he came home.
He didn't know what to say, he was just so happy. He jumped at Dougie hugging him tightly and whispering promises of love and apologising in a million ways. Harry was still clutching the sweater which he handed to Dougie when he felt him shiver against him.
"I'm sorry. Please, come inside." Harry tugged Dougie over to the couch, picking up the floors from the floor and setting them on his lap. "I, uh, bought you these." Harry handed Dougie the flowers awkwardly, who just stared at them. Harry couldn't read Dougie's expression, it was like every emotion at once."I'm not breaking up with you, just so you know. You can breathe now." Dougie finally spoke, Harry was grateful for his words but still shocked by them.
"You aren't?" Harry heard himself ask, at least it made Dougie look up at him.
"No, you twat. I love you, that doesn't go away just because you piss me off." Dougie was silent for awhile after that, thinking about what to say. "I'm sorry for running out but we've had this conversation and I didn't want to be charmed out of it." Dougie had gone back to looking at the flowers in his hand. "These are lovely."
"Where'd you go?" Harry asked, his hand inching towards Dougie's.
"I walked for a bit. I ended up in some bar." Harry's breath hitched, suddenly hit with guilt. "I didn't drink, don't worry. I'd be in a worst state now if I did." Dougie attempted a joke and let his hand move closer to Harry's. "I wanted to, though. I just wanted to forget all these stupid problems. I called Matt instead, we talked. And yes, before you ask, I was with him when you called. I asked him to lie for me." Dougie took another really long pause, Harry felt like he should say something so he said the only thing that came to mind.
"I love you."
"I know you do." Dougie took a deep breath. "I'm not going to leave you, but I can't keep feeling how I do every time one of your parents call or you spend a holiday with them or there's a family emergency and I can't be there. I know you love me, but I don't want to live in the shadows anymore. It hurts too much." Dougie locked eyes with Harry's ice blue ones, tears streaming down his face. "It fucking hurts."
Harry wrapped his arms around Dougie, letting him cry his pain out. He was at a loss for what to say, he just held Dougie as he cried, grateful that he wasn't being pushed away.
"This isn't fair to you." Harry croaked out, hating himself for how much pain he had caused Dougie. "You don't deserve shadows, you deserve light. I'm going to tell them about you. I'm going to tell my parents everything." When Harry had finished talking, Dougie's lips crashed onto his. "Maybe not everything." Harry smiled until Dougie started coughing.
"Sorry, I've ruined this moment." Dougie laughed so full of happiness.
"Next time I suggest you wear a sweater, you're wearing the sweater. I don't care if we are fighting. You're sick again." Harry nagged, running a soothing hand through Dougie's hair.
"I guess that means you have to take care of me some more then." Dougie whispered dirtily. "Maybe the same treatment as last time?"
"Mmm, later. Now, I want to get you in some warm comfy clothes, under some blankets with a hot cup of tea." Harry kissed Dougie as they walked to the bedroom hand in hand.
"I really do love you, you know." Dougie said once he was under the blanket. "I shouldn't have worried you like I did."
"No, I think you had to. I had to realise what has at risk." Harry brushed a stray lock of hair away from Dougie's face. "Thinking about it, I really can't wait for my parents to know how much I love you."