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His whole life has changed in the blink of a second and it’s really hard sometimes to not feel sorry for himself. He had it all: the best friend, the girl, the game. The life, really. One tackle and it was all over.
It sucks.
To make matters even worse his parents are suing Coach Taylor and it’s a really small town so people aren’t looking at him as ‘the star quarterback currently in a wheelchair’ anymore. Now he’s ‘the once star quarterback in a wheelchair, paralysed for life with a girlfriend and best friend that slept together while he was in rehab and a family that’s now suing the coach that’s guided his football playing career’ or, ‘the coach that gave him his football career’; take your pick.
It all really, really sucks.
Seeing the look on Coach’s face, the look in his eyes, at the fair ground kind of broke him but in a completely different way to how Lyla broke him. He knows that look was mirrored in his eyes, too. A look of loss, a little devastation and the barest hint of strength, the knowledge that maybe, just maybe, they’d get through this.
The chant had played over and over in his head as Coach had met his gaze and it’s just so fucking frustrating because he’s in a wheelchair now and he’s had to accept the fact that it’s never going to go away.
Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.
It’s frustrating because it’s not just happening to him, either. It’s a heavier weight on his shoulder knowing that he’s being a burden to everyone. His injury, it’s happening to this whole town, his whole team, to Saracen, to Riggins and…and it’s happening to Lyla, too.
Lyla.
She’s not the kind of girl that sleeps with her boyfriend’s best friend. He knows that she loves him. She’d pretty much revolved her whole future, her whole life, around him playing football and he’s only just realising that the second his dreams came crashing down, so did hers. Maybe, if he hadn’t spent so long focusing on his own dreams and noticed that this whole thing affected her, too, she might not have fallen into his best friend’s bed.
Maybe.
Maybe he shouldn’t keep holding onto her. Maybe he should let her go to Riggins. He’s pretty sure that Texas is never going to happen now and he knows that Tim has a thing for her. He has since forever but Lyla had only ever had eyes for him. Well, ‘only ever’ lasted until he was crippled but she came back to him. She came back with tears and words and heart and she’s the only thing he has left that’s worth holding onto so, yeah, he should probably let her go; let Riggins have her because he can offer her so much more than he’ll ever be able to but he loves her. He can offer that, right? That’ll be enough, surely?
Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.
It’s affecting his parents more than anyone except himself. It was fine in the beginning because the whole town rallied around them offering them support and cooked meals and kind words but eventually, the town moves on. Everyone moves on and they have to because it’s life and it doesn’t stop for no one, especially a small town star quarterback has-been and could-have-been.
Slowly, everyone returns to their lives and his parents now have expenses they never dreamed of: wheelchairs, mobility vans, ramps…all kinds of shit. He knows that they don’t have the money and that it has to come from somewhere but he didn’t think they’d sue Coach Taylor to get it. The guy has been a mentor to him. He’s been a second father and now when he sees him he doesn’t know what to say.
It sucks and where is ‘clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose’ going to get him now?
It’s kind of ironic that the game that offered him everything is the same thing that took it all away in seconds.
His bright future, his girl, everything; all gone with one tackle.
Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.
He has the clear eyes and full heart so why does he feel like he’s losing?