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She’s there for him during the scariest moments of his life (it’s fucked up that he can’t narrow it down to one moment anymore) and he’s not sure why because they’ve always had an unvoiced agreement to stay out of each others’ way. He never asked her to be there for him, (he’s never really been the guy to ‘ask’ for anything) but she’s Caroline and Caroline has never been good at staying out of other peoples’ business. She does whatever she wants (whether she’s asked to or not) whenever she wants but for the first time in ever, he’s glad that she has that trait because it means he doesn’t have to ask. It feels really fucking good to have someone on his side, too; someone to talk to about everything and to know that he’s not alone in all this.
*/*
He walks away and leaves them to their conversation because he’s not expecting Matt to kiss her.
He looks back, though, as he’s climbing into his truck, and sees Matt reach for her. His hands tense around the steering wheel and his vision gets a little hazy as he watches her close her eyes and lean into the kiss. It only lasts a second but that’s still a second too long in his book, and even after she walks away, all he’s thinking is, Matt can’t have her again because he needs her too much. It’s true, too, because he doesn’t think he could have made it through the past - however long it’s been - without her. He needs her.
He probably shouldn’t tell her that, though; that she can’t go back to Matt because Matt already had her and it’s his turn now. He probably should have thought about what he was saying first, or at least waited until she’d made her way up the path before saying anything at all, but he’s been sitting here for hours wondering where she’s been and if she was with Matt and he hates the feeling that crawled through his stomach as he thought of what they could be doing. (Yeah, that caring thing is a whole new feeling.)
Her jaw drops but the silence only lasts a second before she’s asking him if he’s serious and he doesn’t realise fast enough that he shouldn’t answer yes. Suddenly, she’s angry and talking so fast that all he can pick up on is her calling him rude and selfish. He knows he should take it back, or at least try to fix what he said, make her understand, but she looks really hot when she’s angry; the way she fists her hands at her sides and huffs when she realises that he’s not listening. He does the only thing he can think to do, because he wants to and because it’s the only way he thinks she’ll understand. He’s reaching out to her before he even realises it and then they’re kissing and why has he never done this before? It doesn’t last long, though, because she’s pushing him away and yelling some more as she slams the door in his face.
She doesn’t talk to either of them for a week.
*/*
They’re hosting another event celebrating the founding families and he’s not interested at all. He’s learning fairly quickly that nothing good ever comes from these parties; it’s like the town‘s cursed because usually, someone turns up dead: Vicky, his father, Sarah.
She’s the last to arrive, walking in with Damon’s arm resting on the small of her back. Stefan and Elena are with them, too, and that makes it look more like two couples out on a date. She looks amazing in a simple blue dress that rests a few inches above her knees, her hair falling in soft waves down her back and he thinks for a moment how it’d feel if it was his arm around her, instead. He can’t help but search her out every time he looks around because he just wants to look at her for the rest of the night but she won’t look at him and they’re still not talking.
She continues to ignore him all night and even though he hasn’t really been making the effort to get her attention, he’s sick of it. The parties winding down when he sees her walk into the guest room and no one else seems to have noticed her leave (she’s been surrounded by someone: Damon, Stefan, Bonnie, Jeremy, Matt, at all stages of the night) so he follows after her.
By the time he reaches the bedroom, she’s standing in front of the vanity in the en suite, washing her hands. He doesn’t take his eyes off her as he walks across the room and she doesn’t look up until he’s leaning against the bathroom door frame.
“Stop looking at me like that,” she says, as she meets his gaze in the mirror.
“Like what?”
“Like you want to kiss me again.”
“Maybe I do,” he offers, with a shrug.
He can tell she’s frustrated; her whole posture sinks as she tilts her head back and lets her eyes fall closed briefly before she replies, “we can’t, Tyler.”
He doesn’t like the way she says it, like she’s fighting it, like it’s painful to say, but it’s enough to convince him that he’s not the only one feeling this - whatever it is between them now.
“We can,” he offers in return as he steps closer to her, one arm lifting in an attempt to reach out to her, but she steps back so fast that she’s almost in the shower, before he can touch her. He doesn’t understand why she’s avoiding him, why she’s fighting him, this, so much, when it’s so obvious that she wants it, too.
“No, Tyler. You’re not listening to me. We can’t, okay? A month ago, you couldn’t even stand me.”
“That’s not true.”
She starts talking fast, with hands waving around, and he has to really concentrate on listening to her. He’d rather they started using their lips for something, anything, else other than talking. He’s better at that.
“It is, Tyler. You know it is and that’s okay because I couldn’t really stand you, either. Our relationship, or whatever you want to call it, worked because I thought you were an ass and you thought I was a shallow airhead, and we avoided each other because it was easier than pretending we were friends.”
“We’re different now.”
“Exactly. God, Tyler. There’s so much you don’t even know.”
“Well, tell me then.” Seriously, what is it with girls and their need to make everything so difficult?
“I can’t,” she replies and she looks so desperate, like she’s torn between so much and he just wants to smooth the furrow in her brow and hold her. It’s a weird thought because he’s not the kind of guy that just holds girls. It’s the first time he’s had this feeling, too, but it’s only for a moment before one that he’s quite familiar with overtakes it.
He’s in front of her in seconds, trying to push her up against a wall that’s not there. They end up stumbling further into the shower, until she’s leaning against the back wall. There are lips and hands everywhere; he’s kissing down her throat as her hands slide up his arms, her hands are cupping her neck, fingers tangling in her hair as she starts unbuttoning his shirt.
All of a sudden, her whole body tenses and when he looks up he sees that her eyes are wide and alert. He’s about to speak, to ask her what’s wrong, when she moves them so his back is against the shower wall, her eyes willing him to be silent. It’s in the silence that he hears them, people in the room, and even though his view into the bedroom is blocked he can easily recognise the voice of Elena. It doesn’t take him long to work out that the other voice belongs to Damon. He’s curious, and offers a smirk and raised brow to Caroline because he’d thought that Elena only had eyes for Stefan, but the low timbre of their voices in a quiet room point more toward a lovers’ quarrel than a friendly discussion.
It doesn’t take long for their hushed whispers to become raised voices and his blood runs cold at what he hears.
Well, it’d run cold if it could.
She holds his gaze the entire time that they’re talking about vampires and werewolves, Mason and someone called Katherine, of curses and blood and sacrifices and destroying him. The anger is coursing through his veins and he’s so close to just yelling when Caroline covers his mouth with her hand.
He thought that this was between just the two of them, that it was something they shared together. They were both changing and alone and all they had was each other but all along she had others and apparently, they’re mortal enemies.
He just wants his old life back.
She doesn’t let go of him until they leave, Elena walking out on the argument and Damon following her, and then he’s across the room from her as fast as he can be.
“Tyler,” she whispers.
“You lied to me.”
It comes out as a whisper, too, which is a surprise because there is so much anger coursing through him right now, he can’t even explain it. His hands are fisted at his side, his jaw is tensed and his skin hot.
“I know,” she replies, and she has that look on her face again, like this physically hurts her and she just wants to cry. He doesn’t know how, even now, she still looks so beautiful and he hates her a little for it.
“You let me believe that you were the only one.”
“I know, Tyler. I couldn’t...”
He finally gets his body to move, lifting his hand and thrusting a pointed finger towards her and his voice to rise above a whisper as he shouts out at her, “you could, you just didn’t”.
“It’s not like that….”
“It’s exactly like that. I thought we were both alone but you weren’t. I thought you knew what I was going through.”
“I do…”
He knows that he keeps interrupting her, that he’s not letting her get a word in but right now, his anger is the only thing that’s keeping him grounded. It’s all just too much and he can’t let her try to make it better.
“No, because all along you’ve had others like you; others here to rely on.”
“I was alone, Tyler. I woke up alone, in a hospital, and things were happening to me that I didn’t understand. I was alone, okay? I killed someone, too, so I do know what you’re going through. I know how you feel and I didn’t want you to have to go through it all alone; the confusion and the anger.”
He just shakes his head and leaves the room.
*/*
He doesn’t talk to her for a week.
He can see the looks she’s sending him in the hallways, in class, when he’s on the basketball court: pleading. But every time he looks at her, or Elena, or Damon, or Stefan, he remembers that she’s not alone and that they’re all enemies. He really doesn’t know who to trust anymore and he feels more alone that ever. Elena knows the truth so he assumes that Jeremy does, too, and the whole sudden friendship around the moonstone makes a lot more sense. He sees Damon around town, talking to Caroline’s mom, to Mr Saltzman, to Mason’s friend Jules, and now every time he sees them, he just doesn’t know.
He’s left with so many fucking questions.
It takes him a while to talk himself into it but he’s pretty sure that Damon and Stefan are the only ones who can answer all his questions. They’re like, 150 or something, aren’t they? He knows where their house is (everyone does) and he’s so sick of everyone knowing what’s going on around him before he does so he finally shows up Friday night.
He’s not surprised when Caroline opens the door. They’re all there, too; Elena, Jeremy, Damon, Stefan, Mr Saltzman and Bonnie.
“You too? Goddamn, is there anyone in this town that isn’t in on this?”
It’s Damon that steps forward and speaks, “you shouldn’t be here, Pup.”
“I want some damn answers. You can start with what the hell you did to my uncle,” he says with more confidence than he feels. He hopes that no one notices the way his hands, hanging at his sides in fists, are quivering. He’s not leaving until he finds out what the hell is going on and when he looks up and meets Caroline’s gaze, she offers him a small nod and a tight smile. He thinks (hopes) that it means she has his back.