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2016-11-15
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when i"m with you (i have fun)

Summary:

Cara knows she’s not the one who starts the kiss. Cara knows this because she decided that wasn’t a thing she was going to do as soon as Ginny asked if she had a car. Ginny is pretty and Cara is gay, and she decided at the beginning of the night that Ginny was a level of unobtainable that wasn’t worth it. She also figured out that Ginny needed a friend, not someone who wanted anything from her. So she knows she’s not the one to lean in.

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Cara stops recording and puts her phone to the side. There is this world famous athlete crying in the tub beside her. This world famous athlete who’s just a girl, a girl Cara’s age, and Cara’s never dealt well with pretty girls crying.

“Ginny, babe.”

Ginny keeps crying.

It takes some maneuvering, because the bathtub isn’t really that big, and unlike Ginny, Cara hasn’t seen the inside of a gym in months and doesn’t have abs like a Renaissance sculpture— not that Cara was looking when Ginny changed out of the dress, but. Okay, maybe a little. But only after she’d gotten a bra and dry panties; Cara’s not a predator. Anyway— it takes some maneuvering, but Cara adjusts in the tub, gets her arms around Ginny.

“Babe, it’s okay,” she murmurs. “You’re okay.”

Ginny clutches at her.

“C’mon, I got you.”

-

Cara knows she’s not the one who starts the kiss. Cara knows this because she decided that wasn’t a thing she was going to do as soon as Ginny asked if she had a car. Ginny is pretty and Cara is gay, and she decided at the beginning of the night that Ginny was a level of unobtainable that wasn’t worth it. She also figured out that Ginny needed a friend, not someone who wanted anything from her. So she knows she’s not the one to lean in.

Which means it’s Ginny’s fault they’re kissing right now. Hard and messy and so good Cara doesn’t ever want to stop. But she’s supposed to be being a good person, a friend. So she pulls back a little. Ginny chases her, leaning and reaching with her mouth and Cara kisses her one more time before fully separating.

“Wait, Ginny, are you sure you— ”

“Where’s your phone?” Ginny asks, sudden and urgent.

“Um.” Cara reaches behind her, tries to find it. It’s burrowed itself under her thigh on the bottom of the tub. “Here?”

Ginny takes it. Holds down the power button until it turns off.

“Okay?” Ginny asks and Cara doesn’t really know what she means.

“Okay?” Cara says back, and then Ginny’s kissing her again and oh, no cameras, that’s what she meant.

God, the tub is uncomfortable. Cara’s feet are tucked up under her and Ginny is leaning into her hard, the edge of the bathtub digging into her back, and she wants to lie down, wants Ginny on top of her, wants to not scare Ginny off. Maybe this is being a friend. Maybe this is what Ginny needs right now. Maybe Cara, 23 and probably unemployed without prospects, isn’t in a place to decide what is a good choice for Ginny tonight.

Ginny pulls her up onto her knees, and Cara just stays there for a while, kissing her and kissing her. Ginny is a good kisser. Cara wonders if she has much experience, wonders how different Ginny’s life must be from hers. Cara’s made out with plenty of girls in bathrooms at parties, though never in the bathtub, and never up on her knees, painful against the bottom of the tub.

“C’mon,” Ginny says, and actually lifts her up. God, Cara has too much of a thing for athletic girls. “Lie back,” Ginny says like she’s exasperated, like Cara should have figured this out already, and maybe she should’ve, but Ginny is kissing her neck now, and it’s all Cara can do to get her brain working enough to maneuver herself to lying down.

This is probably a terrible idea. Cara wonders if she’ll have to sign nondisclosure agreements or whatever after this.

“You said I was wet from the pool, yeah?” Ginny says. “Want to see just how wet I actually am?”

Cara cracks up. “Oh my God, that is such a bad line.”

“So you don’t want to?” Ginny says, bites at the tendons in Cara’s neck.

“I didn’t say that.” She tilts her head to give Ginny more access, and shivers.

Her hand is just slipping inside Ginny’s borrowed pants when there’s a knock on the door and they both freeze.

“Cara, I’m starving,” Ana calls through the door. “And too drunk to drive. Take me somewhere.”

“Yeah, one minute,” Cara yells back.

She looks at Ginny, whose face is still so close to hers. Ginny looks a little shell-shocked. Cara smiles gently.

“Can I buy you dinner first?”

It makes Ginny laugh, which was the point. She’s gorgeous when she laughs, and Cara can’t help but tug her a little closer and kiss her again. Cara kind of hopes Ginny’s too drunk to remember this whole thing. It’d be easier on her, Cara thinks, and that’s more important than being a memorable make out.

-

They take Ginny to In-N-Out, because she’s never been there. Cara doesn’t even think it’s that great normally, but when you’re drunk skipping out on responsibilities, it’s fantastic. Cara gets a strawberry milkshake and steals a couple of Ginny’s fries. Ginny hasn’t stopped smiling since they left the bathroom. It makes Cara want to kiss her again, because she is beautiful, all the time but especially when she smiles. Cara reminds herself Ginny is famous, and this would be easier if she doesn’t even remember that they made out, and she doesn’t kiss her.

She even tries to gently push Ginny back on track for tomorrow, but Ginny wants to go to the beach. So Cara drives to the beach.

-

As soon as they park, Ginny starts unbuttoning her borrowed jeans.

“What are you doing?”

“I gotta feel the ocean,” Ginny says as she strips the jeans off.

“Oh my God,” Cara says.

Ginny takes off running for the water, just a t-shirt and panties. Cara and Ana chase after her across the sand.

“You should bring home famous people all the time,” Ana says. “This is fun.”

Cara kind of thinks she should just bring home Ginny all the time.

Ginny plays in knee-deep water for half an hour before collapsing on the sand next to Cara. She’s way too close, leaning into Cara’s side, dropping her head onto her shoulder. Ana smirks at them.

“The beach is awesome,” Ginny says, yawning. She sort of half-head butts Cara. “You’re awesome.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Cara whispers it like it’s their secret.

Ginny beams at her.

-

They drop Ana back at her place. Cara gets out and gives her a hug but Ginny’s barely awake enough to say bye through the window. It’s almost four am. Cara considers bringing Ginny back to her apartment, but that seems like even more of a scandal waiting to happen. If she’s supposed to be at the ballpark by eight, well. It’s only four hours from now.

She does stop at her apartment to brush her teeth and grab a hairbrush before she leaves. Ginny spends the entire time asleep in Cara’s car. The whole drive south to San Diego, Ginny’s head never comes up from where it’s hanging, chin to her chest. Her neck is going to hurt like a bitch tomorrow.

Cara parks outside Petco Park. It’s been a pretty weird night. She knows how a celebrity kisses, knows she sleeps with her mouth open, just a little bit. She knows she’s rather be curled up in a bed beside her. Instead, she puts her seat back and falls asleep.

-

Cara doesn’t sleep well and she doesn’t sleep long. By seven am the sun is up and so is Cara. She checks on Ginny— still out— and brushes her hair. She’s gotta find someone to talk to about last night.

Just her luck, halfway across the parking lot, there’s a blonde in a fuschia trench coat who looks pissed. She was at the party, Cara thinks, but Cara didn’t exactly stay at the party long enough to be sure. Cara leaves Ginny sleeping and goes to her.

“Hey,” Cara says. It’s only supposed to be the start, she has more to say, has a bit of an explanation, but the blonde cuts in.

“I’m going to need to watch you delete any videos and pictures you have on your phone,” she says. “And the names of anyone else who might have pictures or video.”

Cara laughs, and the blonde narrows her eyes.

“I’m Cara,” Cara says, “and I’m not giving you any other names. I did want to talk to someone, though. You know Ginny how?”

The woman scoffs and Cara tries not to laugh again.

“I’m Ginny’s agent, Amelia Slater.”

“Nice to meet you.” Cara offers her hand and Amelia shakes it, albeit still looking like she feels too important to do so. “I’ve kind of got something I want to show you.”

Showing her the video is a bit awkward, but Cara has to pass this off to someone who has more of an ability to do something about it.

Amelia looks somewhere between ready to cry and ready to burn buildings to make sure Ginny doesn’t feel like this anymore. Cara decides she likes her. She sends Amelia the video then deletes all traces of it.

“You don’t have anything else damaging? Nothing you’re going to sell to TMZ?”

“I have other pictures, and I’m going to keep them unless Ginny tells me she’d rather I didn’t.”

Cara has no problem standing up to Amelia. Probably in the fancy baseball world Ginny lives in, Amelia is powerful and intimidating. But to Cara she’s just a woman who cares about Ginny, and Cara kind of counts herself in that cohort now, too.

Amelia looks kind of impressed, actually, so Cara figures she’ll be fine.

“Okay, well then it was nice meeting you, and Ginny should probably start her day now,” Amelia says. She takes a step toward Cara’s car, where Ginny still sleeps.

“Sure,” Cara says before Amelia can get Ginny herself. “Just let me go wake her up.”

Amelia looks offended beyond belief, but she doesn’t argue.

Ginny wakes up on her own, actually, which is good, because Cara had no idea how she was going to wake her. A hand on her shoulder and a whisper right in her ear would"ve been nice, but Cara is very aware of Amelia watching behind her. Amelia or no, Cara is going to hug Ginny. This is probably the last time Cara will get to see her anywhere but on TV and in ads— it’d be a nice story, sure, if they became friends, but Cara isn"t going to kid herself. This is probably the last time Cara will see Ginny, and she"s hugging her, okay?

-

When she gets a call a few days later and Ginny’s name is on her caller ID, she thinks it"s a joke. There"s no way it"s real. She spends so long staring at her phone in disbelief, it almost goes to voicemail before she manages to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Cara? It"s Ginny.”

Holy fuck it"s actually her. Cara falls backward onto her bed, stares up at her ceiling.

“Ginny,” she says. “Hey.”

Cara doesn"t know why she"s calling. Cara doesn"t even particularly care why she"s calling. It"s just nice to have her on the phone, to hear her voice, hear Cara’s name in that voice. She had been so certain she"d never hear from Ginny again; she"s so happy to have been wrong.

“I wanted to say thanks for the other night,” Ginny says. “I did some stupid stuff but I probably needed to.”

“We all gotta do stupid stuff now and then.”

Like, for instance, get crushes on straight girls, famous straight girls even.

“I, uh,” Ginny"s voice is quieter here, and Cara presses her phone tighter to her ear. “Thanks for the video thing, too. For showing Amelia, and for deleting it.”

“Of course, Ginny,” Cara says gently. “I want you to be okay.”

“Yeah,” Ginny says. “Me too, yeah.”

Cara lies there, staring at the ceiling and listening to Ginny breathe. She should probably say something, but the silence doesn’t feel awkward, not really.

“I didn’t remember crying,” Ginny says. She is so quiet. “But, um. I remember other stuff that happened in the tub.”

Cara’s heart jumps to her throat.

“Oh?” is all she says. She doesn’t know why Ginny is even bringing it up.

“I have an off day on Thursday,” Ginny says. “If you wanted to get coffee or something. Talk a little.”

Oh, Cara gets it. Ginny"s probably afraid of the same thing Amelia is afraid of.

“Ginny, you don"t have to worry,” Cara says. “I"m not going to be selling a story or anything like that. What happened was our business and that"s it—you don"t have to take me to coffee to convince me otherwise.”

Ginny chuckles, this soft, embarrassed sound. “Cara,” she says. “I meant like. I want to take you out.”

Cara gapes. “Oh, like— like—”

“Like a date.”

Cara feels warm all over. “Yeah,” she says quickly, because she doesn"t want Ginny to be nervous waiting for her answer. “Yeah. That sounds great.”