Chapter Text
Between a doctor's appointment, last minute arrangements, and a delayed train, Roy didn't actually speak to Gracie's parents until about two hours before the ceremony. There was something surreal about it, about her grabbing him by the arm, dragging him over, and announcing, "Mama, Papa, this is Roy, the man I'm going to marry."
"I remember," said Gracie's mother appreciatively.
Roy instinctively put one hand behind his back to cover his rear.
"You look familiar," said Gracie's father.
"Papa," said Gracie, "I already told you--he was Maes's best man. You met him then. Remember?"
Gracie's father examined him closely. "You changed something," he accused.
"Lost an eye, sir," Roy suggested.
"That must be it," Gracie's father said. "And who's your best man, then?"
"Lieutenant Hawkeye," Roy answered.
"Strange thing," Gracie's father mused. "I don't think I've ever seen so many officers at a corporal's wedding before."
"What can I say, sir," Roy said. "My superiors love me."
Gracie squeezed his hand and snickered.
"So which one is this Hawkeye?" Gracie's father asked.
"The striking blonde hiding behind the floral arrangements," Roy said, pointing.
"Huh," said Gracie's father.
Gracie had assured Roy her family would be unbothered by a female best man. It was this assurance that allowed him to keep his calm.
That and the fact that Gracie was still holding his hand.
"Son," said Gracie's father, after a long pause. Roy steeled himself. "You're marrying my daughter today, so you really shouldn't be looking at--hm." He paused again, and looked at Gracie. "Pumpkin, do you mind if he looks at striking blondes?"
Roy took a second and a half to process the implications behind that question, and felt his heart stop.
"Considering Riza would put a bullet in his kneecap if she caught him at it," Gracie said breezily, "he's welcome to look wherever he wants."
"Bit of a dyke, then, eh?" asked Gracie's father. "You going to marry her after this one kicks it?"
Roy wondered if there was a discreet place to draw an array to make the earth open up beneath him. Gracie's father was no less terrifying for the twinkle in his eye.
Gracie said, "Yes, Papa, we've already got the china patterns picked out."
"Don't be ridiculous, darling," said Gracie's mother. "You don't need china for a third marriage."
"Probably not," Gracie agreed, "but it'll be Riza's first, and I'd hate to deprive her."
"Very thoughtful of you," her father commended her.
"There's thoughtful and then there's wasteful, Reginald," said Gracie's mother.
"So don't buy them the china," said Gracie's father. "Get them a nice vase, or something."
"What is it with vases?" asked Gracie's mother. "You always want to get people vases. You're getting married, have a vase. Happy birthday, have a vase. It's our anniversary, have a vase."
Gracie pulled Roy away, grinning. When they'd made their escape, Gracie said, "See, I told you it'd be all right."
Roy nodded slowly. "I'm starting to see why you didn't bat an eyelash about me and Maes." If her family could joke about her marrying Hawkeye like it wasn't anything, then... He shook his head, confused in spite of himself.
"Just now?" Gracie asked, looking half-amused, half-pitying. "You're just now figuring that out?"
Roy gave her a dirty look. "I was a bit preoccupied at the time!"
Gracie gave him a peck on the cheek and said affectionately, "Idiot."
Roy put his arms around her and let his head rest on her shoulder. "Why isn't this as strange for everyone else as it is for me?" he asked plaintively.
Gracie pressed a sideways kiss to his jaw. "Most of my family has an inkling of how close we were," she told him.
Roy squeezed his eye shut and tried even more desperately to hide in her shoulder. "He knew. Your father knew and he was screwing with me."
Gracie snickered. "Go talk to your men," she suggested. "They're all baffled beyond belief. You can be as mysterious as you want about it. It'll make you feel better."
"Why," Roy groaned, still stuck on her family. "Why do they know?"
"Well," Gracie said, stroking his hair, "a girl tells her mother things. And Mama tells Papa things--that's what marriage is about, you know. And Maes told his sister things--"
"Joannie?" Roy asked, jerking back to look at her in horror. "Joannie knows? Joannie, your matron of honor? Joannie, who's putting flowers in Alicia's hair right now, that Joannie?"
Gracie patted his arm comfortingly.
"I'm your dirty laundry," said Roy, imagining them gossiping over knitting or something. Gracie didn't knit, or crochet, or embroider, or anything--she even kept her regular old sewing needles locked up in a drawer to keep Alicia out of them. And Joannie--if Joannie had ever touched a ball of yarn, Roy was a fish. He felt himself start to gasp in helpless laughter.
"Breathe," Gracie said, rubbing his back. "I'm making you an honest man today."
Roy did laugh--silently, breathlessly, into her shoulder--at that. He couldn't help it.
"If it's any comfort," Gracie offered, "I don't think my brothers know."
This, it turned out, was wrong, or at least half-wrong. On his way to speak with Armstrong to make sure there would be no embellishments in the vows, Roy was ambushed by Gracie's younger brother, James, who declared, "I just want you to know that you're an inspiration to me."
"That's very nice," said Roy. "I'm glad for you."
"I mean it," said James. "You're very brave. I don't know if I'll ever be as brave as you."
"Thank you," Roy said flatly, non-plussed. It had been awhile since anyone had lauded him for that war hero crap.
"To say to a man," James went on, "that you love him so much that you don't care that he married someone else, you still want to be with him--"
"I don't know what you've heard," Roy said, "but it's just rumors. False rumors. I assure you."
James caught him by the arm--his left arm, which meant Roy didn't see it coming, which was the only reason James actually caught him. "Do you think you could ever love someone like me?" James asked him moonily.
"I'm marrying your sister," Roy pointed out.
"But--" James said.
"Your sister," Roy repeated. "Even if I were remotely inclined in your direction, which I'm not, that would be wrong."
James stared at him soulfully.
Hawkeye said, "Sir, it's time for the ceremony."
"Thank you," said Roy, so relieved that he forgot to be nervous until after he'd signed the marriage license and the paperwork for Alicia's legal guardianship, and it was time to exchange rings. Gracie put Maes's ring on his finger, and even though they'd discussed that ("Non-traditional, but I think, in this case, it's fitting," she'd said), it still shook him. He nearly dropped her ring when Hawkeye handed it him, and Gracie had to help him get it on her own finger.
Then Armstrong shoved them into the foyer and Hawkeye took up guard position, to allow them their moment of privacy before their friends and family descended to congratulate them. In theory, this was supposed to be a time for quiet introspection. In practice, Roy recalled, he'd stood guard while Maes and Gracie made out in the broom closet. At least, he'd thought they'd just been making out, and at the time, he'd hoped they'd just been making out. And now...
Gracie said, "Penny for your thoughts."
Roy smiled a little. "Just that, if your first wedding had been a few years later, the pair of you probably would have dragged me in the closet with you."
Gracie said, "I miss him, too." She hugged Roy around the shoulders and asked, "Are you all right?"
Roy rubbed the ring on his left hand with his thumb. He didn't really feel up to answering the question, so he said, "Your brother propositioned me."
"Hubert?" Gracie asked, tearing away from him to try to look through the frosted glass in the door.
"James," Roy answered, shuddering at the thought of hulking Hubert coming after him.
"Oh, well, that's all right then," said Gracie. "James is much prettier."
"Gracie," Roy said, scandalized.
Gracie snickered at him.
"Your family terrifies me," Roy admitted.
"You really should go talk to your men," Gracie urged him. "They're your family. It's always easier to face your in-laws with your own family at your back. Trust me."
"But you get along fine with Maes's family," Roy said.
"Isn't that proof I know what I'm talking about?" Gracie asked.
"Don't we have to eat cake or something?" Roy said.
"Roy Mustang, are you avoiding them?" Gracie asked him incredulously.
"No," Roy lied. She'd said before that he could be as mysterious as he liked with them, but he couldn't, really. If he spoke with them, he'd have to tell them, and that was just unthinkable.
"Then go," said Gracie.
"We just got married," Roy said plaintively.
"And we'll still be married in an hour," said Gracie. "You'll feel better for it. I promise."
Feeling as if he were facing an execution squad, Roy opened the door. "Hawkeye," he said, "assemble the troops. We're having a last-minute bachelor party."
Hawkeye, still in stiff-backed guard stance, turned only her head to frown at him. "You got married ten minutes ago, sir."
"Belated," Roy corrected himself. "We're having a belated bachelor party."
"It's all right, Riza," said Gracie. "He just needs a little breathing space before my family tries to traumatize him with our progressive ways again."
"Incest is not progressive," Roy protested.
"He's not your brother," Gracie answered. She kissed him and shoved him out.
Hawkeye managed to get everyone together in short order, and cleared them a table with (Roy suspected) the sheer power of her glare. She seated Roy between herself and Havoc, with Breda, Fury, and Falman opposite. She sat at Roy's left hand--once, he would have put her at his right, but now, she was the single one of these soldiers Roy most trusted to have on his blind side.
Not that the rest weren't good men, but some of them were liable to play tricks on him if they thought they could get away with it.
Havoc said, "Sorry I couldn't get any strippers on such short notice, but Armstrong sends this." He set a bronze statuette of a half-nude Armstrong, muscles rippling, on the table.
"Thank you," said Roy, feeling oddly touched.
"Thought you'd appreciate that," Havoc said, sounding smug.
"He couldn't come himself?" Roy asked curiously.
"He said he needed to speak with one of Mrs. Hughes--sorry, Mrs. Mustang's--brothers," Breda answered, grinning.
"Comparing biceps with Hubert again?" Roy asked, valiantly not looking his shoulder to check.
"No, the other one," said Breda. "Said the guy needed some guidance, or something."
Roy gave that a moment's thought and said, "Thank you, Breda, that may be the best news I've heard all day."
Breda and the rest looked at him curiously, but Roy declined to enlighten them on that matter. Havoc said, "Come on, what do we have to do to get you talking? We've got bets to settle!"
Roy considered, then decided some Dutch courage was in order. "Alcohol might help."
"Right-o, get the jaws greased, so to speak," said Havoc.
"I've got a bottle of the champagne," Fury offered.
Not quite what Roy usually chose to remember Maes with, but he said, "That'll do. Pop it, Sergeant."
Fury did, and someone produced champagne flutes, which Fury filled for everyone except Roy, who took the bottle away from him and up-ended it directly into his mouth. After a long, fizzy drink, Roy burped and asked, "All right, what do you lot want to know?"
"Were you having an affair with her?" Breda asked eagerly. "You know, before?"
Before, when it would have been an affair, rather than a friend comforting a grieving widow, or however they imagined it. "Yes," Roy said slowly.
There were groans all around, including an admonishing "Sir," from Falman and a heartbroken "You wouldn't," from Fury. Havoc's groan appeared to be related purely to the thickness of his wallet, however, as he was counting out a large stack of bills for Breda.
"And no," Roy continued pleasantly. He turned his head in Hawkeye's direction--not enough to see her, just enough to be clear that he was addressing her. "Is it an affair if her husband is present the whole time?" he asked.
"I believe the term you're looking for is 'ménage à trois,' sir," Hawkeye said coolly.
Roy tried to remember what he knew of Gallic. "I did not set up house with them," he answered. "As much as they wanted me to."
"But does that count or doesn't it?" Breda protested.
"Not a chance," Havoc said, sweeping his money off the table. To Roy, he said, "So--you never really broke up with him, then."
Roy swallowed some more champagne. "Oh, yes, I did," he said. "It didn't stick, but I damn well tried to."
"I understand, sir," Havoc said, clapping him on the shoulder. "He could be pretty stubborn."
"You were involved with Brigadier General Hughes?" Falman asked.
Was that a note of regret in his voice? Oh, Falman, thought Roy. So proper. Betting with his office mates was the only vice they'd ever talked him into, and now it was biting him in the ass. Roy nodded solemnly. "Since he was a damn lieu." He drank fondly to Hughes's memory.
"I told you," Havoc crowed. "Fork over!"
Falman, Breda, and, to Roy's surprise, even Hawkeye passed money across the table to Havoc. Falman and Breda managing to miss that, Roy could believe, but Hawkeye? She'd been there at the time. Had it really been that invisible? "I don't know whether to laugh or cry at that," Roy said honestly.
Hawkeye took the bottle away from him, which was nearly empty at this point anyway. "Better to stop at maudlin, sir," she told him kindly.
Roy knew he should have eaten breakfast.
There was a tug at Roy's uniform tails. He half-turned in his seat, and saw Alicia there, in the blue dress like her mama's, an orchid and a forget-me-not still tucked behind her left ear. "Hey there," Roy said, lifting her up on his lap. "How are you?"
Alicia hugged him and looked shyly at the rest of the table. Come to think of it, it was pretty amazing she'd come over on her own--she'd been pretty quiet since her papa died. Roy kissed her temple.
"Mama said you all knew my papa," Alicia said.
And who would have thought the little girl would be braver than all the big soldier boys. They all shifted uncomfortably, trying to come up with something to say. "We were just talking about him," Roy told her. "I wish he were here."
"Me, too," Alicia whispered, hugging him.
"I miss him," Roy confessed. Havoc was hissing, "Sir, sir," but Roy didn't pay him any mind. "I loved him... so much."
Damn, that champagne could sneak up on you. It pretended to be light and bubbly, but it was deadly. The rational corner of Roy's mind knew Alicia wouldn't mind what he'd said, and that was the important thing, but he also knew he'd just scandalized his men, saying that in front of her.
Havoc, though, might just have been worried about matters financial again. "Sh--darn it, sir," he said, counting from his ill-gotten gains. He pushed the money over to Fury.
"Havoc?" Roy asked, blinking.
"Sorry, sir, I thought it was--purely physical," Havoc said. Just sex, he would have said, if Alicia wasn't on Roy's lap. "I didn't realize it was true love."
Roy turned his head to center Fury in his field of vision. "Fury?"
"But it was so obvious!" Fury burst out. "All those phone calls..."
"That always ended because the colonel hung up on him!" Havoc pointed out.
"Whenever Papa said you should get married," Alicia said.
Havoc turned and stared. "That was what you were yelling at him for?"
Roy smiled and said, "Silly man, trying to get me to marry someone else. What on earth was he thinking?"
At this point, it was possible that Roy was purposefully scandalizing them for his own enjoyment. They did make such amusing faces.
"You see?" Fury said to Havoc. "And all those secret reports--symbols of devotion!"
"Loyalty!" Havoc answered. This seemed to be a fairly well-rehearsed argument. Roy wondered how often they'd had it. "Loyalty," Havoc repeated. "It can happen without falling in love!"
Fury gave Havoc a hurt look, then looked to Roy pleadingly.
"It's all right, Cain," Roy said, "I love you, too."
Oh, the beautiful looks of shock. Roy slung his arm around Havoc's shoulder, purely because Havoc was in range, and declared, "I love you all. You've been so good to me..."
From his left, Hawkeye said stoically, "Yes, sir. We love you, too. Perhaps you'd like to go sit with your wife for a while."
"Hm," said Roy, even though he was still leaning on Havoc, because it was fun. "I think Hawkeye's idea may have some merit. What do you think, little lady?"
Alicia nodded. "Can I ride on your shoulders?" she asked.
"I don't see why not," Roy said, picking her up as he stood.
"Sir, I'm not sure--" said Hawkeye.
"I'm not that toasted," Roy said. "Don't think I didn't see you keeping count."
"You didn't see me at all," Hawkeye reminded him patiently.
"And yet, you were keeping count, weren't you?" Roy asked. He got Alicia up on his shoulders at last. "Hold on, but careful of the patch, all right?" Alicia gripped his hair firmly. "And we're off. Fare thee well, gentlemen. Gentlelady." He turned his head enough to actually look at Hawkeye. She was sitting sideways in her chair, arm over the back, looking up at him. And smiling at him.
Roy and Alicia made it back to Gracie without tripping over anything or anyone, although there was a near miss with a waiter and a tray full of canapés.
Gracie was sitting with Joannie, and said to her, "See? I told you Alicia could get him back."
"Natural-born man-catcher, that one," said Joannie. "She's got those limpid green eyes of yours."
"Mm," said Gracie, her limpid green eyes sparkling with amusement. "How do you think he'll take it when she starts winking them at the other kids?"
"If that's any indication," said Joannie, gesturing up at him--at Alicia riding on his shoulders, Roy realized, "terribly. Papa's little girl all over again."
"That's how he courted me, you know," Gracie confided. "No candy or sonnets or flowers, just that he wanted to help out with Alicia."
"Well, I think that's romantic," said Joannie. "What do you think?" she asked. Roy opened his mouth to respond, but she continued, "Are you going to call Roy 'Papa' now, baby girl?"
Alicia went still on his shoulders. Roy looked up, even though he knew perfectly well he couldn't see anything from this angle. "You don't have to," he told her. "I know I'm not."
Alicia's hands held tighter to his hair. "Don't know," she said softly.
"No rush," he assured her.
"Troublemaker," Gracie said to Joannie. "Get out of here, you."
Joannie got up, saying, "I'd call you Papa." She kissed Roy on the cheek and patted Alicia's knee.
Gracie said, "Hands off, you've got your own!"
Joannie said, "But how will I ever satisfy myself with just one?" and groped his rear as she walked off.
Roy jumped and glared after her.
"Come sit down," said Gracie, patting Joannie's vacated seat. He did, Alicia still on his shoulders, and Gracie handed him a piece of cake. She said unrepentantly, "I got hungry, so I cut it without you."
"Mm," said Roy through a mouthful of frosting.
"Who won the bet?" Gracie asked.
Roy wondered who had told her. Hawkeye, maybe. They had gotten as thick as thieves during his convalescense, and Hawkeye had actually bet--although she'd bet wrong, which was confusing. Maybe she'd been trying to cover for him, convince everyone that blabbermouth Havoc was wrong. Yes, that was comforting. "Actually, I don't think anyone bet on my heart being big enough for all of them," Roy answered.
"Oh, dear," Gracie said mildly. "They're not all coming on the honeymoon, are they?"
"No," Roy said. "Just the three of us." He patted Alicia's shin where her leg hung against his chest. Alicia hugged his head, and Gracie leaned in to hug him around the middle.
"Don't expect me to be this mushy all the time," Roy said gruffly. "I had at least half a bottle of champagne."
"No excuse," said Gracie. "That stuff's all bubbles."
Later on, after the reception was over and most of the guests had shoved off, Hawkeye helped Roy get their luggage into the trunk of the car, while Gracie buckled a sleeping Alicia into the back. When Gracie had gotten into the driver's seat and Hawkeye and Roy had slammed the trunk shut (alas, without marring Havoc's soap scrawl of "Just Married" on the rear window), Hawkeye said, "Sir--she's yours, isn't she?" She nodded through the glass at Alicia, the top of her head just visible.
"No," Roy said.
Hawkeye looked startled. "But--" She stopped and bit her lip.
"I know what you're asking," Roy said. "But he was her father, and he'll always be her father."
Hawkeye nodded. "I understand, sir," she said.
Just before Roy got into the car, Hawkeye hugged him around the shoulders, quick and hard. She stepped back and saluted directly after. "Have a good trip, sir," she said.
"Thank you," said Roy, and saluted her in return.