Archive of Our Own ^beta

‘Aloha Ka Mea a Pau’ (Love Is All)

Steve paced a few steps back and a few steps away from the central computer table in the Five-0 headquarters, before flipping through a few criminal profiles of Salvatore Giovanni and his brother Luco Prametorri. And he threw Salvatore’s picture up on one of the overhead monitors. “It still doesn’t make sense. Let’s say he and Givanni really had a falling out and they retaliated on each other. It wouldn’t be this clean. It wouldn’t look this cut and dry.”

Danny sighed heavily, holding out his hands. “It happens all the time, especially in Jersey. Okay? These two guys go at it all the time and usually a falling out happens over something simple-” he reached out and put Geovase, Salvatore’s murdered ex-fiance - up on the screen. “She was having an affair with Giovanni’s right hand guy. Now Luco knew about it. In fact he hid the whole thing from Giovanni. The family was already divided down the middle between the Giovanni and Prametorri families from the start. It was a powder keg-”

“We know all that-” Steve interrupted.

Danny sighed louder. “Okay well I’m saying, this literally happens all the time. I don’t know whether they just get drunk on power, bored, or who knows what happens when you get all that money on your hands. But it wasn’t exactly cut and dry either.”

“Yeah…” Chin said. “I wouldn’t exactly call two gang wars over territory and a stack of bodies down at the morgue cut and dry. They really did a number on each other before we put a stop to it.”

“And we did.” Kono said.

“I don’t know.” Steve shook his head. Something in his gut was telling him that the picture, even if it was a messy one, was too put together. Too assembled. And he couldn’t shake the feeling. It should be a case closed. They’d done a good job all around but…

“Will you-” Danny reached up and squeezed the bridge of his nose. “Will you please stop saying that.”

“Danny I don’t know. It doesn’t feel right-” Steve argued but he stopped mid-sentence, catching Danny’s wince. The man actually made a quiet sound of pain and reached for his back, hunching over slightly where he stood. “You all right?”

Danny was already waving off their concern, “Yeah no I’m fine. Just a back thing. Forget about it.”

Steve saw Kono exchange a glance with him out of his periphery but Steve’s eyes were solely on Danny. His partner’s expression was pinched in pain and he looked weary, maybe even a little pale.“You sure you’re okay?”

“’m fine.” Danny reiterated firmly. “Now let’s just-” he waved to the overhead monitors as he rubbed at his back with a hand.

Chin slowly took his eyes away from Danny, meeting Steve’s eyes. It took a minute to pull his own concerned eyes away from his partner. “We’ll go over it, one more time.” Chin offered. “Just to be sure.”

“Yeah we trust your instincts boss.” Kono smiled.

Steve smiled himself but Danny just grunted. “I wish your instincts would take a break. Come on Steve, it’s going on six and I’m starving. I told Grace I’d pick her up for late Chinese. She loves it when we do that.”

“Okay.” Steve relented easily enough. Something was off about Danny and Steve had a nagging suspicion that it was something else, other than back pain. “Let’s uh…” he looked back to his team. “Let’s pick this up in the morning okay?” And after a nod from Chin and a word of agreement from Kono, Steve headed for the door. “Come on Danny. Let’s go pick up Grace.”

He didn’t exactly give Danny a choice in whether he was going or not. They’d been dating for a few months now, after finding out Danny’s closely guarded secret about transitioning from female to male years ago. To Steve, it hadn’t changed a thing. He’d been shocked but when it came right down to it - he had fallen in love for Danny for who he was and nothing had changed in that respect. Danny hadn’t changed, Steve wasn’t going to change anything either.

When they’d first just been friends, he’d gotten close to Grace too. Danny had opened up that part of his life to Steve and he hadn’t taken that lightly. Most of Danny’s defenses had begrudgingly given after that too. Grace and Danny had an especially close bond and he loved her more than Steve had seen most fathers ever love their children. It was touching. And in respect, knowing how Grace was such a vulnerable piece of Danny, Steve easily got protective of the two of them. He’d ended wanting to take care of them both. Make sure they were all right, and definitely never completely isolated and alone like Danny had been.

And now Steve was trying to take apart what was bothering Danny. He was definitely in pain and Steve for no reason that could be logical, felt like it wasn’t the man’s back. And Danny talked a lot. But getting something out of Danny about himself was a little bit of a different story. And maybe Steve wasn’t exactly an open book either, pot meet kettle, but he acknowledged that.

They talked like they usually did. Steve liked the privacy of Danny’s Camaro. He could say things he couldn’t usually when it was just the two of them. He could reach out and touch if he felt like it. Sometimes, after a particularly long shift and he was tired and it was late, Steve liked to reach over and rest a hand on Danny’s upper thigh. Sometimes, even as tired as they might be, that led to other things.

But Steve felt like Danny was off. The conversation was off. Danny wasn’t running his mouth with his usual ease. It took some prompting. It was a bit biting at times. And tired at others. He’d swing back and forth and in the middle, were some normal responses here and there. So normal that Steve could almost forget that something was obviously wrong.

They took Grace to her favorite Chinese restaurant and Danny brightened up around her. But that fatigue was there. Steve was tired too. It had been a long day and an equally long case, and a rough one too. And it might not even be over. But there was just something… off. Especially how Danny not once, but twice, got up to go to the bathroom. Steve didn’t think he was sick but something was definitely up.

Danny didn’t seem to want to give Grace back. And Steve honestly hated this part. But it seemed particularly bad this time around. Danny carried Grace all the way to the front door, his daughter dozing in his arms. And Steve stayed by the car but when Danny seemed to be exchanging some words with his ex-wife, Steve wandered over to see what was wrong. Stan had apparently offered to take Grace and Danny hadn’t been willing. Rachel didn’t seem to be helping the situation either and Steve wouldn’t have interfered but Grace was stirring against Danny’s shoulder and dammit this just wasn’t fair. “Just let him take her upstairs.” he intervened in what he tried to keep a strictly diplomatic tone or in this case, a tone he reserved for hostage situations. “We’ll only be a second.”

Danny might have sent Steve a grateful look but he did his best to hide.

Stan met Steve’s eyes, more or less just looking concerned - he wasn’t a bad guy - and let them in. “Sure, of course. No need to cause a scene.”

Rachel didn’t appear as happy about it and Steve gave her a look he tried to keep neutral but he wasn’t sure he succeeded as he followed Danny into the sprawling estate house.

And maybe he hovered. Steve did try to give Danny space once they got to Grace’s room on the second floor. He lingered by the door, jaw tightening as he watched Danny lovingly lay his daughter back on the bed. It just wasn’t fair. He wouldn’t slight Rachel, out loud, but Danny seemed to be the more loving parent. And the more natural parent too. Grace was his Achilles heel. And for Rachel to take that away from Danny to such a degree… ‘not fair’ was the lightest of statements Steve could levy.

He wasn’t going to judge Danny by who he’d been. Because Danny wasn’t a woman. He couldn’t judge him hormonally either because Danny was all male on that front too. But Steve wondered if that had someone affected or made that bond between Danny and Grace that much stronger. It almost seemed like. Danny edged from paternal to something more maternal. But maybe even that was an unfair gender assumption. That would suggest that only women could get this close to their children.

Danny said something to Grace, laying a hand on her stomach, and giving her a smile. He told her they had to go and Steve gave Grace a warm smile when her eyes met hers. Dammit this wasn’t easy on him. Steve couldn’t grasp what this did to Danny. Not even a little bit.

Danny was uneasily quiet on the way back to his apartment, which he told Steve to take him to. Steve didn’t really want to leave Danny alone but did as he asked. Taking him to his apartment didn’t mean leaving him alone. He had a few changes of clothes at Danny’s. Danny kept food he liked to eat, even though Steve bought it. He left money for him and Danny didn’t argue.

Danny had an elbow resting on the door and his fingers rubbing at his nose and the space between his eyebrows, staring out the window as the city blurred past. He’d taken giving back Grace particularly hard and Steve was just about to reach out when Danny did it for him. He held out his hand, gesturing for Steve to take it.

Steve did so, immediately, and Danny pulled their hands onto his leg - almost into his lap. And he just held on.

Steve’s heart flipped a little in his chest and through his own worry, he watched Danny with no small amount of loving concern in his eyes. “You okay partner?” he murmured quietly.

Danny just nodded and it was an effort at least.

Steve left it at that but he was shocked when Danny didn’t let him stay at the apartment. And maybe he looked just as shocked because Danny wouldn’t meet his eyes. Steve was actually going to say it hurt. They couldn’t get all co-dependent were Danny’s exact words. It was a little offensive too for some strange reason. Steve didn’t 'hover' exactly. He just wanted to be nearby… a lot of the time. Protectively he reasoned. Lovingly. And Danny had never given any indication of being smothered. The opposite actually. But tonight was a surprise.

“G’night, Steve.” was all Danny said and usually there’d be a kiss. Hell Danny wouldn’t have shut him out like this in any other circumstance. But here was doing it. And in a few short seconds, Steve was staring at a closed door in shock. Almost angry, Steve didn’t want to leave Danny alone the way he was and he shouldn’t. But Danny was effectively shutting him out.

Breathing out a sigh through his nose, Steve pivoted on his heel and stalked back for his truck - to drive back to his house.

Steve didn’t sleep well. If he wasn’t thinking about the case, he was thinking about Danny. And back and forth again. His dreams weren’t honestly pleasant. If he ever had a nightmare, Danny was usually there, pushing right past his walls stubbornly like he had a tendency to do. Those were rare, the nightmares. Tonight his dreams were just unpleasant.

He woke up to a text from Danny. Sick. Stay away --6:09AM

Steve sat up, frowning, and staring at his cell phone. Maybe Danny had been sick last night. Obviously he’d gotten it wrong, probably thrown off by his back pain. And without thinking, he texted right back. Be right over. What do you need? Flu or cold? -- 6:11AM

He didn’t get a response right away. And calling didn’t get him an answer. Steve was already getting ready for work with the idea that he’d come over regardless, assess the situation, and make sure Danny didn’t need anything. He’d opt to be on Grace duty too, in case Rachel needed Danny to do anything. But as he was getting out of the shower, he got another text.

I’m fine. Stay away. --6:32AM

Steve lowered his phone and sighed, frustrated. Well - it wasn’t like he’d ever listened before. But as if Danny had read his mind over the distance, Steve’s phone vibrated in his hand. And the text from Danny read. Seriously. Come over and I will punch you. --6:35AM.

Steve almost rolled his eyes and laughed through his own frustration. “You’ll just have to punch me, Danny.” he said under his breath and reached for his clothes to finish getting ready. He was already informing Chin and Kono in an email that Danny was out sick and to pursue the otherwise closed case. And on the way out the door, Steve was accepting a call from the governor to explain his reasoning. And she agreed with his instincts, allowing him to pursue it despite the risks to her own perceived judgment. Which he appreciated.

By 0700 Steve was knocking on Danny’s door, a paper sack in hand. The man had to give. Steve knew Danny didn’t have cold and flu medicine. People were fairly healthy in the climate of Hawaii and the cold and flu season was light and fleeting. Danny wouldn’t punch him because, well he just wouldn’t - they’d worked that out a long time ago - and two, because Steve was going to bribe him with medication. A fair trade.

Steve didn’t expect Danny to just not answer the door at all. “Danny this is ridiculous!” he called out. “Open the door Danny.”

And when he didn’t get a response, Steve wasn’t opposed to some light and loving threatening. “I will kick this door down! You know this. I probably can’t even help myself-”

The door opened quickly and Danny didn’t look happy. And he didn’t look sick either. Not exactly. He was a little pale, wearing light gray sweat pants with ‘Jersey’ emblazoned on the side in athletic print and a tank top. But mostly he didn’t look amused. And not obviously like a sick person. Especially not sick enough to call in to work.

Steve gave him a ‘you’re caught’ look and Danny sighed loudly, dropping his shoulders and closing his eyes. “I should have known there wasn’t a place on this planet I couldn’t hide from you. I should have known.”

“Oh you’re hiding from me now, too?” Steve returned.

“Jesus Steve-” Danny reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Are you going to let me in?” Steve pressed, he could be just as stubborn, and declared that he wouldn’t move until Danny let him in. Kicking the door open if he shut in his face wasn’t out of the picture either. “And are you going to be straight with me about whatever is going on or do I have to just keep yelling at you from out here-?”

Danny was already moving out of the way but he wasn’t walking easily and suddenly he bent over, grasping onto the small island counter that was practically a foot from his bed, expression that of pain. He even looked winded.

Steve quickly and immediately set the sack down that he’d brought and reached out for Danny. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. Danny what’s wrong?” he asked, putting a hand on the man’s back and the other hand on his arm, squeezing. Ready to support him if necessary or shove him back into the bed. Or the bathroom? He still wasn’t sure which.

“Steve you… dammit Steve things are great between us. Amazing, incredible and-” Danny, using his hands to move around the counter to a bar stool, sat heavily down onto it. “I don’t want to ruin that, okay? Please don’t make me ruin that.”

And those blue eyes were so earnest, so intent, that Steve struggled for words for a moment. “Danny I don’t understand.”

“It…” Danny glanced at the door and Steve quickly moved to shut it.

Danny let out a quiet breath after it was closed. “Danny I’m fine. I just need a day. And I don’t want to talk about it. Please, I’m actually begging you. Look at me. I am begging you-” And he was begging, the look in his eyes making Steve swallow heavily. “Do not make me explain right now okay? Not right now because dammit I think I love you and-”

Steve’s heart actually did skip a beat and he almost immediately blurted out that he loved Danny too.

“I can’t lose you.” Danny finished. “So please.”

Steve was almost, almost about to agree and opened his mouth to say something. But his eyes caught on something by the bed. A heating pad. That was plugged in and turned on to max. And he drew in a breath, trying to figure that out. “Danny you…” Danny still had ovaries and a uterus. Steve wasn’t going to call them female parts because they belonged to Danny. “You said that we needed to use condoms and we do.” That had to mean that the hormones hadn’t made Danny sterile… but there was no way they hadn’t shut down everything else. Danny had been on hormones for years.

Danny was watching him quietly and Steve just knew… he just knew then. “I thought… I thought that all stopped after hormone therapy.”

“Yeah…” Danny spoke up quietly and he looked exhausted. “It’s supposed to. It’s really supposed to. But every few months or so I…” And he looked a little defeated, eyes falling down to the counter, unable to look at Steve in the eye or meet his gaze. “They almost stopped but I… after Grace I guess my body didn’t get the memo. It was like ‘oh you weren’t actually serious were you’.”

Steve had the sudden, crazy and maybe irrational thought that maybe Danny had even carried Grace. But he was guessing not. But he internally argued it could explain their closer than average bond. Steve immediately dismissed the idea though and let this new piece of information settle. And it actually, legitimately felt awful that Danny thought this would cause Steve to just walk away. His heart ached and he rounded the island counter and put a hand on his partner’s arm. To argue against that, to tell him the exact opposite was true. But Danny let out a sudden breath and actually groaned, what he couldn’t bite down on anyway. “Dammit.” he cursed quietly, partially turning from Steve and grabbing onto the counter in a white knuckle grip.

Cramps, Steve realized all at once. Danny had cramps.

“Ooh easy, easy baby-” Steve murmured, low and gentle, reaching out without thought and putting a hand on Danny’s lower abdomen. “Front or back?”

“Both.” Danny just through gritted teeth.

“All right don’t move. Just breathe. Breathe for me.” Steve coaxed, running a hand down his arm - up and down, the other resting warmly on Danny’s stomach. “It’ll pass. And then we’ll get you back into bed.”

“I don’t -” Danny hunched away from him a little bit more, like he was trying to hide himself. “I don’t honestly deserve you-”

“Hey, hey-” Steve interrupted, almost angrily. He wouldn’t have any of that. “Don’t you say that.”

“I won’t blame you if-”

“No.” Steve said firmly. “This doesn’t change a damn thing. Now just breathe. Breathe through it.”

It honestly didn’t change a thing. Again, he’d fallen for Danny before he’d known all this. Danny was no different of a person, despite whatever parts he may have. To suddenly decide not to love Danny not for who he was, but for what he was made of physically, was an upsetting and disturbing idea. And Steve wouldn’t have any of it. Maybe other people, he could understand. If they were gay and Danny… he didn’t like to think it. But Steve went both ways and honestly he didn’t judge easily or quickly. Danny was Danny. And that was enough for him.

“Aloha ka mea a pau.” Steve said, the thought coming to him suddenly, even if Danny wouldn’t know what it meant. He’d teach him.

“What…” Danny frowned. “What?”

“It’s a little complicated but it mostly means ‘love is all’.” Steve said. “It means love is… love is the entire package. Love isn’t just one thing. It’s not even the sum of the parts. It’s all the parts put together. And Danny I love you just like that sounds. Love is ‘all’ to me Danny. All of you.”

Danny got real quiet and went still all over. And it looked like he was even fighting back tears. He was tense right down to his toes and his eyes were welling up. Steve just held onto him, not wanting to overwhelm him further but dammit he looked at Danny like for all the world he wanted Danny to see himself like Steve did. He loved him so much he could hardly put words to it.

And Danny sucked in a quiet, involuntary breath. “Gotta teach me out to say that because I love all of you too.”

Steve wrapped an arm around Danny’s shoulders, chest tightening with love, and leaned close, pressing close to Danny - as close as he could. “I will.” he promised. Never, never had a string of words ever meant so much to Steve as they did right now. So he’d absolutely teach them to Danny.

Danny reached over and took his hand, squeezing it. “I never thought…” For a moment he looked too emotional to continue but he pulled in a breath and tried again. “I never thought there was anyone in the world like you. Who would… who would accept all of this.”

“Aloha ka mea a pau.” Steve murmured again, quietly, resting his head against Danny’s - but not before pressing a kiss into blonde hair and the top of Danny’s head. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

Danny gave his hand another squeeze. “Right back at you.” And it sounded like a quiet oath. A pledge. And Steve could relate because he felt a lot of the same. They were partners in more than just a badge. And that just drove what they had deeper. Damn straight it was an oath they’d uphold.

“Can you walk if I help you back to the bed?” Steve asked after a moment. “This bar stool can’t be comfortable.”

Danny grunted. “It’s not.” And he nodded. “Yeah just… easy.”

“You got it.” Steve promised him and upheld that promise. Keeping an arm tucked around Danny’s waist, he had to lean over to support him, helping him back over to the bed. Which was fortunately in Danny’s small studio apartment - an easy walk and not a far one. Although it might not have been easy.

Danny immediately pulled the heating pad close, and Steve rubbed a hand over his leg, near his hip. He sat back on his heels beside the bed, covering Danny’s wrist with his other hand. “Is it usually this bad?”

“No.” Danny let out a quiet breath of pain. “It’s been five months though. It all kinda gets worse when that happens. When it goes a long time before-” he grunted, eyes falling closed, pressing his face further into the pillows he had under an arm. “Fuck, shit. You know. Dammit-”

“Easy, easy-” Steve coaxed him through another round of cramps and then reached out for his hands. “You need anything? Do you have everything here?”

“No.” Danny winced, lighter blue eyes meeting Steve’s. “I could uh…”

“Supply run?” Steve asked, briefly nodded to the door. “Tell me what you need. Name it.”

“I could uhm…” Danny opened an eye, fixing Steve with a wary look. “Seriously?”

“Do I look serious?”

Danny briefly narrowed his eyes at him and then relaxed with a quiet grunt. “Yep. That’s the serious face. Uh… okay yeah. I could desperately go for a quart or two of chocolate ice cream - shit. Chocolate anything. Some shrimp ramen noodles-”

Steve gave him an admittedly surprised look and Danny actually breathed a quiet laugh. “Yeah.” he said, voice still a little strained with pain and exhaustion. “Don’t tell me how weird that is, because I know. Uh…”

“Midol?” Steve suggested. “Do you have pads or do you use tampons?”

Danny stared at him in mute shock. And honestly his expression was pretty priceless. “You’ve done this before.”

“Yeah.” Steve laughed quietly. “But the look on your face was great-”

“Guess it was my turn.” Danny laughed, playfully shoving at him. But it barely moved Steve. And pulled a wince out of Danny. “No wrestling.”

“No wrestling.” Steve agreed with a chuckle but his tone was sympathetic, reaching around to rub Danny’s back. “So?”

“Tampons. Because uh…”

Steve drew the connection. “Because you can still wear your prosthetic.”

Danny nodded quietly. “Yeah I… I’ll write down the brand. I’m down to a box. I uh… I think that’s it. Midol yeah. The extra strength stuff.”

“You got it.” Steve said.

“Jesus Steve-” Danny gave him a baffled, loving look. “You - dammit you’re incredible.”

Steve just leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Danny’s forehead and smiled. “Anything else baby?” he murmured against his skin, rubbing Danny’s lower abdomen with the back of a hand and fingers.

“No that’s it. And-” Danny caught his arm, blue eyes meeting Steve’s intently. “I don’t know if I’ve said this before but I’ll probably say it a hundred times over before this is all over but thank you.”

Steve tipped his head at Danny, regarding him with a patient, loving gaze. “You’re welcome. And I love you.” Danny amazed him sometimes. Maybe Steve was rare, Steve knew as a person that there wasn’t a whole lot of people like him outside of the service. Police officers, people in similar positions, it was a mentality. He didn’t think it made him special. Steve just thought that it made him an individual specifically wired to get the job done. And maybe that made it easier for him to roll with the punches. Danny wasn’t even throwing him punches… anymore. Curve balls? Sure. But Steve could see the whole picture. And the whole picture was amazing. Danny was amazing.

Danny made a soft sound, reaching out, fingers brushing briefly over Steve’s chest. “Aw Steve I love you too.” But his expression was interrupted with a wince. “Ah… shit. That’s murder.” he said, closing his eyes tightly and reaching up to grab the pillow he was holding - the one under his head. “That is fucking-”

Steve eased his hand into Danny’s, separating his death grip he had on the pillow and transferring it to his hand instead, giving Danny something to hold onto that was warm and human and that loved him. “Hey, hey. Breathe-” Steve reminded him. “It’ll pass. Comes and goes right?”

“Mmhm.” Danny hummed through a bit of forced cheerfulness, eyes closed, but breathing through the pain like Steve had reminded him to do.

“Yeah you got this.” Steve murmured softly, watching Danny close.

After Danny’s cramps eased enough and passed so that Steve could have his hand back, he made sure his boyfriend was completely comfortable before running out for supplies. But the call Steve got wasn’t exactly surprising. Grace needed somewhere to go until seven and then Rachel would be picking her up later tonight. But that meant that they needed to keep her for a few hours after school. And Danny definitely wasn’t in any position to drive. Especially not two times around.

Steve assured Danny that he’d pick her up when the time came for it. And that he’d take her to school. Why Rachel couldn’t… Steve wasn’t going to go there. He was honestly surprised the kid didn’t have a personal driver.

“Why are you taking me to school early?” Grace asked him, as soon as she was buckled in to the passenger seat of the Camaro.

“Uh… well. Not too early.” Steve said, not sure just how much Grace knew about her father. They were incredibly close but he didn’t know exactly. Grace was only eight years old. “I just didn’t want to be late picking you up for school and I have to run and get some things for Danno.”

“What things?” Grace was happy this morning, coloring on something in her lap. She was also happily plunging into conversation without any hesitation.

“Well he’s just not feeling too well.” Steve added with a smile, glancing over at her from the driver’s side. “But it’s nothing we can catch. So I bet he’ll be happy to curl up with you and watch a movie after you get out of school.”

Grace put her hands on the dashboard and leaned up to get a better look out the windshield, at the passing buildings, and then pointed to a family market. “Stop here. Danno always buys things here.”

Steve frowned, confused. “What do you mean? What for?”

Grace just blinked at him like he might be stupid. “It’s the twentieth.” she held out her hand to count off her points on her fingers. “He’s not feeling good. But we can’t catch it. It’s the end of the month. It always happens at the end of the month.”

Steve was already pulling into the small market, surprised. “You know?”

Grace nodded and dropped her hands down, into her lap. “I’m not supposed to talk about it. But you know. You’re his boyfriend.”

“Yeah.” Steve smiled. And now it was turn to be amazed by Danny’s daughter. Those two just kept surprising him but in all the best ways, their bond was something else too. And they’d given Steve the feeling of something else, something pretty priceless. Family. Like the two had adopted him without much of a second thought.

“Come on.” Grace said, and she was reaching down for the passenger door. “I know what Daddy likes.”

Steve shook his head with a baffled smile and a laugh, pulling himself out of the car in near speechless wonder.

When he got back to Danny he must have still been smiling because Danny gave him a questioning look and a curious smile. “What…?” he asked as he padded over to the kitchen where Steve had set down the other sack of supplies he’d picked up. The cold and flu medication could stay. Danny didn’t have it anyway and it was better to be prepared than out of luck when they actually needed it.

“Your daughter.” Steve started setting out everything Grace had pointed out at the market and Danny followed the items with suddenly knowing eyes. And he smiled too.

“Ah… she caught onto you because you picked her up early. You know that kid, I’m hoping she doesn’t do what I do, but she might end up a good detective.” Danny chuckled. “Either that or I’m rubbing off on her.”

Steve nodded Danny back to the bed. “I promised her a movie after she got out of school too. I figured she’d more than earned it. Get back in bed.”

Danny relented easily enough and after settling his partner back in bed with a healthy dose of Midol and some chocolate milk - which Danny downed all in one shot, Steve settled behind Danny on the bed, spooning up close and holding the shorter man close from behind. The height difference, they made it work. By now they knew all the best ways to pretty much do everything and were comfortable in a few quick seconds.

And after a moment of silence, Danny reached up and gave the arm Steve had around his chest a squeeze. “Thank you.”

Steve was bracing himself to hear that a couple hundred times but he didn’t mind, quietly telling Danny ‘you’re welcome’ before reaching down to make sure the heating pad was secure around his lower abdomen. And then he pressed a kiss to the back of Danny’s head, settling back on the pillow and enjoying the feeling of his boyfriend in his arms.

Steve laid down with Danny for an hour before heading back to headquarters, diligently watching him close, rubbing his stomach or his chest - whichever felt best to Danny at the time. He worked through the full day, stopping at Danny’s to check up on him and to eat lunch. They laid out all the case files on the bed and ate Chinese and shrimp ramen noodles and talked about the case. The noodles were all for Danny, Steve was going to take him at his word that they were good. And they even managed to crack into the case. Steve had an arrest just before picking up Gracie and the world felt momentarily quiet and calm again. All fixed. Just how Steve liked it.

Danny was down with cramps again when Steve brought back Grace. He was curled up on the bed with the heating pad when they came back and Steve helped her onto the bed, lifting her up underneath the arms - and gently reminding her to take it easy.

“Hey princess.” Danny smiled. And just like that, much in Danny’s world was right just by his daughter being there. It made Steve glad today had worked out like it had. “Come here, tell me all about your day-”

“I was almost early for school. But I didn’t mind.” Grace said, folding her legs up underneath her after Steve took her back pack.

Danny smiled, raising an eyebrow at her and then Steve. “Yeah I heard. I also heard you helped Steve get me some things today. I appreciate that.”

“Did it help daddy?” Grace reached out for Danny’s stomach and Steve smiled, watching the two from the kitchen doorway.

“You bet it did.” Danny assured her, covering her smaller hand with his. “You did real good. But you always do baby. Daddy really appreciates it.”

Grace pulled her away, Danny laughing when she said the heating pad was hot. “Yeah it is. You remember that movie Steve promised you?”

Grace’s nod was an enthusiastic one and Steve pushed off from the doorway. “Ready to get that started?”

“Yes!” Grace smiled, throwing her hands up in the air.

Danny guided Steve through a few things with Gracie while the two got settled on the bed. Mac and cheese for Grace, her shoes were already off and by the door next to Steve and Danny’s. And the tactical boots, Grace’s school shoes which were tiny in comparison, and Danny’s usual dress shoes for work was a strangely emotional and amusing sight. It felt good. Right. Steve even couldn’t help but feel like a parent in some respects and he didn’t mind that either. He’d dated someone with children before. It was another thing that he rolled with and that Steve generally didn’t mind.

After dinner, Danny laid out on the bed, stretched out from one side to the other, with Grace in his arms - holding her against his chest while he was otherwise glued to the heating pad. They put in a movie, Rio and got through half of it before Grace got a little distracted. So they played Sorry instead, putting the board out on the bed - which Steve could swear, it dominated eighty five percent of the man’s apartment. And over a game pawn, Grace looked up at Steve and just blatantly said.

“If you marry Danno…” And she was really considering this too. “Instead of Uncle Steve, can I call you Papa Steve?”

Danny raised an eyebrow and smiled, looking from Grace to Steve. “Wow. That’s quite a promotion.”

Steve for a moment was even sure what to say. The kid had a mom, a dad, a step dad and somehow - had decided she had room in her heart to accept Steve in a big way. And it meant more than he could possibly express. And after a questioning look at Danny, who was just tiredly smiling at him for all the world like he was perfectly okay with it - even a little moved himself - Steve looked back to Grace. “Yeah.” he said. “I’d like that.”

The moment was interrupted a moment later by a quip from Danny. “Daddy Danno and… Papa Stevo?”

Grace opened her mouth in delighted shock, like it was a brilliant idea she’d already fallen in love with and Steve was laughing before he could stop himself. “Oh no. No-”

“Yeah. Then I can say to you for a change ‘book’em Stevo’!”

“No!” Steve laughed but not wanting to disappoint Grace, he gave her a wink. “That one is just for you.”

Grace seemed more than happy with that but Danny wasn’t willing to let it go so easy. “No that’s you getting off easy. You call me Danno. I get to call you Stevo-”
They lightly argued about it, Grace laughing and giggling at them both. But they were interrupted by a knock on the door. And the mood quieted a bit, soured maybe. Because it was time to give Grace back. Just like that.

Steve sympathetically reached out and put a hand on Danny’s leg, giving him a look. But he didn’t say anything because of Grace.

“Come on sunshine.” Steve said to Grace. “Let’s help you get ready to go.”

“I’ll get the door.” Danny sighed.

“You sure?” Steve asked. But it was Danny’s ex-wife and not his. What they had was between them and Steve, as much as he didn’t like to admit it, couldn’t protect Danny from that all the time. Sometimes, all he could be was the person he ran back to when she hurt him. And he’d always be that.

“Yeah, yeah I’m sure.” Danny said.

They saw Grace out, Danny told Grace he’d see her soon - for their weekend next week. Told his daughter to do her homework like she’d promised. Filled Rachel in on what Grace had eaten for supper. Steve bit his tongue when he heard Rachel’s dry remarks about the macaroni and cheese. Asking Danny if it had even come out of a box. Even if she was mostly joking, mostly, it was the condescending and disapproving part of it. And those little, needling jibes always ruffled Danny too and Steve detested that. Getting divorced was never easy. On any two people. But being with someone that was going through it… it wasn’t easy to keep his mouth shut.

But he did better some days, and others not to so much.

“Yeah Rachel this was a bit of a surprise.” Steve said to her, speaking up from where he stood near the kitchen. “But next time I’ll make something personally. Okay?”

That took the wind out of Rachel’s animosity and she nodded, looking from Steve back to Danny, and maybe she even looked a little apologetic. “See you later Danny.”

“Yeah right.” Danny said and didn’t hesitate the shut the door on Rachel as soon as she was gone. And then he turned to Steve. “Rachel?” he smiled teasingly.

“I uh…” Steve shifted on his feet a bit awkwardly. “I didn’t want to call her Mrs. Edwards in front of you.”

Danny considered that, grimacing a bit. And then he nodded. “Thank you. Thank you for that. Here I am, in the best relationship I’ve ever had in my life - madly in love with you I might add - and that still sets my teeth on edge. Like… like I’m reminded of how much I fucked up.” Danny’s anger, even through his fatigue, was a little sudden. But Danny could shift like that. Damn easy. “Like even her new last name still reminds me that I wasn’t-”

“Hey.” Steve frowned, unhappy at this turn. “You weren’t what?” he demanded.

Danny held out his arms, motioning briefly to his stomach. “Man enough?” he laughed. But it was a bitter sound.

“Man enough?” Steve repeated, stalking a few steps towards the man. “Excuse me? Danny you’re just as much of a man as I am-” When Danny moved to argue, Steve interrupted him. “No, oh no you don’t. You’re even more of a man by being such an amazing father to Grace. Danny you may not have been born with a dick naturally? But you’re already better and more of a man than a majority of them so oh no. There are assholes out there that don’t even get the right to call themselves a man. I know, you know. We arrest them Danny. We arrest some of the worst! So don’t even go there around me.”

Danny was staring at him, pale and speechless and so obviously overwhelmed that he might even be shaking. And Steve softened his voice considerably, his anger fading, dissolving to a simmering, intent plea for Danny to understand what he was saying. Because Steve had a boyfriend. He was dating a man and cliche and standards be damned. Danny redefined those standards. “Okay?”

Danny nodded, mutely and Steve made a soft sound - reaching out and putting a hand on Danny’s arm. “You’re my man, Danny.” Steve murmured, voice barely above a whisper. But it sounded as intent and possessive as he felt, protective.

Danny gestured for him to lean down and Steve went, right into the embrace Danny was pulling him into. And Danny gripped the back of his neck. “And you’re mine.” he said back.

Steve gripped Danny as close as he dared and nodded, breathing in the scent of his cologne and the smell of his hair. “Damn straight.”

The theory of hormones and Danny - as in what effect the could have on him - never really hit Steve until he was out in the middle of the jungles of Hawaii, trying to stop two paid assassins from taking out a witness in a high profile murder case. And he got a call, a call from Danny that easily told him a storm was about to break and that he was miles and miles away from - too far away to help Danny weather before he did something out of anger. All he had was the phone and that tenuous connection between them over those miles.

“Listen to me okay. I may not be able to see you but I can hear you…” Steve dug the heels of his boots into the mud and held the vines he had in his hands fast even as they threatened to slip. “-and you have a tone.”

“Tone? I don’t have a tone.” Danny said. In the exact tone that Steve was talking about.

“You say I have a face? You, you have a tone. Okay?” Steve took the phone in hand, grabbing it like he could just grab Danny. “And it’s a tone that says ‘I’m going to hit somebody’ - now what’s going on?”

When Danny broke down and explained, told him everything, Steve bit down sharply on his own concern. Because it was bad. Far worse than he thought. But Grace and Rachel were fine and right now, Steve had Danny on the line and he was the only thing that could make sure Danny was all right.

“Okay listen to me all right, I get that you’re pissed. All right? I can hear that. But whatever you do, do not touch him okay? Do not touch him.”

“Yeah I understand but you gotta understand that I’m a father. All right? And this is my daughter we’re talking about.”

Steve let out a quiet breath. “Danny, you need take a breath for me. You’re due in a week, right?” Estrogen had to be high enough to make a period happen. Danny was in the normal ranges of male hormones, had been his whole life, but he still had parts that produced estrogen. And sometimes, that bit Danny. And Steve knew from dealing with upset mothers when their children were in danger that estrogen could swing a person irrationally in a heartbeat. And that could either swing very heroically or very tragically.

Danny caught onto his meaning. But didn’t get offended. “Yeah it… yeah it is.”

“Okay. Danny listen-” Steve shifted, switching the phone to his other hand, “Think of where you’re at emotionally right now. You’re a cop. Danny you’re an incredible father too. And some of that comes from how much you love Grace. And right now, some of that comes from something you can’t control. You’ve seen it, I’ve seen it. High stress situations where you can’t talk a woman down from whatever has happened to her child because of-” Steve almost lost his grip and caught the vines, taking in a quick breath. “Because of those instincts, that bond. Don’t let it influence that temper of yours. Be a cop too.”

Danny let out a slow breath over the phone. “You’re right. Yeah you’re right. Just don’t worry about me please. I will handle it. Get your witness to court, okay?”

“No, no.” Steve said when he heard the line go down. “Hey, hey. Danny? Danny!”

Dammit.

Steve found Danny after court, after seeing said witness testify and standing right there and watching her do it - showing her that he wasn’t going to let a damn thing happen to her while he was there. He took a shower and changed into some clothes at his house. Danny seemed all right. Steve was relieved and proud of him for not losing his temper. Completely. A few reports were sketchy from the restaurant but no complaints had been filed.

But later that night, both drinking beer on a deserted, sandy beach - Danny surprised him with something. “Steve I need to ask you a favor and you know I wouldn’t. You know I wouldn’t ask lightly.” he said quietly.

“Yeah Danny. What is it?” Steve didn’t even have to give it thought.

“I think it’s time to get a full hysterectomy. Everything. And you could sign off on it. You’re my commanding officer. I could seal it away just like everything else.” Danny drew in a quiet, deep breath. “I carried Grace. I kept those parts because of the idea of having children and now that there’s just Grace-”

Danny must have noticed his expression because he stopped short and Steve couldn’t exactly cover himself. The thought of… all that Danny had said had brought him up short. They’d only been together for a few months. It hadn’t dawned on Steve until right then that they could do what most men in relationships couldn’t. But how could he phrase that without sounding selfish?

“What… what’s that look for?” Danny asked. And then he seemed to catch on. “Are you…”

Steve let out a breath. “Listen Danny it’s your choice. I would never pressure you to do anything, I wouldn’t. I just never realized, until right now, that unlike a lot of men who are in a relationship… we could have kids. Of our own. Without a donor.”

Danny closed his mouth around his shock. “Steve are you… are you saying you’d think of having kids with me?” he asked quietly. But he didn’t sound upset.

Steve met his eyes with his own, desperate to convey that it was Danny’s choice. “Danny it’s your body, it’s your say. If you’re not comfortable continuing like this, I would never blame you.”

“Well just…” Danny smiled briefly. “-just help me out here because I need to hear it.”

“Yeah Danny I…” Steve’s chest tightened at the thought and his stomach felt tight too but not in a bad way. It was a lot like stepping off a cliff but knowing there would be a net. And he reached out and took Danny’s hands in his own, first taking away his beer and setting it down by his own at their feet. The situation just screamed a need for some more closeness. “Yeah Danny I would have children with you. I’ve thought of it, in the future. I was so busy with my career that I never even thought of a relationship to tell you the truth.” And he smiled. “But then you came crashing into my life.”

“Wouldn’t say crashing.” Danny smiled. “That came later.”

“Yeah.” Steve chuckled quietly, warmly. But he gave Danny’s hands a squeeze. “Hell yeah I’d start a family with you Danny. Kinda feels like we have a gift, a rare opportunity most don’t have. If you feel differently I will one hundred percent respect that.”

“No.” Danny squeezed Steve’s hands right back. “No Steve that’s why, so many years ago, I kept all my parts. Because yes we could start a family together and… I. I can’t think of anything I’d want to give you more than that. And if I can? Yeah, yeah Steve I wouldn’t take that away from either of us.”

Steve leaned in and captured Danny’s lips with his own, deeply, with all the love he could convey. He would never take Danny's ability to have their children lightly. Danny was a man and that probably wasn't easy on him at all. He'd suggested that with Grace. And while Danny had made peace with his parts, society was still rocky. They'd have a lot to face down if they wanted a family but they could have a family. And while it might be a while before they thought of it, life was suddenly a lot more open and suddenly a lot more bright. In ways Steve could have never imagined.

FIN