Chapter Text
“I still have your scarf.”
That was the text Jounouchi received eleven days later, halfway through his lunch break. He decided not to respond. He heard nothing else until the next day.
“Come get it.” A pause, then another message. “KaibaLand Aquarium. Tomorrow. 9 PM.” Jounouchi was in the middle of tapping out a response asking why he should have to pay to get his stuff back (and maybe he was busy anyway) when a third message came through, one from a number he didn’t recognize.
A registration code for the ticket booth.
He meant it.
The aquarium apparently closed at 7 on Sundays. In a sense, that made it easier. Jounouchi expected to meet Kaiba outside, get the scarf, and leave. After all, they couldn’t really talk in such a public place.
Instead, Kaiba headed for a side door. Jounouchi stood back awkwardly and watched him swipe a card key. Inside was a void, quiet and still. If there were staff left in the building, Jounouchi didn’t see them.
Kaiba drew him through the halls, passed through a rope barrier, and waited, hook in hand. It took Jounouchi a second to realize that he was supposed to follow in spite of the “Employees Only” sign hanging from the rope. Here, both walls offered a view into false oceans where tiny schools of fish flickered and swirled against the water. Jounouchi slowed and looked up, face cast in mottled blue light.
“This wing is newly constructed,” said Kaiba, matter of fact. “There isn’t much here.”
Even empty, it was beautiful. “You guys ever get penguins?”
Kaiba glanced back, eyes narrowed, but said nothing. Instead, he took a seat on a velvet-covered bench, reached into his pocket, and tossed the neatly folded scarf at Jounouchi. It ribboned out and crumpled as he caught it.
Jounouchi sank down beside him, scarf in his lap. “So… you didn’t freeze to death.”
“No.”
“Or die of exhaustion. Or crash your stupid blimp into a building.”
“As you can see, I’m alive and well.”
“‘Well’ is debatable. How have you been sleeping?”
“… badly.”
Jounouchi wasn’t used to this level of honesty. He coughed softly and said, “I thought I told you to get some rest.”
“As if I take orders from you.”
Jounouchi ran his fingers over the scarf. It felt softer than before. Bringing it to his nose, he inhaled. “Did you wash this? Or have it washed, I should say.”
Kaiba’s shoulders rose a fraction of an inch. The gesture could barely be called a shrug. “It’s polite, isn’t it?”
Jounouchi shot him a crooked smirk. “Never known you to be polite to me before.”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
Jounouchi continued to turn the scarf over in his hands. Its pale blue color seemed at home in a world of silence and water. “You could have just given it to Mokuba.”
“That... would have been the most sensible thing to do.”
“And you didn’t... because?”
He almost thought Kaiba wasn’t going to respond. Finally, he said, “Because I can make selfish demands, too.”
Jounouchi flushed. “Normally when people make demands they have a reason.”
“Maybe I do.”
Jounouchi let his head settle on Kaiba’s shoulder, experimental. “You’re probably just so tired you’re not yourself.”
“And what’s your excuse?”
The fact that Kaiba was allowing this only made Jounouchi’s face grow hotter. “Do I need one? I’m pathetic. You’re stubborn. I am too, for that matter. It makes us do stupid shit sometimes. The end.”
Kaiba paused. “You think you’re pathetic?”
“Heh. Thought you’d be the first to agree.”
“Just surprised to hear it coming from your mouth.”
Jounouchi sighed. “I am, though. I’m looking for something that just isn’t here.”
Kaiba touched his cheek, hesitant, as if Jounouchi were an illusion his touch would dispel.
“… Kaiba?”
Kaiba just shook his head, but their lips touched, and the tension in him snapped. He pressed against Jounouchi and kissed him with a deep and searing hunger, and Jounouchi understood. He was never supposed to see this. He held Kaiba tight until the desperate kiss ended. When he pulled back, wide-eyed, Jounouchi wondered if he had ever kissed someone before – or if he had ever kissed someone like that.
The pang of pride was cut short when Kaiba jumped, eyes wide, and wrenched out of Jounouchi’s grasp. “Not here,” he hissed. “Someone might- not here.” He grabbed Jounouchi’s sleeve, and he allowed himself to be led for a few steps. Kaiba let go, and he followed on his own.
The final destination lay behind another “Employees Only” sign. Jounouchi stepped into the room, Kaiba flicked a switch, and Jounouchi rubbed his eyes as fluorescent light assaulted them. A key jangled in a lock, and Kaiba came into focus through furious blinking. Apparently this room was too forgotten for a technological upgrade – of any sort. It contained only a small, hard sofa, a gray plastic table, and six matching chairs.
“So,” said Jounouchi, perching on the table. “What was that for?”
“I don’t know,” Kaiba said. “Because I understand.”
“I don’t...”
“Looking for something that isn’t there.”
“… oh,” said Jounouchi. Just “oh.” But it was enough.
Kaiba turned. “Don’t. Don’t try to analyze me.”
“No. I get it now. And if it were just me you were avoiding, maybe it wouldn’t have bothered me,” Jounouchi said, though they both knew better. “A lot of people cared about you. Yuugi-”
“Enough!”
“Kaiba?”
Kaiba lowered his head. His words were faraway, plumbed from the depths of an unfathomable ocean. “I don’t want to talk about Yuugi.”
“I… I’m sorry.”
“About what?”
Jounouchi touched his shoulders. They quivered. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t care. I don’t need…” Kaiba was interrupted by hands on his shoulders and then around his waist. Another awkward embrace, but nothing accidental about it. He frowned.
“It’s okay if you miss him. I miss him.” Jounouchi’s cheek burned against Kaiba’s, and Kaiba laughed, hollow as a box from which an incalculable treasure had been stolen. Jounouchi squeezed tighter. He didn’t know how else to speak.
“This,” said Kaiba, carefully measuring his words, “isn’t an emotion that can be put into words. I’m not like you – and I don’t mean that in the way that you’ve come to expect. There’s nothing you can do to fix this.”
“You don’t have to have words. I don’t think I can fix it, either. I just… want to be here.”
Kaiba closed his eyes. “You are so fucking innocent.”
Jounouchi thought a lot of things about himself, but “innocent” wasn’t one of them. He shook his head. “Doesn’t sound like you know me that well.”
“You think I don’t? That was just child’s play, Jounouchi. You changed.”
Jounouchi gritted his teeth. “I did,” he whispered. “I did change.”
“You think there’s so much good left in the world – in everyone. Just like there was in you.”
“And you’re saying there’s none in you,” Jounouchi replied, as if Kaiba were trying to convince him that Santa Claus was not only real but standing right behind him, sack bursting with gifts for the good little boys and girls (among whose ranks Kaiba was surely not counted).
“Jounouchi, sometimes I think there’s nothing left in me.”
“That’s not… fucking… true.” The burning gaze Jounouchi fixed Kaiba with made him straighten. He put his hands on either side of Kaiba’s face. “It’s not, and you know it. You are Kaiba Seto. The Kaiba Seto. It pisses me off just thinking about it. So don’t- don’t give up on yourself like that.”
“Of course I am,” Kaiba snapped, “and I’m not giving up. I’m just not sure what you thought you would find here.”
Jounouchi considered. “I don’t know anymore. I just want to see... the person you are now. If you’ll let me.” He swallowed, drifting closer. Kaiba didn’t meet him, didn’t shy away, only closed his eyes and waited. This kiss was softer, more halting. Jounouchi held so much back, but it was alright now. It was enough.
Kaiba let the kiss drag on, but when Jounouchi pressed against him, he braced a hand on his chest. “We’re not doing anything else.”
Jounouchi jerked away, crimson. “I wasn’t trying to!”
“So long as we’re clear.”
“Just because you’re hot-” Jounouchi clamped his jaw shut. He caught something almost like a smile at the corner of Kaiba’s lips. “Okay, I think we’re past the point of secrecy. I don’t know what you want out of this, but...”
Kaiba touched a finger to his lips. “I want you to let me think about it first. Anyway… I have to get back soon.” It was a weak conclusion, but it was the only one he offered.
“Working at this hour? On a Sunday?”
“Obviously.”
Maybe it was true. Maybe it wasn’t. Either way, Jounouchi started for the door. “Take your time. But, Kaiba...”
“Yes?”
“You slept pretty well with your head in my lap. Just saying.”