Chapter Text
The Astonishing Anomalies of Gravity Falls
Fiddleford H. McGucket, PhD
Stanford F. Pines, PhD-- To Stanley Pines, without whom none of this would have seen the light of day.
Introduction
Nikola Tesla once said that the history of science shows that theories are perishable; with every new truth that is revealed, we get a better understanding of Nature and our conceptions and views are modified.
Much of what is written in this paper defies what most believe to be real; research on the cause of these phenomena is still ongoing. Only by keeping an open mind on the scientific evidence presented in this work, and abandoning all preconceptions…
Stan had seen it coming from a mile away.
The not at all subtle mention of ‘ongoing research’ was a first hint, as was Stanford’s decision to wait for McGucket to come pick his car up before publishing the revised thesis paper. ‘To discuss a few matters’, he had said, but Stan knew it wasn’t the paper he wanted to talk about: for that, a phone call would have sufficed. If Stanford wanted to wait for a face-to-face chat, there had to be a lot more going on.
The third big hint wasn’t so much something his brother did, but what he did not do. He got rid of the rather creepy amount of Bill-related stuff he kept in his basement, including a golden statue Stan would have rather melted to keep the gold; everything in any way connected to Bill Cipher had to go, and go it did. Except for the one thing his brother did not dismantle.
So really, when Stan went in the kitchen one night to find the door to the basement open and his brother downstairs, staring in silence at the deactivated portal with his arms behind his back, he was not surprised in the slightest.
“So, lemme guess. You’re thinking of firing up this baby and see what’s beyond.”
His words caused Stanford to wince and turn. He looked amazingly guilty, like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar - something that had never happened when they were kids, really, because that was usually Stan’s role. And he’d never felt guilty when caught, anyway.
“Stanley, I… I hadn’t realized I had woken you up.”
“You didn’t. I woke up on my own,” Stan said with a shrug, and walked up to stand by his twin’s side. “So. Am I right? Is this what you want to discuss with Nerdy?”
“Yes. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but truth be told I haven’t made up my mind yet. It’s… just an idea.”
“An expensive one, huh?” Stan guessed, and grinned, elbowing his brother’s side. “That’s where the money from the paper is gonna go, huh?”
Stanford’s guilty expression melted into a laugh. “Only my part, no worries. And only if Fiddleford believes what I have in mind to be feasible - only if he agrees. If he says no, then that will be it,” he said, then paused for a moment and turned to Stan. “... What do you say?”
Okay then. Stan hadn’t been surprised to find his brother there, but now he sure was. “Whoa there. Are you telling me that if I say ‘nope, don’t do it’, you’ll just scrap this whole thing?”
“I am,” Stanford said, no hint of humor left in his voice, and Stan knew he meant it.
“... Okay. I ain’t saying no just yet. What’s your idea?”
Stanford turned back to the portal. “This is a gateway to other dimensions, and in a way it feels... wrong to keep their existence hidden from mankind. I would never dare activating it with Cipher still around, but now he’s gone.”
“Yeah, but if Nerdy’s rambles are anything to go by, this thing kinda leads into the tenth circle of Hell.”
“It does, as things are. Cipher tricked me into building this portal so that it would lead into his own dimension - the Nightmare realm. However, I think that a dimensional vortex neutralizer might allow us to entirely bypass it, giving whatever dwells in it no opening to come through and leaving other dimensions accessible for us to explore.”
That sorta made sense, in a very sci-fi sort of way. And really, it sounded like an amazing chance: as kids they had wanted to explore the world, but had always been a little put off by the fact explorers had already been pretty much in every corner of Earth, leaving no unknown waters left to map. But what would it be like, to explore dimensions - and be the first ones to ever do it? Also, getting unbelievably rich and famous in the process would be a nice cherry on top of the cake of awesome.
“Oookay. Let’s say I’m intrigued. Can you build a thing like that? A neutralizer-something?”
Stanford shook his head. “No, not me. If anybody can create something like it, that’s Fiddleford.”
“Looks like we’re gonna have to ask Nerdy, then,” Stan said, then shrugged. “Okay. If he says yes, we go through it together. If he says no, we dismantle this whole thing - wouldn’t even be the first of your inventions I break, huh? - and use the money from the paper to buy, like, a research cruise ship or something. You do the research, I enjoy the cruise.”
The idea made Stanford laugh again. “That sounds tempting,” he admitted, then sobered up. “It might just be what we’ll do. Fiddleford almost lost his sanity to whatever he saw on the other side. I can’t say I truly expect him to agree giving the idea a go.”
Stan shrugged. “Hey, you never know. The guy’s got bigger balls than one would think. I mean, figuratively. Didn’t look myself. Did you?”
Stanford raised an eyebrow. “... Really now?”
“Hey, you were college roommates. Never even got a glimpse?”
“Stanley. He is married.”
“Nope. Was married. Might be your chance, Poindexter.”
Another laugh. “I’ll pretend to have never heard any of this,” he said, turning his back to the portal. “As for the project, I’ll ask next week when he comes for his car. He’s likely to bring his son with him, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t repeat any of this in front of the child. Or at all. Let’s go back to sleep.”
Stan made a dramatic gesture towards the door. “Ladies first,” he said, earning himself light punch on the arm. He rubbed the spot, watching Stanford walk away, and grinned. Not so much because of the joke, but because he had noticed something most wouldn’t have even thought of.
As he left the basement, Stanford didn’t turn to spare another glance at the portal. It was enough for Stan to be certain that yes, if he or McGucket said no, Stanford would just dismantle the portal and never bring it up again. His brother strived to go forward, as he always had, but no longer all on his own.
Never again all on his own.
… The inauguration of the International Institute of Oddology in Gravity Falls, Oregon, is undoubtedly the greatest leap ever made in history - not only proving the existence of worlds outside our own, but even allowing mankind to make contact with them.
“The Dimensional Vortex Neutralizer makes the activation of the portal perfectly safe, but for time being only specialized teams of experts can travel through dimensions for limited amounts of time. We do however have high hopes that, in the future, interdimensional travel will be open to all,” said Dr. Stanford Pines, founder and CEO of the Institute, who took the scientific world by storm last year with the publication of his amazing discoveries.
According to Chief Operating Officer Dr. Fiddleford McGucket, the team has successfully made contact with a dimension known to its inhabitants as Dimension 52 during its latest expedition.
“We documented every step, and are looking forward to share all we’ve gathered in a press conference at the end of the month,” he added.
Both declined to comment allegations that one Stanley Pines, whose title and role in the Institute are still unclear, attempted to sell the Brooklyn Bridge to a seven-eyed alien lady in the course of the expedition. They also denied Mr. Pines’ earlier claims a souvenir shop and guided tours of the Institute are in the works, to the disappointment of local children.
On other news…
“Guys! GUYS! I found another door and it’s all brand new! He explored another dimension!”
“Cool! Let’s go now! I want to see it!”
“Wait, let me take my notebook…”
“Who’s got a camera?”
“I’ve got seven!”
“Oh! I want one!”
“No. You’d just finish all the film to take pictures of noses.”
“I wouldn’t! Liam, tell him!”
“... He’s right, actually. You do that all the time, Billy.”
“Hey! That’s not true! I also take pictures of ears! And teeth!”
“C’mon, Stanford, don’t be a stick in the mud! Let him keep a camera and let’s go.”
The new door wasn’t a long distance away; Stanley and Stanford ran all the way to it, while Bill and Liam hovered right behind them. Really, why did they even bother walking and running when they could fly so easily in the Mindscape? Stanford had said something about a ‘force of habit’, and it sounded really boring, a bit like staying in one place all the time.
Because sure, the beach was great and a lot of fun, but it was just so much better to go out and explore all of the new memories that kept popping up... especially the ones of different dimensions. So far they had met a bunch of warrior piglets with octopus arms - Stanford had gotten a really cool tattoo there - then they had found a dimension where it was mandatory to gamble. It had been a lot of fun, until they had caught him and Stanley cheating, so they had to leave really quickly. Stanford and Liam had been really annoyed at them, because they’d been only halfway through taking notes and snapping pictures of everything they could see and now they were pretty much banned from going back in that memory.
Then there had been the other one - a world called Exwhylia that had looked a lot like the Second Dimension - but they hadn’t explored that one. When Billy had found it, one look had been enough decide he would never, ever take Liam there. They would hate him there, just like at home. They would call him Irregular. And they would try to kill him, just like at home.
But it wasn’t really home, was it? Because home is supposed to be a place where you feel welcome, and Liam had never been welcome back there, not at all. No one less than Regular had been.
I’m glad it’s gone, Billy had thought when he had slammed the door shut, and right there and then it hadn’t even mattered that it was probably what the other Bill had felt like, what he had thought after destroying it. Because they deserved to be gone.
I’m glad they’re all gone. But I am here, Liam is here, and we’re free.
“Here! This is it!”
The door Stanley had led them to was made of very dark wood, with a brass plaque on it. Most doors seemed to have one: Stanford Pines’ mind was incredibly well-organized.
Dimension 52.
“What do you think is in here?” Liam asked, floating closer. His eye was wide and almost sparkling, a notebook and a pen already in his hands. Billy thought, not for the first time, that their world just hadn’t deserved him. It hadn’t deserved either of them. “Maybe a new color?”
“Hot alien girls! Or… or the Toffee Peanut Dimension!” Stanley immediately piped in.
“Eldritch abominations!” Stanford exclaimed, holding up a camera. Billy, who was kinda hoping to find a dimension of endless candy or something like it but would also settle for abominations, shrugged and hovered to the door, reaching out to grasp the handle.
“Hey, only one way to find out. Kings of New Jersey?”
“Kings of New Jersey!”
Bill pushed down the handle. The door opened, and they stepped into the unknown.
June 2012
Ah, summer break. A time for leisure, recreation, and taking it easy... unless you're me.
My name is Dipper. The girl about to puke is my sister Mabel. You may be wondering what we're doing in an interdimensional shuttle-cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror. Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation. Let's rewind.
It all began when our parents finally allowed us to spend the summer at our great uncles' International Institute of Oddology in Gravity Falls, Oregon...