Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I’m leaving! Please eat something and lock the door, I’m carrying my keys so don’t worry” Johnny put on his leather jacket and then a coat, thick enough to protect himself of the cold streets. Doyoung only stared at him, nodding after the older’s words; oh how much he wished that moment had never come, he didn’t want Johnny to leave, wishing his plans were canceled thanks to the snow storm... something, anything.

“I’ll try to get back as soon as possible but if you feel sleepy please go to bed, I don’t want you to stay awake” after being completely done, Johnny stood in front of Doyoung who was seated over the couch, and with his fingertips held the chin to make him look at him “Don’t worry, everything is fine, okay?” and with a soft kiss, John bid goodbye and left. Doyoung only nodded again and just watched him leave.

The apartment fell silent. Doyoung laid over the couch covering his body with a thick blanket while watching the gray sky through the window. He felt as if a black hole grew on his insides, he wanted to cry but didn’t know exactly why. He trusted Johnny, but not the other person... He was afraid, what if Johnny came back home with different ideas and feelings. What if he fell in love with his blind date? What if, after getting back home he ends their relationship? The younger wouldn’t be strong enough to handle something like that, not when he had lived almost a year of a happy relationship with the older.

With his gloomy mood, he got up and turned on the Christmas tree as well as de TV, it would be a long and horrible evening for him.

“This is a waste of time, I’m telling you” Johnny spoke while eyeing the streets through the window car. He had been punctual, reaching Jaehyun’s house exactly at 6, only to find Jaehyun still wearing pajamas and Taeyong with a bored face. They left at 8 pm and Johnny only thought his friends were worse than girls, spending almost two hours to get done. At least girls were always pretty, his friends were the same as usual.

“Shut up grandpa, it’ll be fun!” Jaehyun grinned eyeing Johnny through the mirror. Taeyong only laughed and John rolled his eyes. He preferred a million times to stay at home, inside his bed, caressing Doyoung’s back while enjoying his company, yet he didn’t want to turn down his friends.

After wasting 30 minutes just to park in the car and enter the place, they were finally there. Music was extremely loud, tons of guys and girls dancing with one another feeling the beat, some others were just chatting and resting on the table's area... John mentally asked himself why of all the places for a “date” his friends chose a night club, and not only that: a famous one.

“And how are we supposed to find the person?” Johnny almost yelled, approaching Jaehyun until it was close enough to his hear, while the latter just glanced at every corner of the place, marveled.

“Over there!” Taeyong signaled a table at the back of the place.

John saw a boy waving at them; he just followed his friends until they were in front of said table.

John saw an interesting boy.

“Hey, Ten! Come here, you guys need to know each other” Jaehyun, dragged the raven-haired male by his arm, a brilliant smile filling his lips. He then pushed the boy to get him closer to Johnny.

“Johnny, this is Ten! Ten, this is my dear friend Johnny” Jaehyun pronounced while gesturing with his hands.

The tallest stared at the short boy for a few seconds. His height in comparison with John’s was... short; his hair was deep black and shiny, his smile was cute and sincere, his eyes held a special and luring glow, the clothes suited perfectly his slim body. Being completely honest with himself, John imagined a different person to be his date, but Ten was... fine.

“Hello Ten, nice to meet you” The tallest bowed and smiled gently.

“Nice to meet you too! Jae and Taeyong have told me a lot about you” Ten clasped his own hands, bowing as well and smiling back.

None of them mentioned the words “Blind date” so John would spend the time as a friendly night.

Few minutes passed when Johnny saw his friends Jaehyun and Taeyong already dancing in the middle of the crowd while he was just... seated there, with Ten by his side, who was watching the crowd dancing, moving his head to the beat of the music and tapping his fingers over the table. The brown haired male eyed him and after thinking about it for a few seconds he decided they should have fun too, that way time would pass by faster and he could go home.

“Uhm... Ten” John spoke louder to catch his attention “Wanna dance?” and he smiled. The latter smiled back and nodded immediately. Both boys left their seats and in a matter of seconds, they were inside the crowd dancing and enjoying the fun and friendly atmosphere.

John was a decent dancer even tho his moves were a bit lazy. Nevertheless when he saw Ten dancing... shocked was nothing: The boy moved his body in perfect sync with the music, his smiles and attitude were completely different from before, he seemed really passionate and immersed in dancing.

Seconds, minutes, hours passed with the pair having fun on the dance floor, sometimes they left to have something to drink, to praise their movements, or just to interact some more, nothing extraordinary.

“Ooh! I love that song!” Ten screamed and took Johnny’s hand to drag him again to the dance floor. John just smiled and followed but everything changed when he saw a new smile over Ten’s lips, it was... seductive and dark; the older felt incommodious but didn’t say anything. Ten on the contrary just kept dancing, glancing at the brown haired male from time to time. The song continued with Ten doing suggestive movements in front of Johnny and sometimes getting too closer against the taller’s body; John was about to run away, things were extremely awkward for him now. The song ended and he went to sit, leaving Ten behind, he wanted to be alone and rest for a bit.

Several minutes passed and John felt at ease again. The “blind date” thing kinda worked, he thought, but not the way their friends wanted to. For him, Ten was a nice company and a cheerful person, just like Jaehyun and Taeyong... another friend.

Still on his seat, Johnny started to feel tired, it had been a lot of time since he went out to have fun like that; it wasn’t something he usually did, John really preferred to spend his time at home watching TV, inside a cafe or restaurant where the environment wasn’t as crazy as a night club. Checking his cellphone he saw it was already 12:40 am... Wow, time had passed very quickly.

"Hey Jooooohn, you having fun?" he suddenly heard while his friends slumped on the chairs in front of him. Taeyong was the one asking, a slur could be heard in his voice... They were drunk already.

"Yeah but I'm tired, I think I'm leaving in few more minutes" Johnny smiled a bit, watching how Jaehyun leaned his head against Taeyong shoulder, both seemed so wasted already.

"Don't gooooo" Taeyong sighed dramatically, bursting into laughter almost instantly.

Johnny just stared at them and analyzed the situation. He couldn’t leave his friends in that club... they were extremely drunk to drive or to be alone around the place; John needed to take them home.

"You guys are already so drunk, go to the car and I'll drop you both on Jae's house" John said in a firm voice.

"Nuuuuu" Taeyong tried to fight back, his eyes almost closing completely.

"It's an order. Go, now" the tallest male glared at the couple in front of him. Both Jaehyun and Taeyong struggled to get on their feet, at the end supporting onto each other's body while walking... more like, stumbling.

Johnny wished to be the one guiding them to the car but at the same time he didn’t want to be discourteous, he wanted to wait for Ten to say goodbye.

After some more seconds, Ten came back, sitting directly over Johnny’s lap. The older totally startled stared at him while a strong smell of tobacco flooded his nostrils.

“Johnny I’m back” Ten spoke before Johnny could do it “We should go to a more private place” and he smirked, getting closer to his face while his hand started to play with Johnny’s shirt.

“Look Ten I’m-” John started but got cut off almost instantly.

“We were having a good time, but we can spend a really good time” Ten whispered inside Johnny’s ear, both hands now caressing slowly his chest while smiling.

John heaved a sigh, held Ten by his hands and separate their bodies trying to be as gentle as possible, staring at him “There’s no need to bother yourself with me” and then he felt a pang of guilt on his chest when he saw Ten’s smile fading away “We were having a nice time, yeah, but I can’t see you more than as a friend... I’m sorry if you got the wrong idea” and sighed; the situation was too awkward for him. Ten stood up and sat himself in one of the chairs, still looking at him.

The brown haired male sighed again, he really had to tell him those words to get him out of his wrong ideas “I’m really sorry Ten... I have to go”.

John gave him an apologetic smile but Ten was just looking at him, nodding slightly.

Feeling the awkwardness suffocating him, Johnny left the place and once outside he inhaled the cold air of the night. Few meters away, he saw Taeyong and Jaehyun standing in front of the car; both of them constantly wobbling, leaning against each other. Johnny approached them and palmed their shoulders to get their attention.

“Give me the keys, I’ll drive” Johnny struggled a bit with a way too drunk Taeyong and after few minutes he got the keys in his hands, also got his friends inside the vehicle and left the place.

The streets were empty thanks to the hour and luckily he didn’t spend too much time till they arrived at Jaehyun’s apartment. John left the car and pulled Taeyong by the arms, he was more drunk than Jaehyun; struggling and fighting, the three of them went in and out of the elevator until they reached the front door of his apartment.

"Borrow my car" with a slight slur in his voice, Jaehyun handled the keys to Johnny while almost carrying Taeyong who was about to fall unconscious.

“Thanks dude, now please get inside” Johnny smiled slightly, ordering Jae to open the door “I want to see you two entering”. Jaehyun only smiled, fighting with his keys until he found the correct one and opened the door, dragging Taeyong with him and saying “Be careful on your way back” as a form of goodbye; the taller only laughed.

Driving back to his own apartment was faster and calm than he expected, John drove slow and carefully because some roads still had a thin layer of snow and he could have an accident if he exceeded a certain speed limit. Eyeing the clock on the car’s radio, John saw it was almost 2 am... probably Doyoung was not awake anymore.

After getting back and leaving the building's elevator, Johnny’s cellphone started ringing. Without paying too much attention, he took the device out of his coat’s pocket and picked the call, meanwhile with his other hand tried to pull out the keys from the back pocket of his pants.

“Hello?” He answered.

"Hey! Thank you so much John!" he heard over the phone a cheerful Jaehyun. Having the keys in hand, he went to his front door.

"No need to thank, I'll drop by tomorrow to lend you your car" John smiled but his smile faded suddenly when he noticed the keys in his hand were Jaehyun's car keys... silly.

"Tomorrow Hansol will leave to his hometown and we'll be at the park in front of Uni. You'll be there, right?" Jaehyun chatted like he usually did and for a moment Johnny was surprised to hear him talking so normal before he saw the drunk state he was just a few hours back.

"You sure you're telling me the correct info? You're drunk" John laughed, making his friend laugh too.

"I'm no longer! Barfed everything out" John could only hear a loud laugh after Jaehyun's words. He then rolled his eyes and held his phone against his cheek with his shoulder while struggling to find the correct keys and hearing his friend talking on the phone. Knocking at the door would have been better but he was sure Doyoung was sleeping by the time.

After several seconds he finally found the key, introduced it and the door opened. At the same time, Jaehyun made the question Johnny was already expecting.

“So... Your thoughts about Ten?”.

Well... damn.

The whole place was silent. Lying in the couch, Doyoung snuggled up hugging a small pillow, a thin blanket covering his shrunken body. He felt an extremely incommodious heaviness all over his body, the tip of his nose and fingers were almost frozen... he fell asleep in there.

Lazily he opened his eyes and instinctively looked the clock hanging on the wall: 2 am, and the silent environment told him John wasn’t home yet. He was about to get up when someone spoke from the outside of the apartment... it was him. Doyoung was ready to get up and welcome him when he noticed the older was talking to someone, over the phone probably.

“He’s uhm fine. He dances really cool I have to admit” and then silence.

“Yeah but... I don’t know Jae, you had to see him being all over me” silence again, but Doyoung’s heart was pounding so hard and fast he could hear his own heartbeat in his ears; of course Johnny had a great time, he would be happier with someone else... someone more lively and funny than Doyoung.

“I’ve got his number yeah but...” Doyoung heard John’s voice again; his stomach sank after hearing those words.

“Would you let me finish!?” John spoke louder then laughed... Doyoung knew everything was over.

“Ah, suit yourself then, good night Jae” and then silence again. Doyoung just sat over the couch, his eyes were full of tears ready to roll down his face. His heartbeat fastened with the pass of seconds and a ringing sound pierced his ears, it was obvious Johnny would call the boy, his voice while speaking with his friend was cheerful... happy. The younger felt like dying, all those past months he lived a one-sided relationship, a lie.

“Youngie?” John saw Doyoung’s silhouette from his spot, his boyfriend was on the couch... "he did wait for me!" Johnny felt happy.

“You had fun I could hear” The raven-haired male spat his words almost in a whisper, he didn’t want to sound miserable and weak... like he really felt.

“Nah, not that much, I don’t really enjoy that kind of places” Johnny smiled widely and took few steps closer to the younger, however, he just stared at his boyfriend standing up without turn to look back at him.

“I... I’m... leaving tomorrow” Doyoung sighed his words without even thinking about anything. His heart shattered in million pieces and his mind told him he needed to get out of there as soon as possible before his past reoccurred to be his new present but in a crueler way.

“What?” Johnny asked startled to hear him and see his attitude.

“I heard you while talking over the phone with your friend... you were genuinely happy” Doyoung clenched his fist, he was ashamed of himself, he fell again in the same trap. John didn’t like him; he was surely put up with him because they lived under the same roof, that was the truth for him “I have nothing more to do here, that’s why I’m leaving... That way you’ll be happy with someone else... someone more like you”.

An agonizing silence suffused the whole place until a clear and loud sob from Doyoung echoed along the living, his tears flowed nonstop while his breathing became ragged, his heart raced uncontrollably and his mind... well his mind was a total mess, the negativity and his low self-esteem were about to drag him down to the darkest part of his own mind, where his reason told him that there was no place in the world for a loser like him.

“What are you saying!? Doyoung if this is a joke you need to stop because it’s not a bit funny, okay?” John was just standing there, frozen on the spot while he stared intently at Doyoung’s back, who was trembling and sobbing from time to time. The older didn’t know what to do.

“I am the joke... I’m...” And his own cries didn’t let him continue. He did love John, but also he was the only one having feelings, it was clearly a nonreciprocal love.

Heavily, Doyoung started to drag his feet in the direction of his room without sparing a single glance at Johnny, he wanted to be alone, cry until he couldn’t breathe and then fall asleep just to forget at least for a moment how miserable and pathetic his whole existence was, but then he felt a strong hold around his left wrist, stopping him from leaving. Said action angered Doyoung, John really needed to stop playing with him now that Doyoung knew about his filthy trap; without holding himself he yelled “Leave me alone! Go back to that boy’s arms and be happy, stop wasting your precious time with me. I ca-” but he got himself cut off when the older hugged him from behind.

“I don’t like you anymore...” John whispered directly on his ear, feeling the small body tensing after his words “I love you” he whispered again. His heartbeat fastened, John still didn’t get what was going on and why Doyoung had a reaction like that one but seeing his bunny deeply hurt and confused gave a strong pang deep inside his chest; imagining himself without Doyoung by his side inflicted him a terrible fear.

“St... Stop playing with me” Doyoung blabbered, trying to free himself from John's grip, earning nothing.

“I love you so much... I can’t picture myself without you anymore” and then everything fell silent, only Doyoung sobs kept echoing from time to time.

“Please... Don’t leave me” John pronounced clearly and let him go, only to stand in front of him and hold his face by his wet rosy cheeks; the sight gave him even more pain, now all around and inside his heart. The younger’s face was covered in tears and long traces of them adorned his cheeks, lips were extremely dry, eyes red and glassy, Doyoung was so... broken and hurt.

With slow movements, John approached the smaller’s face and gave him a small soft kiss, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against the younger’s “I love you so much” he repeated.

“Johnny I...” Doyoung was speechless. Hearing the older saying those four words that were so delicate for him... feeling them being real... Was everything real? He was so confused.

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, the single thought of you makes me feel happy and the luckiest man stepping this planet...” John blurted everything in one sentence; it was hard for him to talk about his true feelings but Doyoung needed to know everything, and John wanted to show him how much he loved him, what Doyoung meant for him.

After slowly opening his eyes, John saw Doyoung’s beautiful and deep gaze... Oh, he did love him so much.

“I love you” John repeated again, wrapping the small body between his arms. A few seconds later he felt Doyoung’s small hands over his back, gripping his shirt while his slim body trembled.

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry Johnny” Doyoung kept repeating between sobs, his tears started to wet the latter’s shirt but at that moment it didn’t matter at all. The insecurities and fear living inside Doyoung’s being got him fully blind, he behaved like a coward without being conscious his actions could have destroyed what was truly real... their relationship.

John softly caressed the expanse of his back, holding back his own tears. Hearing Doyoung sobbing was really painful, but at the same time, his heart felt warm after knowing Doyoung wouldn’t leave him.

Several minutes passed with Doyoung crying against the older’s chest until John held him by his cheeks to look at him, his thumbs cleaning every tear that rolled down his soft face.

“Please stop crying, I won’t go anywhere... and also I won’t let you go that easily” The brown haired male smiled seeing that special glow adorning the younger’s gaze, it was part of those of charms John loved about him. Doyoung smiled too.

“I... I was so afraid of you dating someone...” he hesitated for a bit but then continued “someone who really worth, not like me” and bit his own lip, diverting his glance to a random spot far from John and his presence.

The taller kept silent for few seconds, sighing heavily “Don’t ever say that again” then leaning his chin over Doyoung’s head, staying in that position for minutes. Johnny wanted to tell him encouraging words but at the same time, he knew Doyoung needed his own space and time to let everything out and feel better. John, on the contrary, felt his heart so... light after hearing Doyoung’s words, the younger did love him, there was no doubt about it. In total silence, the pair enjoyed the warmth of their bodies for several minutes.

Still without uttering a single word, John started to leave short kisses all over Doyoung’s cheeks, one of his hands went down to hold his waist and brought him closer to his own body. His lips now were over the other’s, kissing slowly until his teeth trapped the lower lip, biting and pulling it a bit to get Doyoung’s attention.

Doyoung let him do whatever he wanted, his arms circled Johnny’s neck while his tongue played with the latter’s; when he closed his eyes, the last pair of tears fell down his cheeks. His heart had a newly warm sensation and was so in peace after the intense whole week he experienced... But Johnny told him he loved him, he really felt something for Doyoung, both of them loved each other.

“Youngie” John spoke between kisses, sliding both his hands until reaching Doyoung’s small butt “I want you...” and groped him strongly almost making him scream “Please be mine Youngie”. He had an enormous desire to be with Doyoung, to have him between his arms and make him feel loved in one and a million ways.

Doyoung only blushed, understanding perfectly what John meant. He needed to try, it was fair for both of them even when it was Doyoung’s first time; both of them wanted to be together in every single way.

Being shy and biting his own lips, Doyoung nodded slowly while his gaze sought the other.

Everything happened way too fast for Doyoung, minutes ago he was crying nonstop against John’s chest regretting every bad thought he had and in the following moment he was already lying on his bed with Johnny on top of him. His heart raced faster than ever and he couldn’t tell if it was fear, excitement, nervousness or a mixture of everything. Still, he felt pretty ready to give in, give his all to Johnny.

Meanwhile, Johnny observed in total calmness every inch of Doyoung’s face, drinking in the sight of his delicate and perfect face. Both hands went directly to hold his thin waist, his lips landing over his forehead “Don’t be afraid Doyoung” whispered to calm him even when Doyoung himself radiates a sense of calm.

Slowly, John started to remove every piece of clothes from the younger’s body until he was fully naked. Doyoung felt so vulnerable and shy being like that right in front of his boyfriend, which by the way, was totally dressed; the raven haired’s hands instinctively covered his manhood and chest, his gaze fixed anywhere but Johnny.

The older observed Doyoung’s shyness and smiled but said nothing. He began to remove his own clothes just to give the smaller the necessary confidence.

“Look at me” John pronounced in a soft voice.

Doyoung remained on the bed with Johnny hovering over his body, both of his knees planted on the sides of Doyoung’s legs; his eyes tried to find the older’s ones but the sight that welcomed him sent a strong amount of shivers all over his whole body.

In front of him, he had a fully naked John. Doyoung could clearly see how well defined the muscles on his abs were, his arms and thighs, his chest... he tried to avoid seeing his manhood but he couldn’t. Doyoung roamed his gaze all over John’s body, he was muscular, big, strong... Quite the opposite to his.

John smiled again eyeing the smaller and his reaction, Doyoung’s cheeks were fully pink and his eyes moved so slow from down to up until both made eye contact “Let me see you too” whispered the brown haired male.

Doyoung refused, shaking his head. The insecurity about his appearance was strong at the moment and he was ashamed to be so... physically boring.

Still smiling, Johnny held the other's hands between his owns and interlaced their fingers, moving them away from his body to stop covering it. He instantly eyed way too slow the body below his, pleasing himself bit by bit. Doyoung’s body seemed so fragile, however, it was perfect for John, his thin waist was clearly defined and his abdomen was so flat, adorned with a thin slot-like navel John found very attractive and alluring, his nipples had a soft brown color Johnny could almost imagine it tasted like milk chocolate; he mentally laughed after thinking that. A spark of desire and lust flared John’s insides when he saw Doyoung’s semi-erect member, they literally did nothing yet he was in that state already.

“John...” the soft voice from the younger boy dragged Johnny out of his thoughts. He could see that beautiful glow his eyes always had, and which make his heart race to the speed of light. Without uttering a single word, Johnny attacked those beautiful small lips; he didn’t want to look desperate but he needed to see everything from Doyoung, he wanted to feel him, taste every corner of his body and soul, make him happy, make him feel all his love, his fondness, his desires... Doyoung deserved everything.

While their tongues played with each other, John held Doyoung’s legs to spread them and positioned himself between them, smiling between kisses when he noticed Doyoung didn’t complain at all.

“Youngie...” sighed between kisses, his hands now caressing his flat and soft abdomen. For John, Doyoung’s body was like wonderland, the lust and desire to touch him and feel him against his own body grew with every passing second, but he didn’t want to lose control and hurt him. He’ll be as careful as possible.

Soon his right hand gripped Doyoung’s member, hearing, for the first time of the night, a melodious moan escaping those abused lips, same that gave strong shivers to his entire body. With slow movements John started to stroke the organ, playing a bit with the foreskin while his free hand caressed his waist. Ending their kissing, Johnny sat up straight and stared at him one more time.

Doyoung laid there, with closed eyes, swollen and wet lips, his breathing was out of rhythm and his abdomen contracted from time to time. John’s hand was warm and felt so good touching him, his palm was big and kinda raspy against his skin but gave him the perfect friction. The raven-haired male bit his own lip trying to hold back his moans but it was impossible.

“Touch me Doyoung” The older ordered.

Doyoung hesitated for a bit, the nervousness painting his face; supporting himself with the help of his elbow Doyoung got up and extended his other arm to reach Johnny’s member, holding him in his hands and blushing after feeling the weight, warmth and also how semi-hard it was. He bit his own lips again while staring at his member, it was big, thick and the veins started to get protruding... Doyoung was speechless.

At the first jerk of his wrist, Doyoung heard a small grunt coming from Johnny, but he avoided any visual contact. He had never done anything like that before and didn’t want Johnny to notice about it, even if it was almost obvious John would already know about his zero experience.

“Doyoung” John spat firmly and loud after few minutes of touching and enjoying each other’s body; he removed his hands from Doyoung’s body, the latter doing the same after thinking he maybe had screwed it up.

“Are you sure you want to keep going?” John questioned him, biting his own lip after checking out the younger’s body for the nth time in the night.

Doyoung didn’t hesitate and nodded, staring intently at John, losing himself for a moment in the older’s features that were perfect for him.

John smiled and laid Donyoung's thin body back on the bed, pouncing over him to reach with his lips those well-defined collarbones that draw his attention from everything.

Doyoung mewled at the new contact, every sensation was so foreign but it felt just so good, he wanted more, he needed more, everything if it was with Johnny, only him.

Descending a bit, John’s lips trapped one of his nipples, kissing and sucking hard causing the small body to squirm and arch up his back looking for more of that delicious sensation. His free hand played and pinched the other one, pressing stroking and twisting the skin until making him scream; every single sound was like a sweet and pleasurable melody for Johnny.

He kept descending, leaving a trace of soft kisses and some bites that left small but beautiful marks over Doyoung’s milky skin, until he reached his abdomen where the tip of his tongue traced his thin lovely belly button, only to bite the skin with his front teeth, earning a loud moan from Doyoung... apparently it was one of his hot spots; John smiled.

“Johnny no...” a spark of fear born inside Doyoung when he imagined what was the following action of his boyfriend; he was ashamed and sad to be the only one getting all the attention, but John seemed to be totally okay with it.

“Shh... Just let me” The older got up and went to the bathroom as fast as he could only to come back with a small jar Doyoung knew too well... vaseline.

Getting back to his main position over the bed, John held high one of his legs and kissed his inner thigh while he plunged his fingers inside the jar, coating them enough with the pulpy substance “This will kinda lessen the pain... But if you can’t handle it, we’ll stop, okay?” John stared at him in a serious way, then leaving the small jar over the night table.

Doyoung just eyed him nodding. Usually, he was embarrassed when talking about sex and intimacy, but in that exact moment he just... wanted to live and feel everything. Seeing Johnny so concerned for him made him feel weird, yet he liked it.

Without further ado, John started to caress the contracted rim with his index finger, smearing some of the vaseline onto the sensitive skin. His eyes were fixed over his pink entrance but his gaze bounced from it to his already hard member; he wanted to blow him at first but Doyoung would not be able to handle everything at that moment.

"Tell me if you can't handle the pain, yeah?" John repeated himself while staring intently at him, only to be sure of the answer. He only got a weak “yeah” as an answer, and a gaze so... needy that made his palms sweaty. If Doyoung kept being so seductive and innocent at the same time, Johnny wouldn’t be able to hold back.

Not hesitating more, John slowly inserted the first digit, feeling the flesh expand minimally, giving him the sensation of being trapped inside... wonderful.

Doyoung whimpered after feeling the intromission. Johnny’s fingers were long and thick, the sensation over his body was foreign but tolerable.

John twisted and moved his finger slowly, caressing the skin to loosen it a bit. His hand trembled from time to time when hearing Doyoung soft mewls, his member ached but he needed to hold on, he wouldn’t ruin everything just to feel good.

After several minutes he decided to add the second finger, drinking again Doyoung’s now loud moans. His flesh began to feel more relaxed and warm, so he decided to add a third finger.

“Ahh... J-John...” Doyoung bit his own lip closing his eyes tightly. His skin overstretched and felt like burning; deep inside his mind, he started to be afraid after feeling that kind of pain. With his hands he subtly gripped the blanket trying not to call John’s attention, controlling his breathing as much as possible, he didn’t want to disappoint Johnny nor did he want him to stop but his subconscious started to play with him again.

“Are you okay?” Johnny asked, seeing the way Doyoung was frowning and the beads of sweat appearing over his forehead and neck. Without hesitation, he stopped every movement.

“Y..yeah, I’m... I’m fine” The younger opened his eyes and searched his boyfriend’s ones, feeling a strong pang of a mixture of feelings inside his chest when he made eye contact with John. His gaze told he was worried but at the same time, he wanted to keep going, to touch him, hug him... love him.

After a few seconds Doyoung, for the first time in his whole life pushed aside his fears and being totally confident he pronounced “I... I think I’m ready”.

John only stared at him for a couple of seconds, slowly retiring his fingers from inside his cavity. Without uttering a word, he picked up the small jar of vaseline and took a nice amount of the content, this time spreading it over his palms. With slow movements he started to stroke his member to coat him with the creamy substance; he was too aroused and worried at the same time, he didn’t want to hurt his boyfriend in any way.

Doyoung eyed him while biting his lip... even tho it was probably John wasn’t doing it to provoke him, he found the sight extremely erotic. Johnny was there, on his knees rubbing his own member with subtle and gentle movements; still with the lack of light, Doyoung could see how defined were Johnny abs and also the muscles on his arms and thighs... John was so attractive... and Doyoung felt so lucky.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” John asked in a low raspy voice while repositioning himself.

“I am” the younger replied doubtless, smiling to calm his boyfriend as much as he could.

Johnny smiled back, leaning over him to claim those thin and pink lips, losing himself for a moment in the sweetness of them; the younger kissed back.

Taking advantage of the small distraction, John held his member and introduced only the head in slow motion, earning a throaty moan. The younger’s hands settled over his shoulders, one of them went directly to the older’s nape and caressed the skin.

"Are you okay?" John asked, trying not to moan or thrust, the welcoming warm sensation gave him chills all over his body.

"John... Please stop asking" Doyoung smiled, the hand of his nape now caressed the soft skin of John's cheek "I want this." he looked straight into Johnny's eyes and whispered, "Make me yours".

John observed him during few seconds and once again claimed Doyoung’s lips as his, this time in an aggressive way, biting those thin lips only to lick the marks of his teeth. With a swift movement of his hips, he went fully inside the smaller’s cavity, getting a loud wail from his boyfriend.

Doyoung clung to the older’s body with his hand, digging his fingertips on John’s shoulder while the other tightly gripped the blanket. The burning sensation and pain was something so new for him, yet he felt encouraged to feel more, to experiment much more only if it was with Johnny. Before the older spoke, Doyoung assured him “Ahh I’m... I’m fine” while closing his eyes, feeling some tears forming and trying to roll down.

Johnny eyed him for a second, then buried his face in the juncture of Doyoung’s neck to start a slow pace. The pressure surrounding his member was delicious and so stimulating, he never felt so much pleasure before, he was about to lose control but the touch of Doyoung’s fingers digging his skin obligated him to control his desires; John was fighting with his own self.


Doyoung’s moans started to flow in sync with the older’s thrusts, the new sensations were driving him crazy, he didn’t know if the pain was better than the pleasure or vice versa. His entrance started to get loosen with each movement. “Jo…John” was the only thing he could utter, he was about to cry not because of the pain but for the whole moment, it was the first time someone touched him that way, the first time feeling another body above his, the first time he really felt loved… so many first times were happening, and everything was... real. His tears started to roll all the way down to his cheeks, choking a bit while moaning.

John slowed down a bit and stared at the now crying Doyoung, the worrying started to grow inside his chest “Youngie?” asked while with his hand removed a few strands of raven hair to look him straight in the eyes.

“Don’t stop… It’s just… everything is so perfect” Doyoung opened his eyes and got himself immersed in those beautiful brown eyes for few seconds… yes, everything was so real.

“You’re the cutest” John smiled, giving him a small kiss over his forehead, then kissing for the nth time his beautiful lips. With both hands he held the smaller’s legs and started to pound harder, enjoying his moans and mewls, adding the beautiful scene of a crying Doyoung, the frown on his face was so adorable and the way he wetted his lips from time to time, everything was seducing Johnny to no extent. He wanted to see more of Doyoung, feel more of him, making him hiss, scream, cry and smile; he felt the need to give his Youngie everything of himself.

A particularly hard thrust made Doyoung scream Johnny’s name in such a high-pitched tone, same that went straight to the latter’s member.

“Ha- harder…” Doyoung whined, circling his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. His whole body felt so hot and a strong sensation of stimulation spread all over his lower abdomen.

Johnny did as he was told and increased the power and speed of his thrust. The friction and the warm insides encouraged him even more to keep going; with his hand he held Doyoung’s abandoned member and started to pump it slowly, hearing him moan deeply, John felt in heaven with only the beautiful scene.

Doyoung soon came all over his torso and John’s hand, not even warning his boyfriend; white strands of dense liquid adorned his milky skin. John claimed his lips between grunts and deep low moans, still thrusting harder even when the smaller’s entrance started to feel cramped after the orgasm.

“Johnny… Joh-nny” Doyoung cried, his whole body getting oversensitive.

After a few more thrust, John emptied himself inside the small body; his ragged breath colliding with the smaller’s pink lips.

The moment felt like an eternity, a beautiful eternity both of them didn’t want to get out of. John rested himself carefully over his boyfriend’s body, giving him small kisses on his chin and jawline from time to time.

After what felt like ages, John pulled out of Doyoung hissing in the process, only to lay himself on the empty side of the bed. Circling his arms around Doyoung’s delicate waist, he started to get comfy and ready to have a good rest.

“No John... we need to clean up, I mean I... I’ve made...” a mess. Doyoung stared for a few seconds at his own body and an intense pinkish color filled his face.

John just laughed and hugged him strongly, bringing him closer while kissing his temple “Seriously you are the cutest”.

Doyoung shyly smiled but did nothing, the sticky sensation on his abdomen and asshole was so weird but he could live with it for at least the night.

“I can clean you with my tongue if you want, I don’t mind” John laughed louder after seeing Doyoung’s surprised and shy reaction, he really was so cute.

“N-no... thanks”  the raven-haired male bit his own lip and accommodated until he found the perfect position: his head resting over John’s arm, both hands against his own chest and his whole body completely glued to his boyfriend, sharing the comforting warmth of their bodies... perfect.

John only giggled, hugging him in a possessive way.

Fatigue began to overcome the pair, John was about to leave the real world to start dreaming when he heard a voice that brought him back to earth.

“Johnny...” Doyoung whispered. With his hand held the older’s face.

Said male opened his eyes, finding a pair of beautiful big sparkly eyes “What’s wrong?”

“I love you” Doyoung had a serious look over his face, his gaze bounced from Johnny’s eyes to his lips, his cheeks, his nose, everything. His heart raced faster than ever, it was the first time those words left his being and it felt just so... good to know they were reciprocated.

“I love you more” Johnny interlaced their legs feeling every inch of the small body against his, his hands descended to grab his asscheeks and grope them forcefully, tearing a deep sudden moan “Let me sleep or I’ll make love to you again” he laughed while subtly massaging his soft globes. Doyoung just let him do whatever he wanted, enjoying every single touch.

Several minutes passed until the pair, between caresses and the warmth of their bodies, fell into a deep sleep.

White natural light flooded the whole room. Doyoung slowly opened his eyes heavily seeing the tarnished window and the tree branch once again covered in white... snow.

Stirring a bit on the bed he felt his fingertips and shoulders almost frozen. Covering his body with the blanket to warm his skin, he noticed he was naked... and then flashes of what happened the night before started to burst his mind. He smiled weakly with every scene inside his head, covering his face with both hands and fully hiding himself below the white bedsheets.

“Good morning to you too” heard behind his back. Still covering his face he turned to the other side on the bed and the sight that welcomed him after uncover his eyes was the perfect naked body of his boyfriend; an intense shade of pink filled his cheeks. Using his hands, he removed the sheets to reveal his face, finding a smiling Johnny staring at him.

“Good morning Johnny” Doyoung smiled back, hugging him and leaning his head over the latter’s shoulder, giggling at the thought of feeling shy about being naked... after what had happened before he shouldn’t feel any shyness, still he couldn’t avoid it.

“Did you get some rest? Does it hurt?” John shifted a bit to welcome his pretty bunny between his arms while leaving short small kisses all over his forehead.

“I’m fine” Doyoung closed his eyes, enjoying every caress Johnny would like to give him. The environment was cozy, he could spend the whole day in the same place, same position.

“Glad to hear that, because you won’t have time to rest today” a sly smile crossed John’s lips when he saw Doyoung opening his eyes in an exaggerated way.

“What!?” Doyoung stared at him; with the blanket, he covered his chest up to his neck while an intense shade of red adorned his whole face, was Johnny being serious on his words? Spending the whole day in bed having sex... Doyoung wasn’t sure he could stand it.

“You have a dirty mind, don’t you? I meant I need to go somewhere, but I want you to go with me” Johnny smirked, watching the smaller’s reaction was so cute and funny; he liked to play with him.

"I'm sorry" Doyoung buried his face on John’s chest ashamed of his own thoughts but then he processed the words... and stared at his boyfriend, totally impressed “You want me to go out with you!?” it was something John never had told before. Doyoung felt his stomach contracting in weird ways after pronouncing his own words, imagining himself walking with Johnny on public... he didn’t know if it scares or excites him.

“Yeah, so let’s take a shower, we’re leaving soon” Carefully, John left the bed not even caring to be naked, he just stretched his body and eyed Doyoung with a playful smile “You go first, I’ll make us some coffee” and caressed the latter’s cheek. The younger nodded only, staring at him leaving the room.

Doyoung slowly got up from the bed, feeling a weird pressure on his behind after taking a few steps but it was bearable; a proud smile plastered over his lips. He felt so happy to have Johnny by his side, to know his love was reciprocated.

Everything turned to be so perfect.

Their morning went slow and nice. Both of them had breakfast together while watching TV, simply enjoying each other’s company, like any other day.

After two hours John explained he needed to lend back Jaehyun’s car and after doing so they could just walk on the park covered in snow... yeah, it seemed like a nice plan.

Inside the car, Doyoung watched John while driving. He loved to learn new things from the older, seeing him driving made him smile and feel more attracted to him, John was so perfect. However after divagate inside his head; the events from the past day and the reason of Johnny having that car came back to his mind. None of them had brought back the blind date topic, it wasn’t needed anyway, but Doyoung’s curiosity was bigger than the whole world and he wanted to ask.

Taking advantage of the red light, he stared intently at Johnny and asked “Johnny... how was your date?”

John looked at him a bit surprised but instantly smiled playfully, sighing “You’re asking that now? It was... fine I guess”

“Was he your type?” Doyoung asked again, having a serious attitude.

“Yes, I want to see him again” John stared back directly for few seconds, then laughed loudly “I don’t have standards for people, if I like it, then I like it” and finished his words searching the younger’s hands, interlacing their fingers. Doyoung was way too adorable asking those kinds of questions, although John was worried, he didn’t like at all that Doyoung didn’t trust in himself if he was such a smart and beautiful person, everyone would like him instantly.

“Did you like him?” Doyoung once again asked, this time avoiding the older’s gaze but still holding his hand; he wanted to stop his asking session but his fears and curiosity controlled him.

“No. He’s a nice person but he also smells like cigarettes and troubles” and everything fell silent, only the sound of the car going forward when the light changed to green.

“You’re weird” Doyoung muttered biting his own lip to stop himself from smiling wide. Yes, John’s answer was way too weird sometimes but at the same time convincing, of what? He didn’t know but he felt so much at ease after hearing his answers.

“And you’re handsome” John eyed him, grinning. Doyoung only blushed and thanked almost in a whisper.

Their ride was pretty quick for Doyoung’s taste; the atmosphere inside the car was calm and comfy he wished to stay there for a couple of minutes, however, his hopes broke when John parked the car and left for a second just to open Doyoung’s door and give him his hand.

The streets, the buildings, trees... everything was covered in dense layers of snow, it was beautiful.

“Where are we, exactly?” Doyoung asked, glancing at a joint of buildings; he gripped Johnny’s arm to support himself thanks to the slippery ground.

Those buildings are my University” John answered while walking in the opposite direction, dragging Doyoung with him.

The younger felt like a little boy being carried by his older brother. Johnny held him strongly, smiling as explaining that the park they were walking for was the one where he spent his free hours reading or just sleeping. The pair laughed every time John told a funny story until he signaled with his finger and pronounced “Ah! They’re there” fixing his own coat.

Doyoung looked to where John’s finger pointed and saw a handful of persons sitting over a wooden table, some others were just standing there. Exactly Doyoung counted 6 persons, five boys, and a girl.

“Who... w-ho are they?” Doyoung asked deeply afraid, slowing down his stepping. Without even noticing he started to pull Johnny’s arm to get back, just like a small kid trying to avoid being dragged into a place that caused him panic.

“Calm down, everything’s fine” he heard his boyfriend’s voice but no, nothing was fine for Doyoung. What if those persons make fun of him just to be... him? That was the most terrifying part for him about going out together, he knew he was nothing compared to Johnny. He was afraid and wanted to leave as fast as possible, or at least not face his boyfriend’s friends.

“Hey John! You came!” The pair heard. It was too late for Doyoung, they were already close to them, it was impossible to hide or leave. “Who’s that?” the younger heard another voice; his whole body trembled uncontrollably, with his hand he tried to cover a part of his face with the scarf adorning his neck but a pair of hands he knew too well stopped him.

Being close enough of his friend, John held Doyoung’s face and without further ado kissed his small lips. His thumbs caressed softly Doyoung’s warm cheeks while kissing him repeatedly. Soon he felt a small pair of hands gripping his coat, same action making him smile over his boyfriend’s lips. After several seconds he separated from the younger and stared at him, smiling even more; the latter was blushing and his eyes were half-lidded.

“You liar! You told me you didn’t know him!” The pair turned their heads to look at the yelling person, Jaehyun.

Johnny smiled devilish and hugged Doyoung by the shoulders with his arm, pronouncing clearly “He’s my boyfriend aaaand... you’re not allowed to touch him” finishing his words kissing the younger’s temple, who only watched the whole scene as if it was a TV show or a product of his imagination. Anything, but not his reality.

All of them laughed after John’s phrase.

“Finally! Congrats Johnny!” The girl left her place and ran to hug the taller male, turning then his attention to Doyoung and eye him for a couple of seconds, smiling friendly while lively holding out her hand “I’m Wendy!”. The younger shook hands with her, a small smiling forming on his lips as he told her his own name.

“Owww you’re so cute!” Wendy smiled almost yelling his words, then held him by his arm and dragged him with her to the table where the other boys just watched the scene; John pushed him a bit as a form of encouragement, letting Wendy steals him.

Wendy told him the boys names, Jaehyun, Taeyong, Hansol, Taeil, and Ten. All of them were extremely kind and funny, occasionally they asked Doyoung about his University, about how was to live in the city and how could he live under the same roof as Johnny, who was a lazy and a carefree person. Their conversations always ended in laughs and Doyoung felt so happy, for the first time in his life he was kindly welcomed by strangers who actually acted nice with him... maybe not all people were malicious as he had always believed.

Meanwhile, in a corner of the table, Johnny smiled at Ten, ashamed.

“Everything makes sense now” Ten told him smiling as well, playing a bit with some strands of his own hair.

“Yeah... I’m really sorry” John patted his shoulder trying to break his own awkwardness.

“It’s fine, don’t worry. You’re so loyal” Ten laughed assuring the older his words were true. Both of them went back to chat with the rest of their friends

Two hours passed until the boy named Hansol began to say goodbye to all. John explained Doyoung that Hansol would travel to spend Christmas with his family, just like both of them and that’s why they gathered together, to bid him goodbye.

“We’re leaving too” John announced after seeing Hansol and Wendy leaving. Everyone started to hug them and wish them a nice Christmas and new year.

Ten was the last to hug Doyoung then holding his small hands, staring intently at him and smiling “He really loves you” and released his hands, going back to his place on the bench. Doyoung smiled widely waving at him, he didn’t know why Ten had told him that, but if someone else said it, it had to be true... right? Anyways, he didn’t doubt anything about Johnny.

After spending so much time outside, the pair decided to get back home and get warm and comfy inside.

For Doyoung everything went back to normal, even tho it was only him. There were neither negative thoughts nor insecurities inside his head.  After their sentimental chaos, the pair decided to just have a nice but normal Christmas dinner and then spend the rest of the night together, watching movies like they usually did.

The clock on the wall showed 11:20 pm when the movie credits ran slowly on the TV screen. Doyoung shifted a bit over John’s chest while the latter caressed the expanse of his back; both were lying on the bed, covered with two or three blankets since the snow was intensely falling.

“John... can I ask you something?” Doyoung fixed his gaze on the TV.

“Go ahead”

“Why... your friend didn’t know about us?” There he was again asking things he really didn’t want to ask because maybe the answer could hurt him. The atmosphere fell silent, only the sound of their breathing and the melody coming from the TV resonate.

“I was jealous” John deadpanned.

Doyoung got startled for several seconds, then sat straight up over the bed and glanced at his boyfriend not believing what he had just heard. Johnny, on the contrary, didn’t move an inch nor even looked at him; his eyes were fixed on the television.

“What?” The younger asked but no one answered. More seconds passed, the movie credits ended and then John stared at him in a way Doyoung never had seen before, his expression was so... serious; Doyoung knew he wasn’t lying nor playing.

“I was jealous” John repeated himself, this time sighing “When we were a couple already, one day Jaehyun told me you were cute and that he could date you” another sigh, this time a deep one, and continued “I felt so... vulnerable and angry. I lied about knowing you because I was afraid, Jaehyun is such a nice and cheerful person and I... didn’t want someone snatched you from my arms” and finished with a serious look. His fingers played with the hem of the blanket, contemplating it as if it was the most interesting thing in the world; deep inside he felt bad for skipping the part of Jaehyun talking about Doyoung in a sexual way, but it was the best... he didn’t want Doyoung to have negative ideas about his friend.

“Thank you” Doyoung landed his hand over the older’s to draw back his attention. When John glanced at him, Doyoung smiled sincerely and the brown haired male felt his heart melting. There was no reason to thank, nor apologize, cry or feeling bad, there were only reasons to smile, and the first of all was that they were together. The younger laid again over the bed and innocently kissed the older’s lips.

“I... I need to explain so much about myself. It wasn’t my intention to sexually restrain you like the way I did...” Doyoung was about to speak when John placed his index finger over his lips, muting him gently.

With both hands, John held the small body by the waist and positioned him over the bed, then hovering over it and smiled after seeing Doyoung’s impressed expression “I don’t want any explanation. I don’t know about your past and why were you like that but you don’t need to remember what hurts you just to explain yourself” and then kissed the tip of his nose “I want to be the one that makes you happy, let me erase those bad memories, let’s create new ones... let me be your only one” with his thumb he outlined Doyoung’s fragile lips, then stared intently at him, losing himself in the depths of his eyes “Let me be someone in your life as much as you are everything in mine”.

Doyoung only stared at him, blinking constantly trying to process every word. After several seconds he nodded while his hands held the older’s face “I love you” and kissed those pink beautiful lips, getting an immediate response from the other.

John smiled between kisses, he didn’t need any other words.

The night continued with the pair consummating their love under the blankets. The whole week was so heavy, emotionally speaking. However, every bad thing served to fix what was broken and in the end, the entire situation fell into a perfect state of calmness. It didn’t matter if they needed to leave the place and be far from each other until the year ended, because they would be together again, and thereafter there would be no more fears or insecurities.