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In hindsight, Tomoyo decided that if she had to give up filming Sakura’s adventures, there really hadn’t been a better one than the last one.
It had begun with a teleporting enemy, which had Sakura casting all kinds of magic in desperation, and Syaoran was using his sword as they so rarely saw him do – as an actual sword, not a wand. The two of them ended back-to-back, Syaoran staring around for physical attacks while Sakura focussed on the energies around them. The whole thing was utterly beautiful, and even compared to some of the more combat-heavy adventures they’d had, the unity between the two magicians was just so perfect that Tomoyo couldn’t have dreamed of anything better.
And then the enemy reappeared directly in front of Syaoran. Sakura had been ready, and immediately cast Time, but it had taken a fraction too long. The enemy had snatched Syaoran’s throat and was already teleporting away.
Kero tried to explain it later. Apparently Sakura’s Time magic had interfered with the enemy’s teleportation, and had caused something vaguely similar to the Return, sending them through time instead of space. But all Tomoyo saw was a strange rippling effect as the air around Syaoran seemed to bend. Then both he and the enemy were gone.
For five minutes, Sakura panicked, while Yue pretended not to worry and Kero made obnoxious jokes that did nothing to hide his concern. The Time didn’t work, and neither did the Return. Sakura cast out to the stars, screaming for the power to bring him back, but they didn’t respond.
And then, just as Sakura had collapsed into Yue’s arms, sobbing helplessly, the air bent again, there was a flash of light, and Syaoran stumbled out in front of Tomoyo. Sakura tried to run for him, but Yue held her back until they could be sure it was really him.
Syaoran, for his part, just blinked at Tomoyo dazedly for a few moments, looked at Kero and Yue one by one, and then finally turned to Sakura. His sword clattered to the ground, and he slowly walked forward, gently pushing Yue’s hand aside so he could hold Sakura’s cheeks in both hands.
“Sh-Syaoran…kun…?”
Then he kissed her.
It was their first kiss, and Tomoyo very nearly squealed. Later, she thanked her presence of mind to keep her camera steady, because it was the perfect first kiss and the perfect shot and the perfect, perfect, perfect end!
Even better, although Kero later mentioned a bubble of pink and green magic that had exploded out, invisible to Tomoyo, she and her camera had captured a wave of energy in the form of a strong wind that burst out from true love’s first kiss. For weeks afterward, there were reports of sick people getting stronger, flowers blooming at amazing rates… everyone across Tomoeda was in a fantastic mood and Kero complained that if the kid had really had to do something like that, couldn’t he have at least waited until they could use that much magic for something useful?
Tomoyo was on a second-hand high for three days, until Syaoran stopped her after class one day, looking as serious and determined as he ever did.
“You can’t film her magic anymore.”
“What…?”
“It’s not like it used to be,” he said, his voice flat and firm. “The magic we deal with now is more dangerous, and our enemies won’t ignore you.”
“Ene-”
He continued quickly, as if trying to stop her from noticing his use of the word. “I know I can’t stop you from coming, or being there when danger starts. But you can’t be distracted anymore. You can’t use your camera when we use magic.”
For a few seconds, she hated him. He knew how much she loved filming Sakura – he knew it was her true happiness. He was trying to keep Sakura all to himself and destroy her happiness in the process!
But just as she opened her mouth to begin her sobbing objection, she noticed the muscle working in his jaw. That made her look down at his clenched fists, and then up to his eyes again. They were dark and apologetic, but fiercely determined, and she realised… he did know this was hurting her. And he hated it, but he wasn’t going to budge.
She tilted her head, trying to read those dark eyes. “Li-kun… are you scared for me?”
He immediately turned away, blushing hotly. “N-no. I’m… it’s nothing.”
Despite her heartbreak, Tomoyo had to smile. Sakura had pointed it out, and she had to agree. Syaoran always said ‘it’s nothing’, and it never was. He was scared for her. She folded her hands over her heart, and he watched her expression change from the corner of his eye.
“Anyway… when something happens, put your camera away.”
“Alright,” she said sadly. “I promise I’ll be careful.”
He blushed again, glaring off to the side as if that would change the fact that everyone knew he was really a nice guy. And, partly as a punishment, Tomoyo immediately whipped out her camera to film it, giggling at the resulting flail.
She was already filming Sakura the next time magic appeared, when some kind of spirit started warping the ground around them. Syaoran wasn’t there, and for a moment, Tomoyo considered forgetting her promise. Sakura didn’t seem to know about Syaoran’s request, and either way, she wouldn’t tell him…
But she had promised.
It was a little disappointing, but she did have to admit it was easier to dodge some of the fallout when she wasn’t trying to get a good shot.
The next day, Syaoran showed up at her house with a box that he very nearly shoved into her arms, his face red and eyes steadfastly off to the side.
“Thank you,” he blurted out, when she blinked at him. “For keeping your promise.”
She had to laugh at his embarrassment. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
“B-because…” He glanced at her, then quickly away again, his shoulders rising slightly. “It’s not… filming Sakura is… you…”
She nodded, finally taking the box from him properly and setting it down on her table. “I must confess, when you first asked, I was upset. Sakura-chan is just so beautiful and powerful, and never more elegant than when she has magic.”
Syaoran lowered his eyes to the ground, almost hunching in on himself, and Tomoyo smiled gently, willing him to stop looking like a kicked puppy.
“But sometimes, when I’m watching Sakura, it’s very easy to get caught up in things, and that means there might be danger. You made me promise so that I would pay more attention, and so that I wouldn’t get hurt,” she said, and then sat down to begin opening the box. “Once I realised that, I didn’t think there was really any way I couldn’t without feeling silly.”
He let out a slow breath and stuffed his hands in his pockets, tilting his head around to smile at her. Then he nodded and turned away. “Well, since you understand, I’ll just –”
“But,” she said, pausing her unwrapping to look up. He froze, half-turned away, and she frowned at his back. “But how did you know I kept my promise? Did Sakura-chan tell you?”
“Uh, no, I…” He hesitated, glancing back but not enough for her to see his eyes. “Do you remember, at the park, with the teleporter?”
“You disappeared.”
“Y-yeah. With his power, and Sakura’s, I… I went through a few time periods,” he said awkwardly. “I saw the past, and… a few possibilities. Yesterday—the yesterday I saw—you weren’t paying attention.”
She stared at him, wondering what he’d seen happen to her. But then he coughed and straightened up, his fists tightly clenched. “But I should have said it a long time ago, anyway! Running around with a video camera… this isn’t a game!”
“No,” she agreed, and went back to her package. Syaoran started walking to the door again, but her pleased gasp stopped him before he could touch the doorhandle, and she jumped to her feet in excitement. “Oh my!”
Tripods. Three tripods of all different sizes, with adjustable legs and grips. She’d never bothered to buy them before, for various reasons. She pressed her palms together in front of her, and although Syaoran didn’t look around, she could practically feel his blush across the room.
“I thought that – when nothing’s happening – you should – you’re always so busy with the cameras – I just thought this way – you should – you can have fun too,” he babbled, and hunched his shoulders again, peeking past one to see her. “So you can still film, but have fun, too.”
It took just about all her self control not to leap across the room and hug him the way she would have with Sakura, but she managed to contain herself to a pleased cry, “Li-kun…!”
He hesitated one last second, then made an odd, awkward noise and dashed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.
Syaoran was in an odd mood for weeks after his trip through time, watching people he’d never spoken with and refusing to get into fights with Touya.
Touya, Tomoyo noticed, was not amused by Syaoran suddenly polite, deferent attitude.
“He’s planning something!”
Yukito just rolled his eyes. “Stop being paranoid, To’ya.”
He also started training again, which frustrated both Sakura and Tomoyo. They’d finally gotten Syaoran to the point that he would swim for the enjoyment, and express interest in movies, and suddenly he was back to his old self – constantly reading, exercising or meditating.
“Did you see something scary in the future?” Tomoyo asked him, when she finally got him alone on an errand for the teachers. “Are you preparing for something?”
“Not particularly,” he said, and refused to look at her.
She watched him the rest of the way to the teachers’ office, and as soon as they dropped off their load and started back, she swooped around to stand in front of him, refusing to budge until he looked at her. “Li-kun, you’re always looking out for Sakura-chan and I. I understand that you don’t want Sakura-chan to worry about you, but if there’s anything bothering you…”
He blinked, then smiled and shook his head. “It’s really nothing,” he said, but then let his head drop off to the side, his smile fading slightly. “It’s just… in Hong Kong, I’m the Li Clan’s best sorcerer. Not just in magic, but as a warrior, too. I spend a lot of time calming spirits and magic, on my own.”
She frowned but nodded silently, knowing that when Syaoran got in these moods, interrupting him would just make him change the subject.
“But here, when something happens, I don’t even reach for my sword. I just watch Sakura.” He stepped around her, moving over to the window. When Tomoyo joined him, she wasn’t at all surprised to see Sakura had just stepped out of a door, into the courtyard, and that Syaoran’s eyes were trained on her. “I don’t think about how I can stop things – just what I’ll do to protect her while she’s fighting. It’s a little pathetic.”
“No, it’s not!” she cried. “You love her and trust her to watch over Tomoeda. That’s –”
“It’s not what a Li Magus should do,” he said, and turned away from the window, closing his eyes. “But it’s what I do. And that’s fine. But if I want to stay strong enough to protect her, and not be left behind, I have to train. So I’ll train.”
“Li-kun…”
“Don’t tell Sakura, okay?” he asked quietly. “I don’t want her to look at me like you are now.”
She flinched, her hand automatically rising to her cheek, and he nodded, moving around her without another word.
Tomoyo looked back out the window, to where Sakura was laughing with some of her cheerleading club. Chiharu and the others had gone to a different middle school, and although Rika had come back to Seijou High, they’d drifted apart. Sakura had new friends that Tomoyo just couldn’t bring herself to like as much as their elementary school crowd.
The only really close friend she had, aside from Sakura, was Syaoran. She was pretty sure she was his only good friend too, because anyone who wasn’t in total awe of him seemed to think he was just plain weird. It was a place Tomoyo was familiar with.
Syaoran did a lot of things for her. He looked out for her, made her things, let her monopolise Sakura’s time completely, and his time too. Whenever she needed someone to go shopping with her or help her cook, all she had to do was ask, and he would come along, no matter how bored he was throughout the whole thing.
He had even acknowledged her love for Sakura, and respected her wishes to never mention it directly, or make it an issue.
But she had no idea what she did for him. Even moments like this, when he would confide in her, seemed so small. He never told her everything – the big things he always had to work out for himself, no matter how hard she tried to intervene.
But, she supposed, she did the same thing. She never told anyone how she really felt – or if she did, she kept everything vague so they could read what they wanted to. She didn’t really want anyone to know anything else, so she supposed she couldn’t hold it against Syaoran for wanting the same.
Still…
“Actually, Tomoyo-san, before you go in to see Sakura-san, might I have a word with you?”
She raised her eyebrows at Fujitaka, surprised by the request. Although he was always perfectly friendly to her, and happy to engage in conversation when she came to dinner, she and Sakura’s father rarely stopped to talk just to each other. She was pretty sure it had something to do with her mother and one or both parents’ paranoia, but it had never really been an issue, except that where Yukito was treated as a member of the family, Tomoyo was always a very welcome house guest.
Today, Fujitaka had been working in the garden when Tomoyo stopped by with a new dress for Sakura, so she paused on the patio steps and smiled politely. “How can I help?”
“Well, it’s a little awkward,” he admitted, putting down his tools. “It’s about Li-kun.”
She blinked. Between Touya, Yukito, and Syaoran’s own issues, he visited Sakura’s house even less than Tomoyo. She wasn’t even sure Syaoran had spoken to Fujitaka since coming back to Japan.
“You’ve been friends with Li-kun just as long as Sakura-san, haven’t you?”
She smiled and nodded. “Yes. He’s a wonderful person, despite what Sakura-chan’s brother says.”
Fujitaka laughed softly. “Touya-kun’s just being overprotective,” he said, but his smile faded as he came closer. “But I don’t really know Li-kun. I rarely ever see him, and when I do, I almost never get more than a syllable out at a time.”
She giggled, nodding again. “How very like Li-kun.”
“Do you think he might be angry with me?” he asked worriedly. “I know he’s defensive of Sakura-san, and some people don’t understand the way Sakura-san and Touya-kun helped with chores when they were growing up …”
“Not Li-kun,” she said. “He understands family responsibility.”
Fujitaka pursed his lips, and for some strange reason, Tomoyo suddenly got an image of Sakura stomping her foot and demanding to know ‘why then?!’ She closed her eyes, raising her shoulders in a hidden laugh. “Li-kun is a quiet person. And when something scares him, he becomes even more so.”
“Scares…?” he asked.
“You, Kinomoto-san, and Sakura-chan’s big brother are very affectionate with Sakura-chan,” she explained. “Li-kun’s mother is… different.”
“Ah, yes, I believe Touya-kun mentioned something about her being rather formal,” he said, and Tomoyo nodded.
“So he doesn’t really understand the jealousy a family feels for a loved one. He assumes Sakura-chan’s brother believes he is a bad person, and probably assumes the same of you. And unlike Sakura-chan’s brother, you are a parent, so you can tell Sakura-chan to stay away from him.”
He sighed, setting a hand on his hip. “That’s a problem. I don’t want to push away such a big part of Sakura-san’s life like that.”
“I don’t think Sakura-chan would allow that,” she said, but then stopped and considered. Now that she thought about it, she was still looking for something she could do for Syaoran… She clapped her hands together and leaned forward. “But, you know, we could arrange it so that you and Li-kun have a chance to talk!”
“Oh?”
Half-hidden behind his homework stack, it occurred to Yukito that it had been a long time since he’d seen that look on Syaoran’s face – the one where he honestly didn’t seem to know whether he wanted to run far away or never move again.
Fujitaka, to his credit, pretended not to notice, and did a wonderful job of looking desperate. “But I shouldn’t ask you to do such a thing. You only came here to see Sakura-san, and I barely know you. I should –”
“No, I’ll do it!” Syaoran yelled, and then clamped his mouth shut when the words reached his ears. Now he looked downright terrified, but when Syaoran said he would do something, he would always follow through. He swallowed hard and added, at a more normal volume, “I’d be happy to help.”
Tomoyo had arranged with Sakura to go shopping, so it was extremely odd that Syaoran’s reason for arriving at their door that afternoon was Tomoyo saying Sakura had asked for his help with something. Even more curious, the only people home were Yukito, who rather liked Syaoran, and Fujitaka, who had been looking for an opportunity to talk to him.
And now, despite the fact that just before the doorbell had rung, Fujitaka had been calmly sipping coffee and preparing a lesson plan, he was suddenly in a terrible state, due to his research on Egyptian temples having gotten lost in a pile of books downstairs, when he really needed them for his latest research assignment. If only, he had mused, someone could go through the textbooks and sort them into some kind of order, it would help him out so much…
What a coincidence that Syaoran, who just happened to have a closeted interest in archaeology, ancient mysteries, hidden temples and oh, just about everything Fujitaka studied, should show up just at that moment.
Yue grumbled that this felt a lot like one of Tomoyo’s schemes, but Syaoran was already marching toward the basement office and didn’t seem to have noticed Yukito’s presence.
Fujitaka let him go for about an hour before he and Yukito crept down to see what had come of the manufactured mess. Given Syaoran’s personality, it wasn’t at all surprising that he actually had organised everything into neat piles, and seemed to have gotten a fair way into putting them back on the shelves before the interest he usually kept squashed under layers of responsibility and magic traditions had won out. He was now leaning against one of the stacks, lost in a textbook.
Yukito chuckled soundlessly and started tiptoeing back up the stairs, leaving Fujitaka to continue down to corner the elusive target.
“You know, I remember many years ago, when I came to speak at Sakura-san’s school, you were interested in history then, too.”
Syaoran yelled and threw the book up in the air in shock, but managed to catch it just as quickly and immediately spun around to face him. “Teacher Kinomoto! I’m sorry, I was just –”
“It’s fine, it’s fine,” he said, chuckling. “Which book are you reading?”
For several seconds, he was frozen, looking like he expected the fury of the gods to smite him where he stood. But eventually, rather than answer verbally, Syaoran thrust out his arm to show him. It was a textbook Fujitaka usually assigned his first years, about Egypt’s geography in the days of its grand empire.
He had to say he approved. “It’s a good choice to get you started. Kirasawa has an easy turn of phrase,” he commented, and Syaoran blinked, then nodded once. Fujitaka smiled encouragingly. “Do you remember that day? I invited you to come around and see my books. I was always surprised you never did, since you and Sakura-san were friends.”
Surprisingly, the slight topic shift made Syaoran flinch and look away. “We weren’t… friends… back then.”
“Oh, now I think about it, that was just after you came to Japan the first time, wasn’t it?” he asked. “You were still after the Clow Cards, weren’t you?”
“Y-yeah…” He looked ashamed, and Fujitaka smiled gently, moving a few steps closer.
“I remember being surprised when Sakura-san told me you were new to the country. You spoke Japanese very well, even back then.”
“M-my family speak Japanese a lot,” he mumbled. “It was technically my first language.”
“Oh, really? But you would have known Cantonese and Mandarin, living in Hong Kong?”
He nodded. “English, too.”
“Amazing! I just have trouble with one language!”
Syaoran glanced at him from under his hair, then coughed and started putting the books on the shelf. “I – I should have this finished soon. I’m sorry it’s taken so long.”
“It’s fine,” he said again, and moved to help. “Here, let me take that pile. You’re arranging them by author?”
“Yeah…”
“We think alike!” he said, and raised his eyebrows when that made Syaoran wince. They worked in silence for a minute, Fujitaka watching him curiously before trying again. “Sakura-san mentioned you use Eastern magic?”
He nodded silently, focussed so intently on the spines of the books that Fujitaka was a little surprised they didn’t curl under the pressure.
“And you draw your power from the moon?” he prompted. “Like Yukito-kun?”
Again Syaoran started, then blushed again and mumbled, “Yue has the power of the moon. Mine is just drawn from it. It’s not as… celestial.”
“So it’s more of the earth?” he asked, raising his eyebrows again when Syaoran almost looked more ashamed by that than he had about not originally being friends with Sakura. “I really –”
“You’re wrong, you know.”
He stopped at the sudden outburst, his eyebrows lowering again at the defeated way Syaoran was looking at the bookshelf.
“I’m not like you at all,” he clarified, his voice growing softer. “Growing up, you never had a family. You had to fight for everything. When you met that woman, you loved her straight away and never gave up, even though it was hard. Even though everyone hated you for it, you never gave up. And when she was gone, you let her go, because she asked you to, and loved her still.” He was almost whispering now, his eyes hidden by his hair and fingertips barely holding onto the shelf in front of him. “I’m not that strong. I’m not like you.”
For a long time, Fujitaka could only stare at him blankly. “Did… did Sakura-san tell you that?”
“No.” Syaoran closed his eyes, then pushed himself away from the shelf and turned to meet him directly. “Some magic went wrong, and I saw some things. I’m sorry to have intruded on your past.”
“That’s… fine…” he said awkwardly, unsure of the propriety, but then laughed shamefully, rubbing the back of his head. “But you know, Li-kun, you must not have seen everything, if that’s what you think.”
“Huh?”
He leaned against the stack with a quiet smile. “It’s true, I never had a family, but I was never very determined before I met Nadeshiko-san. In fact, I started off as a high school history teacher because it was what I was good at, and because it meant I didn’t have to try very hard. Nadeshiko-san was the one who inspired me to go back to school and become a professor.” He shrugged at Syaoran’s glance. “Because she was so young, it wasn’t easy for us to be together, but she was the one who really had to fight. She was the one who had to fight to stay in touch with her family, who tried to disown her, and her friends, who didn’t trust me. She was so strong…”
Syaoran’s eyes flicked to something over Fujitaka’s shoulder, narrowing slightly before refocussing on him. It was a look he’d seen many times on Touya’s face, years ago, and Nadeshiko’s before him. Fujitaka smiled fondly.
“Sakura-san never told me you could see spirits.”
He straightened, his fists tightening almost defiantly, but Fujitaka just tilted his head up, as if he could see his beloved wife too. “When Nadeshiko-san left, she asked me not to cry. She asked me to let her go, and move on without her.” He waited a few beats, then admitted, “I didn’t have a choice about letting her go, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move on. Whatever you think you saw, Li-kun, I know you never saw that.”
For a moment, Syaoran was still and apologetic, before he suddenly flinched and turned beet-red. Fujitaka raised his eyebrows again, and Syaoran scowled a little, looking off to the side. “I don’t pass on messages. There are rules.”
“Messages?”
He glanced up, then hunched his shoulders and muttered, “She said we’re ‘both such boys’.”
Fujitaka blinked, then laughed and shook his head. “Of course we are. Here, Li-kun,” he added, and reached over to take down the Kirasawa and give it to him. “You should borrow this.”
“I… what?”
“And when you’re done with it, come get another,” he said, gesturing to the rest of the aisle. “The offer I made all those years ago is still open. Whenever you want, feel free to come around and see them. On one condition.”
Syaoran’s burgeoning grin shut down, and he became instantly cautious, ready to fight or argue whatever point he needed to. Fujitaka just winked. “You have to stay for dinner, too.”
“You planned this,” Syaoran stated as Tomoyo sat down beside him, looking altogether too pleased with herself.
She grinned back. “Yes, I did. Did you enjoy speaking with Kinomoto-san?”
He tried to glare at her, but couldn’t quite keep it up, and ended up just smiling bashfully, his hands curling around the book in his lap. “Yes. Thank you.”
Sakura, who had been speaking with Yukito, suddenly gasped and turned toward Syaoran. “You came because you thought I was here? Oh no, Syaoran, I’m so sorry!”
“Uh – no, it was fine,” he said, blinking, and Fujitaka smiled as he came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel.
“Li-kun was a great help to me, cleaning up downstairs. But I’m afraid I occupied most of his time rambling about my research.”
“No, it was really interesting!” Syaoran said quickly, then seemed to notice what he was saying and sat back, grimacing. Tomoyo giggled, so he tried to recover his dignity by glaring at her again.
Fujitaka chuckled, while Sakura clapped her hands. “Really? Oh, I’m so glad. You two haven’t really had much of a chance to talk before, have you?”
“Not with To’ya around,” Yukito added with a laugh.
“Speaking of which, he should be home soon,” Fujitaka noted, glancing at the clock. He looked around the room, a pleased smile spreading over his lips. “If Cerberus comes with him, that will bring in the whole family. We should celebrate.”
Tomoyo and Syaoran blinked, then exchanged surprised glances. They both blushed at the thought of being part of the family, but where Tomoyo smiled, Syaoran suddenly stood up and started moving toward the door.
“Sorry to be rude, but I really should get going. I haven’t finished my homework, and I have study to do.”
“Syaoran!” Sakura cried, while Fujitaka started and Yukito frowned.
“You won’t stay for dinner?”
“Ah, um, thank you very much, but…” Syaoran hesitated, glancing at the book in his hands, then held it up to Fujitaka. “I really do have to go, but m-may I take this?”
“Of course,” he said, and pursed his lips when Syaoran smiled and dropped into a bow. “You’re sure you can’t stay?”
He just shook his head, bowed to the rest of the room at large, and then hurried out, Sakura close on his heels and objecting. Yukito sighed, folding his arms over his chest. “He could just be embarrassed, but I think… He’s avoiding To’ya, huh?”
“Looks like it,” Fujitaka murmured. “We really should do something about that.”
Tomoyo just closed her eyes in a fond smile. She had her mission now.