Chapter Text
Vex dreamed, mostly, of her brother. His voice was a constant presence, a source of continuous comfort in a nonsensical landscape. In the twisting nightmare she could hear his whispers and though she couldn't make out any words, she knew it was him and she knew he was there and she knew that he loved her. A fact.
The other constant of her swirling dreams was a light. A bright light, sharp and vibrant, too harsh to even look at. It came and went and spoke so loudly that though she learned to cover her head with her hands at the first hint of it, she could never muffle the noise. The voice was a steady, throbbing pain in her head; she would have done anything to drown it out, make it stop. It spoke in words that she knew she should understand, but didn't, like a language she had once learned but left forgotten with disuse.
The quiet, dark ramblings of her brother were a sanctuary.
And then, suddenly, the light was back, brighter than it had been before, searing through her eyelids. It reached for her, and she pulled away, shouting at it- but the light laughed at her, and enveloped her, hot and loud and-
-and then it was gone and she-
-woke up.
Everything hurt. The voice and the light were gone but the pain in her head was still there, throbbing insistently like a heart that had gotten lost on its way to the chest and cries out for help. Vex lay still, listening to the beat, and trying to assess the rest of the pain. Everything hurt. If she could have gone back to the yelling light, she would have in a second.
Vex took a breath, and it felt suddenly like knives in her side- she gasped, and the pain increased, and she panicked, her eyes shooting open.
"Relax, relax," she was told, and she knew the speaker but when she turned her frightened gaze on him she was not blinded. He was a doctor, and she was in a bland hospital room, and the pressure against her side was her brother, her brother , and she was okay, she was okay-
"Ow," she whispered, afraid to tempt the dulling pain back by speaking.
"There we go," said the doctor, a tall, thick man in white with a steady smile. She clung to that smile. A doctor with bad news wouldn't smile like that. "Breathe slow. Relax. We're okay."
"Is she alright?" asked her brother, pleading for good news, "Is she okay?"
The doctor ignored him, and she wanted to laugh but was too afraid to do so. "You're a lucky one," he told her, flipping through the various machines whirring near her bed. "This kid hasn't left this room for days."
She looked at him, her dear brother, technically sitting in a chair but mostly thrown onto the bed itself, leaning carefully against her, his hand across her belly to hold hers- her hand that wasn't in a sling. She hadn't realized she was wearing a sling. Everything felt like one jumble of 'ouch' and she hadn't dared to categorize it yet. Vex tried to wiggle her fingers, and found it survivable. Okay. Alright.
Vax looked a mess. He looked like he hadn't left the room in a week. His hair was a mess, tangled and unwashed, and the circles under his eyes would challenge any cover-up. It looked like he'd been the one in an accident, not her-
Oh, god. She'd been hit by a car. She'd been-
" Trinket? " she gasped again, and the jagged pain in her side was nothing compared to the sudden fear blooming in her throat. She struggled to sit up and she knew it was a mistake even before the doctor pressed her firmly back into the bed with a large hand on her shoulder.
"Stop," he said. "Your dog is fine."
"He saved you," Vax answered, his grip shaking. "We didn't know where you were until they got a noise complaint about a dog barking."
"Trinket-"
"He's with Jarrett, he's fine."
"No dogs in the hospital," the doctor added, "despite the variety of arguments otherwise."
A weight off her chest. If Trinket had- if he'd- she might as well not have woken up, if she'd woken up to a world without him.
"That's a good dog, though," he continued. "Like I said, lucky girl."
"I don't feel very lucky," she said dryly. It was getting hard to concentrate now through the pain in her head, but she was starting to differentiate that from the sharp pains across the rest of her body. There was a vivid pain down her leg, though she was covered gently in a blanket and couldn't see it. Her bare arm wore scattered bandages; minor injuries from being thrown against the rocky park road, she thought.
"How do you feel?"
"I feel like I deserve some drugs," she answered honestly.
The doctor laughed quietly. "We'll get you some," he promised, "but we need to run a few quick diagnostics now that you're awake."
"How long was I-"
"Just a few days," he said, flipping the blanket away from her feet and tapping her toes. "You can feel that?"
"Yeah. Did I-"
"Wiggle your toes for me?" She did. He made a few more inane requests, testing her eyesight, feeling in other bits of her, her reactions. She thought it was all a bit inane- she just wanted pain meds, please, and another nap, thanks.
Apparently, a nurse would tell her later, they'd put her into a coma themselves. Impact with the car had cracked her skull open, pressing it dangerously close to her brain, and they needed to reduce swelling and movement until they could operate, and make sure it was okay, and- Vax's face during the explanation was pale, and he looked like he might throw up. (According to the nurse, he'd already thrown up a few times.) There was an entire list of things wrong with her now, but frankly Vex didn't care- she just wanted the pain in her head to stop, please, morphine, please.
"Chill," the doctor told her.
"I'm trying," she said, making him roll his eyes. She got her morphine, and she got her nap- feeling suddenly so exhausted, as if she hadn't been asleep for days (and it wasn't really sleep, the doc said).
If she dreamed at all this time, she didn't remember it.
When she woke up again, things felt better. It was probably just the drugs in her system now, but she didn't quite feel like she was going to explode anyway. She took the chance now, in the dimly lit hospital room, Vax slouched asleep in a chair in the corner, to try and assess. Really, overall, not that bad, she thought. Her arm wasn't in a cast but it was in a sling- minor fracture, they'd said. Two broken ribs, so she made an effort to breath carefully- and was reminded immediately if she made any errors. Bruising everywhere. Minor abrasions all over from the rocky road. A thick bandage over her leg covering a long line of fine stitches. It hurt when she pressed on it- but it was a distracting hurt from the ongoing ache in her head.
And oh, god, her head- the injury was painful, but what hurt her worse was the loss of her hair. She reached up, and felt- nothing. There was a vivid line of staples on the side of her head from the surgery, and- just- fuzz, at this point. They'd shaved around the area, messily, and she traced the edges of her hair with a shaking hand.
She didn't realize she was crying until Vax woke up, switching chairs to be near her and pulling her hand away from her head. "Hey," he said, wrapping his fingers around hers, "hey. It's okay."
"I must look awful," she sniffed.
"You always look awful," he told her softly, and she laughed a little until her ribs reminded her that- HEY- they look awful, too. "We'll get it fixed first thing," he promised. "Get it evened out. That whole half-shaved look is popular these days."
"Is it?"
"Listen, I'll do mine to match."
"God," she said, "please do not."
"Dad sent flowers," Vax said, changing the subject.
She had wondered about the elaborate bouquet on the bed stand. "Did he?"
"Well, his secretary did." Vex rolled her eyes. "Vel signed the card, though. Here." He plucked a lovely card from the edge of the table (one of a few, she noticed) and released her hand so that she could hold it.
' Big sis,' it read, in a messily scrawled pink glitter pen, 'did you know you're supposed to look both ways before crossing the street? love you lots feel better soon and don't eat the flowers' . Velora signed it in her current preferred fancy signature, and underneath was their father's stamp. Charming. Vex swore to keep it forever.
"Who are the others from?" she asked, handing it back so he could add it to the stack again.
"Pike and Grog. Scanlan sent one and then Kaylie sent another because I don't think they every speak to each other. Keyleth sent candies but... you were out for days so the nurses and I just kind of ate them."
"Of course."
"Which I guess if I hadn't even mentioned them, you might not have known."
"Too late, you're on the shit list."
"When am I not?"
"Never. Who else?"
"Jarrett said he was going to send one but decided watching Trinket and letting us go another month late on rent was better than spending four dollars on a card."
"Fair," she said, trying again not to laugh. Jarrett was a better landlord than they deserved to have. The amount of shit they put him through would have gotten them kicked out of anywhere else. But- "Oh, fuck, Vax- how can we afford this? When can I leave? God, I've got to-"
"Relax." He said, grabbing her free hand again and meeting her eyes with a steady gaze. "You're not leaving until they okay you to go."
"But-"
"Don't worry about the bill, dear." They both looked up to see that they hadn't noticed a nurse enter. She paused in recording the screen readings to smile at Vex. "It's been paid."
She tried to catch her brother's gaze but he was pointedly looking away, so Vex asked the nurse, instead. "By who? Was it the person who hit me? I thought they didn't stop?"
The nurse eyed her brother too, giving him a look that said a lot of things Vex wasn't even about to guess at. "By that poor sop who has been sleeping in the waiting room for the past few days."
"What?"
"Your guard dog's been very strict about who has access to your room, love," she replied.
Vax finally met the nurses look evenly. "Thanks," he said, voice bland.
"Vax?" Vex asked, looking from him to her. The nurse, apparently sensing that there was about to be a tiff, finished charting something and escaped without another word.
"Well, I don't know," Vax answered, "I didn't want to stress you out."
"Who-" Vex remembered suddenly, for the first time since she'd been woken up, the phone call before the accident. "Percy?" she whispered.
Vax shrugged.
Oh, god. Oh, god . He was here? He'd been here the whole time? He'd paid her bill? "What- Why?"
Vax sighed, and finally met her wide eyes willingly. "He called me, panicking. We found you. I don't know, I told him where the hospital was and he just showed up. But I don't even know what happened between you two or where you stand- last thing I knew you flew home at three am to escape him." He shrugged. "So he's been sitting in the lobby."
He'd paid the whole bill. Vex knew what hospital bills where like. She'd have been paying for this the rest of her life, even on their shitty insurance. She wished he hadn't done it. She wished he hadn't called, hadn't spent days sleeping on waiting room chairs without even being allowed to see her.
If she could pretend like he didn't give a shit, it'd be so much easier to get over him.
"Do you want to see him?" Vax asked, over her silence.
"I..." she trailed off, unsure, because the answer was yes but, shit, it should be no, right?
Vax squeezed her hand. "I can tell him to leave, if you don't want to. But if you do, I'll go get him right now."
"Do I look terrible?"
"Yes."
"Fuck you."
"I promise he doesn't look much better," Vax added.
She sighed. "Alright," she said, and he nodded before standing up.
Percy really didn't look any better than her- he looked like a man who'd spent four days in a hospital waiting room. His hair was a mess and his dark jacket was wrinkled to hell. The pleats in his pants were long gone and his glasses were smudged, failing to cover dark, sleepless eyes. He shuffled in, Vax slipping past behind him to find his chair again. Percy had his hands shoved into his coat pocket, his eyes downcast, looking like a man who knew he didn't belong here.
There was silence for a long moment until Vex spoke, just has name- "Percy."
He glanced up, met her eyes for a bare fraction of a second, letting them trail down her broken body before falling again to the floor.
"Surely I don't look that bad," she said.
"You don't," he replied firmly, "you don't."
Silence followed. Vax sat in the corner and watched quietly, his eyes shifting from one to the other. Eventually, Vex broke the stillness. "Well-"
"I'm sorry," Percy said, cutting her off. He swallowed, licking his lips, and looked up at her.
"What?" she asked, taken aback by his words and by the heartbreak apparent on his face.
"I'm sorry," he repeated, "I shouldn't have called you. I shouldn't have-"
"Percy-" It was her turn to interrupt. "If you think I got hit because you called me, I'm a grown ass woman, I can talk and walk at the same time. I was distracted by- by something else. This wasn't your fault. Don't be stupid." It hurt her to talk this much, for so long. She could feel her head pound, growing hot. "If you want to apologize to me," she continued anyway, "there are better places to start."
"You can sit, Percival," suggested Vax softly.
Percy, startled, stepped forward quickly and threw himself into a chair next to her. "Tell me where to start," he whispered.
"You made me leave," she said. "You made me- I really liked you, Percy. It was like a dream, and then you... just told me to leave."
"I'm sorry-"
"I really thought- Percy, I really thought maybe you were different and weren't just after sex."
"I wasn't, god, I swear. Vex, I swear."
"And honestly it would have been okay if that's all you wanted? But then you convinced me- it felt like you liked me, too. Percy." She was getting worked up. Her ribs were sore, her head actively ached. She was desperate for morphine but she had things to say, things that she'd been churning over for too long. There were tears dancing at the edge of her eyes- but they were just from the pain, she swore.
He leaned forward, his hand reaching out for hers, but at the last second he thought better of it and let his hand fall on the bed sheets instead, trembling. "I've done you wrong, Vex," he said, voice nearly as wobbly as his hand until he swallowed again, drawing strength into his words, "I'm broken," he confessed, words coming quicker and more desperate. "I'm broken and I never intended for my jagged edges to hurt you, too. I panicked. Believe me, Vex'ahlia, I never wanted you to leave. It feels wrong to ask you for forgiveness, but I could never live if I didn't beg for it."
Her own hand shook too as she reached for his in the thick silence that followed his words. Her throat was tight, and words wouldn't come yet, so she took his cold, clammy hand in hers, clinging tight to it over the white hospital sheets.
"I'm sorry," he repeated, returning her grip just as tightly, until it was almost painful- but the pain of his grasp drew away from the pain in her head, and she held on. "I don't deserve a second chance, but..."
"Oh, fuck that," said Vax, and both of them visibly startled. She'd forgotten, in the heat of this, that her brother was still there, sitting in the shadows. He stood now, frowning, his arms crossed. "What does it matter what we deserve? Do you think she deserves to be in that bed right now?"
" No ," whispered Percy emphatically.
"Did your family deserve to die? Did Trinket deserve to be beat to within a hair of his life?" Vax was ranting a bit now, the pair of them watching him attentively. "You know," he added, "I sure as fuck don't deserve Keyleth. I don't even deserve to have met her, ever. I'm a shit but for some reason, she likes me. And I'm not going to toss that away." He had paced to the door now, and stopped there.
"I lost my point somewhere in the middle of that," he said, and Vex almost smiled, "but if we try to live by what we deserve, we'll all get nothing but suffering." Vax let out a long breath. "Now I'm going to go get some food and talk to the doctors, and you two better figure this shit out before I get back." With that, he stalked out the door. Vex could hear him grumbling a few steps down the hall, and if this had been any other situation, she might have laughed.
Instead, she turned her gaze from the doorway back to Percy, who was already staring at her. She squeezed his hand. He squeezed back.
"I don't know what else to say," admitted Percy.
God, she didn't either. Vex had been talked back into bad relationships before. She'd faced a man pleading on his knees and promising to be better, if she'd just take him back. It'd never been a good idea, but she'd continued to talk herself into it over and over. Then, she'd allowed her brain to override the fears in her heart, her instincts warning her against it.
Now, it felt like her heart was the one trying to prod her brain into some sense.
"Percy," Vex said softly, "I can't lift my head off this pillow."
He frowned, confused.
"That means," she clarified, "if you want to kiss me, you have to come to me."
His eyes widened like a starving man offered a scrap of bread, and he scrambled out of the chair to get to her side. He leaned over her, eyes flickering over her face, and paused. "Are you sure-?"
Still too far for her to reach him, but her hand was free now- Vex reached up, grabbed the collar of his jacket, and pulled his face down to hers. They collided a bit too hard, and she felt the tremor vividly through her skull, but his cold lips felt like holy water on her burning mouth.
When she finally let him pull away, Vax was standing back in the doorway, coffee in hand and a smirk on his face.
Days later when she was finally allowed out of the hospital, Vex was supported on one side by her brother, and clung tightly to Percy on her other side.