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She could sense rain in the air, but the night still felt pleasant enough so Nami didn’t bother to move from her position under the tangerine grove. It was the place she always went to when she needed to calm down. The aroma of the fruits mixed delightfully with the smell of salt and dampness in the air. She sighed deeply, not really aware that she did, trying to stop her brain from running wild.
It was the night after they left Punk Hazard, and an uneasy feeling she had expected to leave her by now instead seemed to have settled into her very skin. She tried to direct her thoughts away from her problem and instead wondered about the kids and hoped that Tashigi would be able to bring them to Vegapunk like she had promised. Most likely they hadn’t even made it to another island yet, but at least they were in safe hands. She briefly wondered what would have happened if they hadn’t found the children and the thought makes her pull her legs closer to her body, clenching the fabric of her jeans. Then she thinks about how the children had pleaded for help, and before she knew it his face was back in her mind and the thoughts she tried to suppress to begin with came back along with it. Nami didn’t know why it bothered her so much, but it did.
She tried to relax and got up to lean over the railing, closing her eyes, but it was hard not to stray back to the subject she very much tried to avoid. The waves were hitting the hull with loud splashes and the wind was picking up. It seemed they had a quite rough night ahead of them. Nami had only been standing there for a little less than a minute when she felt some tension leave her body, and she briefly wondered why. Then the smell of tobacco hit her and for a moment Nami was back in Kokoyashi. She turned and saw how the source of the scent appeared before her from the deck below. He must have just finished cleaning up in the kitchen. Nami wasn’t sure if she was glad or terrified to see Sanji, but her heart didn’t feel like normal that was for certain.
“Nami-san is everything alright?” Nami faked a small smile and shook her head no. “I’m fine, just lost in thought.” It was partly true, but Sanji didn’t buy it, she could tell by the subtle frown that followed her answer. He was always scarily good at reading her, but she was grateful that he didn’t pry.
She expected him to either leave her alone or ask her if she wanted anything from the kitchen, but instead he simply took one last drag of his cigarette before tossing it into the black waves below them. Even though a small part of her wanted him to talk she enjoyed the silence. It was the same part that couldn’t help but notice the worried expression in his eyes as he leaned against the railing and lit up a new smoke. She blamed him for her mood to begin with, though she had a hard time pinpointing exactly what that mood was. If he tried to push her it would be easy to act annoyed and just storm off, but Nami could tell that wasn’t going to happen.
Sanji stayed quiet and Nami knew she wouldn’t be able to keep her thoughts to herself, she never could, and her blond nakama knew it too. He was delicate and patient in a way that you at first wouldn’t expect about someone like Sanji, but Nami had noticed little by little how much she appreciated this part of his character. She wasn’t sure if it was a side he only showed her, but selfishly she sometimes wished that was the case.
Nami wasn’t sure when she’d started to think differently about Sanji. When her eyes had started to linger and her thoughts had started to wander. She knew that her heart had skipped a beat when she saw him again for the first time in two years. Maybe absence really does make the heart grow fonder? It wasn’t something that had taken her by surprise when she realized it, but she had been quite annoyed with herself, and most of the time she tried to pretend nothing had changed. But it had, and no matter how much she tried to deny it, if she was being honest small changes kept happening all the time. That was how it had always been between the two of them; she just hadn’t paid attention before. They had just gradually happened without her noticing things were different until she was already used to it. But it was also a frightening thing, because with change comes the unknown. And right now she felt like she was dangerously close to some kind of tipping point.
She caught herself staring at him again and sighs at her own failure to seem fine, which made Sanji look at her as if trying to read her mind. Nami had to look away from his piercing blue eyes and picked a tangerine to have something to occupy her hands with. It’s as she finishes peeling it that Sanji breaks the silence, surprising her.
“I want to apologize.” He says it as if it’s something that has been on his mind for a while, and Nami gets a puzzled expression, she can’t remember anything he would have to be sorry about. Sanji seems to notice her confusion and explains further. “For when, you know…” He throws her a glance, but doesn’t quite catch her eyes. ”I should have treated your body better.” Nami doesn’t get it right away, but it dawns on her that he must have been thinking about what happened on the island of ice and fire too. She turns to face him properly even though he was still looking out over the sea.
“You mean when you were inside me?” She knew right away that her choice of words sounded wrong. His reaction was instant. Sanji’s eyes widened, he coughed as he almost swallowed his cigarette and she could see a small blush light up his fair skin. “Not like that you idiot!” She hit him over the head as she could sense her own face heat up. Sanji was holding back a nosebleed and Nami felt embarrassed. “Pervert. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Of course not, Nami-san.” He smiled reassuringly, now sporting a big bump after her hit. But at least he seemed to have avoided spilling any blood. Chopper would be pleased. Somehow her little blunder seemed to have lightened the mood and after calming down Sanji seemed to be able to talk with more ease. “Either way, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so reckless in your body.” Sanji continued. Nami knew he was sincere, but she honestly didn’t think it was that serious. She’d learned from Brook that Sanji had dove in to save the samurai, which is why he had removed her coat. She’d almost felt bad about hitting him after hearing that. She pulled off a white string from her tangerine and threw it over board. “Sanji-kun, if anyone, I should be the one apologizing.” That got him to turn fully towards her with an expression of dismay, and she knew he’d deny the statement. So she decided to continue first, before he had a chance to protest. ”Your body got badly wounded because of me.” It was a simple statement of fact. She glanced at Sanji’s forehead where a small band aid was half visible under his bangs and she could see his features change from upset to loving in a split second.
“Aaah, Nami-swan is so cute when you’re being all worried.” She knew she should deny it and hit him over the head, adding another bump to the one he’d already gotten, but instead she felt herself involuntarily blush again. She cursed her body’s reaction. “So what if I’m worried?” She said it like a challenge and the heart-eyes Sanji had been sporting instantly turned normal, perhaps even a little bewildered, but he didn’t say anything.
“I know your body is strong. I’m alive because of it, but just look at you… It’s my fault you got this hurt.” It had really bothered her. She knew first hand now how strong Sanji’s body was, but she couldn’t help but feel guilty. She’d heard him ask Chopper for some ice for his leg and she’d noticed a small limp as he’d scurried around the kitchen earlier while making them all a midnight snack. The guilt she had felt had made it hard to eat.
“I’m glad it was my body taking that damage. Nami-san, you have nothing to feel bad about.” Of course she knew he would feel like that, but in the end if anything that just made it worse. She’d once again realized just how far he was willing to go for her sake. She put down the since long peeled tangerine in her hand and took a few steps towards the unsuspecting chef. Sanji eyed her warily and he probably thought she was about to punch him again. Instead Nami’s arms reach out and grab his white dress shirt, her body following until her head rested against his chest. Her head was bent just to fit under his chin, and even though she hadn’t thought the night air to be chilly she clung to his body for heat. At first the blond didn’t seem to know what to do, but as Nami started to sniffle against him, his arms soon came down to circle her body. She noticed he was very careful not to let his hands wander and the thought made her chuckle through the tears. This was the same man who had been in her body not 42 hours ago, and who’d wasted no time enjoying “his” temporary assets. She didn’t think she’d ever understand him. He let his hand rest on her hair, stroking down her back soothingly, and Nami relaxed in his hold.
“What’s wrong Nami?” The drop of the suffix seemed to happen more often lately, Nami had noted, but only when they were alone. She drew back to look up at him, but she didn’t let go of his clothes. Nami didn’t want to separate from him now that she was in his arms; it felt even better than what she’d imagined. His blue worried eyes met hers, and she knew she was trapped. She’d been able to hold out through Fishman Island, but apparently her resolve couldn’t last any longer. Not knowing what to say, the words that left her mouth were the first thing she could think of, a thought she’d had in the back of her head for almost two years. “I’ve missed you.”
The meaning behind her words hung between them and the very air seemed to have turned electric. They were so close, and she could feel his heart-rate pick up, or maybe it was hers? She couldn’t tell them apart anymore. He seemed uncertain about how to react to her behavior, but Nami could see him glance down to her lips. A fluttering in her stomach and a weird warm sensation washed over her as she found herself copying Sanji, glancing at him in return as she wetted her lips. She knew it had to come from her; he would never risk taking the first step, not without permission. Slowly she stood or her tip-toes to close the last distance between them and their lips met. It was warm and soft; Sanji bending his neck to meet her with a little more pressure after knowing this was what she wanted. She could taste the tobacco and to her surprise she found the taste rather pleasant. The kiss was tender and Nami couldn’t understand why she’d stopped herself from enjoying this sooner. They both seemed to want more, and Nami opened her mouth inviting Sanji to deepen the kiss. He did and a chill went down her spine. It felt so good Nami knew she wouldn’t be the first one to pull away, and when Sanji finally did she instantly felt cold at the loss of his lips.
They were both breathing heavily, their breaths mixed together, visible in the chilly night air. Sanji looked at her as if he couldn’t decide whether what just happened had been real or not, and Nami knew how it felt. A second later the heart-eyes had taken over and Nami almost felt like slapping the silly grin off his face. “Nami-swaaaaan~!” Before she had time to think her fist connected with his head once again, slamming him down on the deck. She couldn’t help it, it was practically a reflex by now. Still he didn’t seem to complain, and when she decided that maybe she’d overreacted and helped him stand again, also keeping hold of his hand, he definitely didn’t complain. In fact, Nami didn’t think she’d ever seen him happier, and the warmth of his hand seemed to seep right into her, warming her whole being. Nami knew then that she couldn’t stop things from changing, and that she’d been a fool for even trying. This was something she wanted, and she was done pretending otherwise. Before any second guesses could fly through her brain, she pulled him close once more and caught his lips with her own. Nami smiled as he responded. Yes, she thought; this change was definitely a good thing.