Work Text:
While Kageyama didn't have much interest in romance in the first place, he had expected his own experience with it, if the time ever came at all, to be a gradual realisation, and then a smooth transition into lovers with whoever captured his heart. So when the fact that it was both Tsukishima and Nishinoya which had made him fall - and hard at that - was revealed to him, he was thrown off to say the least. Maybe saying that it felt as if a tonne of bricks were dropped from the top of Tokyo Tower onto Kageyama's head would be a more accurate description.
Perhaps with hindsight, the romantic development of his relationships with both players was inevitable, and quite clear to those around him, if the fact that it was pointed out to the setter by Hinata and Yamaguchi as well as being confirmed by other members of the team was anything to go by.
It was during a seemingly regular lunch time when Kageyama received his romantic life changing revelation, where the first years of the volleyball club were sitting around a group of pushed together desks. Tsukishima had been on duty that day and was summoned for assistance in preparation for the upcoming lesson; Hinata and Yamaguchi saw this as a chance to act on one of their recent discussions.
"Say, Kageyama," Hinata began as soon as the tall blond left the classroom. Kageyama could already tell from his scheming tone that this wasn't going to be good. "You've been paying a lot of attention towards Noya recently."
Kageyama was about to retort when Yamaguchi chimed in. "And Tsukki as well. Is there anything you wanna reveal to us?"
Kageyama became even more puzzled and suspicious because of Yamaguchi's words. What could he have to admit about his teammates?
"Stop teasing him about it you two," Yachi interjected. "We all know that he hasn't realised."
"Because he's as dense as a rock!" Hinata snickered.
"What was that, dumbass!?"
Yamaguchi tried to hide his amused smile. "Sorry Kageyama, but he's got a point. Have you really not noticed that you've been paying extra attention to Tsukki and Noya? Like not a single bit?"
"You already put quite a lot of attention towards them anyway, but more recently..." Yachi trailed off, trying to choose her words carefully as too not embarrass the setter.
Instead Hinata butt in, hands clasped together in mock infatuation while exaggeratedly fluttering his eyelashes and pouting his lips. "You've been making googly eyes at them!"
Yamaguchi finally lost all control over his laughter at the sheer ridiculousness of Hinata's facial expression; even Yachi had to let out a giggle at it. Kageyama would have too if he weren't trying to process what he had just been told. Once the shock wore off, he immediately denied the accusation.
"There's no way I was! Especially not towards that jerk Tsukishima." A flush began to bloom on Kageyama's face from the exertion put into his exclamation and from the growing embarrassment - this only caused the other three giggle even more.
Yamaguchi calmed down and wiped the stray tear that began to form. "Honestly though, Kageyama, you really have been watching them a lot. Like when we were doing receive practice yesterday, you couldn't keep your eyes off of Noya. You even had a small smile on your face when he pulled off a particularly good one!"
"And also during Monday's practice when we focused on blocking," Yachi added. "You did the same thing for Tsukishima! It was quite cute to watch. We've also noticed you giving more compliments to them in particular compared to everyone else, even if you usually pair it with some criticism so it’s harder to spot."
Hinata nodded in agreement, "It's been going on for quite a while now too. Maybe since at least November because that's when Yamaguchi pointed it out to me, and you've probably been doing it way before he noticed too."
Kageyama sputtered. Thinking about it, he could recall feeling proud seeing Nishinoya and Tsukishima pull off successful plays in recent practice sessions and during previous instances too. He also realised that he had been admiring the both of them, not only during a match but in almost any situation. Whether it was because of the sparkling gleam that shone in Nishinoya's eyes or the cool confidence Tsukishima radiated, Kageyama knew he had been completely and utterly enthralled by the two. Kageyama let out a frustrated groan.
When Tsukishima walked back into the classroom, he was met with the sight Kageyama with his face in his hands, a comforting hand from Yachi on his back while the other two were seemingly giving encouragements to the setter but were also holding back any laughter at whatever was Kageyama's predicament. He didn’t bother questioning what had happened in his absence since the bell signalling the end of lunch rung. As the three non-class 4 students got up to leave for their respective classes, Hinata muttered something to Yamaguchi – a something which sounded an awful lot like “don’t tell him what we talked about, ok?” – paired with a quick glance at Tsukishima, one he would have missed if he weren’t looking straight at the pair. Although he wanted to pry, his interest piqued now, he just raised an eyebrow at his childhood friend before turning towards his own seat – he’d get whatever it was out of Yamaguchi in due time.
••••
Kageyama was definitely oblivious to many things but once he realises something (or in this case, outright told), his mind doesn't let that something go. It usually plagues his mind, almost like a parasite that leeches off of his ability to focus on anything other than the recent revelation. This obviously stopped him from fully concentrating on the remaining two lessons of the day, much to the dismay of the teachers’ already concerned about his performance. Perhaps out of pity, he wasn’t picked on in either lesson but instead he was held back after sixth period ended for a warning; that if he didn’t pick up his slack he may be having a repeat of the summer supplementary lessons. Kageyama earnestly replied that he’d work harder, possibly due to being terrified at the thought of missing more volleyball.
As a result, he was late to practice and the rest of the team had already finished warming up when he entered the gym. Kageyama sincerely apologised for his delay (although with a very vague excuse) to coach Ukai who just dismissed him to start his own warm up on the side – Kageyama was glad he didn’t pry any further into his reason otherwise he may have faced the wrath of Takeda. A voiced called out to him when he was bent down to redo his hastily tied shoelaces after almost tripping up on them in the middle of his stretches.
“Why’re you late, Kageyama? It’s unusual, particularly for you,” Nishinoya queried with a small tilt of his head.
Maybe it was how Nishinoya towered over him, or possibly even because he had been ruminating about his attraction for the libero for the past two hours, but Kageyama’s breath was taken away by the sight before him, hyperaware of every small detail. It seemed as if Nishinoya was glowing, the bright lighting of the gym creating a pseudo halo around him. The soft shadow that fell on his face only served to accentuate the twinkle that lit his eyes and the would-be infectious grin had he not been so dumbstruck. His eyelashes also casted long, delicate shadows down and over his cheeks, which were barely tinged pink, leading Kageyama’s gaze down just beneath the tip of his chin where a faint mole resided – he wondered why he had never noticed it before, or if anyone had, considering its position in relation to most people’s eye levels. A brief flash of giddiness leapt through his mind at the fact that he may be the only one to have noticed, but it was gone before Kageyama could properly realise it. What he did realise though was that his arms felt all tingly and numb, as if his all his nerves panicked because they were so overcome by everything that was Nishinoya.
A loud, but quickly muffled, exclamation broke Kageyama out of whatever reverie he’d been swept up into, one which felt like it had spanned out for minutes but in reality lasted a mere couple of seconds. His eyes darted at the source of the noise – revealing it came from a bouncy Hinata with Tanaka’s hand slapped over his mouth who looked as if he were barely containing his own excitement – but quickly snapped back to the person standing in front of him and offered the same excuse he gave Ukai, only much quieter as he was still mentally reeling back from his mushy thoughts. He then realised that his face was rather warm and hoped to god that it didn’t show, however, considering the reaction from the boisterous orange haired middle blocker, it most likely did.
Whether it was intentional or not, Kageyama’s eyes led him to Tsukishima as he stood up. The blocker was already turned away from the scene and looked as if he let out a small scoff, playing with the tape around his fingers. It was hard to make out but Kageyama saw a hint of hurt on his face, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. Seeing Tsukishima’s expression like that caused a sharp twinge of guilt to course through Kageyama – was he the one to cause that? Again, he felt a slight numbness, but not from happiness this time. His own face fell too but it wasn’t noticeable enough for anyone to point it out.
Kageyama mentally slapped himself. He decided to push everything out of his head to concentrate on practice for now; he can’t start slacking off because of something like this. After all, he could properly think about this over the weekend, and what a long weekend it was going to be for him.
••••
After leaving the school grounds and parting ways with the rest of the team, Kageyama carried out the rest of his evening in a sort of daze, the events of the day constantly replaying in his mind. It was a whirlwind of emotions for the poor boy, being unable to decide whether he was happy to have these crushes or not. Not to mention having two at the same time; he wished he could’ve been normal and had only one but with the bursts of elation just seeing the two brought him, he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. He began to ponder about his thoughts on the two individually.
Of course his and Tsukishima’s relationship was still fraught with snide jabs and petty arguments that could get out of hand on occasion, but there was a strange friendship between the two. It was a work in progress but they had already put their initial hostility behind them and both begun to appreciate, or even become fond of, the presence of the other, regardless of what they may say otherwise to keep up appearances.
As for Kageyama and Nishinoya’s relationship, it had started as mutual respect on the court. Especially with Kageyama’s penchant for looking for any way to improve in volleyball, it was no wonder why he often found himself looking at the libero. In the past he would have reasoned to himself that it was just for studying his form during receives to benefit his own, but now he couldn’t say with confidence if that was the sole reason anymore. It didn’t help that with Nishinoya’s personality it was far too easy to warm up to him.
A sudden problem popped up in the middle of his thoughts while thinking about Nishinoya. Was the boy even into other boys? He didn’t know about Tsukishima either for that matter. He hadn’t really paid attention to the love lives of the both of them, not that he would really be able to tell what was going on anyway; Kageyama was as dense as a rock when it came to romantic cues, or even romance itself. In any case, even if they were both interested in boys, that doesn’t mean they were interested in Kageyama.
Kageyama let out a sigh for the umpteenth time that day. This thinking was getting him nowhere but his mind was still adamant on running round in circles for the rest of the night. He only fell asleep when the day’s fatigue finally caught up to him in the early morning hours.
••••
The following day was much like the previous evening, although Kageyama did manage to collect enough concentration to finish his homework for the next week – he considered it both a miracle and a blessing being able to distract himself even if it was for only a couple hours.
Afterwards, Kageyama laid down on his bed and picked up his volleyball to toss up and down above his head. He often did this to clear his head while simultaneously put in a small amount of ball handling practice – truthfully it didn’t help that much with his actual skill but it was still nice to hold the ball.
Unfortunately for Kageyama, this activity didn’t help so much in clearing his head this time; instead, he began mentally wandering in various daydreams including two certain players. Surprisingly (or perhaps not so much at this point), he found himself enjoying it, a fluffy feeling filling his chest whether it was the thought of having practice with them on Monday, going on silly dates like a picnic, or just simply being near them. However when the thought of holding hands with them popped up in his mind, he got so flustered that he dropped the ball on his face. He tried to get back to something less embarrassing but his mind drifted back to mushier, affectionate things like snuggling together or soft kisses, and he once again felt the smack of leather against his nose. The cycle repeated a further three times before Kageyama had enough.
Dragging himself into an upright position, he grabbed his phone to text Yamaguchi.
“gd song? ??”
“4 run????”
Kageyama busied himself in changing into some more suitable clothes and filling a water bottle. When he got back to his room, his text tone of a Tetris sound effect chimed – he set it to this with the help of Yachi as a way to wind up Yamaguchi since he had developed a distain for Tetris and its music after having to sit through countless hours of Kageyama playing the wretched puzzle game. He was surprisingly good at it.
“Here’s a good playlist” Yamaguchi attached a link to a 45 minute long playlist. He skimmed over the songs but didn’t recognise any; he wasn’t much into music anyway. However, he had trust Yamaguchi’s music taste to be good so he replied with a quick “thnk u”, grabbed his headphones, and was out the door.
It was in fact a really well-crafted playlist. It had begun with some slower paced songs to match the tempo of a warmup jog, and gradually progressed into fast tracks with powerful beats, ones which manage to make you so pumped that you felt like you were ready to take on the world. Finally, the rhythm calmed again, indicating it was time to also slow to a cool down pace. Many of the songs were in different languages, the majority being in English, which allowed Kageyama to really empty his mind by focusing purely on the unspoken emotions the songs portrayed without being distracted by lyrics. He would definitely be using this playlist on future runs.
By the end of the final song, Kageyama had ended up by the park nearby to his house. He saw a group of tiny, brown birds. He didn’t what species they were but he had seen them around before but was never able to get close enough to take a good look at them since they always fled whenever he got anywhere near them. However, one lone bird started jumping towards Kageyama. This was the closest he had ever got to a bird! It excited him immensely but at the same time he felt nervous about being around small animals since, from previous experience, he figured that they all disliked him. He staggered back slightly, not wanting to get too close in fear of somehow hurting the creature, despite the fact that it was still too far to even reach with his foot. When the bird stopped and tilted its teeny head at Kageyama, he was locked onto its shiny, black eyes. It was so adorable Kageyama almost forgot to breathe.
His conscious suddenly linked the bird in front of him to a certain upperclassmen that had been on the forefront of his mind lately. With the enthusiastic movements, disregard for possible scary threats, and its effortless cuteness, it wasn’t difficult for him to make a connection. The groan that rumbled in his throat into his hands startled the bird and its companions enough that they flew away. A sigh then slipped out and he lightly jogged back to his house. The sweat he had accumulated had begun to cool and he wanted to get away from it as soon as possible now that his brief distraction had passed.
After locking the door and stepping into the genkan, he saw a notification from Yamaguchi. He must have sent a message when Kageyama had already started running so he didn’t see it.
“Forgot to mention, that playlist was put together by Tsukki, good wasn’t it?”
“You should text him a thanks ;))”
Kageyama instinctively grimaced at the mention of Tsukishima, and it deepened when he realised what Yamaguchi was trying to do. He didn’t need any more prodding from his friends to make a move on his crushes; he could handle them perfectly by himself. He angrily stamped out a response.
“SSTP? ??”
“DNT NEED U TELLIN ME THT”
Kageyama knew the freckled boy would probably be snickering on the other side of his phone when he saw the message but he didn’t care; he’d already had enough teasing in person.
In spite of his initial reaction, he did start considering sending a quick message to the blond. While wandering around his home looking for menial tasks, such as rearranging the bookshelf, to do after he had changed out of his running gear, he listed the pros, cons, and possible outcomes.
The worst that could happen is that could happen is Tsukishima holding it over him as some sort of twisted black mail. It would be difficult but Kageyama had no doubt that he was clever enough to find a way if he wanted. On the other hand, it would be a step in getting closer with him, perhaps he could even eventually suss out whether Tsukishima held genuine interest in him or if he was merely toying with him for the time being – considering his pining was obvious to seemingly everyone including Hinata of all people, it was a possibility that Tsukishima had also noticed and was using him as a form of entertainment. Reasonably, Kageyama didn’t see Tsukishima doing much more than maybe some light teasing. While it did set him off in the moment, Kageyama knew that it wasn’t mean spirited at this point. Also if all went well enough, he could get more links to playlists composed by the blond. One thing that he would openly admit about Tsukishima is that he had a good taste in music.
Taking in a deep breath, he pulled out his phone and hovered over Tsukishima’s contact entry. He had a small emoji next to his name after Yamaguchi said he needed to personalise his phone a bit more – that’s also the reason why all the first years had ended up placing matching dog stickers on their phones – Kageyama wasn’t entirely sure what it was; some type of reptile? He never found out how it related to Tsukishima but left it there anyway.
Laid down surrounded by a pile of half sorted books, he started typing but quickly erased whatever he wrote. It was nerve wracking trying to text a crush that you didn’t have the best relationship with, especially considering Tsukishima didn’t seem much inclined towards texting anyway. As he finally started writing a fairly decent message, his phone fell out of his hands – the slippery devil of a device – and hit his mouth, clacking painfully against his teeth. Once the initial pain subsided and Kageyama checked he didn’t sustain any permanent damage, he saw that the start of his message along with a string of random characters had been sent. Kageyama immediately scrambled to explain before Tsukishima saw the one text by itself.
“SRY DROPPED MY PHNE ON MY FACE”
“meant to say i listend to ur running playlst”
“not bad 4 some1 like u”
“send m mor????”
With the small spike in fear fading, he realised he had actually texted Tsukishima. A garbled sound escaped from his mouth into the carpet – the nervousness returned but along with a slight buzz he couldn’t really explain. It was a similar sensation to whenever he stepped onto the court, but he tried not to dwell too much on the significance of it. However, the predominant emotion was still anxiety, and so he got up to get a glass of water to try and remove the phantom feeling of a glob of anticipation blocking his throat and threatening to choke him.
When he didn’t receive a reply after the soothing drink and clearing up the mess of books he made, he returned to his room. He decided to distract himself with a few rounds of Tetris, his go-to game whenever he was bored. Successfully, he managed to get entirely engrossed, even nearly reaching his personal high score on a couple rounds, so when his phone suddenly rumbled with a notification banner appearing at the top of his screen, he nearly jolted out of his chair. He had forgotten he was expecting a text back in the time that passed – a fair amount considering it was now getting dark outside.
“First, learn how to type so normal people can actually understand you. Second, I’m so honoured that the king has turned towards a peasant like me for music. It is truly a privilege.”
“r u gonna send m some or not? ??”
“Have you ever heard of a certain magic word that starts with a ‘p’?”
Kageyama scowled at the text. It took him a couple minutes to figure out what he was getting at, but once he realised he mentally kicked himself – it was so obvious. However, as his fingers were flying across the keys, his phone pinged again.
“Don’t fry your tiny brain thinking too much. You should be able to get to all of the playlists I’ve put together through the link Yamaguchi sent you since my account is linked to the playlist, but here’s a direct link, just for you.”
“jsyk i do know tht pls is the ‘magic wrd’”
“ty tho”
Kageyama hesitated for a moment, debating whether he should send something else, but he continued before he could think about it too much.
“that playlist is rlly good btw, not jst ok”
“gd job”
He then proceeded to fiercely stuff his phone under his pillow and buried his face in it, strangely embarrassed that he gave a direct compliment to Tsukishima. Kageyama did believe that praise should be given when it’s due – and in this case it was – but it still felt odd to do so, especially considering it had nothing to do with volleyball, which was the usual reason for complimenting Tsukishima. If he was acting like this, Kageyama couldn’t imagine how shocked Tsukishima might be at the texts. He might even be weirded out like the first time Kageyama commended him.
Fortunately for Kageyama, he was called down for dinner so he couldn’t mull over the possibilities for too long. Just as he was out of the door, he heard the familiar chime but he resisted returning to look at his phone – it was extremely difficult to do so.
The meal passed as normal, which quite welcome with all the recent head-spinning ruminating he had been doing in such a short time. It was nice to slip back into his normal routine and almost ignore his romance driven thoughts. Kageyama knew he would have to come to some decision about his feelings; how he would go about if he decided to face them or to just bury them as deep as possible. However, for now, he would enjoy the small talk he and his parents made over dinner.
Once he dismissed himself from the table after clearing up, he made a beeline for the bathroom, wanting to delay looking at his phone for a bit longer. Sinking into the warm water was heavenly, especially since he was feeling a slight ache in his muscles, most likely due to rushing his cool down stretches after his run, a mistake he would only regret a little. He revelled in the soothing sensation, almost melting into the bathtub. Perhaps he got a little too lost in the feeling when he was jolted out of his lull in thought when his mother knocked on the door to tell him he had been in the bath for too long. Kageyama looked down at his hands and saw that his fingertips were starting to prune.
Hair still damp, he entered his room, gingerly approaching his bed and reaching for his phone. As expected, a notification from Tsukishima was displayed on the screen. There was one text.
“Thanks, Kageyama.”
While a little underwhelming in all honesty, Kageyama didn’t know how to interpret this message; being so short without anything like Yamaguchi’s emoticons or Hinata’s liberal use of punctuation meant it was difficult to correctly determine the tone Tsukishima was giving. It was also strange that he had decided to use his name. It wasn’t often that he used names at all in his speech, with the exception of Yamaguchi, even more so with Kageyama. For the majority of the time, he referred to Kageyama with insults intended to rile him up – it was all that Kageyama had heard from the blond anyway. Maybe it was his way of expressing his sincerity? He wasn’t sure, but considering it was the most likely explanation Kageyama could think of, it made him a little fuzzy inside that Tsukishima would accept his compliment without the usual sarcastic remarks. He then thought that maybe, just maybe, Tsukishima actually appreciated all of Kageyama’s words of encouragement, despite how indirect many of them were, using his sharp tongue as a means of defending the impression he tried to give everyone of himself. Tsukishima had been less venomous with his words compared to their first meeting, but it still felt like a far-fetched theory to the setter.
Putting those thoughts to the side for now, Kageyama decided to actually look through the various playlists that Tsukishima composed. There were a lot more than he expected to be. Leisurely scrolling through the page, he took a mental note of the names of lists that piqued his interest, until he reached one named “なんだか眠れない” – “I can’t seem to sleep”. From the title he guessed that it was a playlist intended to help you fall asleep and while Kageyama often had no trouble dozing off, he thought there was no harm in listening to it. It was late after all so he needed to go to bed soon anyway.
After padding out of his room to wish his parents goodnight, he flicked the lights off and climbed into bed. His headphones weren’t the most comfortable things to wear to sleep but he would deal with it for the night for soothing music that started to flow out of them. With the exception of a couple of songs, one being the first song which reminded him of the rhythm game Yamaguchi often played – Kageyama told himself that he would check if it really was from there in the morning – the playlist was composed of lyric-less melodies, meshing together easily and quickly lulled the boy to sleep.
Maybe it was a fluke but when Kageyama woke up the next morning, he felt as if he were more refreshed than usual.
••••
Sunday passed relatively peacefully for Kageyama, but he had finally made up his mind on one thing after much more collected thinking. He couldn’t continue to be as distracted as he had been recently around his teammates-turned-crushes; it wouldn’t just be him suffering if it got any worse. Not only would his plays be generally less skilful than expected of him, it could lead to injury. A minor scratch or bruise would be nothing, but anything more might end up becoming fatal for the upcoming especially with Inter High looming around the corner. If anything, he should be pushing any and all distractions to focus on practice, not adding to them.
Kageyama nodded resolutely once he settled on his current plan of action. He would try his damned hardest to ignore these fluffy feelings.
••••
The weeks pass and while he did have a great deal struggling with them in the beginning, acting very stiffly and fleeing from any contact with the objects of his infatuation if possible, Kageyama found it easier to push away his romantic thoughts, or at least to not be so outwardly flustered when they popped up; it definitely helped that it was a busy period for everyone and time for his mind to go awry was scarce. Of course they still caught him off guard from time to time, causing a stray train of thought here or a wayward ball from a poor play there, but it was easier. Personally, Kageyama thought he was doing great for his first time at the whole situation but with Kageyama’s only point of reference being the shoujo manga Yachi read, which he liked to pick up occasionally as well, he wasn’t as smooth as he believed he was being.
In reality, it was almost horribly obvious to anyone that observed for just five minutes that something was up between three in question. Even after all those weeks since Kageyama’s decision, he still pointedly refused to look at the libero and blocker more than absolutely necessary, initially going as far as to turn his head away or move away completely – Kageyama had developed from that to averting his eyes instead, but it was only a little more subtle.
Needless to say, it had alarmed the rest of the team but in the end, the majority of them had left Kageyama to his own devices to sort it out. With the stubborn boy being so tight-lipped, there was no way of getting it out of him much to everyone’s chagrin. The majority of the strain it had initially put on the team’s synergy during matches had mostly disappeared within the first couple of days, but there was a strange pressure exerted on everyone to just get something to happen – it wasn’t enjoyable seeing your teammates under such tension and endure the quiet suffering.
Speculative murmurs flittered around the second and third year members as well as some pushing (both verbal and physical) for Nishinoya to approach Kageyama again after his first failed attempt at coaxing out the problem. On the other hand, the uninvolved first years collectively agreed after one too many slipped sighs from Kageyama, who probably didn’t even realise he was playing the part of a lovesick boy to a tee during his lapses in concentration, to convince him to face his problem head on.
“This has gone on for way too long, Kageyama!” Hinata started after dragging Kageyama out of his class as soon as the lunch time bell rung. He began leading him to the courtyard where the Yamaguchi and Yachi agreed to meet. “We all thought you’d give in sooner or later and talk to Tsukishima and Noya about it because that’s just you – you’re always act first, think later – so we thought you’d be ok.”
“This,” Hinata wildly gestured towards Kageyama’s person. “Isn’t like you at all. Acting all shy and avoiding them. I bet you haven’t even noticed that they’re really bothered by this with you pretty much pretending they don’t exist.” Kageyama’s frown deepened at that comment. Of course he had noticed – there was no way he couldn’t have since this was hurting Kageyama as much as it Nishinoya and Tsukishima. He so desperately wanted to get rid of the awful feeling that rose up in his throat whenever he caught a glimpse of the either of the two’s facial expression as he retreated from them. It was harder to catch with Tsukishima, but when he did it felt like a knife was being slowly twisted in his heart, especially with how a couple of weeks in Tsukishima had appeared to have given up trying to approach him – it made Kageyama doubt any of the pleasant interactions they had were actually genuine if Tsukishima seemed to be doing mostly fine without him. Nishinoya had still been trying to reach out to the setter, but each failed attempt brought a different kind of pain. The enthusiasm Nishinoya displayed every time they crossed paths became more and more diluted after each instance, until it was extremely forced when he was ultimately blown off. That kind of look didn’t belong on his face, usually bright and bubbly which lifted those around him, and Kageyama so desperately wanted to reach out and wipe the sorry excuse for a smile off his face, but he could never build the courage to do so.
Both cases made his resolve weaken from its already fragile state and the number of times he was almost tempted into throwing away this act was infinite. Perhaps his resolve had already fallen apart but the only reason he didn’t act was because of fear. The nights were excruciatingly long when he had ended up in the trap of thought, the haze of wintry darkness outside his window only furthering the sombre atmosphere. His mind was always able to conjure up one reason or another for why he should no longer try and pursue his romantic interests, each and every one leading to even more distress if he did. Somehow he had convinced himself that he would be fine alone, that he could handle being without the two, that he didn’t deserve to have them anyway. It was ironic that Kageyama had regressed back to his old self that believed he was better off by himself, only now he actually didn’t want to be.
Kageyama hadn’t responded to Hinata’s comment due to becoming lost in thought, but Hinata didn’t point it out after seeing that his expression had become wistful, deciding that it would be better to wait for the others’ aid.
Yamaguchi and Yachi were already present in the pre-planned meeting spot, one of the more secluded areas of the courtyard for privacy despite it already being barren of people because of the biting cold. Unfortunately for her, Yachi had her back turned to the direction the pair was coming from, so Hinata had the perfect opportunity to launch a surprise attack on her. He immediately moved into his pseudo combat mode, steps silent and light, and tugged on Kageyama’s sleeve to do the same – he automatically did so, knowing that following along with the orange-haired boy’s antics was the best option. When Yamaguchi made eye contact with them as they approached, Hinata held a finger across his lips, motioning for him to act oblivious. Against his will, Yamaguchi let a tiny smile slip but continued to keep Yachi’s attention on him without rousing her suspicions about the boys behind her. When Hinata got close enough, he firmly placed his hands on her shoulders while simultaneously shouting beside her ear.
“Boo!”
Yachi startled with a small shriek and would have possibly tripped on her own feet in shock if Hinata didn’t have a steady grip on her. After calming down her fight-or-flight reflex, she lightly slapped Hinata’s arm, telling him to stop making her jump every time he found the opportunity to. However, her words held no malice as a grin graced her face, laughing lightly along with Yamaguchi and Hinata. Even Kageyama couldn’t stop his lips curving up slightly at the sight of his friends.
“Ah,” Yamaguchi suddenly blurted. “He finally smiled!” and all the attention was drawn away from Yachi to Kageyama.
“It feels like it’s been so long!” Yachi said, her expression melting into relief.
Hinata hummed to agree. “Even though it’s a little scary at times, it’s a lot better than the glare you’ve had this whole time. You haven’t been this scowl-y since the start of the year.”
“We thought your face would become permanently stuck,” Yamaguchi jokingly supplied. “I’m pretty sure Tsukki and Nishinoya still like you frown-y-ness and all, though.”
At that, Kageyama’s face dropped again. He remembered why he was dragged there in the first place: Tsukishima and Nishinoya. His voice was uncharacteristically meek when he spoke up, eyes searching the ground littered with patches of snow-slush for something to help him get out of the situation.
“How can you be so sure?” It pained the other three how lost he sounded. “I’ve probably messed up any chance I had; if there was one to begin with.”
Yachi led him to sit down on the nearby bench, a consoling hand on his back rubbing in circles.
“That’s not true at all, Kageyama. Feelings don’t go away so easily – as you’ve probably found out in these weeks-” Kageyama gave a small nod in confirmation. “And that goes for those two as well. I’m sure – we all are – that they want to fix this much as you do so you can’t keep pushing them away like this. It’s scary but that’s why we’re here to support you.”
Yamaguchi’s hand on Kageyama’s shoulder clenched slightly to grab his attention as he began to speak.
“It doesn’t have to be anything big at the moment; it might be better if it wasn’t, to be honest. But you need to start somewhere, or things will get worse,” The freckled boy directed a soft, reassuring smile at Kageyama. “Even just looking at them in the eye again would be a thousand times better than blatantly ignoring them like you’ve been doing lately.”
A pair of hands coming to rest on his knees drew his gaze from his clenched fists in his lap to Hinata who had squatted in front of him.
“Listen to us, Kageyama. You may be an idiot on how to interact with people sometimes but you know that this is what you should do.” Hinata’s eyes bore into Kageyama’s, the intensity strangely encouraging – it sometimes amazed Kageyama how much faith he had in him – yet also sharply accusing, furthering his point that Kageyama knew what he should have done since the beginning.
Kageyama’s eyes quickly flittered to each of them and then returned to his lap. This coming from his friends made it somewhat easier for Kageyama to believe, much more so than the tiny part of him which hoped for the best that was shut out by the pessimistic droning that previously plagued his mind. He took a minute to fully process the words of guidance he’d been given, leaving the three around him waiting patiently, but with baited breath for his response.
The setter took in a deep breath and released it slowly. “You guys are right. I feel like I can try it at least.”
“That’s the Kageyama we know and love,” Hinata exclaimed and gave a playful slap to Kageyama’s knee, probably with too much force since Kageyama ground his knuckles into his head in return.
“Ow! That hurt!”
“Yeah, well so did that slap, idiot!”
“That doesn’t mean you had to do that, stupid!”
“Don’t hit me in the first place then, you moron!”
“Jerk!”
There was no heat in the insults that they threw out; it was just their usual back and forth that, honestly speaking, Kageyama and Hinata had almost missed having recently.
“Alright, break it up you two,” Yamaguchi jokingly ordered. “There’s still some time left before the end of lunch but we should go back inside. I don’t know about you guys but I'm freezing,” he shivered to reinforce his point.
They all stood up, Hinata having to stretch out his legs from squatting for some time, but before they started to make their way back inside, Kageyama stopped them all.
“Thanks, you guys. I really needed that,” Kageyama punctuated his gratitude with a bow.
“There’s no need for you to be so formal about it, Kageyama,” Yachi responded, slightly flustered at the display. “Helping each other out is what friends are for.”
When Kageyama straightened, he was met with their gentle smiles, making him feel warm despite the cold nipping at his nose. He was truly grateful for the three looking out for him.
As they neared Yamaguchi and Tsukishima’s classroom, their usual lunch time meeting spot, a thought struck Kageyama.
“Isn’t Tsukishima gonna want to know where we went?”
Yamaguchi waved his hand in dismissal. “It’s fine. Our class rep roped him into helping her sort out the books in the library today – to repay her for her notes or something,” Yamaguchi slid the door open. “He shouldn’t be back yet I thi-” Yamaguchi paused when he saw Tsukishima sitting at his desk with his headphones perched over his ears. “Oh.”
Whether it was because of the sound or seeing them out of the corner of his eye, Tsukishima turned his head towards the other first years and slid the headphones down to rest on his shoulders. “Welcome back.”
Yamaguchi tried to play it cool but it was clear that he was fighting the urge to stutter. “Were you waiting long, Tsukki?”
“Not really,” the freckled boy knew from that response that he had been waiting long enough and had begun to get suspicious. However, before he could produce an excuse, Kageyama strode up to where Tsukishima was sitting and bowed, much deeper than he did earlier.
“I deeply apologise for my behaviour recently.” Kageyama grit out semi-awkwardly. Tsukishima was stunned into a momentary silence, a couple of the other students in the classroom murmuring at the scene. Hinata hissed out a quiet “what happened to small steps” but it fell on deaf ears as Kageyama tensely waited.
“I didn’t know the king had such vocabulary in his repertoire.” Tsukishima managed eventually, still rather thrown off by the sudden apology.
Kageyama lifted his head slightly to give Tsukishima a confused and slightly annoyed expression. “What does ‘repertoire’ even mean?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Tsukishima snickered. He then added on so quietly that only Kageyama would hear, “but apology accepted,” and he put his noise-cancellers back over his ears. In return, Kageyama directed his excited, wobbly smile he couldn’t contain because of the joy rising through him at Tsukishima. While he tried to feign nonchalance turning away slight and propping his chin up with his arm, Tsukishima had a smile of his own hidden beneath his palm.
Kageyama quickly stood and mumbled quickly to his friends that he’d be right back.
“Where are you going though, Kageyama?” Yachi called out after him.
“Second year floor,” Kageyama shot back and he was out the door.
After seeking him out by asking several other second years, his apology to Nishinoya turned out similarly to Tsukishima’s, only with Nishinoya openly beaming him his grin.
While he headed back to his own classroom, he heard the bursts of noise Nishinoya and Tanaka were making as they spoke to each other about what just happened but paid no attention to it, instead basking in the lightness of his chest. Kageyama finally realised the true weight that confronting Tsukishima and Nishinoya had on himself and was glad that he finally did it. He would have to thank Yamaguchi, Yachi, and Hinata once more when he got the chance.
••••
The subsequent practice had a much livelier atmosphere with the tension having been dissipated – the rest of the team released a collective sigh of relief. They were all glad that nothing as drastic as the incident with Nishinoya and Asahi during the previous year had happened as well as being pleased with the fact that their teammates were back to their regular selves.
At times it became a little awkward again, but now that Kageyama had his goal of slowly building up his relationships with the two in mind, it was much easier on the three boys. Of course, Kageyama still stumbled with his poorly disguised stares of admiration and clumsily delivered compliments. No amount of practicing in the mirror in the morning could help with that – he had stopped after the first few instances anyway after being caught by his mother; his faced burned for hours after that.
Eventually, with the help from advising parties (Yamaguchi, Yachi, Hinata, and even Sugawara at one point much to Kageyama’s embarrassment), Kageyama built up the confidence to just start thinking about actually asking them out. It was nerve-wracking for the poor boy; he didn’t want to mess up again due to his poor choices. He had almost run himself in mental circles again before realising that he could consult the ‘love doctors’ as Hinata dubbed the trio – Yamaguchi and Yachi disagreed vehemently when he first proposed the moniker but there was no stopping Hinata once he latched onto something. In the end, the both tried to embrace it but still cringed every time it was used.
“a date!!! U shld invite them out on a date :OO!” Hinata started excitedly once Kageyama brought up the topic in the group chat they had.
“Isn’t a bit early for that though?” Yachi questioned. “Shouldn’t he ask properly if they want to date first??”
“sorry hinata but I agree w/ yachi on this;;”
“tsukki def would prefer that anyway”
“-3- thts no fun”
“They’ll go on dates eventually! Just not yet.”
Kageyama watched the messages pop up in quick succession.
“HW DO I DO IT THO? ??”
“just ask ;D”
“lmao jst ask to speak to them aftr practice or smth”
“Be yourself and it’ll go great!”
“fight kageyama!!!!”
“you’ve got this !!”
He really had to go through now, didn’t he?
••••
The next day Kageyama was a little bit out of sorts, to say the least. He woke up late, realised he had mismatching socks when he got to school, and he crashed his shoulder into the doorway as he tried to walk into the classroom to give some examples. They were fairly minor things but it felt like bad omens piled on top of more bad omens – he wouldn’t let that deter him, though, not now that he got this far. His determination could only get him so far in trying to suppress the violently fluttering butterflies in his stomach.
Kageyama walked into the clubroom after school extremely stiffly once the final bell rung. He had been on edge all day – he couldn’t even make proper conversation at lunch earlier and quietly brooded over what was to come. Even with Yachi trying to subtly take his mind off of it, if only briefly, he still felt wound tight. So when he actually saw the two currently causing his distress, he had to fight the great urge to just bolt out the door he just entered. He gulped and took a shaky breath before calling.
“Nishinoya, Tsukishima. C-could I talk to you outside?” Despite the small stutter, it came out much better than Kageyama was expecting. He was meant to ask for after the day’s practice for their time, but he couldn’t take back what he confused in the mess of his mind so he had to go with it – a slight change in plan, but nothing he couldn’t handle, Kageyama reasoned with himself as a way of calming down.
The room was silent as everyone’s eyes were drawn to either Kageyama or the two being questioned.
“Like right now?” Nishinoya asked, putting down the shirt he was about to change into before Kageyama’s request. Kageyama nodded.
“This better not be for something stupid,” Tsukishima muttered as he picked himself off the floor where he was digging through his bag, but otherwise didn’t complain. He avoided any attempts of eye contact that the other in the room tried to make, especially from Yamaguchi, who would immediately be able to tell that he was feeling much more jittery and uneasy than he let off – his eyes were truly a window to his soul for Tsukishima and Yamaguchi was an expert at reading what he saw inside them.
When they both headed towards the door, Kageyama almost couldn’t believe that they went with him without asking what the purpose for the summoning was for. A part of him had prepared to confess in front of the rest of the team if he was questioned – he swallowed a sigh of relief knowing he didn’t have to. He was still awfully tense, however, and it seemed to affect both Nishinoya and Tsukishima as well as they walked down the rickety metal stairs to gain some semblance of privacy.
“So what was it that you wanted to talk about?” There was a wobble in Nishinoya’s delivery of the question, betraying his nervousness despite the smile on his face in an attempt to somewhat lighten the heavy feeling that settled around them. Tsukishima stayed quiet, looking expectantly at Kageyama.
Kageyama gulped, trying to swallow down what felt like his heart trying to jump out of his mouth. Time seemed to slow, the seconds that ticked by felt like hours to Kageyama but he was having difficulty forcing out the words despite having recited in his head what he planned to say an immeasurable amount of times – it was simple, he wasn’t a novelist that could string together mushy words of affection after all, but it got straight to the point in the usual Kageyama-esque fashion.
“I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” Tsukishima whispered under his breath. He then sneered. “Tell us at a different time – seems like the King has gotten too tongue-tied in front of some mere peasants.” He was subtly giving Kageyama an out, a chance to gather his thoughts more. As much as he wanted to, Kageyama couldn’t take the tempting offer. He would surely lose his nerve in trying again – it had to be now or never.
Suddenly, Kageyama looked straight at the two in front of him when he was previously looking anywhere but their faces, eyes blazing with renewed conviction.
“I like you two very much. Please go out with me!” Kageyama all but shouted. In the background, a muffled burst of sound erupted from the clubroom; clearly the distance the three put between them and the room wasn’t far enough for the unexpectedly loud confession. It didn’t matter to Kageyama anyway since he couldn’t hear it over the blood rushing in his ears. His focus was solely on the two in front of him. Perhaps they knew why they were called out in the beginning – that could explain why Tsukishima wanted to give Kageyama a chance to escape – so the fact that they both looked a little shell-shocked made his stomach fall slightly. A rush of negative thoughts flooded his brain: this was a mistake; they don’t feel the same; I’ve ruined everything. Before it could consume Kageyama completely, Tsukishima regained his composure and began to speak.
“I don’t know how Nishinoya,” Tsukishima glanced quickly at him, now having snapped out of his shock at the sound of his name. “– feels about this, but I think it’s about time.” Tsukishima’s voice was slightly rough – whether it was due to the welling up of emotion or just a random chance happening, Kageyama would never find out, but he did notice that the tips of his ears were red leading him to believe in the former.
Bashful, Nishinoya rubbed the back of his neck as heat rose to colour his cheeks a soft pink. “It has felt like it’s been a long time coming, honestly – but I’m glad it’s finally happened!” and he grinned widely, the curve of his lips that Kageyama loved so much displaying the overwhelming delight he felt.
“It’s caused us a lot of pain, that’s for sure, so I'm glad that’s over with now,” Tsukishima tried to force his usual sardonic smirk, but was unable to pull it off completely, his own joy seeping into his actions.
“So, does that mean we’re dating?” Kageyama tried not to sound too hopeful, despite now being positive that this confession had gone well.
Tsukishima and Nishinoya shared a brief look. “I’m not sure about me and Tsukishima right now, but I’m pretty sure the both of us would be honoured to go out with you!” Nishinoya beamed.
“Honoured is going a bit far, but sure.”
“Don’t be trying to act all cool and aloof at this point, Tsukki. We all know that you’re just as mushy, or I bet even more than, we are,” the libero ended with a fairly forceful slap to his back. The blocker grumbled something unintelligible in return, his blush now fully taking over; Kageyama thought in the back of his mind that he wouldn’t be surprised if he started steaming as well.
Nishinoya’s laughter rung out, seemingly infectious now that Kageyama started laughing himself. Even Tsukishima couldn’t stop the smile drifting onto his face.
“How about we make our way back and break the news,” suggested Nishinoya.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if they already know, to be honest.” Kageyama hummed and nodded in agreement with Tsukishima.
“Hinata told me before that it was obvious.”
“That doesn’t stop us from telling them, though!” Nishinoya bounded for the stairs. “Hurry up, you slowpokes. We’ve still got practice this afternoon too.” That got Kageyama move almost comically quickly, making Tsukishima snort.
“Volleyball idiot,” he said out fondly, shaking his head.
Once they arrived at the door, the members inside were clamouring with requests for details and congratulations.
It was the most content Kageyama had felt in a long time.