Work Text:
“And then, Hawke and Isabela ran, I mean ran for dear life, out of the brothel, clutching smalls in every color and pattern imaginable! ” Varric was barely able to contain his laughter. “Oh, Maker, there was a trail of undergarments behind them, like some sort of erotic rainbow!”
“Pfffft. Panty snatching contest! That's good, yeah? We should have one. Good for morale!” Sera sniggered.
“Well,” Cassandra leaned forward a bit too eagerly, “who won?”
“Hawke, naturally!” Varric proclaimed. “You see, while Isabela ran and dropped so many pieces, Hawke kept stopping to grab what was dropped".
“What was the final score?” Evelyn could barely speak, she was laughing so hard.
“Isabela's final count was 17, and Hawke had a grand total of 24!” Varric was grinning ear to ear. “Plus, Hawke managed to get a full 3 piece garter-corset-smalls set. In bright, canary, plaidweave yellow”.
“Oh dear,” Vivienne put a hand on her collar in indignation. “Did she make the Rivaini wear it?”
“That was the bet! And Isabela put it on-over her clothes, of course- and spent the rest of the game in it!”
Dorian's arms were folded as he grinned, “And did the proprietor find them?”
“Of course she did! Madam Lusine had to send 3 guys into the Hanged Man to get her property back. This was years before Hawke was the champion, obviously, but she already had a reputation for belligerence by then,” Varric smirked and leaned his arm on one knee. “They gave them all back without a fuss, though. Even the obnoxiously yellow garter set, not that Isabela was eager to keep the hideous thing". Varric leaned back a bit, lacing is fingers behind his head. "And that's the story of how Hawke and Isabela were banned from the Blooming Rose for six months”.
Blackwall's laughter roared above the others, “Maker's Balls! That's better than where I thought the story was going!”
Varric grinned, clearly enjoying the rounds of laughter. “Alright, alright. Settle down. Its someone else's turn,” he gestured vaguely. “C'mon, someone's gotta have a good one. Can't top mine, obviously, but we need a decent laugh! Anyone?”
Evelyn shook her head, unable to think of a good story. It was their last night camping in the rolling sands of the Western Approach before they would be upon Adamant Fortress, and she had insisted that all conversation be light hearted, to ward away the heavy dread that had settled throughout them all as they contemplated the horrors that would probably be waiting for them when the siege began. It had proven a sound plan as Sera, Blackwall and Iron Bull had each shared a story igniting rounds of laughter around the circle.
They were given some degree of privacy from the rest of the Inquisition camp, which had set the patrol perimeters rather far from their campfire. There was moderate tree coverage, and the camp area they had chosen was in a comfortable oasis with a large watering hole nearby. Cullen, Marian Hawke, Warden Alistair, and most of the front line forces were already upon Adamant, but Evelyn and her group had stayed a day behind to ensure that she was distant and protected when the siege began, so as to keep her safe until the fortress walls were broken enough for infiltration.
She had spent most of the evening comfortably close to The Iron Bull, sharing a seat upon a sizable bit of tree trunk. Her ‘relationship’ (if it could be called that) was semi-public now, with her inner circle and advisors all aware that there was something between them; but the information was still not privy to the bulk of the Inquisition members. Josephine had valid concerns about the image of the Inquisition's Herald being bedded by a Qunari mercenary (though her expression of such concern was peppered with a few too many inquiries about the exact nature of their couplings). As such, Evelyn and The Iron Bull remained as discreet as they could manage. But this; laughing at a campfire, sharing stories with their friends, his hand occasionally resting on her thigh, the occasional whisper of a private joke into one another's ear; this felt good, natural. She'd wondered more than once throughout the night if this could go on beyond the Inquisition. If she could end the elder one, close all the tears in the sky, restore stability to the continent and disband or leave the Inquisition, she would certainly be open to a life as a mercenary with the Chargers. She could see herself drifting from job to job, laughing around a campfire, then retiring to a tent to be thoroughly fucked by The Iron Bull. It would never happen, of course, far more likely she could die an unpleasant death far too soon, but a girl could dream.
“Hey, Kid! You've been working on those knock knock jokes, right? Give us a good one!” Varric urged Cole to participate, as he had been eerily silent the whole evening.
“Yeah, c'mon Cole!” The Iron Bull leaned toward Cole and gave him a playful nudge on the shoulder. “Show us what you got!”
Evelyn smiled at The Iron Bull. She was always surprised at Bull's attitude toward Cole. For as much as Bull expressed fear and disdain toward the fade, demons, spirits and, well, all magic; he had no trouble fighting by the side of mages and a self professed demon (though Evelyn would argue to the end of time that Cole was a spirit, taken human form, and most certainly not a demon). Bull was not even fearful of her mark, the epitome of magic unknown. In fact, he had told her one evening that he'd noticed her mark would flare slightly when she was close to reaching her limit during sex. She'd wondered how he was able to read her body so well, as she often found herself thinking ‘Katoh’, and approaching her limit, when he would cease the activity in question or, as their games often went, finally bringing her to climax after forcing her to beg. When she'd asked, he revealed that he'd been cheating (so to speak) and watching her mark. It made her feel safer to know he was watching her so closely. She often pushed ‘Katoh’ away when she'd consider using it, finding a personal thrill in testing her limits for pleasure and pain, while still feeling secure under The Iron Bull's watchful eye.
Evelyn's series of thoughts was interrupted as Cole spoke abruptly after a moment's silence, "She almost says the word sometimes. Katoh. She tastes it in her mouth, sweet release a breath away, tongue tying it tenderly like you tie her. But she doesn't. For you, and for her because it makes it mean more. A fuller feeling, a brighter burst.”
She felt her face flush and was certain she had turned red enough to see even in the warm firelight. She instinctively covered her face with her hand, fighting the urge to cower in her tent to avoid making eye contact with her friends. As she did so, she realized that her reaction probably confirmed exactly whose mind Cole was reading.
“Yeah,” The Iron Bull shifted uncomfortably beside her and coughed, “How's she feel about you saying this in front of everybody?"
She willed herself to lift her head and face her companions, most of whom appeared to be either uncomfortable or holding back laughter.
She squared her jaw and mustered a face of impudence. “Bull and I are consenting adults, and there's nothing wrong with what we choose to do in bed.”
Cole lifted his head, a slight confusion crossing his face and he spoke, "But it's not just in bed. Sometimes it's up against the wall. Once on the war table."
Sera and Blackwall erupted into a roar of laughter. “Hope you took her right up the Dales!” Sera toasted tankards with Blackwall and slapped her knee with her free hand hand.
“I look forward to informing Cullen!” Blackwall spoke with the straightest face he could manage, but could scarcely contain his amusement. Dorian guffawed with an inelegant snort before clearing his throat into a more dignified chuckle.
Evelyn returned her face into her hands, thoroughly embarrassed. “Never mind!” she said with a bit of a waver in her voice, “If a rift opened up right now and swallowed me, I'd be fine with that”.
Solas lifted his head with a half amused smile on his face. He had not spoken a word the entire evening, buried in an ancient grimior, appearing to not even pay attention to the evening's tales and laughter. He spoke evenly, in his usual way, "Provided it tied you down first,” he then returned to his reading, his head down as he flatly added “one assumed”.
Varric laughed mid drink, coughing and spluttering as her tried to regain his voice. “Andraste's tits! I didn't know you had some real chuckles in you, Chuckles!” He wiped a drop of ale off his chin and tried to hold back his laughter. "Wait, wait! I've got a good one-listen, Inquistor, do whatever works for you. You don't have to act restrained in front of us!" The entire group erupted into laughter, excepting Cassandra and Vivienne, who were equal parts exasperated and unsettled.
"Moving on," Evelyn stood from her seat and brushed ash off her legs, hoping the conversation would close.
"I could not agree more," Cassandra stood as well, turning to head back to the tents.
Vivienne rose elegantly "Please do," she held a hand to her hip and sashayed behind the Seeker, skirt gliding behind her.
“Right. Well. I will just go to the wellspring and wash the campfire off my face before heading to my tent. Goodnight,” she spoke quickly, hoping to sustain an air of dignity despite the fact that she was mortified.
"Oh, sorry," Cole's gentle voice was far behind her as she trudged through the sand to the greenery leading to the water.
The scenery had a sort of deadly beauty to it, cacti large and small occasionally blocking her way, and gnarled trees twisting their branches down for her to duck and dodge below. When she arrived at the waters edge, she was relieved that no scouts were taking a water break. One soldier was patrolling in the distance, pausing at the sight of her before bringing her hand to her chest in a salute, then continuing on further from sight.
She bent to the water and collected some in her cupped hands, splashing her warm face, hoping the cool water could bring her red blush down to a less embarrassing color. When she felt a bit better, she found a piece of deadwood positioned in front of a tree, and sat upon it, leaning her head back to catch sight of the stars in the clear night sky.
“Kadan,” The Iron Bull's low voice came from behind her, his armored boot clanking as he came closer. Despite her embarrassment, she found herself smiling at the tender tone he took as he used the word. 'Kadan', 'My Heart'. It left her feeling weak kneed, like a swooning maiden in one of Cassandra's romance novels.
“Ah! Good. You're here, and now they are all laughing about us fucking at the watering hole!” She meant sound joking, but as the words left her mouth they sounded more bitter and upset.
“Want me to go knock some heads together?” He stood next to her, leaning his left elbow on the tree, resting his right thumb in his belt loop.
“Oh, yes, good idea. Some concussions on the eve of battle!” she glanced up at him with a smirk, marveling for a moment at his powerful figure towering over her.
“Hey,” he crouched down to her, eye level with hers. “If you want them to shut up, then just tell them. You don't have to listen to the crap if it bugs you".
She sighed and shook her head. “Well, the entire purpose of gathering around the fire was to get everyone to laugh and have fun. So I suppose it was a success”.
“Hmm,” He touched her hand lightly, sounding unconvinced.
“Perhaps a conversation with Cole about the privacy of sexual acts is in order?” She turned toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder, tracing the shapes of his tattoos.
“You think?” he held her hand gently with his right, and fiddled with the dragon tooth around her neck. There was an intimacy that came with the gentle touches and gestures.
“The truth is,” she spoke measuredly, “it does bother me, but it's sort of… refreshing. To be seen as something other than a leader or a prophet. To be seen as a person with a sexual appetite”.
“They don't know the half of it,” he leaned forward and planted a kiss on her freckled nose. “Go back to your tent. Get some sleep. We've got a fortress to storm tomorrow”.
Before he began to pull himself up, she stood so she was towering over him. She leaned her head down and kissed his mouth, reveling the rough touch of his stubble on her chin. He parted his lips and returned the kiss, their mouths melding for a few moments before he pulled away.
“Go to sleep, Kadan,” he said gently. It wasn't an order, more of a plea.
“Yes, yes. Alright,” they parted ways; she walked toward the camp, while he started toward the glow of the fire, where Sera's rowdy laughter rang in the distance. She glance over her shoulder and called teasingly, “Please no concussions!”
“I make no promises!” he called back with a laugh.
Her bedroll was cold and lonely, but the dragon tooth around her neck made her feel secure.
****
Evelyn buckled her leather armor in place, and made a count of her alchemy flasks, organising them for ease of access. The morning sun was hot and heavy already, and she missed the clear, cool night air. Boots laced, armor taut, daggers sharpened; she went through her battle ready checklist and swung her arms to and fro to flex and stretch her muscles.
“Your Worship! The men are ready to move out, all the supplied are packed,” the corporal saluted her and bowed his head slightly. “We stand ready to advance on your command!”
“Thank you, Corporal. Tell the men we will move out in twenty minutes,” she returned the salute, feeling much more confident, last night's humiliation becoming a distant memory. The corporal nodded and marched toward the soldiers as they made their final preparations to travel.
She spent a moment adjusting her coat arms, when she saw Varric approach in her peripheral. “Your Inquisitorialness,” he said in mock piety.
“Varric,” she nodded in greeting with a smile. “Did you and Bianca sleep well?”
“Oh yes,” he smirked. “Bianca's well rested and ready to go, positively twitching or action!” She laughed and he suddenly looked down at the ground sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “So, listen, I wanted to apologize about last night…”
“Oh dear,” she said with a bit of a nervous laugh. “If The Iron Bull has coerced an apology out of you under duress-”
“No, no, no!” he interjected with a chuckle. “It's nothing like that! I mean, he came back and talked, real casual-like, but he didn't threaten to cleave me in half or anything like that”.
“Oh?” She folded her arms skeptically. “And what did he have to say?”
“He made note of the fact that you are a bad-ass, dagger wielding, selfess, kindhearted, born-leader who has been given an overwhelmingly impossible task of basically saving the world, and that in light of those facts, the last thing you need is to be made to feel embarrassed for anything, and maybe we all should have read the room-so to speak-and shut the fuck up when it was obvious you were uncomfortable. So, basically, I'm sorry. And so is everyone else. Except Sera, who said-and I quote-‘piss off, I wasn't making fun, I'm glad she gets it good. People oughtta fuck however and wherever they like’. So, yeah. We're mostly sorry.”
Evelyn was surprisingly touched by the apology, unconventional it may have been, “Thank you Varric. I appreciate the sentiment”. She then looked at him and gave a sly grin. “But, it would have tragic to leave that ‘restrained’ comment unsaid”.
“Absolutely criminal!” Varric laughed heartily. “what was it you said once? ‘Puns are the most sophisticated form of humor’?”
She giggled and relaxed her stance, leaning against the small cliff formation where she stood. “Yes, that does sound like me”.
“Alright, alright. Enough bonding time, gotta get the troops ready to move out. We'll probably reach Curly and Hawke by nightfall, just in time for a real siege. I've never been in a siege before. Should be fun, right?”.
“I'm sure Bianca will have a blast! We'll leave in about fifteen minutes, go tell the others to be ready.”
“Sure thing, Ev”. He shifted Bianca on his back. “Tiny's that-a-way, sharpening his axe. If you wanted to walk with him”. Varric gave a knowing wink as he turned away. Evelyn rolled her eyes, but nodded and headed in the direction Varric had gestured. She was feeling strong and confident, Varric's apology having sounded sincere. She caught sight of The Iron Bull sitting on a boulder, taking a whetstone to his blade.
“The strangest thing happened,” she said with fake confusion in her voice.
“What's that?” The Iron Bull responded without looking up. Evelyn sat next to him and drummed her fingers on her knees.
“Well, Varric just came up to me and apologised for embarrassing me, and he said that you didn't even threaten to cleave him in half!” She grinned as she spoke to him, catching sight of his horned reflection in the silver of his axe blade.
He stayed his hands and looked up at the sky for a moment, as though he were pondering her words. “Hmmm. You know, that sounds exactly like something a person would say if I had threatened to cleave them in half…”
Evelyn laughed, seeing the corners of his mouth twitch as he fought back a smile. “Well, I'm pleased with the results either way”. She stretched her legs out and looked up at the blue morning sky. She was scared to see what was waiting at Adamant, but she felt hopeful that all would turn out well. “Ready to kill some demons?” She asked with a hint of excitement in her voice.
He smirked at her. “Maybe we'll get a shot at that big ass dragon”. He pocketed his whetstone, stood up, and hefted his great axe upon his shoulder. His other hand, fisted, rested on his leather armored waist. The morning sun was shining behind him, and he looked fiercely powerful, his silhouette brawny with hefty muscles and jagged with horns and armor. “Lets go kick some ass, Boss!”
“Asit tal-eb,” she spoke in practiced qunlat. He had been teaching her, letting her read the reports he received and sent from his Ben-Hassrath superiors.
He grinned, walked beside her and put his armored hand on her shoulder. He looked proud, pleased, and fearless. “Nerhaa anaan, Kadan”.
“For victory, Kadan,” she translated in reply.
As they began their journey to Adamant Fortress, she toyed with the dragon tooth on her neck.
So we'll always be together, no matter how far apart life takes us.
As she walked beside him, she thought with resolve, that she never wanted to be apart from her Kadan.