Chapter Text
Old Man Joe had a horse on his farm; his name was Faust. He was a black beauty, right down to the white star on his forehead. Without fail, Christian would always end his shift at the farm with a visit to Faust. He’d ask Faust how his day went herding the cows on the pastures, or whether he would like to go for a ride.
They would bond over the freedom of riding directionless across open fields, their hearts palpitating as one, bursting with elation, trying to outrun the wind.
And that was where Gregor found his baby brother, in Faust’s stall, deep in conversation, as he brushed down his old friend.
“Is Faust in a philosophical mood today?” Gregor asked.
Christian looked up at his brother, stilling his brushing, as Faust snorted his disapproval at their interruption. “He told me to be wary of deals with the devil.”
Gregor raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Well, that’s sound advice. I hope that means a deal with an angel should never be rejected, right?”
“The tricky part is recognizing which is which.”
Gregor eyed his brother in consideration. “What about a deal offered by your very own brother?”
This got Christian’s full attention as he put the brush down, gave a reassuring pat to Faust’s starry forehead, and stepped out of the stall to stand in front of his brother, arms folded in suspicion. “What are you talking about? What deal?”
“One way ticket out of here. You and me, we leave for Dusseldorf, and get ready to start our lives, fresh. All the possibilities, everything, it’s ours, just waiting. How about it?”
“Are you out of your mind, Gregor? First off, Papa is still recovering from his minor heart attack, we still have to finish off the season at the farm, and most importantly, we have no money, no contacts, no nothing. How will we survive? What will we do? Where the fuck will we go?”
Gregor gave an exasperated sigh and put his hands on his brother’s shoulders, stilling Christian’s agitation. “We are not helping Papa any sticking around here. Waiting for him to “get better” is a hopeless cause, he’ll just fall back into his old patterns, and we’re just going to waste our own lives, along with him. If anything, if we get to the city, the opportunities would open up for us. We can actually make enough money to send back home. Way more than now, working at some stupid farm! We can actually help him then. Once we’re a bit settled, we’ll take him out of this town too, and bring him over to live in the city with us.”
Christian shook his head, ready to rebut, but Gregor forged on. “As for Old Man Joe, he’ll understand. Hell, he’ll probably chew us out because we waited this long to leave this boonfuck place. If we don’t leave now, it’ll be too late. See, man, I have this contact in Dusseldorf. A buddy of mine – Angsar – some bastard child of a royal family. Loaded up the fucking ass. Met him at some club in Dusseldorf a while back. Complete and embarrassing failure with the ladies, so we made a pretty good team that night. His money, my charms. He’s creaming his pants to get me to go local; he’ll help us. He’s already promised my little brother a job at the castle. See, I got it all set, man. Trust me!”
Christian gave a hollow laugh as he tried to understand the barrage of unannounced insanity that seemed to have befallen his brother. “Castle?! Gregor, are you high?”
Gregor looked less than impressed at Christian’s lack of enthusiasm with his proposal. “No, I am perfectly sober and you’re just being an unnecessary downer.” He huddled closer to his younger brother, taking his shaggy head into the nook of his elbow, bringing their faces inches apart. Blue against blue. “Take a risk, man. Now or never, come on! You and me, the Mann brothers, we’re gonna take on the world together, baby! We’re meant to do this!”
Christian rolled his eyes at his brother’s faulty over-enthusiasm and slipped out of his brother’s headlock. “Oh boy. Gregor….just stop. We gotta have a more concrete plan, we gotta be more reasonable. We can’t….I mean….this is crazy….it’s too sudden….we can’t just….leave!”
“Why not?”
“Well….as I already told you…..”
Gregor interrupted him. “I already explained those. What other excuse you got? Throw ‘em at me.”
Christian swallowed thickly, as seconds turned to minutes, and then raised his blue gaze to fix on his brother’s familiar one, filled with focused intent. He couldn’t deny that stare. “Okay, I’ll do it….”
“YES!!” Gregor lifted Christian up in a hearty hug and gave a few good pats to his back.
“…..BUT!”
Like an unsuspecting balloon pierced by a needle, Gregor’s breath of elation left him as he stepped back from his brother, once again hesitant and wary. “But what?”
“Olli comes with us.”
“NO! NO. No. Not gonna happen. That’s out of the question. NO!”
“Then so am I.”
Gregor grabbed a fistful of Christian’s shirt as he roughly pinned his little brother up against the wooden stable walls, rattling him a few times, for good measure. “Listen to me, you fucking stubborn sonofabitch! Don’t you get it?! This is supposed to be it. I’m offering you a chance to start over!!! No past, no fucked up shit between you two, no shame, no fucking Olli! Fresh start!”
Christian tried to wrestle out of his brother’s hold, but Gregor was intent to make Christian stay put until he understood. A battle for leverage, for surrender, ensued, as both boys tumbled to the dirt-covered ground, each unwilling to lose.
Faust started neighing and snorting from the stable, picking up on Christian’s distress and grunts, which had Old Man Joe running towards his farmhands, cursing up a storm.
When he finally separated the boys, he looked at both in disgust, and told them to take the day off to sort out the mess. He threw a parting remark at the boys as he turned to leave, “You’re supposed to be men and brothers, for christsakes.”
Gregor and Christian, feeling unwelcomed contrition seep into them, surreptitiously dusted off their clothing, as they quietly walked away side by side. Each was locked into a silent pit of blame at the other, for their own hopes dashed.
On their ride back home, Gregor tried to calmly explain to Christian the practical limitations to Olli accompanying them. This, it seemed, finally unraveled a few yet-to-be revealed relevant pieces of information, much to Christian’s chagrin.
For one, Gregor had promised Sarah that he would take her along, and she, of course, couldn’t in turn, not take her best friend along; Jessica.
Christian was thoroughly puzzled as to why Gregor would agree to such a foursome. He vaguely understood the reasoning for Sarah tagging along – Gregor was simply pussy-whipped. But, Jessica?! The reason there was no more space in the car, no provisions for Olli once they got settled in Dusseldorf, was because Jessica took his spot. It made no sense.
Granted, Christian had no animosity against Jessica, and if he wanted to really revisit the past, then he was more than a little thankful that Jessica did not fulfill her promise to tell everyone what she had witnessed between Olli and himself that day. The girl had kept her mouth shut, for some unfathomable reason. And ever since that disastrous last meeting, Christian had stayed clear of Jessica. But now, faced with the biggest dream of his life, to escape this damning echoing town, it seemed that, according to Gregor, such a promise held no space for Olli. Jessica had an uncle working as a butler in the same castle where Angsar lived, and she would be more of an asset than a liability on the trip. Unlike Olli.
Secondly, as Gregor aptly pointed out, even if Christian wanted Olli to go with them, it would still depend on Olli.
“Christian, are you sure that even if you ask, Olli would want to come with us?”
Christian opened his mouth once, twice, thrice; suddenly bereft of sound. Thoughts of an unknown Bach blaringly belligerent in his mind, the truth of Gregor’s words taunting him cruel, crushing, until he sliced them all with a certainty born of hope. “He will.”
***
Heartache, heartbreak, for the heart’s sake, for it all, vulnerability was inevitably the barter of choice. And this was how Oliver Sabel found his best friend’s older brother, Gregor Mann, on that chilly night. It was well past the witching hour, and the church’s bells would soon chime in two more hours beyond midnight. And the stud had turned into a slug.
Reeking of alcohol, refusing to leave his wheels, Gregor was half slumping out of his car’s window, loudly warning anyone who would bother to listen to take heed of the evil charms of a woman. “And their lies, oh, their beautiful, red-headed lies!!!” He added with a slur.
Olli shook his head and chuckled under his breath. He went over to the Mercedes, and opened the driver-side door, only to have Gregor tumble out of the car and on to the concrete, in a surprised, cursing heap. He stepped over Gregor, sat himself in the driver’s seat, nudged the rest of Gregor’s limbs out of the car, and then promptly shut the door. Starting the engine, he rested his elbow on the open window, and called out to the man, crumpled below on the ground. “I’m driving your baby tonight, Gregor. Either you’re coming with me, or I drive this baby alone.”
Gregor’s motor reflexes suddenly sprang into action as he hurled himself off the ground, rushing in an uncoordinated stagger, to the passenger-side door, right before the engine revved again for the third time. He fumbled to secure his belt on tight and pointed a finger at his unwanted chauffeur for the night. “You hurt her, I kill you.”
Olli flashed Gregor a devilish smile and stepped on the gas pedal. Driving such a beast, he knew, was going to be a fun ride.
***
Olli was deathly afraid of horses. Christian found out this interesting fact when Olli visited him at Old Man Joe’s farm one day, over a year ago, and got his first introduction to Faust – thirty feet away.
Christian, holding Faust’s reins, had teasingly shouted back across the distance, at Olli. “How can you know for sure he’s a horse, from so far away?”
Olli was none too convinced. “What else can that giant beast be?”
Christian shrugged as he shared an impish wink with his horse friend. “Maybe he’s a gentle little pony. Come closer, then you can be sure.”
Olli’s voice held no compromise. “No way! And, no thanks!”
Christian laughed. “Is that a challenge? Mark my words, Olli, there’s hope for you yet!”
***
“Never fall in love with a woman, man, never. It’s hopeless. They’ll always betray you in the end.”
Olli smirked at his drunken companion. “Maybe I should turn gay then, huh?”
Gregor shifted in his seat, to a more upright position, and cleared his throat. “Well, I mean….that’s not the solution, obviously, but, well…….”
Olli couldn’t contain his laughter any longer at Gregor’s unease. “Aw man, I’m sorry. Sarah broke up with you, or something?”
“Psst! That’s giving that whore too much credit! She fucked first, told me never. Well, I found out anyway, and get this, she denies it! To my face!”
“Maybe she’s telling the truth?”
“And everyone else is lying?”
“Sometimes it can happen.”
“Not when more than one witness has seen her making out with Phillip, all over town.” Gregor’s voice trembled as he added, “She wasn’t even trying to hide it.”
Olli helplessly glanced from between the road and his passenger. “That does suck.” He gave a few reassuring pats to Gregor’s shoulder, hoping the gesture conveyed some comfort. He had never seen Gregor so emotionally unbound and was out of his depth on how to correctly offer solace and comfort to anyone, let alone his friend’s older brother. It was not like they were particularly close in any personal way. All their ties were knotted at one root – Christian – whose presence Olli desperately missed for awkward moments like these.
***
Christian had lured Olli to Old Man Joe’s farm two weeks later, with the plea of needing an extra hand to finish his chores, as Gregor was absent. One of the chores was to clean the stable, to which he promptly followed up with a promise to Olli that Faust would be safely locked away in his stall.
That day, Olli had gotten ten feet nearer to Faust, and his fear was none the wiser.
***
“All my plans, all my hopes. It’s…over!” Gregor cried out, banging the back of his head against his seat, and then finally burrowing his face in between his palms.
“Man, you’ll make new ones. Without Sarah. Better plans. That’s right, better plans. Pussy-free plans. I know it’ll only be a half-cocked plan then, but still….”
This finally got a slight chuckle out of Gregor, for which Olli was relieved. Sexual jokes always worked to break any tension, unless one was in a church or something.
As if hearing its name taken in vain, the church bells chimed three times in the distance, marking three hours past midnight.
Olli turned the car to round the corner, driving up along the dirt road leading to the small white house, the Mann residence. “Well, you’re home, man.”
Gregor let out a snarl of disgust. “Fuck! I can’t face that anymore.”
“Huh? What?”
Gregor emphatically pointed a finger at his humble abode. “THAT!” He turned to Olli when the other finally turned off the car and killed the headlights. “You know, I was going to get out of here. Take her away. Sarah. Myself. And Christian. She….she fucking ruined it all.”
Olli sat up with interest. “Seriously?”
Gregor looked at Olli for a few measured moments, as if in decision, and then finally sighed with heavy weariness. “Yeah, that was the plan anyway.”
Olli’s voice held steel-tight emphasis. “Do it! Fuck if it’s with or without Sarah. You, you and Christian. Do it! You have to do it for Christian!”
“You don’t think I fucking know that? Want that? He’s my fucking brother!”
Olli looked away from the accusation swimming in Gregor’s ice-blue eyes. He made a move to vacate the car, only to be stilled by a cold hand on his shoulder.
Gregor eyed Olli with a quick sideways glance. “It’s a little more complicated than that,” he said in whispered hush.
***
“Come on, Olli, it’s not that complicated. You fill the pail with water and just drop it by his stall. Faust will not attack his water bearer. Trust me.”
“What if he bites me?”
Christian bit his lower lip to keep his smile hidden. “I’ll bite him back for you.”
“Not funny! Why don’t you just do it and I’ll do whatever you’re doing!”
“You can’t. You don’t know how to separate the piles. Come on, man. Don’t leave the poor animal thirsty.”
Christian watched, with rising amusement, as Olli wadded up his courage, and hastily dropped the filled pail by Faust’s stall, only to trip over himself while scurrying away, followed by a pitched yell and a jump, when Faust snorted out his thanks.
When Olli turned to see if Christian had caught the sight, Christian gave him two encouraging thumbs-up. “He just thanked you. If I didn’t know any better, he might already be halfway in love with you.”
Olli rolled his eyes but gave a double-look back towards the stable. Just then, he heard Faust snort again. “Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome,” he said and smiled.
***
“I probably should thank that motherfucker, Phillip, for showing me her true colours. And you know what the worst thing is? She fucking left me blue-balled. Tonight, man, tonight, we were gonna to fuck and dream. Dream about a life far away from here, in Dusseldorf. Together. And, what the fuck did I end up with instead? A whole lot of useless arguing and denying, and I didn’t even get to have a good riddance fuck.”
Olli sighed, his patience with Gregor’s Sarah drama wearing thin. “Gregor, stop changing the subject. Tell me why you and Christian can’t just take off. He seriously needs to get out of this town. Why is that complicated?”
Gregor avoided looking at Olli as he shifted in his seat. Thoughts of Sarah and the night’s alcohol rushed through his inner streams, pooling uncomfortably between his legs. “You know any whores available right now?” To which he received a pointedly raised eyebrow from Olli, and thus he hastily added, “I mean, female ones.”
“Gregor….”
“What? I’m not trying to insult you, man. You know, what you do, that’s not really all that bad. I mean, I’ve been thinking, and at least you get paid. Sarah does the same thing - for free.”
“Trust me, it’s not easy doing what I do.”
Gregor turned to Olli. “I believe that.” Piqued by further curiosity, he asked, “Then why do you do it?”
“For the money, why else?”
“I’d never be able to do that, though, not even for money, man. I mean, letting a random dude stick his……”
Olli snorted and interrupted Gregor’s flights of drunken fancy. “You can pimp yourself out to the ladies, instead.”
This got a good chuckle out of Gregor. “Get the fuck out of here. Women don’t need prostitutes. They can get sex whenever they want, and, for free!”
Olli shrugged and offered Gregor a squint and a twinkle of his eyes. “You’d be surprised at what some rich, lonely women need. A virile young stud and a pretty penny to have him break them in.”
“No fucking way.”
“Yes fucking way.” Olli elbowed Gregor, “Why? You thinking of possible career options when you guys reach Dusseldorf?”
“Nah, man. I got that covered. A buddy of mine, Angsar, he’s going to help us out. Financially, I mean. Well, until we get settled a bit.”
“That’s solid, man. Take it. It’ll be good for Christian. I’m heading out soon too. But, I’m headed to Koln….and….”
Gregor was brought up short by Olli’s revelation. “Wait, wait, hold on. Say that again. You’re leaving, too?”
Olli looked at Gregor, thoroughly confused. “Well, yeah. Didn’t Christian mention anything? I got a contact too, like your Angsar. Rob Marenbach, he’s setting me up in Koln and it’ll be…”
This was yet another news that had Gregor’s muddled brain slowly start to fire the neurons. He couldn’t quite place it, but he knew that Olli was saying something vital….something familiar. “What did you say his name was again?”
“Ma….I mean, his name’s Bach.”
The pieces of the puzzle started to fall together for the older Mann brother. His mind raced, wondering what it truly meant for all the possibilities he had always imagined for his future, and that of his baby brother.
Finally, he spoke the one truth both occupants of the car knew with perfect and doomed certainty. “God knows why, but, he won’t ever let you go.”
***
“Olli, I’m right here. See? I’m holding the carrot with you,” Christian gently pushed their tangled hands towards Faust’s snout, “slow….slow….,” to which Faust gave a quick and hearty chomp to the end of the carrot stick, which elicited a surprised squeak from Olli, as he pushed back against the security of Christian’s solid chest behind him.
Olli’s voice held awe. “He didn’t bite off my finger.”
Christian gave Olli’s flank a teasing squeeze, just above his hip. “The carrot is tastier.”
***
The occupants of the car turned to one another, each on a quest for the answers in the other’s eyes. In the dark of the car, piercing blue eyes, like that of a flighty summer day, met the forbidden apple-green, but it was wrong, all wrong. Where there was always a destined spark, that night, between those eyes, there held an unspeakable strain.
When Olli’s hand landed on Gregor’s jean-clad cock, it was hard. When Gregor clasped Olli’s wrist, to still his movement further, his hesitation was soft. When their eyes found one another again, every sanity fell away. With a tremor floating uncertainly from their parted lips, they threw their last hope to the weighty silence of the dark-covered night. Their last wish, each prayed separately, each unknown to the other, asked for the same absolution. Forgiveness.
With that, Olli took Gregor into his mouth in one swoop and soon the only sounds in the car were that of suckling flesh. It echoed off the walls of the car, getting louder and more obscene.
Gregor, for his part, pounded the ceiling with his fist, willing his eyes to shut tight. The pressure was building, and he battled with wanting to throw the wet, heated mouth off, or plunge in chokingly deep.
***
Slowly, Christian got Olli confident enough to lead Faust around by his reins. Easy conversation between all three companions, kept the pace.
At the end of the day, while they got Faust ready to settle in his stall for the night, Christian gave his final verdict. “I think you’re ready to ride him, Olli.”
***
Gregor watched, in a state of panicked shock, as Olli peeled all his clothes off, and proceeded to straddle his lap. In the process, his thigh brushed against Gregor’s forearm, and Gregor noted in utter puzzlement, that Olli had hairy legs.
“Move the seat back, there’s not enough room.”
Gregor looked up at Olli, hearing him speak, but completely failing to understand. He could only owlishly blink up at Olli a few times, in response.
Olli rolled his eyes, gave a great belaboured sigh, and reached behind Gregor, lifting the lever, as Gregor tilted back in his seat, with the jerk. His large fingers instinctively landed to wrap around Olli’s tiny waist, to grab hold, and was stunned into inaction, once again. That waist, it was so small, way smaller than Sarah’s, without any contours of hips flaring. Gregor stared in deep confusion, contemplating the purpose of his own hands, at that moment.
Olli spit into one of his hands, reached back to stroke Gregor’s unfathomably hard cock, and aimed it at the entrance of his ass.
“What…." Gregor swallowed nervously, "what should I do?”
Olli leaned down, his nose grazing a path along Gregor’s sculpted chest up to his corded neck. “Close your eyes, stay hard, and let me ride.”
Olli was inexorably overwhelmed by the sudden feeling of loss, of missing the familiar pliancy of another’s muscles, just as solid as the chest before him, but, somehow yieldingly soft. The softness was missing tonight. The scent was misleading as well – almost familiar but never just right.
So Olli gave up trying to find the corner of Gregor’s skin that would bring him to the scent he missed so deep. He forced himself to take his own advice as he slid down on Gregor’s cock, as a moan escaped Gregor’s tightly-bitten lips, and closed his eyes. Behind his mind’s eyes, he rode as if it was his first time all over again.
***
“Holy fuck, Christian, I’m doing it. I’m seriously riding a horse!”
Christian’s soft trill of laughter tickled the back of Olli’s neck in the most delicious of ways, which made Olli lean back deeper into the body behind him. The familiar scent of Christian surrounded him like a protective cocoon. His cock twitched in response to the hardness he felt at his lower back. He turned his head to meet those ocean-deep blue eyes, to make sure his vision bore witness to what he felt. Like always, a tiny spark ignited, travelling all the way down to his boots-clad toes.
“See, I knew you could do it.” With those words, Christian put his hands on top of Olli’s, giving the reins a stronger pull, as a signal to Faust, and off they went. Flying together on the back of their black beauty, the open fields their destination, Olli’s scream of nerves and surprise turning into hiccups of unrestrained laughter, as Christian’s arm tightened around him, and they rode until the horizon swallowed them out of sight.
***
Gregor gripped the tiny waist tightly, bucking his hips forward, pounding again and again, needing to resolve the frustrated night. He mistakenly opened his eyes, and caught the sight before him. A moment of disorientation made Gregor swiftly intake a lungful of air.
Olli was on his lap, and Gregor found an obscure fascination with watching his hard cock disappear between the shadows of Olli’s obscenely parted hairy thighs. His pale skin was glowing with the sheen of sweat, his cock barely hard, flopping against his own thighs, sometimes smacking against Gregor’s taut stomach, his head thrown back. Olli’s eyes were shut tight, with his face lined in utter concentration. That was when Gregor came to know one of Olli’s most closely guarded secret, watching Olli’s face transform, without his knowing. Olli was fucking himself on Gregor’s cock, but he was a thousand dreams away.
***
Christian threw a cheeky salute at Olli’s parting figure, as he watched the raven-haired boy, exhausted yet exuberant, leave the farm. Before Olli disappeared out of sight, Christian hollered out one last thought. “I can show you more if you let me, you know!”
Olli pumped his fist in the air, once. “Bring it. I’m not scared!” And he laughed as he ran off.
***
Gregor watched Olli as the other put his clothes back on, the mood in the car subdued. He caught sight of the drawing marking Olli's back, an angel rising out of barbed wires. It didn't really belong on Olli's body, such a mark, any mark, Gregor fleetingly thought. "Nice...tat."
Olli paused in straightening himself, and glanced over his shoulder, "Oh yeah, that. Thanks."
Gregor didn’t know what gesture would be most appropriate, after....everything, so he ran his hand through Olli’s head once, with it finally resting on the back of his neck. He gave it an affectionate squeeze, and leaned over to kiss the boy on the cheek.
Olli leaned back in surprise at the unexpected kiss and lifted quizzical eyebrows at Gregor.
In quick hopes of relieving the awkward tension, Gregor moved back and away, clearing his throat. “So…um….you won’t tell Christian right?”
Blue met green and held for an uncertain eternity. All that had been, that was, and that were to be, were spoken without nary a word; nothing more was left to be said.
“Of course.” With that, Olli exited the car, and disappeared into the night, leaving Gregor sitting in a dazed and fearful stupor.
The church bells chimed in four hours past midnight.
***
And so, as it were, the pair did part, each going their separate ways, both to anxiously await the breaking of a new dawn.