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Alec checked again the hastily drawn map he had in hand. It was the right building, and there was an interphone. He hoped the warlock was expecting him, or he would have to wait for someone to open the door like an idiot. It had happened before.
He knew nothing of Magnus Bane, just that he was the High Warlock of Brooklyn and that he was supposed to finish today a potion against a magical disease that had been affecting some Shadowhunters lately. Why Alec had been sent to retrieve it was a mystery. Maryse had asked Izzy to ask him, and hadn't given any details, as usual. She didn't talk to him.
He rang the bell with a sigh. He didn’t want to think about his mother.
An annoyed voice sounded in the interphone as the door buzzed open.
"If it's the Nephilim, hurry up. If not, business is closed today, go away."
Alec smiled in spite of himself. At least he wasn't the only one in a foul mood. He entered the building and went up the stairs, trusting the right door would be open to let him know where he was awaited. Indeed the left one on the fourth floor was wide open, and he let himself in with a knock, praying he wouldn't make a fool of himself by going in the wrong place.
"In here, shadow boy," came the same voice. Alec followed it to a corner of the loft obviously dedicated to magic. There were shelves lined with old books, all kind of vials and jars full of strange and unknown things, and a table piled with potions and ingredients. Behind it stood a man with a strange sense of color coordination - strange or inexistent. His hair was pointing in every direction, and when he looked up from the potion he had in hand, he set on Alec a pair of almond shaped, unblinking eyes, which were circled with scars, completely white
Panic gripped Alec in a matter of seconds, reinforced by the fact that the man wasn't looking at him but in his general direction, unfocused, unseeing.
He was blind.
"I can feel you panic from here, shadow boy. Is it magic that scares you?"
Alec opened his mouth to say something, but of course no sound came out of it. He struggled against his voice, to no avail.
"Oh, so you don't even bother to address me anymore? Is it beneath you?" the warlock asked, anger in his voice. Alec shook his head frantically, looked around him desperately for something, anything. But what was there to do? The man couldn’t see, and Alec couldn't talk.
"If you’re not going to say anything, pay up at least."
Alec, mortified, handed the warlock a handful of bills. The man counted them quickly, with practiced ease - he had long, elegant fingers adorned with jewelry, and they were moving deftly with careless grace, enthralling. He handed the potion in exchange.
"I have to say, you never cease to surprise me with new ways of being rude and dismissive. Get out of here."
On the verge of tears, Alec couldn't do anything but flee the loft, angry and ashamed.
.
"WHAT THE FUCK IZZY?" Alec screamed as soon as he found her in her room back at the Institute. She jumped and sprang out of her bed, alarmed.
"What? What is it?"
"Why did you send me to Magnus Bane? Is this your idea of a joke? Was it Jace’s idea? Seriously..."
"Alec, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"The man is fucking blind! Angels, that's so cruel, even for you..."
"Do you honestly think I would do that to you? I didn't know!"
Alec deflated, shrinking down like a pierced balloon.
"You didn't?" he asked in a small voice.
"Of course not. I would never do that to you. Mom just asked me, she didn't say..."
Izzy stopped in her tracks and bit her lips. Alec's face fell even more.
"Maybe she... maybe..."
"She's known him for years, Izzy, there’s no way she didn't know," he deadpanned with a strained voice.
"I'm so sorry, Alec, I..."
"I'll be at the shooting range. Please tell Jace to leave me alone," he said curtly before exiting the room. It wasn't fair to take it out on Izzy, she had nothing to do with it, but he was frustrated and upset, and he would apologize later. For now, shooting dead about a hundred fake enemies would maybe help quench the urge to shoot a real person.
.
"Magnus Bane is coming to the Institute today," Izzy said in way of greeting, a few days later, surprising Alec in missing the target he was again practicing on. He growled a frustrated growl.
"Why?"
"Reinforcing the wards. He's the one who put them there, apparently."
"Right."
"We are to welcome him and show him around. The parents won't be there."
It could have been positive, in a way. That their parents didn't treat him any differently despite the curse, that they gave him the same work and responsibility as his siblings. But it wasn't that. They just couldn't be bothered to be specific, and they didn't mind embarrassing Alec and putting him in those kind of situations.
In a way they were punishing him. As if it was his fault.
Well, they weren't punishing him for the curse, but for the fact that he couldn't talk to them. Or both, maybe.
"Could you explain to him? I don't want him to think I'm an asshole."
"Never bothered you before," she pointed out with a smile. He couldn't help but blush slightly. Damn.
"I hear he's very attractive,” she went on, pretending like she didn't notice his embarrassment.
"Where did you hear that?"
"I have my sources."
Jace poked his head in the shooting range at that moment, cutting her teasing.
"The warlock's here."
"His name’s Magnus."
"Whatever."
Alec rolled his eyes but followed his siblings out of the room.
.
Magnus hated going to the Institute. Granted, it wasn't often, but still too much for his liking. If he could, he would stay away from this place and its inhabitants forever, but he was a High Warlock, and the Accords demanded he lent his expertise to the fight against demons, and by extension, to the Nephilim. A fact they never forgot, of course, and they had the habit of ringing him like a servant to come and do their deeds, or barge into his homes and take what they wanted without even saying a word. Yeah, he still had that fresh in mind.
Speaking of which, he recognized immediately the aura of one of the three shadow kids coming to greet him as his rude intruder. It was a bit strange, because he had a very gentle presence, calm and subdued. He would have expected such behavior from the other boy, who exuded confidence and self-righteousness, but not from this one. Well, auras could be deceiving he supposed.
"Welcome to the New York Institute," the girl said with a polite but sincere voice. "I'm Isabelle Lightwood and those are my brothers, Alec and Jace. We will be the ones to accompany you today."
"Nice to meet you, although I do know one of you already. Still no greeting?" he asked in the direction of the one she had called Alec. He felt the Jace boy heat up immediately.
"Hey listen you..."
"My brother,” Isabelle interrupted with force and probably a harsh glare, “would like to apologize for his behavior last time you met."
"And he can't do that himself?"
"Actually no,” muttered Jace, “he can't."
The Jace boy was angry, the girl, sad and apologizing. And Alec, he was swimming in guilt, frustration and self-deprecation, and still it was so well controlled and kept in check, Magnus had a hard time picking up his emotions with the other two around.
"I see. All is forgiven then," Magnus said, tone mild, not wanting to stay on the subject any longer. He was intrigued, but it wouldn't make him forget he was here to work and he really didn't want to.
"Shall we then?" Isabelle asked, ever so charming. Magnus liked her already. "Do you, hem... need help?"
"I wouldn't be adverse,” he said, putting his cane aside, but instead of reaching for her, he extended an arm toward Alec, standing close behind him.
"Guide me?" he asked, and was delighted to feel his confusion was mixed with genuine pleasure, and gratitude. He slid an arm in his and they followed Isabelle and Jace back inside the Institute. It was much easier to read the boy now that they were touching. He had never met a child of the Nephilim who was so reserved, almost like he was folded in on himself, quiet and unassuming.
He didn't really need help to navigate the Institute. The place was busing with magic, and it was easy to read and follow for him, even without his sight. Well, they didn't have to know that. He quite enjoyed his guide. He too had a feeling of magic inside of him actually, but it wasn't protection and strength like the walls here. In fact...
"You’re cursed," Magnus claimed suddenly, wondering why he hadn't felt it sooner. He felt Alec tense by his side but before one of the others could say anything, he felt the boy tap his hand on his arm once.
"Is that a yes?"
Another tap. Well, they would stay on yes or no questions for now.
"Is that why you can't talk?"
Yes.
"Have you tried to reverse it?"
Yes.
"But it didn't work?"
Magnus heard the boy huffed at that and he could almost picture him rolling his eyes.
"Don't huff at me, young man."
Alec stopped, surprise not strong enough to overcome how pleased he felt at having this "conversation" with Magnus. The others were walking a few feet before them, but they were leaving them be.
"Can you talk at all?"
Yes.
"Oh?"
They were reaching the limit of the system. Isabelle stepped in.
"He can only talk to... people he cares about. Trust, love."
"So the two of you I presume?"
Yes.
"Parents, some friends?"
There was no answer at that, no gestures nor voices, and he felt he had crossed a line.
"How did it happen then?"
"Stupidly, and a long time ago," Jace cut abruptly. "We're here, let's do this."
"Thank you for reminding me how terribly rude you can be, I was starting to forget," Magnus said, voice laced with annoyance. The wards of this part of the building were weakened indeed, but it would be fixed easily enough.
"So, hem... Our mother asked us to go meet with the vampire clan for their problems of overlapping territory," he heard Izzy say. "Not... not you Alec. You're to stay with... with Magnus. She said..."
Izzy trailed off and Magnus felt their discomfort. Alec let out a resigned sigh and Magnus guessed they were communicating with their face and hands to convey annoyance and apologies. Soon they were left alone in a very awkward silence.
"I take it your relationship with Maryse isn't that sunny," Magnus commented while getting to work. He heard Alec knock on the floor beside him – he must have sat down against the wall of the corridor – and smiled.
"Mine aren’t either, it it’s any consolation.”
Magnus was surprised to hear a short laugh come from behind him. It was nothing more than exhaled air, but it was unmistakable, and the atmosphere was less tense already.
“You can't talk to her, right?"
Two knocks.
"Is that a no?"
Yes.
"And your father?”
No.
Magnus decided to let it go. Partly because he couldn't really get any more details from the boy, and partly because Alec was projecting sadness and frustration and disappointment, and he didn't want to be the cause of that. Magnus worked the wards absentmindedly while going on talking.
"Is Alec short for Alexander?"
Yes.
"It's a good name."
No.
"It is!"
No.
They both laughed a little, more at ease. That is, until a voice came behind them.
"Warlock."
The unmistakable coldness of Maryse Lightwood swept the smile off both of their faces at the same time. Maryse's feelings towards Magnus were of barely concealed disdain, and he was surprised and shocked to feel it was not much different regarding Alexander.
"Good morning, Maryse," the warlock said with a honeyed voice. Jace and Isabelle were there too, but he figured they would be as quiet as Alexander as long as their mother was here. Even the Jace boy wasn't so brash with all-powerful Maryse around.
"Some of our own are still ill despite the cure. It worked well on most of them, so we think there might be something more. Go and check after you're done here. I called for Catarina Loss for she is well-versed in healing, but she wasn't available."
"I bet. It'll cost you extra, of course. Alexander will show me the way when this work is completed."
Maryse didn't bother with a verbal answer, but Magnus took her silence and prompt departure as a confirmation. There certainly was no lost love between them.
"Why doesn't she want to come here?" Jace asked suddenly as Magnus resumed his work.
"What?"
"You said you bet Catarina Loss wasn't available. She is, right? Or whether she is or not, she doesn't' want to help us."
"She could help you alright. But she doesn't, in fact, want to come here, as most Downworlders and warlocks especially."
"Why? The Accords require them to come if they are summoned."
Good old Accords. The one who negotiated it back then clearly had a very personal understanding of the words "equality" and "respect".
"I'm positive they also state we retain some freedom still, and that no discrimination should be made toward one group or the other. The second point not being respected, they use the first to politely decline."
"What discrimination?"
"Most forms of magic are cancelled here, including glamour."
Jace huffed. Magnus didn't know why he was upset, but he was clearly the kind of person who worked out his problems by picking fights with others. He was quite good at it too.
"So it's an aesthetic issue? How noble."
"Says the boy who spends more time than me in the bathroom every morning..." Isabelle muttered next to him. Alexander snorted.
"May I remind you, boy, that Downworlders suffer enough of your condescendence without, in addition, subjecting themselves to your scrutinizing glare. Warlock's marks can be pretty visible, as is my friend Catarina's. She is free to show it to whom she pleases, and the fact that you're not on that list shouldn't be so surprising."
"I see. So you don't have that problem because your mark is discreet, or because you can't see people’s reaction anyway?"
Isabelle gasped, but it was Alexander who shut the boy up. He went to stand in front of Jace, radiating anger, and Magnus wondered if they could communicate in that sort of situation, if they had learn sign language maybe, or another system for when the boy couldn't speak.
"You're not so far off actually," Magnus answered calmly. "In fact, I'm free of those worries because I no longer have it. Curtesy of my father who couldn't bear to look at my cat eyes any longer," he said, tapping a finger lightly to the scarred skin of his face.
That didn’t lighten the mood, of course. Their emotions were setting him on edge. He was usually better at shielding himself from the people around him, their projection and presence, their feelings. He felt vulnerable, exposed. Why did he have to reveal so much of himself?
But then much more soft and caring feelings washed over him, and he was left a little dazed. It was coming from Alexander, overwhelming his anger towards his brother. He had rarely felt empathy so strong, and he felt drawn to it like a moth to a flame.
"My brother says it wasn't your fault. That you can't help how you're born," Isabelle said. Magnus raised an eyebrow. Caught off guard, he made a dismissive gesture.
"I'm over it. So yeah, demon marks and the like can be a sensitive subject for us. I told your mother she could easily do something about it, but she didn't seem very concerned. She can order us here anyway, if she wants too. Respect the Accords, right?"
No one answered.
"I'm done here. Alexander, shall we?" he said, extending his arm toward the man. The air was still tense, charged with animosity, but the young man eventually let go and hooked their arms once more. They walked the corridors without a word until they reached what was most likely a kind of infirmary, where Magnus went back to work, thinking of how he was going to ask Catarina to repay him for this. But then he felt Alexander's presence just behind him, full of curiosity, shining bright in Magnus's mind, and he figured he may let it slide.
.
It had to have to do with fate or something, because he had never met any of the Lightwood siblings before, and now it was the third time they met in so many weeks. Under dreadful circumstances, unfortunately.
The Jace boy had been gravely wounded, and while they would usually call Catarina for this, demon poisoning fell more in his area of qualifications. He was back at the Institute, even less thrilled than last time. Curing demon poison was always tricky, a long and tedious process, and if he had counted on at least Alexander's soothing presence, he gave up on it as soon as the boy met him at the gates. He was frantic, in a full panic, and Magnus chocked up on the sudden despair and fear enveloping him.
"Alexander, I'll do everything I can for your brother, but if you don't calm down right now I'm going to ask you to step away from me."
Amazingly enough, it worked, a little. The boy at least gained back some control over his raging emotion and his breath settled a bit.
"That's better. Now, please," he said, extending his arm. Alexander took it and led them quickly through the Institute. Magnus had a hard time keeping up with his hastened pace, but he could understand his urgency, and he trusted him enough to still be careful about the blind man on his arm. Now why that was, he couldn't tell. He just did.
The Jace boy was already far gone. Magnus winced when approaching him - this wasn't going to be easy. He settled next to him, rolling his sleeves, and, feeling Alexander hoover just behind him, said without turning, "If you can remain calm, I'd like you to stay. I might need you help."
He didn't know why, but even in his state, he still found comfort in the other man's presence, and he was going to need it. Alexander sat down at his side, and Magnus set to work.
.
A few hours later, there was still a lot to do, and he was getting tired. How the idiot had gotten in this state, he couldn't say. He must have jumped on a demon or something. Who knew, maybe he had.
Alexander was growing more and more concerned at his side, and for a second Magnus was grateful he refrained from making comments or asking questions, before he remembered he simply couldn't. He was really running out of energy. Without thinking, he presented one of his hand to the boy next to him.
"I need help," he muttered by way of an explanation. "Strength."
Normally, Shadowhunters would be reluctant to do this. They were wary of warlocks in general, of everyone who wasn't their own, really. He wondered if they told horror stories to their children, about warlocks sucking people dry of energy and life. He wouldn't be surprise. But Alexander didn't hesitate one second. Seeing how he cared about his brother, it was not surprising, really, but still, Magnus counted it as a small victory.
Oh, and energy, the boy had some to spare.
It was exhilarating. Alexander was a young and powerful Shadowhunter, strong, determined. He was solid too, a quiet force. Magnus drew from deep inside of him, got a glimpse of his mind and soul, and had to fight to stay focused on his patient, who was thrashing on the bed, still unconscious. Just a little more. It would soon be over. A little more…
Magnus felt Alec waver, but the boy’s grasp never weakened. Finally, Jace settled down, his face smoothing over as pain receded. Magnus took the time to check, once more, that every last drop of poison was out of his body, before collapsing back into his chair with a long sigh. He felt completely empty.
“He’s out of trouble,” he said after a moment. “Well, for now at least. I trust him to find his way back here soon enough.”
Yes.
The tap was weak, but there, and Magnus realized they were still holding hands tightly. He had no wish of stopping, and since Alexander didn’t make a move to remove it, they didn’t.
Until the sudden silence of the room drew Isabelle in. Alexander snatched his hand back immediately and Magnus slumped even further, deprived of his support, exhaustion overcoming him.
“Are you alright?” Isabelle asked, concerned.
“I will be, in a minute.”
More like hours, even a day or two, but he didn’t want to stay here any longer. Suddenly he longed for the comfort and safety of his loft, away from the world and from bright-souled boys. They went to fetch their mother, and when they came back, he was gone.
.
It had been a long time since Alec had wanted so badly to talk to someone.
He had come to terms with his condition over the years. He wasn’t even ten years old when the witch cursed him, and it had appeared rapidly that nothing could be done about it, the culprit having been killed quickly after the fact, as Shadowhunters were known to do. Too bad curses could only be lifted safely by their caster.
As if it wasn't enough, the only thing she could tell them before dying was that maybe if he wished it strong enough, the curse would go away. Total bullshit, as his parents were told later by every warlock they took him too, but Robert and Maryse chose to believe what they wanted. It was easier to blame him than to make proper arrangements for him to still be able to communicate with the world. Matter made worse by his teenage years, when he stopped being able to talk to them, something they never forgave him for.
It wasn't just love, it was more complex than that. He loved his parents, but he didn't like them. He didn't trust them, or feel comfortable around them, and so he couldn't open his mouth in their presence.
The list of people he could actually talk to was tragically small. His three siblings, a few other Shadowhunters their age, like Aline Penhallow, their instructor Hodge, and that was it.
And, he hoped, maybe someday, Magnus.
It was strange, because the man was blind, they shouldn't have been able to even interact at all. But Magnus didn't mind talking to him even if he didn't answer, something he enjoyed a lot. The few times he had been needed at the Institute, Alec had accompanied him around, and Magnus had talked, tales about his life, his clients, places he had seen. There was only so far they could go with Yes and No answers, but it allowed him to share a few things too. He was used to being dismissed. Once people understood he couldn't talk, they would give up on trying to communicate with him. Shadowhunters weren't known for their patience and tolerance.
He was training once again, as he usually did. Since he could never be an ambassador, a diplomat, as he had aspired to be as a child, he could at least be a good soldier. He didn't have many options unfortunately.
"Alec, you have to come right now," Izzy said, barging into the room.
"Why, what is it?"
"Mom is arguing with Magnus. Quite loudly."
Stunned, Alec followed her to the entry hall, where indeed stood his mother and Magnus Bane, facing each other and talking angrily.
"For the last time, I'm asking you to leave."
"Your daughter invited me here. I'm not breaking any rule Maryse. You should relax."
Alec cast his sister an accusing look. She shrugged, apologetic. He couldn't really blame her. They almost never met new people around here. Magnus was new, and interesting. Of course Izzy wanted to have him around.
"She had no authority to do so. Her dalliances with Downworlders are already bad as they are, no need to add a warlock to the list."
Jace had come into the room too, but they were just watching and they would say nothing. Alec was tense with frustration and anger.
"What is your problem exactly?" Magnus asked in a calm tone, but his voice was strained, on edge.
"My problem is that you're not welcome here, warlock. Unless you have work to do, you have no place mingling with us. I won't stand for this. Leave now, and stay away from my children."
No, Alec wanted to say. No, no. He was taping his finger against his thighs, a reflex, but Magnus couldn't see him, couldn't hear him either. The man looked appalled.
"Well then," he said, and turned back toward the entrance, and that wouldn't do, that wouldn't. He liked Magnus. He wanted to see him again. He didn't want him gone. Maryse turned too, done with the issue, and Alec moved forward, focused on Magnus's back getting away from him. He opened his mouth.
.
Really, he was four hundred year old. Didn't he know better? Didn't he know well Shadowhunters and their way, how little they thought of him, of his kind? Sure, the Lightwood children were quite refreshing - he had met the youngest one the last time he was there, and it had given him hope for the future generations - but it didn't change the facts. He had it coming, really. He walked toward the front door, dead set on never setting foot here ever again, when he was stopped by a voice he had never heard before.
"Wait, wait, Magnus!"
He froze. He had never heard it but he recognized it somehow. He recognized its owner, his presence, so gentle, so bright.
Usually so quiet.
Alexander walked the remaining distance between them and as Magnus turned around, and he could feel his sense of wonder, a confused but happy daze. He pictured him smiling a soft smile, looking at him.
"I... I can take you back to your place? If you... you'd like."
Neither of them could see Maryse behind them, who hadn't left the room and was fuming, nor could they see Jace and Izzy blocking her, preventing her from coming any closer.
"Well, darling, I'd be delighted. You have a lovely voice. I'd like to hear more."
He liked to believe Alec blushed, or averted his gaze. He'd ask his sister later, she would betray him for sure. He extended an arm and Alec took it once again, the gesture almost a habit already, and left the Institute. Magnus had trouble separating Alexander’s excitement and happiness from his own. He felt pride, too, contempt, relief. It was intoxicating.
They would deal with the consequences later. Instead of worrying, they talked. And talked, and talked.